Lubes come in many different varieties, but broadly speaking they exist in three different categories
- waterbased (aqueous)
- petroleum or vegetable oil based
- silicon oil based.
water based are the safest in terms of toys and condoms. The main problem is that they dry up quickly. Some are better than others. KY for example is widely used but fairly useless.
Sensilube is good and there are many different brands available. You need to experiment. The special case among these lubes is J-Lube, which is a powder you mix with water to create a very slippery mixture. It is very cheap.
- petroleum or vegetable oil based: vaseline is the traditional stand by, but it makes a heavy coating and some find it reduces sensation and like all the lubes in this category it rots condoms.
some of the formulations are quite effective lubes though, in the gay community Crisco is a popular option.
- for occasional use I favour silicon oil. It is warm to the touch, has no odour and does not affect condoms. Expensive but a small amount goes a long way. It does not dry quickly. Look for Pjur, Eros, Swiss Navy, Gun Oil.
The main disadvantage of silicon oil is that it will make stains on bed linen.