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For those who have cheated - Why did you?

I cheated a couple times in one relatiosnhip.

I was 17 and had really low selfesteem. I found an amazing guy and we dated for like 3 years. So I was 19 and cracks started to form in our relationship. I had lost my virginity to him and I guess I was curious as to what other guys were like in bed and I figured your only young for a short period of time. So I kissed another guy when I was at a party and my b/f wasn't there. I told him what I had done the next day and he forgave me straight away and said he understood why I did it. Well then I wen't nuts hey and kissed like 6 other guys within 3 months. I told him everytime and he got upset but understood. I think he was hoping it was a phase and i'd grow out of it. I ended up breaking up with him after that and then wen't really nuts. I regret it though he his still the most sweetest, greatest guy ive ever know.
 
It kinda of worries me out how many people have cheated:\

I dont mean to sound judgmental tho! :) im well aware cheating happens under many different circumstances.. Each to their own..

But i just know i could never cheat.. Everyone say's given the opportunity you would & i actually have had a few opportunities, the thought made me sick..
Its just if i like someone, yet alone love them i honestly do not become attracted to anyone else.. im also a terrible lier so id have to blurt it out IF i ever did..

I hate knowing that i could one day be cheated on. And even worse never know about it.. I dont think there would be a worse feeling in the world:(

*slowly backs away from thread im not meant to be in*:o
 
Most people do cheat at some point in their lives, I think. It's kind of scary thinking that my bf could cheat on me (although I highly doubt it, he's not the type, and I definitely know the type), but at the same time, it's not the worst thing that he could do. Well, unless it was unprotected sex and he was putting my health at risk, I'd never forgive that. But otherwise, I think people make it into a bigger thing than it is, seeing as how humans just don't seem to be 100% monogamous creatures by nature. I'm not saying it's fine to do it, just that there are many worse forms of betrayal.

Still, having said that - it still fucking hurts when it happens.
 
I no longer cheat, its not worth the effort anymore.....the hiding, lying, etc.

But when I did, it wasnt about better or that she was prettier like most woman think. When I think about it, I believe it was about something different...variety if you will. Most of the time, the girl that I was cheating on was far superior in every way to the girl that I was doing the cheating with.

Who knows, maybe deep down this was my way to make up for the fact that my mom didnt give me enough attention as a child so I tried to make up for it by seeking the affection of all those willing.........???
 
as i am currently in an open relationship of sorts, there is very little that i can do that would be considered cheating, but yes, i have. the reason for it, and the same reasons go for a the few times i have done it in the past: i made a deliberate decision to do something that I personally wanted to do.

i'm not proud of it, but i will not lie about it.

and yes, i eventually told my mate. it wasnt easy for us to recover from, but we did.


for me it is about attention and control. i crave both. what satisfies the need for attention and control more than making a decision to cross a line?
 
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drugfukkdrockstar said:
Cheaters ONLY please!

Hmph!
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Sorry, I just gotta get in here and say that I cant even understand why someone would want to cheat, even if they no longer like their 'significant other' they at least owe it to them to break the relationship up formally.
 
Yea, well I can't lie, I kinda didn't do that with this girl I was talking to. She turned out to be pretty insane. Like for example, I didn't call her for a week, and she slit her throat, and shes obsessed with cutting herself and hurting herself. And like last week I was on the phone with her and I guess she stole the calamine lotion and was going to drink it so she could go to another mental hospital. she's obsessed with those things. So I just don't pick up or call her anymore. I fear that if I told her i wanted to break up with her she would try to kill herself, but I guess doing this is just torturing her. I don't know how to say it to her though, I feel bad ya know, she has a lot of problems she has to deal with, she's a great person though...she just has to learn how to cope with her problems in better ways than taking a razor to her forearm or something.

So exarkann, it definitely is easier said than done.
 
I was with my bf for 3 years..the relationship had gotten really bad and we'd just grown apart and were arguing all the time..he thought id cheated on him a billion times and i never had!..but i met up with a guy id been talking to just to kinda see what it would be like i suppose...we got on really great..we kinda got together that night and i decided i wanted to break up with my bf anyway so the next day i broke up with him...i dont think thats quite as deceptive and wrong as cheating on someone behind their back and then trying to still continue the relationship..but its still not right i suppose..even though he treated me like complete shit. Anyway yeah thats the only time ive done it and it probably was for attention and the fact that our sex life was almost nonexistant by the end.
 
xdirty_epicx said:
I was with my bf for 3 years..the relationship had gotten really bad and we'd just grown apart and were arguing all the time..he thought id cheated on him a billion times and i never had!..but i met up with a guy id been talking to just to kinda see what it would be like i suppose...we got on really great..we kinda got together that night and i decided i wanted to break up with my bf anyway so the next day i broke up with him...i dont think thats quite as deceptive and wrong as cheating on someone behind their back and then trying to still continue the relationship..but its still not right i suppose..even though he treated me like complete shit. Anyway yeah thats the only time ive done it and it probably was for attention and the fact that our sex life was almost nonexistant by the end.
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Yeah, since you were planning on ending the relationship and you didn't use him for things while you were seeing another guy on the side, this isn't so bad. Although I guess it can be considered wrong. I wouldn't look down upon you for it. I look down on the ones that hide it for months and cheat with multiple people and then when they get caught are like 'aww come on baby you know how much I love you, give me another chance'
 
Thought I would reply to this as most people who seem to have replied, are no longer in their original relationship.

I've been with my bf 8 years now and stupidly cheated on him about 3 years ago.

Why did I cheat on him?
Maybe curiosity, maybe because I knew I shouldn't, maybe because the guy made it so obvious he wanted to sleep with me and I was flattered.
I was also going through a very selfish 'headonistic' period in my life, where I had the attitude of "if it feels good, do it and fuck the consequences".

It was really only when the guys gf caught us kissing and I saw the look on her face, that I realised what an idiot I had been. It dawned on me what a complete bitch I had been to my bf (perhaps I'd been in denial until then) and I knew I had to tell him. He of course was incredibly hurt and upset, but more so for me not telling him sooner.

I did love him when I cheated on him, I didn't want to leave him and they guy knew that I would never leave my bf, but I guess I didn't really realise how hurt he would be, and knowing how much it hurt him, completly killed me. It wasn't the actual act but the betrayel of trust that was so painful for him.

Although I still feel like a complete idiot/bitch/retard/cow for doing what I did and still feel guilty about it (although my bf has completly forgiven me and trusts me), I think we are actually stronger because of what happened.
Firstly the friendship with this guy was probably not healthy for our relationship, due to the fact that he had strong feelings for me. I now realise that he wasn't such a great friend and all the lovely things he had said/done over the years was just an attempt to get into my pants.
It also forced us to sit down and talk through some difficult issues that we had been avoiding talking about until then and we now communicate alot better.

So I just wanted to say that relationships can recover from someone cheating. We're happier, closer, and more communicative than before and we trust eachother totally.


I know and he knows I would NEVER EVER do anything like that to him again and it wouldn't even enter my mind that he would do it to me.


So yes you can love someone and cheat on them.
A cheater will not always cheat again.
Trust can be rebuilt.
Reltationships can recover from cheating and even grow stronger.
 
glitterbizkit said:
Contrary to popular opinion, I think that goes for a lot of women too from what I've observed. I think a lot of the time it's mostly about just being bored and wanting something new, but I think many women tend to try to rationalise this by bringing emotional factors into the equation, e.g. feeling unloved, lack of communication in relationship, seeking attention. I'm definitely not saying that all women that cheat are doing it because they're bored, it's just that men are more likely to admit that they did it out of boredom, because it's seen as more of a "male thing" to sow wild oats, whereas women tend to look for other excuses because women are "supposed" to act on emotions rather than physical urges.
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Just to follow on as such, I heard a theory once that women cheat because they are looking for the father of there chilldren (ir the sperm doner) where as the guy she is looking to date/ marrie is more sutable for looking after the kids. At the time this made sence to me cos during school/collage all the girls liked the "cool kids" who whould pass on the "cool genes" but later in life its us geeks that get more of a look in as we are better father figures. if that makes sence.

To the origanal post... I have never cheeted on a partner but i did cheet with my mates partner. Her parents had just split, and as mine had years befor hand I offered her support. We had always had a connection between us and things with her bf/ my mate wheren't great. Nor was my friendship with him, so cheeting with his misses was no skin off my nose. I would never cheet on a partner though! Be single with fuck buddies or be commited! Thats MO.
 
ScattyD said:
To the origanal post... I have never cheeted on a partner but i did cheet with my mates partner. Her parents had just split, and as mine had years befor hand I offered her support. We had always had a connection between us and things with her bf/ my mate wheren't great. Nor was my friendship with him, so cheeting with his misses was no skin off my nose. I would never cheet on a partner though! Be single with fuck buddies or be commited! Thats MO.
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In my opinion, fucking your mates girlfriend is right at the top of the list for things you should never do. I'm not saying cheating is not awful and completely wrong, but fucking over a mate is treason.

My mate did that and of course now he's not my mate. I've never been angrier in my life and if it ever happened again I'd hate to think what I'd do.:X
 
I've never had any excuses for it. I've done it because I wanted to and had the ability. As I've gotten a little older I just haven't found any desire to do so anymore.
 
You know what, I cheated on an ex-girlfriend of mine after being cheated on by my former girlfriend. Kind of a sick way of getting back at her only with someone else. I realized I was being a scumbag and it hurt to realize that I was a hypocrite. Never done it since and never will again. To every one in this thread who says they don't want to judge, fuck that. There needs to be moral standards. To everyone who tries to justify and rationalize it by saying it's complicated or whatever, that no one is in your shoes, let me hit you up with some reality. You're all a bunch os selfish, lying, worthless people who only care about getting your nut off. The women are the biggest offenders, trying to pass off all these reasons of neglect, problems in the relationship, wharever. At least the men admit to being selfish assholes. So fuck everybody who cheats because you'er a coward, and that is why you did it. Period. There you've been judged. Remember, no one gets away with anything. So grow up and take responsibility for your actions, children. Why did you cheat, because you wanted to. Wake up morons.
 
A sub conscious natural instinct to reproduce as much as possible before I die.
 
lurkerguy said:
A sub conscious natural instinct to reproduce as much as possible before I die.
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Thats not as dumb as it sounds. This is what many animals do. I'm sure if we didn't have the ability to reason then we would all be doing the same thing. Hmm.... I wish I lived in cavemen times and I could freely fuck as many different and varied women as I could physically muster.

Yip. I'm a bloke and I'm an arsehole.:p
 
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