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Girlfiend against occasional benzo use

L

lostsoul.On.E

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May 21, 2009
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i have a little dilemma. my girl found my stash of benzos and flushed them down the toilet. i dont mind that because she didnt know i had those and was really disapointed i was hiding it. The only reason i hid it from her is because i dont want her getting involved with that stuff as its not for everyone. the thing is benzos is the only drug that i enjoy recreationally(besides rollign once in a while). i dont want to stop because i ts not a problem i just take em once ina while to relax and chill out. She told me that she doesnt want to be with some one taking xanax so i told her i will stop. Shes being a hypocrite though because she smokes weed almost everyday and knows i dont like that but she still does it. so why is it fair to tell me to stop if she does drugs also? so she can smoke weed everyday but i cant take a benzo once every couple of weeks? it doesnt sound fair. i know benzos are alot more dangerous than marijuanabut thats if you are not careful and either get hooked or take enough to black out. i dont see xanax being anymore harmful than smoking weed as long as i use it in moderation. so what should i do?
 
I couldn't be with a girl like that. And she smokes weed? Yeah, there's no way...

And honestly, I don't think that benzos are all that dangerous at all, maybe when they're mixed with other substances, but the occasional benzo here and there? I can't imagine anyone arguing its being more detrimental to ones health than marijuana.

Ideally, you two can come to some understanding, but...that may not be possible. So I guess what it comes down to is this: you can quit taking the pills to be with your girlfriend and she can quit smoking weed to be with you, and you can both give up that one thing you each enjoy. That's shitty option number one. Both of you can learn to look the other way and secretly hold a certain amount of resentment for the other for the duration of the relationship. That's shitty option number two. Or, you can throw up your arms, call her a bitch, and find a girl who gets down like you do... I've done it, and it feels good, man. It's easy enough to do when you're young, but gets more and more difficult to do as you get older.
 
She is not for you IMO. She may fancy herself the fixer, but I bet you know full well that is on

YOU

and not her.

Drop her like a hot rock, or drop the dependence on a pharmaceutical regiment.

It is ultimately YOUR choice. Don't forget that.

:)
 
Well, you could do a better job at hididng your benzos and your benzo use. Or you could have an open and frank discussion with her about it, and tell her that there is some serious hipocrisy if she is smoking weed daily but you can't have a few benzos to relax every now and again. Or you just stop using benzos. Those are the three options I see if you want to stay in the relationship, otherwise you can get out of it if you feel neccessary.
 
Normski said:
Flush her weed down the bog and then take it from there
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Directed at OP

If you start doing shit like this don’t expect your relationship to last, it’s childish.

You need to have a discussion with her about it and you both need lay all of your cards on the table, if you can’t live without benzo’s she needs to know this so you and her can both decide if compromise is possible. If a compromise is not possible then the relationship needs to end, unless you want a life of hiding shit from each other all of time.. AKA an extremely unhealthy and absurd relationship.
 
^ yup it's childish...

She's a complete hypocrite and you need her to see this. otherwise I can't see it going anywhere. Why do you dislike her being constantly stoned? And if you do, why are you with her anyways? Considering that's a pretty big thing...
 
Definitely childish to flush her stuff down the toilet too (although it may be amusing for a bit).
But it doesn't seem like you two are a good fit. Probably better to break it off now.
 
It may be childish, but sometimes actions can speak louder than words, and it would certainly work to send a message...

And I've got a certain philosophy on these things, and that philosophy is this: sometimes, ya just gotta do it for the LOLs. (But I suppose that's only if the relationship doesn't mean very much to you.)
 
verso said:
It may be childish, but sometimes actions can speak louder than words, and it would certainly work to send a message...

And I've got a certain philosophy on these things, and that philosophy is this: sometimes, ya just gotta do it for the LOLs. (But I suppose that's only if the relationship doesn't mean very much to you.)
Click to expand...

Send a message? You make it sound like she is a business that hasn't payed her protection money lol

Yeah, if the relationship doesn't mean anything to you then I can see how it would provide some entertainment.
 
This relationship seems to have little to stand on as is anyway. I think the issue is deeper than the specifics of this instance. Her attitude towards management of differences in opinion is a little more than myopic in my opionion.

Tit for tats, especially ongoing ones are indeed absurd and extremely toxic to both parties involved.

I would definitely consider putting this incident in the context of her overall conduct towards you in the relationship so far.

Maybe this is setting a precedent you would rather not have to deal with.
 
LuGoJ said:
Send a message? You make it sound like she is a business that hasn't payed her protection money lol

Yeah, if the relationship doesn't mean anything to you then I can see how it would provide some entertainment.
Click to expand...

Send a message, make a statement, prove a point... are any of these doing it for you?
 
Normski said:
Flush her weed down the bog and then take it from there
Click to expand...

this- she needs some empathy and to treat others possessions with respect. bit childish on her part, give her a taste of her own medicine and then say "i'm doing it for your health..."

do unto others as you would have them do unto you. i think she doesn't respect you and seems controlling. this would be more tolerable if she wasn't a chronic pothead which when you add both bits makes her seem like a dickhead.

some pot users think that every other drug but weed is evil. this is hogwash
 
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^ that's a good spin on things... I never thought about flipping it like that. It may at least make her think twice about whether she's being a royal-pain-in-the-ass in the next one.

The empathy thing is good in theory - like biting a child who bit you just enough to show them it hurts - but the point is she's not a child, so to treat her like one would be dumb & frankly disrespectful - here OP you can actually talk to her about it (write it down so as not to get off track/sound like you're blaming) and move on, as it's obviously a case of 2 + 2 = 5.

Verso that would be pretty funny if you were totally bored. ;)
 
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B1tO'RoughJack said:
^ that's a good spin on things... I never thought about flipping it like that. It may at least make her think twice about whether she's being a royal-pain-in-the-ass in the next one.

The empathy thing is good in theory - like biting a child who bit you just enough to show them it hurts - but the point is she's not a child, so to treat her like one would be dumb & frankly disrespectful - here OP you can actually talk to her about it (write it down so as not to get off track/sound like you're blaming) and move on, as it's obviously a case of 2 + 2 = 5.

Verso that would be pretty funny if you were totally bored. ;)
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you bin my drugs,,, as well as dumping you, you'd have to suffer and for a pothead it would be the weed.

for me when someone does something like bin your stash the trust and respect is gone, if she dont like the drugs she doesn't HAVE to go out with the op.

i would leave but make a final statement, even better tell her you binned the weed but just go home and smoke it as repayment. ahaha
 
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