Hi everyone,
Long time reader, first time poster. Sorry if this is in the wrong section, feel free to point me in the right place if so..
I really hope you guys can help me out here!
So.. About 2 years ago I was occasionally doing 0.5-1g of street grade gear (once or twice a month), never bought too much and never did it more than a few days in a row. Everything was great until somebody offered me a gram of fantanyl HCL for next to nothing. I ended up dosing volumetrically and then putting mannitol in the liquid and evaporating to make a powder that was 20mg fentanyl hcl per gram of Mannitol. I did this for about 6 months straight and only realized how hopelessly addicted I was when I started being unable to sleep more than about an hour before having to crawl out of bed in agony.
After coming to terms with the situation I'd got myself into I decided to cold turkey and was HORRENDOUSLY ILL! I lasted about 6 days and when I still wasn't improving (I know I know, fent is supposed to have a silly short half-life so my withdrawal should have been completely over in a handful of days.. not so!) I caved to a friends offer of 2x 8mg Subutex tablets.
This was a life-saver! I sniffed bits of the first tablet and at a dose of less than 2mg I had beautiful relief
Over the next 2 weeks I used the sub whenever the withdrawal got bad (for me its classed as bad when I'm shivering cold and my hair stands on end, usually before the stomach upset starts) and successfully rode out the rest of the withdrawal in relative ease (slight RLS, poor sleep). After the 2 weeks I was happy(ish) and stable without any opiates, I did deal with a few more sleepless nights (sleep increased in length by about 20 minutes a night), I remained slightly depressed and upset that I let the situation get as bad as it did but after a couple of months I was healed and back to my happy self.
I stayed away from opiates for some time until recently I was again was offered cheap fent. I got right back to my old level of use in record time; about 8-10mg a day taken incrementally throughout the whole day (and night I guess), to cut a long story short I've been high as a kite on the fent 24/7 for about a month, perhaps as long as 6 weeks. I realized after about a month I was addicted again and needed to detox so went about procuring 3x 8mg subutex. I assumed this would be as easy as last time..
I was wrong!
I waited about 12 hours from my last line, spent the whole night awake (aside from the first hour) in agony but wanted to hold off the sub to prevent precipitated WD's. I started taking the sub, 0.5mg at a time, this morning. After half an hour with no relief I took another 0.5mg.. and another.. and another, then 1mg, another, then 2, again, again.. (it goes on!). I've now got through over 16mg of sub but feel next to no relief.. what is going on!? I have achy legs and arms, sweats, slightly dilated pupils etc. I thought 1mg would do me!!
Right now as I type this I'm bout 20 hours into the withdrawal, only..
I'm currently suffering pretty badly but not wanting to take more sub, any insight anyone can provide on why the sub issn't working or how much more I might need would be greatly appreciated (I know this is a hard to say and everyone is different!).. Also perhaps my main ask is any advice on how I should proceed from here??
Hmm.. trying to think if there's anything else relevant. I have 15 or so 100mg tapentadol tablets laying around somewhere and have access to more sub; I can get another 3x 8mg with a couple of days notice. I have an endless supply of diazepam, etizolam and clonazolam. I also have loads of mirtazapine (which was prescribed when I presented at the doctors with insomnia during my last withdrawal), I consider it a bit of a wonder drug and despite not taking it daily thought about it and would recommend it to anyone who has issues with depression or anxiety as an alternative to SSRI's.
I also have 100mcg of fent left, I don't intend on using it but wanted to keep it to hand in case I need to present to customers at work, I have nothing in the diary currently and if I manage to get stable on the sub that's where I want to be and can flush the fent.
Please help! I'm supposed to be getting married in March and really need to sort this mess out as the other half was incredible helping me through the first time but I worry she'd would walk if she found out it happened again. We just moved to a new, incredible, house. Work is going well too and I don't need this fucking everything up!
Thank you for reading all of that
Long time reader, first time poster. Sorry if this is in the wrong section, feel free to point me in the right place if so..
I really hope you guys can help me out here!
So.. About 2 years ago I was occasionally doing 0.5-1g of street grade gear (once or twice a month), never bought too much and never did it more than a few days in a row. Everything was great until somebody offered me a gram of fantanyl HCL for next to nothing. I ended up dosing volumetrically and then putting mannitol in the liquid and evaporating to make a powder that was 20mg fentanyl hcl per gram of Mannitol. I did this for about 6 months straight and only realized how hopelessly addicted I was when I started being unable to sleep more than about an hour before having to crawl out of bed in agony.
After coming to terms with the situation I'd got myself into I decided to cold turkey and was HORRENDOUSLY ILL! I lasted about 6 days and when I still wasn't improving (I know I know, fent is supposed to have a silly short half-life so my withdrawal should have been completely over in a handful of days.. not so!) I caved to a friends offer of 2x 8mg Subutex tablets.
This was a life-saver! I sniffed bits of the first tablet and at a dose of less than 2mg I had beautiful relief

I stayed away from opiates for some time until recently I was again was offered cheap fent. I got right back to my old level of use in record time; about 8-10mg a day taken incrementally throughout the whole day (and night I guess), to cut a long story short I've been high as a kite on the fent 24/7 for about a month, perhaps as long as 6 weeks. I realized after about a month I was addicted again and needed to detox so went about procuring 3x 8mg subutex. I assumed this would be as easy as last time..
I was wrong!
I waited about 12 hours from my last line, spent the whole night awake (aside from the first hour) in agony but wanted to hold off the sub to prevent precipitated WD's. I started taking the sub, 0.5mg at a time, this morning. After half an hour with no relief I took another 0.5mg.. and another.. and another, then 1mg, another, then 2, again, again.. (it goes on!). I've now got through over 16mg of sub but feel next to no relief.. what is going on!? I have achy legs and arms, sweats, slightly dilated pupils etc. I thought 1mg would do me!!
Right now as I type this I'm bout 20 hours into the withdrawal, only..
I'm currently suffering pretty badly but not wanting to take more sub, any insight anyone can provide on why the sub issn't working or how much more I might need would be greatly appreciated (I know this is a hard to say and everyone is different!).. Also perhaps my main ask is any advice on how I should proceed from here??
Hmm.. trying to think if there's anything else relevant. I have 15 or so 100mg tapentadol tablets laying around somewhere and have access to more sub; I can get another 3x 8mg with a couple of days notice. I have an endless supply of diazepam, etizolam and clonazolam. I also have loads of mirtazapine (which was prescribed when I presented at the doctors with insomnia during my last withdrawal), I consider it a bit of a wonder drug and despite not taking it daily thought about it and would recommend it to anyone who has issues with depression or anxiety as an alternative to SSRI's.
I also have 100mcg of fent left, I don't intend on using it but wanted to keep it to hand in case I need to present to customers at work, I have nothing in the diary currently and if I manage to get stable on the sub that's where I want to be and can flush the fent.
Please help! I'm supposed to be getting married in March and really need to sort this mess out as the other half was incredible helping me through the first time but I worry she'd would walk if she found out it happened again. We just moved to a new, incredible, house. Work is going well too and I don't need this fucking everything up!
Thank you for reading all of that