Gibberings CXXIV: Office Cakes

[Marmalade]

Yet amazingy Shammy, you've got a ketman ... that's pretty bloody special for such a small town. I haven't got one of those.

I think your wrist will get better with a splint on. I think me ma and pa's got some spares if you want me to send you one to give it a try. My dad had the same problem as you with his right wrist last year, and it occurred in similar circumstances (ie: having it in an odd angle to what it was used to)

It went away with a week of using a splint.

Not sure what painkillers you're using, but the ibuprophen/diclofenec type help more than paracetamol/cocods etc for that kind of pain, but watch your stomach with them (iirc you've got omeprazole anyhoo)

 

[masaz]

Good day Snolly,I thought of you yesterday when I read a story in the paper about a rabbit that scared off a burglar by stamping his feet on the floor.
Big rabbit 2feet long and weighs 10lb.
Don't mess with the rabbit cos the rabbit don't mess.

Fuckinell, I want me a rabbit like that! Mine patrols the door when she hears someone come in the front or going up and downstairs but she only scares people if they know her/of her sadly.

Am sat watching the dog trying to figure out the airbeds, it's hilarious, poor thing. Trying to do my reading for my Moral Philosophy lecture tomorrow but so far all I've learned is that 'premiss' is actually a word, despite spell check currently trying to tell me otherwise. Ah well. Tea time methinks. No booze in the house cos she's on new meds and I probably shouldn't be drinking so I'm feeling pretty good.

 

[Shambles]

Marmz: Have tried ibuprofen and naproxen and they really do seem to make it very noticably more painful. No idea how or why that works out that way but it does. Have given up on painkillers and just sticking with frequent and lengthy resting it on summat supportive. As such I'd suspect a splint or similarly supportive surgical appliance would be the best option. Which is great cos they're so fukkin sexy

Presemuably this is something the doctor might provide but if not I may take you up on the offer of a hand-me-down hand-supporter cos it really does have to stop sometime soon. Is a bleedin nuisance even with my near complete absence of doing stuff

Oh, and ketaman would be one of the two or three people I do know here. Everywhere needs at least one drug-dealer even if they are completely unreliable amateurs :D

(and he's owed me 3g of ket for nearly a fortnight now so is studiously avoiding me at the moment anyway)

 

[Mugz]

I'm currently sitting in an online NA meeting, first online one

Quote Originally Posted by NA

The 12 Steps of Narcotics Anonymous
We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had become unmanageable.
We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
We made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
We admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
We humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
We made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
We continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
We sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

I'm not sure I could buy into the whole NA thing Mugz - how are you on the whole God thing, and why would you need him to remove your 'defects of character' - couldn't you try, like, not taking drugs if you want to get clean?

Also, isn't it a bit self-defeating to be in an NA meeting on one tab, and on BL on another - if you're serious about abstaining from drugs, wouldn't a break from here be in order?

If you'll see, I posted about it while I was in the waiting room 3 minutes before it was about to start, when it started the NA tab had my full attention.#

Also, it's not so much all of the steps and the higher power stuff they throw at you (I'll get into the higher power stuff another time) that makes we want to go to these meetings, it is to be around people whether in a dodgy old church or community centre or in a massive online chatroom group that have been through addiction and out of those people many of them have battled it and have stories to tell about how it they did so, it's more about the friendships that you can make with other members who you instantly have something in common with, and more about helping out putting the tables and chairs out and away or washing up the coffee mugs after or making the coffee before, it's a fellowship of people that are just like you and me and some not so much but who are all battling through the same thing and are using each other as support to help them battle it. I have no shame in going to NA. I may not believe in all they preach but it's certainly going to help me over the next few years. I doubt I'll be a lifelong meeting attender but that is not a requirement either. It is just another part of my recovery that is helping me so far.

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

I've never regretted not learning to drive until I moved here, SHM. If it weren't for drugs in the post and a computer-based window on the world I would have gone completely nuts years ago. Is a close-run thing even with those small mercies :D

Unfortunately, I don't even know anybody with a car to cadge lifts off. In fact, despite living here for nearly a decade, I really only know two or three people other than the family members who live local.

Kind of on this topic...I can't have been the only person to realize (prove me wrong) that a significant part of the EADD demographic (I went to a media meeting once) is made up of people like yourself and myself Shambles, i.e hideous drug takers people who live in the wilds of nowhere, or at least say deepest West Wales (us), Devon and Cornwall (MM, Dan Friday, Cornish) or, ugh, Scotland (too many to mention). And that's without mentioning the Irish lot. I'm betting they don't all live in the centre of Belfast and Dublin.

So what am I saying? I don't know, rarely do. This forum is not representative of the London-centric dickheads (hello Jancrow) who normally rule our media.

Hooray for the internet and the voice it gives (not to mention the sanity it brings) to the rural cowboys. And girls.

 

[angelsmoke]

@Mugz Lovely post.

There's never any shame in seeking outside help when you can't handle something on your own. And it also seems like an obvious good thing to be trying to break out of the isolation that drug abuse can bring.

I've no personal experience of NA or other addiction/recovery groups, but I'll agree with others that the higher power thing and the "admit you have no control over your addiction" thing don't sit well with me. Everything you've said above though seem like good steps towards recovery. I hate the idea that a well intentioned brave move like this could wind up in you being a born again anti-drug cult member. I dunno if that'd be the worst thing for you though Thing is, you're such a stubborn sod that I don't worry about you getting culted. Other people's judgements and opinions seem to wash over you.

I'm rambling, I'll stop, just wanted to post my support.

 

[Shambles]

^^ You may well have a point there, SHM. Can kinda see how folk in more isolated situations may be more inclined to spend time here. Just got more time to spare, I suppose. Certainly the case for me. Have said many times that this is essentially the extent of my social life for the simple fact there is nothing and nobody locally to socialise with at all really. Has done me the world of good actually. Was getting very messy and in a distinctly downard spiral when I was stuck at MamaSham's with nobody to talk to other than immediate family. Not a good setup for somebody in their 30s who left home at 15 had been heavily using - and indeed heavily addicted to in some cases - various drugs in the inbetweeny years then gave it all up to crawl back to the only place that would have him. Briefly have him anyway. Not like we ever got on so was a somewhat tense situation to say the least :D

These small rural places seem to suck the life, energy and opportunity from everything though. Is horrid. Got no idea how I'll ever escape but it has to happen sometime. Is not good for a chap to be so cut-off from civilisation against his will. But til then there's drugs in the post and excessive BL abuse to keep me occupied

Mugz: Are there not any non-12 Step addiction groups where you are? They have the same plus points of meeting up with people with similar issues to share experiences and support each other only without the brainwashing and zealotry and with far, far, far higher success rates. Worth looking into maybe. But whatever gets ya through the night and all that

 

[third eye squeegee]

Also, it's not so much all of the steps and the higher power stuff they throw at you (I'll get into the higher power stuff another time) that makes we want to go to these meetings, it is to be around people whether in a dodgy old church or community centre or in a massive online chatroom group that have been through addiction and out of those people many of them have battled it and have stories to tell about how it they did so, it's more about the friendships that you can make with other members who you instantly have something in common with, and more about helping out putting the tables and chairs out and away or washing up the coffee mugs after or making the coffee before, it's a fellowship of people that are just like you and me and some not so much but who are all battling through the same thing and are using each other as support to help them battle it. I have no shame in going to NA. I may not believe in all they preach but it's certainly going to help me over the next few years. I doubt I'll be a lifelong meeting attender but that is not a requirement either. It is just another part of my recovery that is helping me so far.

Can't argue with that Mugz - hope it goes well for you.
Do you plan to get 100% clean, or is it just certain substances you want to avoid?

 

[third eye squeegee]

These small rural places seem to suck the life, energy and opportunity from everything though. Is horrid. Got no idea how I'll ever escape but it has to happen sometime. Is not good for a chap to be so cut-off from civilisation against his will.

When you're growin' up in a small town,
You know you'll grow down in a small town

 

[Mugz]

@Mugz Lovely post.

There's never any shame in seeking outside help when you can't handle something on your own. And it also seems like an obvious good thing to be trying to break out of the isolation that drug abuse can bring.

I've no personal experience of NA or other addiction/recovery groups, but I'll agree with others that the higher power thing and the "admit you have no control over your addiction" thing don't sit well with me. Everything you've said above though seem like good steps towards recovery. I hate the idea that a well intentioned brave move like this could wind up in you being a born again anti-drug cult member. I dunno if that'd be the worst thing for you though Thing is, you're such a stubborn sod that I don't worry about you getting culted. Other people's judgements and opinions seem to wash over you.

I'm rambling, I'll stop, just wanted to post my support.

Thanks for the support angel, there is do danger at all of be becoming a born again "Drugs are Bad" kinda person, I am not the kind to be culted as you say. It's just another way to share stories and meet new people who have been through similar situations, I've already made a couple new friends through it so it can't be all that bad.

Mugz: Are there not any non-12 Step addiction groups where you are? They have the same plus points of meeting up with people with similar issues to share experiences and support each other only without the brainwashing and zealotry and with far, far, far higher success rates. Worth looking into maybe. But whatever gets ya through the night and all that

Yes there is a great centre locally that is part of the NHS I think that has daily session of with different intentions, such as Breakfast Club - Never been yet but interested to go and find out if they give you free breakfast on the two days that they do this group, Art Group, Acupuncture, Goals for Recovery(2hour session), Getting started in recovery(2 hour session), "Thoughts and Feelings" and daily Open Access groups where you can talk to people without the need for a specified group. So I go to some of those too. I don't see the harm in attending two different ways to try and get my through recovery and back out the other side with something positive that isn't a big pile of drugs to look forward to.

The 2 hour session groups all have a 15 minute break halfway through so it doesn't feel so long. It's all been really helpful so far and helped me put my priorities and perspectives in order, has also allowed me to open up to my dad and have him open up slightly back in return which is great, as he is a big massive close book a lot of the time unless he is spouting someone else's spiel. All in all both options that I am taking at the moment are having a positive impact on my life and helping me to change from a drug addict who seemed to have no hope to someone that may just may be able to do something with the rest of this long life of his that is available.

Can't argue with that Mugz - hope it goes well for you.
Do you plan to get 100% clean, or is it just certain substances you want to avoid?

Thanks squeegee I'm not 100% certain yet, initially I am aiming for total abstinence from all drugs and hope to continue that for 2 or so year and then maybe after that I can start bringing something in for special occasion if I feel that I am ready to be able to do that without reverting to the mugs that has been on these boards for the last 9 years.

I just had a lovely warm bath, we just had a new power shower installed but I really felt like I needed a long bath today, gonna change these bed sheets, they have too many drug memories on them too, mentally and nasally I imagine.

 

[Shambles]

When you're growin' up in a small town,
You know you'll grow down in a small town

Hehe. that album, Squeegee. That song always did have a certain amount of resonance with me :D

And I thought I'd lived in small towns before moving here. Didn't think places like this actually existed outside of the Dark Age subsistence farming era 8(

Actually, this is a very long way from being small by local standards. Is bordering on being a hub of activity. All relative innit. And here is relatively shite :D

 

[Ceres]

once upon a freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee()

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

Sooo...linking the last few posts we have learned that non-abstinence based rehabs stuck in the middle of nowhere are probably the best bet. Oh, didn't mean to say bet, sorry.

Yeah we have more time to piss about on BL Shammy, but I like that. Not sure I'd like it so much if t'internet hadn't been invented though. But I'm glad I've got more time, and more beautiful views to look at while having the time, than have to spend hours sitting in traffic jams etc. And you don't find Westons at 1.50 in London.

I just find it interesting that this medium has given a voice to people who have never had one before in such a big way. And it's not just the rural. Another big demographic (I've used it once, why not continue being a wanker) on here is the anxiety-ridden or sociophobes.

The way we communicate is changing, vastly. So much now without face-to-face contact. The consequensces will be interesting to see.

EDIT That took ages and is no longer linking the last few posts. I'm fucked, leave me alone.

 

[Ceres]

yeah it's something I find fascinating myself, almost like a second age of enlightenment. Sociocultural group therapy.

 

[ColtDan]

I just find it interesting that this medium has given a voice to people who have never had one before in such a big way. And it's not just the rural. Another big demographic (I've used it once, why not continue being a wanker) on here is the anxiety-ridden or sociophobes.

The way we communicate is changing, vastly. So much now without face-to-face contact. The consequensces will be interesting to see.

Well said, interesting indeed

 

[Mugz]

It was really interesting to listen to people share from all around the world, from Ireland, the many states of the USA and as far away as New Zealand too. I don't necessarily think that these online support groups whether or not they are NA or any other *A group has all the member indoctrinated into the steps and the higher power and stuff, it's more about meeting and being able to share and listen to other peoples stories.

 

[Shambles]

I concur, SHM. Vaguely like how it might have been living in the immediate aftermath of Gutenberg, perhaps. Assuming you could read. And/or write. And could afford to buy books/pamphlets. Or had access to a press.

Mugz: If that's all 12 Step programmes were I'd have no problem with 'em. It ain't though. There's the other side. All the religious nutjobbery, brow-beating and guilt-tripping. There's very good reasons why they have a 2% success rate compared with 5% for no support and anything up to 50%+ in some secular, non-12 Step based programmes. The problem I have with 12 Steps is that it actively hurts most people's chances of changing their behavour. But if you're one of the 2% good luck to ya. You may well be. Worth a try anyway, I'm sure

 

[StoneHappyMonday]

I concur, SHM. Vaguely like how it might have been living in the immediate aftermath of Gutenberg, perhaps. Assuming you could read. And/or write. And could afford to buy books/pamphlets. Or had access to a press.

Vaguely? I'd say that's congruent with 21st century west Wales.

 

[curious_24]

sleep paralysis[/URL]. Is fairly common with or without dozy drugs but can certainly be brought on by said dozy drugs of any description. I've never had it in relation to Z-drugs as far as I recall. Very rarely take Z-drugs though as I really don't like 'em. Handy as an occasional one-off but more or less useless taken regularly. I do sometimes get sleep paralysis (complete with hypnagogic hallucinations usually) during spells of heavy GBL use though. Is a horrible sensation. Goes away when I stop taking geebee though and would assume the same will be the case for you when you stop taking Z-drugs.

Cheers for the insight Sham.

I've only taken 20 zopis in my entire lifetime so I doubt tolerance has come into play (last time was before Xmas). I'm a big bloke though and I've only got the shitty 3.75mg tabs so I'm thinking they're enough to sedate me a little, but not enough to actually knock me out (hence the sleep paralysis?).

I have however found they are amazing for anxiety/panic. I've never had a real benzo, so don't have a point of reference, but the anxiolytic effects easily equal a bottle of red (IMO, YMMV etc).

I think I'll save the rest and just use em for anxiety relief.

 

[Mailmonkey]

anyone want to sell me an amplifier? An old hifi one. Any brand.