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Ever gone to sleep wondering if you will wake up again?

i think anyone who's really into drugs has experienced that feeling. who wants to quit at a slight buzz? all or nothing bitches ;). i don't try and push myself till i'm retarded, but i've certainly taken a bit more than originally intended or wanted before.

unlike most, my thoughts when my IQ is somewhere around 10 are "i really don't care whether i wake up or not." i'm not suicidal, far from it; it's more of a feeling of happiness and contentedness when i'm that fucked up. anyway, it would be a pretty good way to go out: no pain, just one last damn good day under my belt. i'd much rather have that 'i don't give two shits' attitude than panicking about what could happen when i puke myself sober from too much oc.
 
Once I had this obnoxious idea of finishing a whole bottle of vodka, then after doing that had the even more obnoxious idea of seeing just how much I could drink. 25 shots in 3 hours later, giving me a BAC around 0.41 and no tolerance built up (which is above the LD50), I forced myself to not pass out for 6 hours after I stopped drinking, which was spent puking, and I was still worried about dying when I passed out. Didn't black out however. Only time I ever blacked out was when I took 12mg of xanax with no tolerance, but I'm sure I was a bit concerned then too.
Then at the peak of my coke habit, I was really concerned I was seconds away from an OD at the end of blowing through half an ounce in a weekend binge, but despite being very concerned about ODing I railed 6 more big lines and passed out 5 minutes later.
...and finally there was the time I shot 2400mg of oxy in a 12 hour period, with an average daily intake of only half that for the previous few weeks. I don't normally worry about taking massive doses of opiates because I never mix with benzos or alcohol, but that day I thought I might have gone a bit too far and tried in vain to stop myself from passing out after my last 300mg double shot.
I'm more responsible these days.
 
30 oc80s in 12 hours? that's past just simply 'ridiculous.' that's fucking ridiculous. too bad i'm asian. my dick's way too small to compare.
 
I hope if i get to 60-70yrs old that i die high on my deathbed.. that would be my ideal way out.
 
Yeah man I do that quite frequently coming off coke. I'll lay there and tell myself "ok man, sit it out for another 2.5 hours and then you can sleep". But then again I always remember the story of this guy in our town (of 5000) that took what HE thought was 3 X pills, turned out to be straight meth. He said the last thing he remembers is watching his buddy and girlfriend have sex then he fell asleep on the couch. Next thing he said he remembers is waking up and saying "who's fucking hand is that?" while in the hospital. Turns out it was his hand, completely useless, for he had a stroke debilitating his left side. He now gets to ride a tricycle and everyone in such a small town knows the story. I always remember that when I want to fall asleep right after coke, cuz shit, I figured 3 straight meth pills would make you want to stay up for a bit..... and I don't want a non-functioning body. Fuck that.
 
inotocracy said:
There are parts of the world that are warm during winter. 8)

There's also a solid half of the world that has NYE in the middle of summer. :\

As far as wondering if I'd wake up again, after a bottle and a half of vodka, my entire stash of benzos (About 40mg of clonazepam) and a pack of codeine pain pills I was pretty surprised when I woke up the next morning. Definitely not my proudest moment. :|
 
Only one time. I railed 2 OC80's when my tolerance was only about 20mg. I hit my peak while I was driving home from a bonfire at a friends house pretty late at night and my vision literally doubled because out of it. I was really scared to go to sleep but at the same time I didn't care.
 
a couple bags of dope and 120mg oc, i knew if i fell asleep at that point id stop breathing
 
Too many times to count unfortunately. Especially on heroin+methadone+fentanyl and benzos. I'd TRY to care that i was "most likely not gonna wake up" but i just didn't give half a shit till the morning when i was out of shit and was sick as fuck, then i really cared.

almost happened last night. I was doing a shot of tar after about three months of not IVing anything besides buprenorphine crystals, and i had this rig registered and i thought it wouldn't be a good idea. don't know where that came from because i've NEVER put down a needle before. but i plugged the same amount as i was gonna shoot and i got kind of fucked up, which definitely saved my life, because i've never plugged anything that got me high, much less .1 of tar heroin. was kinda scary once i realized the potency when it entered by butthole.
 
Yeh I was pretty concerned one night after one of my first tries of using Benadryl Night ( dxm with diphenhydramine) to potentiate PST; it worked extremely well, so well that I then didn't allow myself to sleep until I felt everything had worn off enough.
 
Link_S said:
When i'm high enough to be at that point im usually thinking

'No matter what happens now
I shouldn't be afraid
Because I know today has been the most perfect day I've ever seen'

i cant decide if thats profoundly beautiful or ignorant
 
Damn, I used to wonder if I would wake up in the morning after doing opiates because I overdosed twice. I didn't wake up one morning, spent five minutes basically dead. I've been really high from opiates probably around 5-10 times since then and each time I went to bed praying that I stayed up. Last night I was begging this girl not to let me fall asleep while I was on the phone with her after doing 80 mg of OC.
 
Last weekend I thought such after consuming quite a bit o' booze paired with some Boy 'n' too much 'Done.

Still typin', luckily.
 
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