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Good looking Vs Intelligence

eh...the smartest i've met was extremely modest. but i've also known, and known of extremely bright people who were just complete pricks. (i know we think of stephen hawking as being some physically helpless brainiac, but before he became handicapped he had a reputation for being kind of a bastard.)

the idea that some characteristic necessarily (or tends to) beget/s another is a gross generalization.

to say that most "intelligent" people are also modest, or to use any other like association is stretching. you can definitely find trends among social dynamics, etc. but to say that most beautiful people are stupid, most intelligent people are modest- i don't know.
 
what a person looks like isn't really just a skin deep thing. it's an expression of who they are. they wear their body a certain way because that's who they are. there's nothing wrong with liking someone for being themself. and there's certainly nothing wrong in having an appreciation of something that is, to you, aesthetically beautiful.

personally i hate people who are overly "intelligent"; just as much as i hate people who try to pass themselves off as being smart, by having a good general knowledge of how to use the right words in the right places... but not much else.

i guess all in all, i consider beauty and intelligence to both be important, but generally i tend go for sexual performance.
 
fastandbulbous said:
The people that I've known who truely were intelligent/bright/clever (whatever you want to call it) were modest people, who would rather laugh at themselves rather than direct it towards other people - they were happy with who they were, and didn't feel the need to belittle other people in order to feel good/secure about themselves (they tend to be bad tempered/don't suffer fools gladly though!)
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This is really interesting to me. I have a tendency to mock everyone and everything, because most things just strike me as funny. There was a time when I though laughing more at myself than anyone else justified me laughing at them, back when I still thought most people were intelligent. These days, I honestly believe my attacks don't stem from personal insecurity. My residual bitterness from highschool has drained away, and overall I find myself to be happy with the direction I'm taking my life, and my decisions. If I am insecure in a social situation, eg because I'm standing next to someone who is clearly way out of my league intellectually, my general response is to shut up and see what I can learn. However, put me in a gathering with people who repeatedly say things I consider stupid, and insist they are right without using logic, and I become one of the most obnoxious people you have ever met. My friends know that stupidity amuses, and occasionally irritates, me greatly. Everyone else, however, assumes that the attacks stem from personal insecurity. (Mariposa, care to chime in?) My question is, how many people believe me, and how many think I am full of shit? Do I mock the stupid because they are stupid or because I am insecure?
 
The last bit about not suffering fools gladly pretty much covers your response - I meant people who try to belittle others by treating them as thick, just in order to try and impress a third party. In the presence of people spouting things as fact when they're obviously wrong, yet they wont listen to a reasoned arguement as to why I think they're wrong, generally prompts me to become very caustic.

When I'm in the company of somebody talking about something I know very little about, I do what you do - sit and listen (and possibly ask questions later)
 
Good looks get you in the door, personality, charm and intellect get you from the door to the bed.
 
^ :)

i guess all in all, i consider beauty and intelligence to both be important, but generally i tend go for sexual performance.
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even in your 80s? ;)
 
Fallen1 said:
However, put me in a gathering with people who repeatedly say things I consider stupid, and insist they are right without using logic, and I become one of the most obnoxious people you have ever met. My friends know that stupidity amuses, and occasionally irritates, me greatly. Everyone else, however, assumes that the attacks stem from personal insecurity. (Mariposa, care to chime in?) My question is, how many people believe me, and how many think I am full of shit? Do I mock the stupid because they are stupid or because I am insecure?
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I'm just going to ask, what's the point of picking on people who are not as intelligent as yourself? It won't educate them or help them become more receptive to your ideas. So why do it?

I just think that picking on people for being dumber than yourself is the same as picking on people for being weaker than yourself or uglier than yourself. It's just cruel and pointless.

No offence, I'm just presenting my opinion.
 
at the moment theres a chick thats realy realyinto me and she always says im hot yada yada yada. and i feel un easy because i think shes superficial and it makes me feel bad i dont know why.
 
Fallen1 said:
If I am insecure in a social situation, eg because I'm standing next to someone who is clearly way out of my league intellectually, my general response is to shut up and see what I can learn. However, put me in a gathering with people who repeatedly say things I consider stupid, and insist they are right without using logic, and I become one of the most obnoxious people you have ever met.
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I'm the same way. Exactly.

Beatlebot said:
I'm just going to ask, what's the point of picking on people who are not as intelligent as yourself? It won't educate them or help them become more receptive to your ideas. So why do it?

I just think that picking on people for being dumber than yourself is the same as picking on people for being weaker than yourself or uglier than yourself. It's just cruel and pointless.
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This is going to be really hard to explain, so please try and bear with me.

It's not so much that I pick on people because they are "dumber" than me, it's just that something inside me CANNOT tolerate(or respect) those who are ignorant about a subject, but refuse to admit they know nothing about it, and continue to try and impress everyone by misusing snippets that they read in a magazine or quotes they heard on television(or other things of that nature, you get the idea).

If someone knows less than me about a subject and they are respectful of my opinion and realize I have something to bring to the convo, then even if they won't admit I know more than them I'm still not going to give them a hard time, because if you respect my opinion, then I'm probably going to respect yours also.

As long as there is dialogue, I usually won't be obnoxious. The minute I feel like the other person(who knows less than me about a subject) is "telling me how it is" and discounting what I am saying, then things tend to get ugly very quickly, and it usually ends with the other person being embarrassed and having their (usually oversized) ego bruised, which doesn't make feel good, but it doesn't really make me feel bad either.

Basically, if you're going to try and look uber-smart in front of everyone at my expense, then you better be damn sure you know the subject matter better than I do, or you're going to pay for it.
 
intelligence is one of the most attractive things ever, in my point of view. i don't think i've ever been attracted to someone who wasn't some kind of nerd (and i do mean "nerd" as a term of endearment -- hell, i'm a nerd).
 
HobbyIsBowling, thanks for your answer. I know where you're coming from a bit on that one. It's hard to ignore stupidity when it's being loud and obnoxious. I think the key thing to remember here is that stupid people will only impress other stupid people. An intelligent observer will just roll their eyes and get on with their day.

After some thought:
I think it's just harder for most people to accept it when they come across someone dumber than themselves. We always tend to think it is willful ignorance rather than just a natural defiency on the other persons part. So we rip into them and try and make then feel bad for being stupid, but it doesn't achieve anything except maybe make a person hold onto their dumb beliefs even harder - because they don't want to start agreeing with you, you smart-arse :D

Steering back on topic:
I've noticed that beautiful people can get away with being alot dumber and noone will call them on it or even notice. For instance, I bet HobbyIsBowling wouldn't rip into a beautiful dumb girl as much as he would rip into an ugly dumb girl in an argument :)
 
Beatlebot: HobbyisBowling pretty much nailed it. I don't pick on them for being stupid, I pick on them for being stupid, talking about shit they know nothing about, and wasting verbal space that someone intelligent could be using to teach me something. When stupid people speak, I dont learn anything, so hopefully if I explain to them why they are stupid, they will shut up and allow me a useful conversation. Of course, stupid people almost by definition don't know when to shut up, so it escalates.

With regards to your second point, thats really the killer for me. I know that they won't turn around and agree with me, because pride and stupidity tend to go hand in hand. So, the more they dig in, the more I ridicule them, until they storm off in tears or I find someone interesting to talk to.

Your last point i disagree with. I'm a lot more tolerant towards stupid, ugly people than I am towards the beautiful ones. The ugly ones I tend to feel sorry enough for that I just shrug and move on. The beautiful ones have a tendency, in my experience, to expect people to listen to them. Maybe this is due to being the popular ones in highschool, maybe its from experience that beauty tends to be useful for convincing people to do what you want. Either way, if you are beautiful and stupid, and running your mouth, I find that irritating. Mostly because its a waste of beauty, but also because if someone is stupid, and ugly, I sort of think "well, you got dealt a losing hand to begin with, theres not really any point winning an argument with you, you lost at life before the game begun".
 
David said:
^^Who's that?

Intelligence is more important to me, but I can't stand an ugly face to wake up to in the morning after situation.
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Just gotta find a brilliant hottie. Its the only solution! :)
 
When people talk about "intellegence", they might either be referring to it in a very narrow sense, like pure brain power as measured on an IQ test, or might be using the word in a much broader sense to reflect such traits as emotional intellegence, life knowledge/experience, and character.

So as far as by intellegence we're just talking about brain power, than I think its just as superficial as looks. Its something you're basically born with and doesnt neccarily make you either a better or worse person.

..But if by speaking of intellegence we're referring to a person's mind as a whole, including the way the person sees the world, their level of emotional awareness, and the wisdom accumulated through life experience, than its defintely a more deep basis for attraction than looks.
 
dr seuss said:
^ :)

even in your 80s? ;)
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totally. IF i ever reach 80 and, technology forbid, i am all wrinkly with those spot things and i'm completely stupid because my brain is mostly expired. i still expect/hope/assume sex will be still be fucking great. even if it could kill me at that age.
 
I'm not great looking. Hell, only one side of my face is really working. I'm not in wonderful shape either. But I do just fine with women. Why? Because I'm happy, funny, and I'm pretty smart.

I'm in perpetual awe of the world around me. Whether it's birds in flight, fish in the deep sea, astronomy, mathematics, history, physics, medicine, war, peace, religion... I'm the ultimate spectator. I can't learn enough about everything.

And when I find a new tidbit that leaves me in awe I take pains to share it with the people around me. Sometimes I feel like a performer. I try my best to instill that same feeling of awe in others.

For instance, today I watched a special on the Halifax explosion of 1917. A munitions ship exploded in Halifax harbour after a collision with another vessel. The devastation completely flattened two square kilometers, and killed over 2000 people. Until the dropping of the bomb at Hiroshima it was the largest man-made explosion ever. I'll talk about this with people at lunches for weeks, I'm sure, because it captured me.

I'll be that way the rest of my life. Always learning, always in awe, and always anxious to share that wonder. And that makes me one interesting guy to spend time with.

Heck, I've got a couple girls that call me up to go for lunch just to listen to me yap. One said her favorite channel was "PTV".

If you're smart, but condescending and cynical, your intelligence won't help you. But if you're smart, engaging and happy, your physical appearance is less and less of an issue.

Trust me.
 
Apparently I wasn't smart enough to answer the original post, though...

I think it's considered less superficial to be attracted to intelligence because so much of society pushes people to consider physical beauty first and foremost. In effect, you're bucking the trend and showing you can see past the first glance.

Since the range of intelligence is as broad as the range of physical beauty, I'm not sure that either type of attraction is any more or less superficial than the other. Being attracted to the very intelligent is like being attracted to the very athletic - in both cases it's a tiny percentage of the population.

And I don't think either type carries any guarantee of a happy love life. Neither excessive athleticism nor excessive intelligence make for a good marriage - or a bad one for that matter. There are far greater factors at work.
 
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