I wanted to start a thread like this...I guess I can just wake this one up
I've only just started to wake up to the truth of how people play games with yourself, and your thoughts and feelings.
There's a book by that title, but I haven't read it, so anyone that has might be able to give me some good responses.
I'd like to start a thread about some of the really specific ('tactical') shit people do to play other people, that you guys have become aware of. But I did a search and found this thread, so I'll post it here.
I've just recently become very aware of the 'But you only had to apologise and I wouldn't have gotten upset' fucking game. It's what people say to you after you finally, and truthfully, decide to stand your own ground and not budge. The aggressor realises that pushing you back won't work anymore...but more than that. They realise that ARE wrong. This is important. Because they do actually have a sense of how far wrong they are. And so they just say, 'Look, all you needed to do was apologise, and I wouldn't have been cool.' And often, following that statement, they start ranting about respect and how other people are always pissing them off and not apologising. But back to that later. I made the stupid mistake first time, because I was scared and intimidated, of apologising. Don't. If you can avoid it, don't do it. They know that they've just been fucked because you took you're stand, all they're power has been based on a fucking lie up till then, and getting you to apologise is just a way of salvaging some 'position'. The fact of the matter was, I said something very inconsequential, and did not intend for it, nor knew that it would piss him off, and instead of simply saying (declaring simply), 'look mate, what you said pissed me off', he launched into a broad-stroke fucking attack on me. And then these assholes have the nerve to talk about respect. Fuck you that has to be earned.
Anyway, I hope some people here read this and feel and as pissed off as I do, and realise that no matter how much some son of a bitch passionately raves about respect and understanding, after they've just tried to scare the shit out of you, or hold something over you, it's a fucking game, it has rules, it has a pattern, it has a pathology, and it has nothing to do with understanding, respect or anything else. Keep your wits, and keep a good journal in your head of all this shit, it becomes obvious.