FunkyAlfonzo said:
Any reasons for that?
I was really pleasantly surprised, it's not often that I enjoy a big budget blockbuster movie that much. Really seemed to capture the enormity of what was supposed to be happening while still giving a really personal experience
/rant
...well first off, I've been enjoying the shit out of some big budget shit blowing up lately, so I don't think this is a problem with my nose being stuck up too high. The only personal problem I might bring to the table was that I was pretty psyched to see a film that devoted most of its time to watching the wheels fall off society. Generally, it doesn't matter how bad a movie is, if zombies, asteroids, dinosaurs, russians, or any other nasty thing cause normal people to start running around stealing cars and waving firearms, I'm leaving the theater with a big warm erection.
I wasn't even to the multiplex urinal before I shifted from disappointment to anger, and this flick had plenty of freaking out (maybe a little too much, Dakota, you fucking cunt. Hide and Seek sucked too.).
Look at the difference between close encounters of the third kind and this remake. Close encounters is by its nature atmospheric, mysterious, and kind of spooky, while War of the Worlds is pretty much a balls to the wall CG-explosion right up until the credits. They can't be the same film, but I had no interest in Tom Cruise as a character, nothing but contempt for the son, and I've already spoken about the daughter. Disaster movies create drama out of our concern for the characters, and War of the Worlds paid absolutely no attention to any of them. Don't tell me "well, you just have to guess about a character's motivation". There wasn't any time where I was allowed to ponder, after all. People were always running away from something, towards something, or shouting one of the like 80 lines of diolouge.
WOTW missed the mark as a disaster/everything is different now 'cause of the aliens film, but it absolutely self-immolated as a science fiction story.
****SPOILERS AND BITCHING FOLLOW****
Aliens (which appear to have been cobbled together from Independence Day, which in turn were a poor iteration of the good old Gieger "wet-bug-crab-monster" archetype) travel across the galaxy (maybe even the universe) a hundred million years ago, leave shit behind to exterminate anything that happens to show up later (the did a great job of hiding it too, we never found one single tripod, despite a hundred million years of erosion and subway construction, go back home, then come back and do very well with the whole "destroy humans" objective. Maybe they should have remembered to pack their space suits. This isn't a high-tech thing guys. What do humans do when we face negative environmental factors? We wear coats, sunscreen, kevlar vests, scuba masks, space suits, et cetera. At what point did the aliens evolve beyond the point of common sense? I don't go out to check the mail without sun glasses on, you'd better believe I would have my shit in order before I whizzed across time and space to colonize a planet.
The tripods were neat to look at, and they were certainly menacing, but there were problems. What alien civilization can develop a force field capable of deflecting a missile barrage from a swarm of helicopter gunships, but still has trouble seeing in the dark, and is more interested and baffled by its own reflection than most birds in pet stores. I guess they forgot to add a forcefield to that particular part of that particular probe, too; that, or the doughy Tim Robbins (I really hope he gained weight FOR the movie) has a magic kryptonite hatchet in his cellar.
And then the aliens change gears and figure out they can turn people into mulch for the interesting red root stuff they like so much, rather than just turning them into ash. Guys, if you're looking for biomass for your red roots, look under your feet. You're not going to find anything in that red mist you're turning extras into that isn't already either growing out of the ground, or directly beneath it.
The invading force, of geez, lets be charitable...say worldwide, 100,000 tripods gets routed because of the lowly paramecium. Ok. Would anybody reasonably assume that it would be the last we heard from the aliens. If they're so damn advanced and merciless, they're already in low Earth orbit with a deathstar, or maybe just some antibiotics and orange juice. Any way you slice it, humans are fucked. If I were the aliens, I'd just say fuck it and incinerate the whole damn Earth after the first failed attempt. Why wasn't this addressed?
Speaking of not addressing things: why did the aliens do a real number on the slums of Jersey, rural Conneticut, Downtown Boston, but not grandma's brownstone backbay townhouse? Oh wait, its a Steven Spielburg movie, there had to be somewhere nice to be reunited with every castmember you ever met, including the person who ran directly into a mile-wide clusterfuck/fireball.
Science fiction is supposed to be believable, either by virtue of common sense, or some kind of
in situ justification. The idea of spacemen jaunting over from Mars, trying to kill us, and failing on account of these things we've discovered with microscopes was believable several hundred years ago... it just isn't today. As long as we're talking about taking liberties with my suspension of disbelief, lets talk EMPs. As far as I know, a strong EMP isn't going to do much to say... an old mustang, or much else that doesn't have a computer chip in it. Apache helicopters, humvees, fighter jets, local news affiliate equipment, and camcorders appear to be off the list despite their relative modernity and complexity.
And fuck Morgan Freeman for grabbing the largest, dullest hammer in reach, writing obvious on it with a black marker, and swinging it into my head at the beginning and end of the story. Worst voiceover in a film since the theatrical release of blade runner, where Ben Kingsley took similar actions with similar consequences.
This picture makes me think back to a little news blurb from years ago. A man was arrested when he tried to scale the wall surrounding Spielburg's house with a sock, a pair of handcuffs, and a roll of duct tape, which the police later referred to as a "rape kit". War of the Worlds made my eyes bleed. It makes me wish Steven had gotten to take a ride on the crazy stalker-guy highway, 9 inches at a time, while he choked on an old sock and his own vomit. It freaks me out that I'm the only person to give this movie one star. I'm either taking too many drugs, not enough drugs, the wrong drugs, the wrong combination of drugs, or the vast silent majority is simply abstaining from this thread because the mere idea of trying to begin to explain what they hated about it would be as hard and fruitless as teaching your dog to use a vacuum cleaner.
Verdict: judgement in favor of the plaintiff in the amount of $7.50 (US) plus court costs.
/end rant
