BlindHelperMonkey
Bluelighter
mdb, To me manipulation means deceit and preying on weakness. Like, you can manipulate a sexual partner into sex, by pushing the right buttons at the right time. But that's pretty devious behaviour. On the other hand, if you pick up on the fact your partner is a bit frisky, there is no manipulation involved in flirting a bit, kissing tenderly and one thing leading to another. I don't think that is manipulation.
Why am I using sex as my example for manipulation?I hope I am too aware of my own failings to practise such behaviour these days.
And I don't think "refusing to please people" is some sort of high moral goal. Pleasing people is a natural human behaviour (one amongst many less noble). It does not have to be deceitful.
that is an arbitrary distinction. is the wife who cooks her husband a nice meal to get him to take her shopping devious? or the guy that slinks up behind his girl doing the dishes, knowing her neck is exceptionally sensitive, and kissing up and down it to put her in the mood - is he devious also?
absolutely ridiculous. i agree some things are wrong by consensus, but it is by nature a relative and subjective delineation

I like to think my ideas on this stuff are a bit better formed than Brand's, though.
never say never though.