Misc Feel extremely guilty and ashamed to see doc about getting on anti depressants

[Miss Trust]

PS: Paxil caused me to have suicidal thoughts.

 

[Berdo tm1]

I know you are looking for a solution but if your business was doing well & you had a steady gf, would you be depressed? Probably not.......so your depression doesn't sound like a chemical imbalance, its more of the situation you are in that has brought on your depression.

i dont think its an either or case from what ive read and from my own experience.

external events increase happy chems in the brains and conversely a lack of good external events cause a lowering of those chemicals.

and since im stuck in the funk due to external factors i havent been able to get leverage. disheartened at the failure in my job and constant rejections from women as they laugh in the face of my misery.

so my thought is anti dperessant could fight the tide so to speak. kick start the engine to blast me out and back into the land of the living.

well you talk about taking vicodin and other hard opiates, if i were to go that route i should go for kratom if anything eh.

the postiive effect profile sounds good for what im after- it is said that it is great for tedious manual labor, both working and talking to women id both consider tedious when im doing badly at them. and opiates are known that you dont give a fuck so i consider that a good profile for a potential winner in terms of buffering against setbacks. oh yes not to mention the stimulating aspect.

anyhow it has been good to see that there has been a sympathetic ear on this forum kind of cathartic, it has encouraged me to try something, and i guess i can complain again if it doesnt work

 

[EarthBounded]

You need to think outside of the box. Feeling guilty about taking pharmaceuticals is absolutely ludicrous, I'm sure when you were growing up you got vaccinations, if you had an infection I would guess you would use an antibiotic, Cancer patients use Nuclear Pharmaceuticals etc... Depression is a disease, and can be properly treated with modern day medicine. Sure you will have the average dickhead walking around talking about big Pharma ruining the world and how everyone should just smoke herb, this is completely ignorant and I hate these people!!!

I was brainwashed into that mind state a few years back. Got off all my medication and tried to supplement with " herbal remedies ".
I ended up spending 5 days in the ER, From Improper herbal supplement use, my liver ended up failing.

My doctor now has me on:
3mg Clonazepam
1mg Alpraz.
10mg Buspar

( I do have a traumatic past )

I have been prescribed this exact amount for a year and I am happy and healthy. No shame.

Be careful if they try to put you on an SSRI, Not saying these don't have benefits but they most definitely can make a depressed person more manic and cause headaches.

Buspar is for Bi-polar disorder, however I have found its effects to be profound compared to Seroquel and Sertraline, On a long term basis.

 

[Doldrugs]

I'm on escitalopram (lexapro) but in my experience what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. My mother is on medication utterly different from what I'm on, which gave me more severe anxiety and depression when I was on them. Paxil worked for me but I gained a lot of weight on it, that's why I switched to Lexapro.

Sexual side effects are awful and I experienced the full gamut of them trying out different drugs for a year. But depression has sexual side effects, too. Currently I have no issues and my sex life is better than it's ever been, including when I wasn't on anything. So SSRIs aren't a guarantee for that particular issue.

 

[Miss Trust]

Thank you

 

[Berdo tm1]

i tried caffeine agina today and it had a great effect, 100mg this time, and went out to talk to girls on the street, usually i get pissed off after 15 mins and come home but was out for 3 hours or so and was alot more focused. i wonder just what awesomeness i could achieve on a low dose of a stronger stim taken sporadically. once a week or so. im very accustomed to stims so no danger of addiction imo. had plenty of exp with speed when younger and coke, never had issues with them (apart form when i was just learning their effects). this is more healthy i think than taking anti depressants all the time.

i bet if i used them functionally (rather than recreationally like i used to) i would feel amazing with with the day's acheivements if i took it early and blasted thru a ton of work/talking to chicks. the only thing would be to find a small enough dose so that im not destroyed the next day. seems do-able if i took a small functional dose in the morning so i could sleep at night.

 

[Berdo tm1]

Is there any stimulant i could get prescribed for acute on and off usage? Im guessing I couldnt give them a justification they would feel warranted. Ofc ADD everoyne and their mother seems to get prescribed over ther to you guys in the states but that is a poitnless endeavour when i just want a quick prescription written. Probably better to go to the grey market.

 

[TheLostBoys]

Can't you get Adderall or Ritalin?

 

[xtcgrrrl]

You could be me! That's EXACTLY what I think about, worry about, obsess over. My own death...how will it come? Will I know I'm dying? Will it hurt? Will I be old or is there a car accident or something in my future? Do I do myself in? And my parents, who I love and respect...watching them get older, have physical issues (both my parents are cancer survivors) thinking and worrying about their deaths. I'm crying now writing about it. And the worst...my precious, precious children. Will I lose them early? If I lost a child I believe I would blow my brains out rather than suffer the pain. I worry so much I get automatic panic attacks. I've self prescribed myself etizolam and that was working just fine for a while but now I've had a minor car accident (I looked down for my purse and swerved into a tree) and now I can't leave my bedroom because I'm paralyzed by fear. And the electricity is fucked up in this house so the fuse blows every 5 minutes after you turn it on so I've left it off, sat here all day in the dark (small windows, not much light) smoking and crying. I don't want my kids to see me like this so my husband has kept them away.

I need help but I'm too paralyzed to reach out for it. I'm on an antidepressant but it's not working, obviously. Prozac worked wonders...eventually...for my post-partum depression, maybe I should go back on that. But I can't leave the house and I need electricity to make phone calls (I'm deaf, I use the computer to call, I'm on my iPad right now with the battery slowly dying.) even if I DID make an appointment I have no way to get there. The car is in the shop, and no one will drive me. No one in my family in this house, I mean. They're all disgusted with me for sitting for days crying and not getting anything done.

Sorry this was so long. I really am in a bad spot right now. My depression and anxiety are sky-high. Thanks for listening.

Yes indeed but both of you guys in the last 2 posts havent offered another solution? See ive had this opinion for years but ive also stayed in the same misery of depression which only seems to get worse year after year. Sicne my 30th birthday all ive been thinking aobut most days is that im slowly dying and im no longer young and i jsut think about how im going to die or how long till my parents die and what my responsiblities are going to be when they get ill and start to die (they are in good health btw now no particular reaosn for me to be thinking that othe than my morbid outlook). my usual thoughts thru the day. i figure my responsibilities will only increase in time and i can barely do day to day things atm so gotta sort it out now.

The self medicating rout does have its plusses since you are the master of your destiny, the main drawback is being limited and prevented from trying most of the meds actually made for depression, im not messing with fucking research chemicals to try and sort this problem again, made that mistake many times already and ended up having mental breakdowns crying to my mom. so ruled that idea out. Kratom sounds great in terms of long history of use and relatively harmless except for the beast of possible addiction looming on one's shoulder. every turn fraught with danger.

at least with the plight of anti dpressants you have plenty of company of others taking it and we all know misery loves company . whereas when i dabbled with rcs someitmes i would get a chilling feeling in my mind of what if i fucked my brian up beyond repair id have no1 to relate to and id just be ttoally fucked with nowhere to turn as id be only one of the very few foolish/desperate enough to take such untested substances.

 

[Doldrugs]

If Prozac worked before you should get back on it. It sounds like anxiety is your main issue. I've gone through periods of agoraphobia so I know how bad it can be. I hope you find something that works.