fairnymph
Ex-Bluelighter
Definitely. The number 1 most important trait for men is wealth/status. Intelligence is often part of this, but is not absolutely necessary.
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
Good looking Vs Intelligence
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MynameisnotDeja
Bluelight Crew
To me physical attraction is about more than just looks. It isnt just that they have to look good, but you gotta have the chemistry, the physical/sexual attraction. Otherwise its only friendship.
MynameisnotDeja
Bluelight Crew
fairnymph said:
Hmm I disagree..Im almost always attracted to guys who have less money than me..and I dont have any money.
fairnymph
Ex-Bluelighter
In general of course. It doesn't apply to me either.
star*
Bluelighter
Great replys everyone!
Just to clarify, i realise that it's more about the whole package ie looks AND intelligence ect. However i was posing the question as to why we look down on people who admit to choosing looks over intelligence. It seems rather hypocritical when others will freely admit they choose intelligence over beauty. Are they not both individual traits?
Like the people who choose intelligence project that they are somewhat far superior to those that go for looks, yet they are both drawn to these different traits in the same way. Isn't it all about choice and preference. Like how one person likes a man whereas the other will go for a woman. What does it matter as long as there is love between them both?
I wasnt so much looking for a right or wrong answer to this, it was more something to think about. I know we can all say 'beauty is skin deep' and all that. But WHY do we feel that that is so wrong? Is it just our society and how much the media has idolised beauty therefore making people seem somewhat inferior and isolated for being naturally beautiful? In other cultures beauty is celebrated. In our cultues it's like being beautiful is something to be ashamed of, something that is at fault of the person. Like people think that because they were born into beauty and it hasn't 'developed' per say therefore it has no substance. But people are born intelligent everyday.
Why is someone criticised simply by their priorities in how they desire a partner. We are simple creatures with simple needs. We feel uplifted by looking at beautiful scenery, can't the same be said for looking at beautiful people? Is it so wrong to want to be around beauty? Is it wrong to be with someone because looking at them makes you feel better? Is it wong to be with someone because talking to them makes you feel better? What's the difference?
Just say a person was deaf and couldnt speak, would it be alright for them to then base their parnter purely on looks alone? Seeing as though their number one sense would be sight, is it considered superficial of them to want to honour that need?
Hmm im not sure if i'm explaining myself too well![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Just to clarify, i realise that it's more about the whole package ie looks AND intelligence ect. However i was posing the question as to why we look down on people who admit to choosing looks over intelligence. It seems rather hypocritical when others will freely admit they choose intelligence over beauty. Are they not both individual traits?
Like the people who choose intelligence project that they are somewhat far superior to those that go for looks, yet they are both drawn to these different traits in the same way. Isn't it all about choice and preference. Like how one person likes a man whereas the other will go for a woman. What does it matter as long as there is love between them both?
I wasnt so much looking for a right or wrong answer to this, it was more something to think about. I know we can all say 'beauty is skin deep' and all that. But WHY do we feel that that is so wrong? Is it just our society and how much the media has idolised beauty therefore making people seem somewhat inferior and isolated for being naturally beautiful? In other cultures beauty is celebrated. In our cultues it's like being beautiful is something to be ashamed of, something that is at fault of the person. Like people think that because they were born into beauty and it hasn't 'developed' per say therefore it has no substance. But people are born intelligent everyday.
Why is someone criticised simply by their priorities in how they desire a partner. We are simple creatures with simple needs. We feel uplifted by looking at beautiful scenery, can't the same be said for looking at beautiful people? Is it so wrong to want to be around beauty? Is it wrong to be with someone because looking at them makes you feel better? Is it wong to be with someone because talking to them makes you feel better? What's the difference?
Just say a person was deaf and couldnt speak, would it be alright for them to then base their parnter purely on looks alone? Seeing as though their number one sense would be sight, is it considered superficial of them to want to honour that need?
Hmm im not sure if i'm explaining myself too well
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fastandbulbous
Bluelight Crew
Can't remember who said it:-
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly runs right through to the core"
Someone can be physically stunning, but ugly because of their attitude. You don't tend to get that with intelligence
"Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly runs right through to the core"
Someone can be physically stunning, but ugly because of their attitude. You don't tend to get that with intelligence
Sorry I dragged the thread a bit off topic before. star*, this is a great question.
At first, I thought that intelligence is something that must be developed through work like reading and thinking. And that beauty doesn't require that work. But it doesn't take a lot of work to cultivate intelligence if you've got it - it comes naturally - and it does take work to look good and keep your looks as you age. So that can't be it.
Maybe it's jealousy? Everyone wants great looks, but only a few have it. Everyone wants to be smart (and likes to think they're smart), but it's the same, only a few have it. Maybe the difference is that with looks, everyone knows if they have it or not. But with intelligence, maybe people don't know if they haven't got it?
WAIT...another theory: it's how people *respond* to you. When someone's great looking, practically everyone responds to them positively. They have all kinds of things handed to them on a silver platter, in both personal and professional life. (There's a price to pay, too, but I have to assume no great looking person would say the costs outweight the benefits.) So here we have these people who, from the perspective of 90% of the population, have it oh-so-easy. Intelligence gets you none of this. Typically, the smarter you are, the *harder* life is! "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." So I think the difference is still jealousy, but based on how easy normal-looking people believe it is for beautiful people.
Arrggg...I'm scrapping that one too. How about this: without intelligence, we wouldn't have shit. No medicine, stories, music, airplanes, etc. There is a high value to intelligence. One person's intelligence, well-used, can benefit many. But beauty doesn't contribute anything to society. A great looking person is nice to look at, but doesn't do anything for us if we're not involved with them. And even if we are, the beauty only continues to have value if we like them for their inside as well. So when someone likes an intelligent person for their intelligence, we respect that because of its inherent value, but when someone like a beautiful person for their beauty, then we know that they're shallow, because we know that in a relationship it's the inside that matters, regardless.
At first, I thought that intelligence is something that must be developed through work like reading and thinking. And that beauty doesn't require that work. But it doesn't take a lot of work to cultivate intelligence if you've got it - it comes naturally - and it does take work to look good and keep your looks as you age. So that can't be it.
Maybe it's jealousy? Everyone wants great looks, but only a few have it. Everyone wants to be smart (and likes to think they're smart), but it's the same, only a few have it. Maybe the difference is that with looks, everyone knows if they have it or not. But with intelligence, maybe people don't know if they haven't got it?
WAIT...another theory: it's how people *respond* to you. When someone's great looking, practically everyone responds to them positively. They have all kinds of things handed to them on a silver platter, in both personal and professional life. (There's a price to pay, too, but I have to assume no great looking person would say the costs outweight the benefits.) So here we have these people who, from the perspective of 90% of the population, have it oh-so-easy. Intelligence gets you none of this. Typically, the smarter you are, the *harder* life is! "Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see." So I think the difference is still jealousy, but based on how easy normal-looking people believe it is for beautiful people.
Arrggg...I'm scrapping that one too. How about this: without intelligence, we wouldn't have shit. No medicine, stories, music, airplanes, etc. There is a high value to intelligence. One person's intelligence, well-used, can benefit many. But beauty doesn't contribute anything to society. A great looking person is nice to look at, but doesn't do anything for us if we're not involved with them. And even if we are, the beauty only continues to have value if we like them for their inside as well. So when someone likes an intelligent person for their intelligence, we respect that because of its inherent value, but when someone like a beautiful person for their beauty, then we know that they're shallow, because we know that in a relationship it's the inside that matters, regardless.
doofqueen
Bluelighter
Fallen1 said:
Are you saying i'm ugly because i'm not superficial?
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Fall in love with your eyes closed...
Someone's intelligence and attitude are far more important to me than their looks. It has to do with, for lack of a better term, "development."
If someone is rich or good-looking or charismatic (or all three) they never really have to become anything else or better themselves. You could be dating them at age 32 and it's functionally like dating an 11 year old because they never had to learn to deal. With extremely rare exceptions, most of whom were married by age 22, really rich or good-looking or charismatic girls make me want to vomit because of their perspective on life, delusions, development, etc.
I think rarity figures in pretty heavily here too, and really intelligent people are far more rare than the really beautiful. The person who said staring at beauty for 60 years would be boring hit the nail on the head. I want someone to connect with who will understand the shit that I say and also frequently say things that make me *not* want to smack them.
Ultimately I think awareness/perspective means the most. Someone can be far from a genius but still hate stupidity. It's a far cry from "Wal-Mart? What do they sell walls there?"
If someone is rich or good-looking or charismatic (or all three) they never really have to become anything else or better themselves. You could be dating them at age 32 and it's functionally like dating an 11 year old because they never had to learn to deal. With extremely rare exceptions, most of whom were married by age 22, really rich or good-looking or charismatic girls make me want to vomit because of their perspective on life, delusions, development, etc.
I think rarity figures in pretty heavily here too, and really intelligent people are far more rare than the really beautiful. The person who said staring at beauty for 60 years would be boring hit the nail on the head. I want someone to connect with who will understand the shit that I say and also frequently say things that make me *not* want to smack them.
Ultimately I think awareness/perspective means the most. Someone can be far from a genius but still hate stupidity. It's a far cry from "Wal-Mart? What do they sell walls there?"
aunty establishment
Bluelight Crew
Disagree. I've always been fairly average looking and have dated my share of male model types. Some very attractive men are excited by the prospect of dating intelligent women as a change from the routine of gorgeous ditzes. Although I must say these relationships haven't, by and large, lasted terribly long, or been very satisfying. But the sex was nice, and it was fun making gay men jealous
A few disclaimers:
1. not saying I'm super-intelligent or anything, but I'm, like, totally sure I'm smarter than I am hot
2. not generalising all pretty girls as ditzes (fairnymph disproves that quickly
) but there are some women who neglect their brain in their effort to maintain exterior beauty.
dr seuss
Bluelight Crew
ah, but there are people who are intellectually stunning, but ugly because of their attitude - everyone knows the (usually 'mildly' intelligent) poser who likes to publicly ridicule those they consider below them...
David
Ex-Bluelighter
^^Who's that?
Intelligence is more important to me, but I can't stand an ugly face to wake up to in the morning after situation.
Intelligence is more important to me, but I can't stand an ugly face to wake up to in the morning after situation.
dr seuss
Bluelight Crew
you know the sort - the type of educated person who's really not all that intellectually but feels the need to assert their brilliance by brain-bullying people... insisting on correcting people's grammar in public, or always seeking to demonstrate what an awesome grasp of trivia they have, or belittling other people's ideas...
there are always a few. generally they do it (like all bullies) because of some internal deficiency.
there are always a few. generally they do it (like all bullies) because of some internal deficiency.
David
Ex-Bluelighter
Ahh yes, I know the type.
I had to think of examples before I caught it. I work with a guy that always corrects my grammar, which I know is pretty bad. He's going for his MBA currently.
I had to think of examples before I caught it. I work with a guy that always corrects my grammar, which I know is pretty bad. He's going for his MBA currently.
HobbyIsBowling
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2004
- Messages
- 1,436
David said:
Washing up must be a bitch.
edit: J/K of course
David
Ex-Bluelighter
^^Only when you're not here to do it for me.
fastandbulbous
Bluelight Crew
Wouldn't really say they're that intelligent in the first place then...
The people that I've known who truely were intelligent/bright/clever (whatever you want to call it) were modest people, who would rather laugh at themselves rather than direct it towards other people - they were happy with who they were, and didn't feel the need to belittle other people in order to feel good/secure about themselves (they tend to be bad tempered/don't suffer fools gladly though!)
dr seuss
Bluelight Crew
^yeah, i was sort of tip-toeing around that division...
i think fundamentally most people are nice and modest, really i do. but when they're in groups, in love or wasted, things change
i think fundamentally most people are nice and modest, really i do. but when they're in groups, in love or wasted, things change
mariacallas
Bluelight Crew
fastandbulbous said:
Word. The most INTERESTING and intelligent people i know arent afraid to be dorks, are secure enough to let other people bask in the limelight, and are inherently unselfish and unaffected . Those are fuckin rare qualities i tell you.