⭐️ Social ⭐️ Gibberings ver. CCXIX - "what's new, c*nty chops?"

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Why would you have compassion for somebody that's proud of abusing people?

Agreed regarding the diagnoses, that's why I called them diagnoses rathr than saying 'I have' or 'I suffer from'.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

Why would you have compassion for somebody that's proud of abusing people?

so they can learn to have compassion for themselves maybe? cos there's clearly something amiss?

I get what you're saying though in general.

There are some posters on this site who are seriously enabled in bad ways by their 'friends', all to keep the peace. When some seeming unpalatable truth could be much, much better for them. It makes me sad

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Exactly my point.

I would be lying if I said I said it to be compassionate but frankly I think calling that behaviour out for what it is, IS way more compassionate than just carrying on like it's normal. Of course saying it the second way I did is the genuinely compassionate way to say it though (although I don't doubt the reaction would have been identical).

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Still, filled an evening didn't it

 

[Bleaney]

your post just lacked compassion is all

if every person on earth had a psychiatric / Sp.ld assessment I reckon 90% would get a diagnosis - we're pathologising the psyche.. most of it is just a framework to attempt understanding and most 'disorders' don't exist - just names which describe a collection of 'symptoms'

here's a good label for ya - human

I agree with your first sentence. But not the rest of your post.

Most of these diagnoses are very real, and they can help a person make sense of their lives, when they had previously been drowning in confusion and misunderstandings.

I personally had 50 years of not even knowing that I am Autistic (the explanation as to why that happened is a long story, but it does make sense) and once I've started coming to terms with it, I'm pretty much coming into my own at long last. It's been such a long journey and at least it has taught me many things that I needed to be taught, even if it was the hard way, in order to get them into my Autistic head.

I do also struggle and take a lot longer to learn and understand some of the more subtle, flexible, complicated, and nuanced social skills that real life interactions entail. Reading fiction seems to help clue me up a bit more.. Stephen King is so perceptive on what he has to say about human psychology and interactions in his books, and this is a large element of what makes him so good IMO. Many other writers too of course, probably greater writers too, of things like 'literary classics' but when you need to do a degree in English Literature to understand wtf they are on about, at the more inaccessible end of the scale, I think that is a bit much.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

I agree with your first sentence. But not the rest of your post.

Most of these diagnoses are very real, and they can help a person make sense of their lives, when they had previously been drowning in confusion and misunderstandings.

I personally had 50 years of not even knowing that I am Autistic (the explanation as to why that happened is a long story, but it does make sense) and once I've started coming to terms with it, I'm pretty much coming into my own at long last. It's been such a long journey and at least it has taught me many things that I needed to be taught, even if it was the hard way, in order to get them into my Autistic head.

I do also struggle and take a lot longer to learn and understand some of the more subtle, flexible, complicated, and nuanced social skills that real life interactions entail. Reading fiction seems to help clue me up a bit more.. Even a popular commercial author like Stephen KIng is fantastic on what he has to say about human psychology and interactions in his books. Many other writers too, probably greater writers too, but when you need to do a degree to understand wtf they are on about I think that is a bit much.

I know autism is real bro, and that diagnosis can help some people - i'm neither denying nor denigrating your experience

I'm unwell and tired and not communicating well so will leave it for another time, but for now just bear in in mind we are only scratching the surface with understanding mental health etc

 

[Bleaney]

I'm diagnosed autistic spectrum disorder, borderline personality disorder and ADHD so yeah the first iteration is not always the best. I also don't really give a fuck to baby people on the internet. If someone makes a post with pride about how they acted like a complete dickhead I'm probably going to stick the boot in.

Any other walk of life someone talking with pride about getting arrested for harassing and abusing their neighbours getting called a moron would be par for the course, only on bluelight does the person pointing it out get more stick than the person boasting about their pathetic behaviour.

Now that I know this, I can see and understand where your most arrogant and obnoxious posts are coming from, and maybe not hate you for them any more.

I think Bluelight should be supposed to be generally supportive, to some extent, of people going through issues. Although this can be very fickle. I've had the forum turn against me most savagely at a certain point under my previous screen name. (This is what it felt like, in reality it wasn't the whole forum, but it was a sizeable number of members) It was probably deserved, up to a point, with people giving me some harsh "home truths", but I wasn't ready or equipped to deal with them at the time.

I was abusing the fuck out of Phenazepam at the time, so it's very likely / almost certain that I was acting like a complete bell end at the time. Sometimes people can be plain nasty and turn to bullying though and it seemed there was some of that going on too. There's quite a fine line between the 2. Under the influence of Phenazepam I was very easily triggered into benzo rages, and once people noticed that, it seemed like everyone wanted to have a go, just for the fun of it.. This only lasted a short time fortunately and normal relations began to be resumed again. Mainly once I quit abusing phenazpam. It's not like I was hounded away, never to return, under my previous screen name following those incidents.

But I guess you're right in principle, and Bluelight shouldn't pussy foot around and should call out behaviours and actions for what they are. Even if it can come across as harsh. There's a balance to be struck as always though. Some empathy goes a long way when commenting on things like this. I hope that doesnt come across as too pompous and self-righteous.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Don’t judge me differently just because of those things, I hope I would respond in exactly the same way irrespective. I would much rather be someone that is honest if a little direct than all the wet behind the ears idiocy that has been posted in response.

All I did was say that she sounds like a total bore that’s old enough to know better (an accurate description of a middle aged person that is repeatedly getting arrested for abusing their neighbours) and I’ve been called arrogant, foolish, obnoxious and many other things in response. You guys should check yourselves ffs.

 

[Bleaney]

Yep, fair point. None of us are perfect.

It wasn't just the one post though, that's the thing, I wouldn't have said anything if it was. You've made a number of similar posts over the last couple of weeks.

I just wanted to clarify that, but I clearly need to drop it now, and I will.

 

[Jackal]

Just drilled a hole in the bedroom wall and mounted the picture that's been laying against the wall for a few years since I moved in here in 2020

It's reasonably big and heavy, probably a good 15kg and I hung it with this very skinny red twine that twangs like a guitar with the weight on it

Hopefully it doesn't break, it's been twenty minutes to date. . .

 

[LoginNotSecure]

Just drilled a hole in the bedroom wall and mounted the picture that's been laying against the wall for a few years since I moved in here in 2020

It's reasonably big and heavy, probably a good 15kg and I hung it with this very skinny red twine that twangs like a guitar with the weight on it

Hopefully it doesn't break, it's been twenty minutes to date. . .

You’ve reminded me to hang a picture in my office.

 

[Forever Changes]

IN other news, I had a decent night tonight, went to see Fontaines DC and they were good. Got some comments about "total gammon"

It's sad people throw around casual racism like this. I assume they were people who didn't even know you

 

[blondin]

Just drilled a hole in the bedroom wall and mounted the picture that's been laying against the wall for a few years since I moved in here in 2020

It's reasonably big and heavy, probably a good 15kg and I hung it with this very skinny red twine that twangs like a guitar with the weight on it

Hopefully it doesn't break, it's been twenty minutes to date. . .

Put a kitten underneath ...thats real jeopardy

 

[Bleaney]

It's sad people throw around casual racism like this. I assume they were people who didn't even know you

Total strangers.

It's the first gig I've been to where I've ever had comments of that sort. And I've attended plenty of gigs in my middle age. I don't know if it was because they were a particularly anti white middle age guys crowd, or if I have suddenly become too middle age to attend gigs. I think it's the former. It was only 2 separate individuals that made the gammon and Dad comments, but these things stick in your mind, as much as you may try to forget the bad and remember the good.

I suppose my CBT therapist would have had me question my perceptions, as to how i can be sure the comments were about me. The first guys may have been looking at something on their phones i guess, im not sure. People often assume that comments are made about them even when they are not. The dad thing definitely was. I dont care though, i was old enough to be that girls Dad. It's just a fact.

I've been called far worse tbh though lol and it really was water off a ducks back. Some things I do take to heart, but definitely not ridiculous baseless comments like that. I mean they had a basis I suppose, but it's just so childish and tribal.

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

Total strangers.

It's the first gig I've been to where I've ever had comments of that sort. And I've attended plenty of gigs in my middle age. I don't know if it was because they were a particularly anti white middle age guys crowd, or if I have suddenly become too middle age to attend gigs. I think it's the former. It was only 2 separate individuals that made the gammon and Dad comments, but these things stick in your mind, as much as you may try to forget the bad and remember the good.

I've been called far worse tbh though lol and it really was water off a ducks back. Some things I do take to heart, but definitely not ridiculous baseless comments like that. I mean they had a basis I suppose, but it's just so childish and tribal.

I’m probably too young to be called a gammon (just) but I would have uncorked a right hand on them. Almost guaranteed that anyone using the phrase gammon is going to be an absolute softcock that folds like a deck chair.

 

[Bleaney]

I’m probably too young to be called a gammon (just) but I would have uncorked a right hand on them. Almost guaranteed that anyone using the phrase gammon is going to be an absolute softcock that folds like a deck chair.

If that was the worst insult they could fling at me, if that was their intention, then they failed to insult me lol.

I thought the term was meant to apply to middle aged posh conservative toffs eg David Cameron, uber-Gammon.. I'm defintely not one of them and nor do I look remotely like one of them. The whole thing was pretty lame and strange imo

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

I wouldn’t have been insulted, some people just need a lesson in politeness. It’s an important life lesson, they going to insult the wrong person one day and plenty of people will go straight to the knife these days. It would have been doing them a favour.

 

[Bleaney]

Yeah, if I was especially fat and bald or something like that and they'd made comments about that then that would have been plain ignorant / nasty / rude / impolite. In that context I suppose the gammon comment was too. Again I wouldn't have been insulted though. Some things touch a nerve and others just don't.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

I’m probably too young to be called a gammon (just) but I would have uncorked a right hand on them. Almost guaranteed that anyone using the phrase gammon is going to be an absolute softcock that folds like a deck chair.

Pardon my US ignorance but what is a gammon?

 

[THECATINTHEHAT]

It’s a racist phrase used to describe a middle aged white man who votes conservative.