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  • EADD Moderators: axe battler | Pissed_and_messed

Gibberings ver. CCXVII - More Mouth Than A Cow Has Cunt

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steewith2ees said:
I know I am probably preaching to the converted here, but I routinely use a separate text editor (MS Word) for all my internet ramblings now and then copy and paste it to wherever. It helps to mitigate against accidental posts as well, and on a personal level, as 75% of what I post is guff it now gives me a clear chance for pause after spending 20 mins on some page long diatribe that no one wants to read every time I smoke a pipe of crack and as such at least half of what I now type now gets deleted before one character actually makes it onto Bluelight itself.

Sorry to have gone OT by referring to the least relevant of what was an honest, insightful and powerful post but again, as stated above, I have a predilection for discussing irrelevancies at length, but it is 4.55 am and I making the most of 2 whizzles I bought last night while picking up some weed, saved for this morning to go with my coffee (I managed to save them as I had taken some clonazepam yesterday which would have seen them wasted).
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Ha, that wee rant was the product of four pipes, no dinner & a bottle of wine last night & the concept of a separate text editor doesn't even occur to my addled brain on such occasions, though I usually do copy the text before I preview after losing my shit on previous occasions, but forgot last night, blah etc

I had 8.5 totally hanging hours in an office today to think about the error of my ways after 4 hours sleep

Chocolate coated coffee beans perked me up mid-afternoon & I'm now in my pj's under a blanket ready for an early night before I have to do it all over again tomorrow (work, not the drugs, alcohol, lack of sleep & food -hopefully)

Rock n roll
 
Zopiclone bandit said:
Always wanted a snow leopard myself, they are kinda rare & protected these days sadly.
Those bloody Chinese like to wear 'em & stuff :(
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My dad used to tell me he was getting me a puma as a kid, I honestly don't think I've ever forgiven him.
 
I always thought they should make cat food in flavours like antelope or zebra. For the little cat that thinks it's a big cat.
 
There are plenty of books in which the protagonist is an idealistic young lawyer, taking on unfairness and winning.

I suspect more than a few of them might have been written by lawyers who entered the system all young and idealistic, took on unfairness and lost (to the extent you can lose when you're still going to get paid) .....
 
BecomingJulie said:
I always thought they should make cat food in flavours like antelope or zebra. For the little cat that thinks it's a big cat.
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I always thought they should make cat food in flavours of scoff that they catch for themselves to eat: Fly, fledgling sparrow, spider, sweet grass tips, butter, cream, shrew/mouse [this flavour would stress that the purple magic beans that rodents have inside them have been removed] and erm anti-freeze.
 
F.U.B.A.R. said:
Dad's are cunts. I should know, I am one... =D
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Yeah except you're kids will just be (are) like "FFS dad nicked my MD again".

"That's because I need to see if its oldscool, dick head"

F.U.B.A.R. said:
Well, I had a minor victory against 'Da Man' yesterday.

Back in February, I was parked up in a lay-by in Flintshire doing some paperwork and having a fag. Absentmindedly, I dropped the end of my rolllie out the window. Now unbeknownst to me, there was an 'Environmental Protection Officer' (i.e. lumbering buffoon with a body cam and the social skills of a slug) parked up in the same lay-by. Anyway, he slithered over to me and accused me of dropping the cigarette end. I was totally caught unawares because this prick didn't even tell me who he was, he just informed me he had a body cam and was issuing a fixed penalty of ?75 for littering. I never actually admitted it but when he asked my details I gave them willingly (he managed to spell my name and address totally wrong).

Whilst writing the ticket, by way of a token apology he said "we're just trying to keep the environment tidy". I looked around at the piles of fast food cartons, drinks bottles and random shit and replied "I can see that's obviously working well, but I suppose you have to get your revenue from somewhere!"

Nonplussed, he issued the ticket and I fucked off in a strop. Later on, I did a bit of research and apparently, these cunts are supposed to give you the option of picking up your litter before issuing a fine. But they invariably don't because they expect you to be beaten into submission and pay the fine immediately like a good little boy, thus increasing the local council's coffers.

I didn't. I couldn't afford to pay the fine within the 28 day deadline. So I got another letter a month later giving me another months extension. I couldn't afford to pay that either, so I ignored it - thoroughly expecting to get a court summons and still have to pay an increased fine including court costs.

Yesterday, I received a letter saying no further action will be taken. Yay!!

So, I would recommend that anyone caught in a similar situation to stand your ground. Don't admit to anything. Pick up the alleged litter (whether asked to or not) then say "what litter?".

I reckon the majority of these cases wouldn't receive the time of day in court, they're just relying upon you to pay up as a money making exercise.

Ironically, I hate littering and wouldn't dream of throwing a paper wrapper, bottle or can at the side of the road. But a soggy dog end? Come on...
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Can't you just ignore these cunts? I'm thinking more of when you're in the street than when you have an identifiable car. But either way. Surely you don't need to give them your details?
 
Tranced said:
My dad used to tell me he was getting me a puma as a kid, I honestly don't think I've ever forgiven him.
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I think we are lost brothers as my dad used to do the same & each wk/end I would get so excited & was so looking forward to see what wild & savage beast I was meant to be getting. Sadly I never ended up with a tiger or a Jackal


This guy was real, my mom used to know him & one day he helped my nan cross the road while he was out walking his tiger

"As well as lions, he kept a crocodile in the bath, a tiger called Winston ? and even a gorilla. Add to the mix squirrels, ferrets, rottweilers and terriers"
TV plans documentary of bizarre Lion Man of Cradley Heath
https://www.birminghammail.co.uk/whats-on/film-news/tv-plans-documentary-bizarre-lion-10806471
 
I think I just passed up the opportunity of a lifetime.

There was a car pulled up in the entrance to a field, on the right hand side as far as the driver was concerned. He had left the keys in, the engine running and the door open while he hopped over the gate to take a piss in that said field.

And I just walked straight past. As opposed to hopping in, locking the doors and just driving off into the sunset.

Alright, so I'd be looking at a pretty impressive charge sheet; taking a vehicle without the owner's consent, driving without due care and attention, no licence, no insurance, possession with intent to supply (which I only remembered when they searched my bag), failing to stop, causing a nuisance by driving too slowly ..... But, man, how often does an opportunity for mischief like that ever present itself ?!
 
^Too often in many forms, though believe me you made the right choice... though i'd be feeling the exact same
 
Is anyone else drinking Tea? Proper loose leaf no teabags :D
 
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