Not_A_Drug_Addict
Bluelighter
So my bf and I have been kinda wanting to do this, we have lube and everything. Do any of you have any tips or advice about warming up to it or getting use to it? (Positions and whatever other info)
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
First time anal tips?
- Thread starter Not_A_Drug_Addict
- Start date
Markomarkh
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2013
- Messages
- 510
Never tried it, but hear you gotta Take it slowly, you can't hump a bum like a vagina unless your a loose pornstar.
Markomarkh
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2013
- Messages
- 510
Another thing it's not natural and cause bleeding sometimes and if you believe in religion it's a no no and sodomising your self.
pofacedhoe
Bluelight Crew
? explain^
oh_yeah
Bluelighter
Here we go. Religion vs tolerance. Fortunately, many religions are realising that anal sex, as seen in fellow primates, is perfectly natural - same sex and heterosexual. But then I guess there are those religions that don't believe in evolution, and that animals might have similar physical needs/ experiences across species as a natural part through distant ancestry, which may I add, covers a million more things than just sexual preference. Whilst I respect peoples right to practice religion and follow religious doctines, I am wholly against the discrimination of others as a result. I would hope that this site would be wholly against such discrimination also.
dopemaster
Bluelight Crew
Right so on topic here. I am a straight man and I have had anal sex with some women over the years so I can tell you a bit from my perspective.
First off I never want anyone to do something they don't want to sexually even if they feel like they are doing it for me so often times it is an awkward subject to bring up because I really don't like it if a woman doesn't enjoy it but does it anyways because they think that is what I want because that isn't it.
So anal is by no means a prerequisite for having a sexual relationship with me. I have found that if a woman isn't into it you will notice because it feels quite different physically even if you are too daft to see that your partner is not into it.
The first go I had at it was a woman who was very into it. She had mentioned she liked it and if wanted to go ahead when we were having sex so I did.
I did use a condom and I really recommend that. You really don't want to have to go through the hassle of cleaning that much afterwards but I always took a shower afterwards.
Take a pregame dump. It's not really the best feeling to make contact with fecal matter and it happens sometimes but 9/10 times there is no feces involved.
You might as well put a towel down on your bed you know just in case. I haven't personally witnessed a woman shit the bed but it does happen.
Lube, its a good idea. Go in slow. I always found the best way to go in was with the woman laying down and her legs together more or less and to be on top with my legs around and on my knees. You can ease in very slow in that position and gravity helps.
Communication is important. It might not feel that great going in from the feedback I have gotten. It is very important to go in slow so your partner does not get hurt.
For the love of God if you partner asks you to stop you should stop. I get it's frustrating but if someone doesn't enjoy it well to continue is basically rape because they can't really push you off at that point.
So some trust is key and might want to have a safety word and "stop" isn't the worst one but I have had a woman say to stop and she just meant to hold up a minute. I probably should say to not pull out very fast either.
Hygeine is very important. You do not want to go from anal to vaginal. That happened once accidentally and it wasn't anyone's fault but my gal ended up with a yeast infection or something and it wasn't a big deal but she did have to go to the doctor and she said it was a bit embarrassing.
Right so from my experience once you are inside it is nothing like porno videos. I am not circumsised so there isn't much friction because the anus would kinda hold my penis in place and I would have a good amount of room to in and out without much sliding around because its a rather tight fit. I am not sure how to explain that.
I only had one maybe two women decide they didn't want to do it after starting. We didn't get very far and most women say the tip is the hardest part intially buut everyone is different so I honestly can't tell you what its like to receive anal because I haven't and I think for some people it is very pleasurable and others quite the opposite.
It does feel good. I had one gf who said she was into it but wasn't and she felt inadequate because she felt like she couldn't give me something she felt I needed which was not the case.
I did have a chick flip out after wanting to give it a god and I didn't even put it in before she started hollering how much she no longer wanted to. She call me a faggot and a queer. She got over it but occasionally would bring it up and well she was a bitch anyways.
So rarely has it ruined a relationship. The women who felt inadequate about the act, well she felt inadequate about many things and the women who valled me a faggot for doing a sex act she requested well she was a fucking bitch in other aspects of the relationship so that was the least of her bullshit.
I found one women really got off on it because it hit her Gspot very well. The first women I did it with never explained how it got her off but she came and I know she did because she was a squirter and she asked me to do it.
I really want people to understand that I don't enjoy doing a sex act my partner doesn't want to or one I don't want to. It's not really a big deal to me if a woman does not want to. I don't think less of the sex we have or secretly wish she would, I don't think I could say the same about getting a blowjob.
It can be very intimate as you find yourself very deep inside someone physically and it they are getting off that is pretty good sex.
I did notice very fast with the woman who didn't like it but insisted she did and finally I just called her out multiple times and she explained how inadequate she felt but it was far beyond that as we had beem together a long time and things just were not working out and she felt like adding that to the thing would help. I am sharing this so people understand it is not cool to pressure someone into the act but she pressured herself into it in this case.
Before anyone talks shit to me for this post. I never pressured a woman into anal sex and I always stopped if she asked me to.
So the other thing to mention is people might find out for some reason or another and they might judge uou.
I did have a gf who was a bit unstable and a drug addict and for some God forsaken reason she went and told my mother and showed my mother her anus and my mother laughed because I said "yo you asked me to do that" and it was awkward but basically she wanted drugs and thought I would care if she told my family. Well I didn't care and she didn't get any drugs but some people's family's might pass some judgement.
Sometimes people talk about it to someone they trust and it gets out there. I personally don't talk about my sex life except to someone who won't say anything but I only have one friend like that irl but I feel fine talking about it online.
Anyways every person said it wasn't pleasant going in their first couple times but once you are in its a different feeling and you will know really quick if you like anal or not.
Just don't do it because you saw it in a porno. Don't let it mess up a relationship. Don't do it with someone who is insane either. Don't talk about a tavboo subject irl and expect it to remain private.
First off I never want anyone to do something they don't want to sexually even if they feel like they are doing it for me so often times it is an awkward subject to bring up because I really don't like it if a woman doesn't enjoy it but does it anyways because they think that is what I want because that isn't it.
So anal is by no means a prerequisite for having a sexual relationship with me. I have found that if a woman isn't into it you will notice because it feels quite different physically even if you are too daft to see that your partner is not into it.
The first go I had at it was a woman who was very into it. She had mentioned she liked it and if wanted to go ahead when we were having sex so I did.
I did use a condom and I really recommend that. You really don't want to have to go through the hassle of cleaning that much afterwards but I always took a shower afterwards.
Take a pregame dump. It's not really the best feeling to make contact with fecal matter and it happens sometimes but 9/10 times there is no feces involved.
You might as well put a towel down on your bed you know just in case. I haven't personally witnessed a woman shit the bed but it does happen.
Lube, its a good idea. Go in slow. I always found the best way to go in was with the woman laying down and her legs together more or less and to be on top with my legs around and on my knees. You can ease in very slow in that position and gravity helps.
Communication is important. It might not feel that great going in from the feedback I have gotten. It is very important to go in slow so your partner does not get hurt.
For the love of God if you partner asks you to stop you should stop. I get it's frustrating but if someone doesn't enjoy it well to continue is basically rape because they can't really push you off at that point.
So some trust is key and might want to have a safety word and "stop" isn't the worst one but I have had a woman say to stop and she just meant to hold up a minute. I probably should say to not pull out very fast either.
Hygeine is very important. You do not want to go from anal to vaginal. That happened once accidentally and it wasn't anyone's fault but my gal ended up with a yeast infection or something and it wasn't a big deal but she did have to go to the doctor and she said it was a bit embarrassing.
Right so from my experience once you are inside it is nothing like porno videos. I am not circumsised so there isn't much friction because the anus would kinda hold my penis in place and I would have a good amount of room to in and out without much sliding around because its a rather tight fit. I am not sure how to explain that.
I only had one maybe two women decide they didn't want to do it after starting. We didn't get very far and most women say the tip is the hardest part intially buut everyone is different so I honestly can't tell you what its like to receive anal because I haven't and I think for some people it is very pleasurable and others quite the opposite.
It does feel good. I had one gf who said she was into it but wasn't and she felt inadequate because she felt like she couldn't give me something she felt I needed which was not the case.
I did have a chick flip out after wanting to give it a god and I didn't even put it in before she started hollering how much she no longer wanted to. She call me a faggot and a queer. She got over it but occasionally would bring it up and well she was a bitch anyways.
So rarely has it ruined a relationship. The women who felt inadequate about the act, well she felt inadequate about many things and the women who valled me a faggot for doing a sex act she requested well she was a fucking bitch in other aspects of the relationship so that was the least of her bullshit.
I found one women really got off on it because it hit her Gspot very well. The first women I did it with never explained how it got her off but she came and I know she did because she was a squirter and she asked me to do it.
I really want people to understand that I don't enjoy doing a sex act my partner doesn't want to or one I don't want to. It's not really a big deal to me if a woman does not want to. I don't think less of the sex we have or secretly wish she would, I don't think I could say the same about getting a blowjob.
It can be very intimate as you find yourself very deep inside someone physically and it they are getting off that is pretty good sex.
I did notice very fast with the woman who didn't like it but insisted she did and finally I just called her out multiple times and she explained how inadequate she felt but it was far beyond that as we had beem together a long time and things just were not working out and she felt like adding that to the thing would help. I am sharing this so people understand it is not cool to pressure someone into the act but she pressured herself into it in this case.
Before anyone talks shit to me for this post. I never pressured a woman into anal sex and I always stopped if she asked me to.
So the other thing to mention is people might find out for some reason or another and they might judge uou.
I did have a gf who was a bit unstable and a drug addict and for some God forsaken reason she went and told my mother and showed my mother her anus and my mother laughed because I said "yo you asked me to do that" and it was awkward but basically she wanted drugs and thought I would care if she told my family. Well I didn't care and she didn't get any drugs but some people's family's might pass some judgement.
Sometimes people talk about it to someone they trust and it gets out there. I personally don't talk about my sex life except to someone who won't say anything but I only have one friend like that irl but I feel fine talking about it online.
Anyways every person said it wasn't pleasant going in their first couple times but once you are in its a different feeling and you will know really quick if you like anal or not.
Just don't do it because you saw it in a porno. Don't let it mess up a relationship. Don't do it with someone who is insane either. Don't talk about a tavboo subject irl and expect it to remain private.
augustaB
Bluelighter
hi Not_A_Drug_Addict
I'm a bisexual male of over 70 years. I first received anal sex when I was 17 and first gave it around that time.
Males tend to fantasize about anal.
A bumhole feels rather different than a vagina It's tight on the outside and less wet and slippy on the inside.
That said, how to get ready?
My advice is to practice with a dildo before.
Doc Johnson sells a 12" double-headed dong for about 12 dollars. It's plain pink rubber about 1" thick and quite flexible.
Before trying to push something inside, use the toilet and perhaps give yourself an anal douche (I always do)
Go and lie on your bed with your pillows supporting your upper body.
Feel your anus with your fingers and rub some of your lube into it.
For best results you need to put some lube inside. The best way to do this is with a "lube shooter" (available in a variety of colours from Amazon)
After squirting some lube inside, try pushing the tip of the dildo into your bum.
This dildo is about the same size as a poo so it should go in.
If you experience stinging pain, withdraw the dildo put a little more lube on the dildo and your bum and try again.
The best way to make your bumhole relax is to push down as if you were going to the toilet (having a poo)
It should slip in fairly easily.
Once inside any pain will dissipate fairly quickly. If you masturbate at the same time you will relax and that helps as well.
Afterwards trying pushing it deeper into your butt.
At first the dildo will not go very far in and it will feel as if there's some sort of blockage.
Try and practice with your dildo every day until you are confident about putting it in.
After sustained practice (and masturbating) you will probably notice that the dildo will start going in deeper.
When you reach this stage you can probably handle a normal penis with ease.
If you keep practicing and learn to enjoy it, you might be able to push the dildo entirely inside.
If you are using the double dong I suggest above this is OK as the rounded head at the end will come out easily.
But if you are using a flat-bottomed dildo or a vibrator it will not come easily at all and you will have go to E.R.
Enjoy exploring xxx
I'm a bisexual male of over 70 years. I first received anal sex when I was 17 and first gave it around that time.
Males tend to fantasize about anal.
A bumhole feels rather different than a vagina It's tight on the outside and less wet and slippy on the inside.
That said, how to get ready?
My advice is to practice with a dildo before.
Doc Johnson sells a 12" double-headed dong for about 12 dollars. It's plain pink rubber about 1" thick and quite flexible.
Before trying to push something inside, use the toilet and perhaps give yourself an anal douche (I always do)
Go and lie on your bed with your pillows supporting your upper body.
Feel your anus with your fingers and rub some of your lube into it.
For best results you need to put some lube inside. The best way to do this is with a "lube shooter" (available in a variety of colours from Amazon)
After squirting some lube inside, try pushing the tip of the dildo into your bum.
This dildo is about the same size as a poo so it should go in.
If you experience stinging pain, withdraw the dildo put a little more lube on the dildo and your bum and try again.
The best way to make your bumhole relax is to push down as if you were going to the toilet (having a poo)
It should slip in fairly easily.
Once inside any pain will dissipate fairly quickly. If you masturbate at the same time you will relax and that helps as well.
Afterwards trying pushing it deeper into your butt.
At first the dildo will not go very far in and it will feel as if there's some sort of blockage.
Try and practice with your dildo every day until you are confident about putting it in.
After sustained practice (and masturbating) you will probably notice that the dildo will start going in deeper.
When you reach this stage you can probably handle a normal penis with ease.
If you keep practicing and learn to enjoy it, you might be able to push the dildo entirely inside.
If you are using the double dong I suggest above this is OK as the rounded head at the end will come out easily.
But if you are using a flat-bottomed dildo or a vibrator it will not come easily at all and you will have go to E.R.
Enjoy exploring xxx
Damn your over 70 years old you still get around like your in your twenties.
Anyway, I use a enema then oil. Or in the shower I just use a dildo first .
You dont need much water for enema both dildo and the small volume enema basically do thebsame thing it srimulatesbtgevreceptrsbcausing contractions so you have a bowel movement if your going to.
Anyway, I use a enema then oil. Or in the shower I just use a dildo first .
You dont need much water for enema both dildo and the small volume enema basically do thebsame thing it srimulatesbtgevreceptrsbcausing contractions so you have a bowel movement if your going to.
You can get a lube that numbs the pain on the anus...just google it...I thought i'd get it for the ex when we first tried it. I didn't like it & she was in a lot of pain. I dont think its natural we both didn't enjoy it...wouldnt rule it out with my next partner though.
augustaB
Bluelighter
Yes this stuff is pushed by the sex industry. Stupid really, what's the point? Anal sex feels nice when done properly and who wants to have a numb bum? Moreover if it numbs the bum it will also numb the gun.
Waste of time. Learn to relax and have more fun.
I never looked it at like that. I guess personally for me it's something I didn't enjoy.
trunkofmycar
Bluelighter
I think it's only fun for a woman if you get into it slow & sorta massage the sphincter open with your fingers first, first one, two,very slowly asit loosens a little add a third. She has to be csuper relaxed BC nervousness will inhibit anal sometimes, muscles get tight w/ anxiety. Trust is always vital. Good luck.
I love it alot however part of my might be I have severe stomach issues and pain so I think I associated sensations with sexual arousal because when I feel the stomach and I'm bed basically trying not to cry I have sexual dysfunction also. And actually I can have a orgasm just from pressure on the prostate. I guess to me it feels good like really really good because it's more of a like brief discomfort followed by relaxation and the more progressively relaxed you get the muscles the better you feel even after. It's like feeling like jello almost like a deep tissue massage when it hurts your back but after you feel like niceee.
Lol sorry I'm rambling I'm getting nostoligc from when my stomach wasnt in extreme pain.
Basically, use a enema I just use a water bottle but a 4 oz fleet enema is fine but throw out the sodium phosphate 30 g solution it can damage your inside's and hurts basically it breaks up the poop by dissociating into naoh and phosphoric acid which break up the poop into smaller prices but at the cost of irritating the cell walls. All you want to do is irrigate any trace fecael matter so I just use a 0.9 ℅ saline (just a tsp of salt in 500 ml of water )
Then use lube
Glycerol and oils that's are liquid at room temperature. Are the . Most lubricating but also quickly leave and make a mess
Short chain fatty acid esters like coconut oil are somewhere between petroleum and the first group
Petroleum jelly is the most stable but also high amounts might cause blockages maybe?
Methanol lidocaine ethanol I just find makes it hurt more because it feels unnatural if that makes sense.
Lol sorry I'm rambling I'm getting nostoligc from when my stomach wasnt in extreme pain.
Basically, use a enema I just use a water bottle but a 4 oz fleet enema is fine but throw out the sodium phosphate 30 g solution it can damage your inside's and hurts basically it breaks up the poop by dissociating into naoh and phosphoric acid which break up the poop into smaller prices but at the cost of irritating the cell walls. All you want to do is irrigate any trace fecael matter so I just use a 0.9 ℅ saline (just a tsp of salt in 500 ml of water )
Then use lube
Glycerol and oils that's are liquid at room temperature. Are the . Most lubricating but also quickly leave and make a mess
Short chain fatty acid esters like coconut oil are somewhere between petroleum and the first group
Petroleum jelly is the most stable but also high amounts might cause blockages maybe?
Methanol lidocaine ethanol I just find makes it hurt more because it feels unnatural if that makes sense.
augustaB
Bluelighter
Lubes come in many different varieties, but broadly speaking they exist in three different categories
- waterbased (aqueous)
- petroleum or vegetable oil based
- silicon oil based.
water based are the safest in terms of toys and condoms. The main problem is that they dry up quickly. Some are better than others. KY for example is widely used but fairly useless.
Sensilube is good and there are many different brands available. You need to experiment. The special case among these lubes is J-Lube, which is a powder you mix with water to create a very slippery mixture. It is very cheap.
- petroleum or vegetable oil based: vaseline is the traditional stand by, but it makes a heavy coating and some find it reduces sensation and like all the lubes in this category it rots condoms.
some of the formulations are quite effective lubes though, in the gay community Crisco is a popular option.
- for occasional use I favour silicon oil. It is warm to the touch, has no odour and does not affect condoms. Expensive but a small amount goes a long way. It does not dry quickly. Look for Pjur, Eros, Swiss Navy, Gun Oil.
The main disadvantage of silicon oil is that it will make stains on bed linen.
- waterbased (aqueous)
- petroleum or vegetable oil based
- silicon oil based.
water based are the safest in terms of toys and condoms. The main problem is that they dry up quickly. Some are better than others. KY for example is widely used but fairly useless.
Sensilube is good and there are many different brands available. You need to experiment. The special case among these lubes is J-Lube, which is a powder you mix with water to create a very slippery mixture. It is very cheap.
- petroleum or vegetable oil based: vaseline is the traditional stand by, but it makes a heavy coating and some find it reduces sensation and like all the lubes in this category it rots condoms.
some of the formulations are quite effective lubes though, in the gay community Crisco is a popular option.
- for occasional use I favour silicon oil. It is warm to the touch, has no odour and does not affect condoms. Expensive but a small amount goes a long way. It does not dry quickly. Look for Pjur, Eros, Swiss Navy, Gun Oil.
The main disadvantage of silicon oil is that it will make stains on bed linen.
dicko89
Bluelighter
doggy style is much easier for a start it will be a tight squeeze but it soon opens up afta a while and plenty of lube...i did it with 2 so called lesbians ohh what a nite
SillypantsJackson
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 9, 2017
- Messages
- 2
Here are the best tips ever for anal with an amazing story to go along! http://brokeassstuart.com/blog/2017/03/09/anal-sex-how-to-get-it-right-even-if-its-tight/
"So, this guy jumps in the shower. Thinking:
“WHAT IN THE HELL AM I GONNA DO WITH THE GIRL PASSED OUT, IN MY BED, COVERED IN POOP?”
What anyone does with a drunk passed out girl. He gets out of the shower. Rolls her up in his comforter. Drags her outside. Throws her clothes on top of her. Shuts the door. Locks it. Calls the cops and says some homeless lady is sleeping in front of his door.'
Dude wtf kinda link are you you giving me lmao
“WHAT IN THE HELL AM I GONNA DO WITH THE GIRL PASSED OUT, IN MY BED, COVERED IN POOP?”
What anyone does with a drunk passed out girl. He gets out of the shower. Rolls her up in his comforter. Drags her outside. Throws her clothes on top of her. Shuts the door. Locks it. Calls the cops and says some homeless lady is sleeping in front of his door.'
Dude wtf kinda link are you you giving me lmao
iLoveYouWithaKnife
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 30, 2002
- Messages
- 8,351
I was going to say the same thing, but with a comment like this:
I just decided to stfu.
augustaB
Bluelighter
Some girls find it easier if you let them straddle you and sit on your cock.
That way they can control the entry.
Doggy fashion works too but then it's best when she/he is very relaxed. Ideally two cushions under the hips and the knees drawn up on each side of the body will automatically relax the hole.
That way they can control the entry.
Doggy fashion works too but then it's best when she/he is very relaxed. Ideally two cushions under the hips and the knees drawn up on each side of the body will automatically relax the hole.