I was initially attracted to this stuff because I have trouble focusing on things (both fun and boring things) and engaging with ...uhhh...life in general. I had never used any stimulants before. I was hoping to get increased focus and energy to help me get more out of whatever I did, and hoping that it would motivate me to do more.
What I found was that it did virtually nothing for energy or focus. On the days I tried it I was feeling tired and needed a pick me up, and though I usually did feel better after taking it, I still felt tired. The 'better' feeling was from a subtle mood lift I got from it, and that for me is pretty much the whole experience of ethylphenidate when it works well. I get more energy from a Red Bull or strong coffee, and concentration still seems to be random - sometimes I wake up with it and other times it eludes me.
Unfortunately, I found the quality of the mood lift was not guaranteed. Particularly in the beginning stages of its effects I feel like it could go either way, just like coming up on a psychedelic. I would feel a bit excited, but then a bit anxious, and start thinking "what if I get stuck on a negative loop?". A couple of times I just had this "meh, is this even any good?" feeling running all the way through the experience. I wanted something to pick me up and make sure I had a good, productive day; however, it seemed that how good or bad the day was depended on how I was feeling before taking it.
I received a second batch which had markedly different effects - tending to the negative. The second batch did almost nothing in the way of a mood lift, but left me feeling physically uncomfortable (the heart rate increase was much more noticeable) and having a lot of trouble sleeping.
I figured it may have been because I was developing a tolerance to it, and thus using more, but wasn't sure. This was a while back and I actually ordered a third batch which never came, and I suspect now never will
My overall experience with this rates as a
