Blue_DragonFly
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 20, 2002
- Messages
- 953
yeah I know that one well ...Originally posted by *PoRn*sTaR*:
I think i need to get some, its been wayyyyyy too long and I have no stories
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Embarassing sex stories...
- Thread starter WoozEee
- Start date
sXbomb
Bluelighter
Back in high school I was "dating around" and lacking a better place to go this guy and I decided to park at the desolate end of a dead-end street. We start to have sex when this cop pulls up, gets out and knocks on the window. The cop politely walked away a minute & the poor boy was all flustered and hurrying to get his clothes on while I took my sweet old time. The cop returned and tapped on the glass again. I still wasn't dressed so I yelled to him to "hold on a minute" as I opened the car door to be able to stand and put on my panties and pants. My boy and the cop were a little embarassed at that.
Well, the next week I was with the boy in the park under the kiddie slide (it was boxed in fort-like). We're going at it when we see headlights. Next, the search light is scanning the park and detects us moving under the slide to put our clothes back on. We dress then get out from under the slide and walk up to the cop car. We were busted by the SAME cop!
Well, the next week I was with the boy in the park under the kiddie slide (it was boxed in fort-like). We're going at it when we see headlights. Next, the search light is scanning the park and detects us moving under the slide to put our clothes back on. We dress then get out from under the slide and walk up to the cop car. We were busted by the SAME cop!
That's funnier than fuck! That was definately a kodak moment. Hehehe.
Ok one more time. The chick who got busted by the same cop twice was funny. I've not been successful doing the " " thing....so last time. Hope it works this time.
[ 12 August 2002: Message edited by: TJ ]
Ok one more time. The chick who got busted by the same cop twice was funny. I've not been successful doing the " " thing....so last time. Hope it works this time.
[ 12 August 2002: Message edited by: TJ ]
My experience could have been mortifying had i not been with a boyfriend i'd been with for years and was totally comfortable with.
We're messing around and stuff, and its dark, and i reach for the ky jelly and rub it on his penis and start playing with it, and as I'm doing it, I'm thinking 'gee the ky jelly smells nice' and then i start thinking 'hang on, it doesnt normally have a smell', and i kind of panic, turn on the light and instead of ky ive accidently grabbed a tube of swaschkoff hair gell/wax and have put that all over him.
He wasnt too impressed, but i have to say, i havent laughed that much in ages. Ahh, you just have to laugh these things off...
We're messing around and stuff, and its dark, and i reach for the ky jelly and rub it on his penis and start playing with it, and as I'm doing it, I'm thinking 'gee the ky jelly smells nice' and then i start thinking 'hang on, it doesnt normally have a smell', and i kind of panic, turn on the light and instead of ky ive accidently grabbed a tube of swaschkoff hair gell/wax and have put that all over him.
He wasnt too impressed, but i have to say, i havent laughed that much in ages. Ahh, you just have to laugh these things off...
My boyfriend and I were up in my room (this is when I still lived with my parents), we thought that we had the whole house to ourselves for the weekend, as my parents were out of town and my little brother was at HIS girlfriend's house.
We had sex on the floor in my room and then when we were done we went downstairs (buck naked) and he started to make dinner and I was playing the piano.
Suddenly, I heard the front door opening and I panicked, frozen naked at the piano like a deer in the headlights.
My brother opened the door. He was carrying a suitcase which he dropped on the ground.
"Kenny!" I said, my heart racing. He didn't reply, he just stood there looking shocked. My little brother hadn't seen me naked since I was, probably about 7 or something, and I feel sorry for him because I would NEVER want to see him naked. Especially at the piano.
ack
"Oh my god, whose suitcase is that?" I said.
"Dad's!" my brother said.
I screamed to my boyfriend to get dressed and I ran upstairs. My Dad must have been bringing in something from the car or maybe my little brother was stalling him, but my boy and I were able to get our clothes on before my Dad came upstairs with his luggage.
"Oh, hi Dad!" I said, trying to sound casual.
"Good Lord," said my father, wrinkling his nose. "It smells like a French whorehouse up here."
I am so dead, I thought. I am so, so dead. I have no idea what my boyfriend was thinking, but probably something along those same lines.
"Your brother wears so much goddamned cheap colonge," my Dad said. "It stinks up the whole house."
-Aura
We had sex on the floor in my room and then when we were done we went downstairs (buck naked) and he started to make dinner and I was playing the piano.
Suddenly, I heard the front door opening and I panicked, frozen naked at the piano like a deer in the headlights.
My brother opened the door. He was carrying a suitcase which he dropped on the ground.
"Kenny!" I said, my heart racing. He didn't reply, he just stood there looking shocked. My little brother hadn't seen me naked since I was, probably about 7 or something, and I feel sorry for him because I would NEVER want to see him naked. Especially at the piano.
ack
"Oh my god, whose suitcase is that?" I said.
"Dad's!" my brother said.
I screamed to my boyfriend to get dressed and I ran upstairs. My Dad must have been bringing in something from the car or maybe my little brother was stalling him, but my boy and I were able to get our clothes on before my Dad came upstairs with his luggage.
"Oh, hi Dad!" I said, trying to sound casual.
"Good Lord," said my father, wrinkling his nose. "It smells like a French whorehouse up here."
I am so dead, I thought. I am so, so dead. I have no idea what my boyfriend was thinking, but probably something along those same lines.
"Your brother wears so much goddamned cheap colonge," my Dad said. "It stinks up the whole house."
-Aura
sXbomb
Bluelighter
^
LMAO!!!!
LMAO!!!!
Well this was about 4 years ago, my gf and I were downstairs in her room, kissing/groaping/fingers roaming etc.
We were almost to the point of ripping each others remaining clothes off and fucking like bunnies (I had my boxers on, she had most of her clothes on) when, without a knock, mom walks in.
If not for a strategically placed blanket, it would have been all over. There would have been no "explaining it" my tent was raised
"Dinner is almost ready, what are you two doing?"
"Just resting mom"
As it turns out, I pulled off being tired quite well.
Good idea for a topic!
We were almost to the point of ripping each others remaining clothes off and fucking like bunnies (I had my boxers on, she had most of her clothes on) when, without a knock, mom walks in.
If not for a strategically placed blanket, it would have been all over. There would have been no "explaining it" my tent was raised
"Dinner is almost ready, what are you two doing?"
"Just resting mom"
As it turns out, I pulled off being tired quite well.
Good idea for a topic!
Alf
Bluelighter
My friend Joel and I were working hard to beat the last Zelda right before the new one came out. We spent days straight sitting in his living room, getting high and making sexual innuendos at each other. We finally beat the game and as a celebration we convened to his room to smoke. His parents and younger sister were asleep down the hall.
We both collapsed onto the bed and then half-turned to each other to talk, and all of a sudden we were making out and ripping off our clothes. We went at it for a while and had just changed positions when I looked up and noticed his dad standing in the doorway, holding a bat. I had NO IDEA how long he had been standing there, staring at me on top of his son.
We both covered up as quickly as we could... turns out he had heard me making noise and thought there was someone in the house attacking his daughter.
I still haven't been back to their house.
We both collapsed onto the bed and then half-turned to each other to talk, and all of a sudden we were making out and ripping off our clothes. We went at it for a while and had just changed positions when I looked up and noticed his dad standing in the doorway, holding a bat. I had NO IDEA how long he had been standing there, staring at me on top of his son.
We both covered up as quickly as we could... turns out he had heard me making noise and thought there was someone in the house attacking his daughter.
I still haven't been back to their house.
IWoody
Bluelighter
- Joined
- May 14, 2002
- Messages
- 555
My most embarrasing... not very
I had a party a few weeks back where I hooked up with a girl that came after going out and drinking WAY too much we came home with some friends who were crashing here. we all came upstairs to my room for a while where I kicked em out for some shagging fun
half an hour later we are at it drunk as skunks then silly me thinks time for her to be on top so I grab her and roll on to my back. Not knowing that there is no bed there BANG we hit the ground and kept going right there.
Next morning friend whoo stayed downstairs "hey woody did you fall out of bed??"
Me:"Ummm no oh thats right"(where i remember falling out of bed)
Friend" thats right what??"
me:"oh I fell over looking for my ciggies"
Sorta got out of it...
On a funnier not I remember going to a house warming party where the girl who lived there had a whole bunch of friendss from out of town staying. She was giving the grand tour of the house and walks in to the "Spare" roomabout 10 people behind her she turns on the light. One of her high school mates was getting it from behind (backs facing us) and it took them till the laughter to realise that the light was turned on. Now that would be embarrassing.
I had a party a few weeks back where I hooked up with a girl that came after going out and drinking WAY too much we came home with some friends who were crashing here. we all came upstairs to my room for a while where I kicked em out for some shagging fun
half an hour later we are at it drunk as skunks then silly me thinks time for her to be on top so I grab her and roll on to my back. Not knowing that there is no bed there BANG we hit the ground and kept going right there.
Next morning friend whoo stayed downstairs "hey woody did you fall out of bed??"
Me:"Ummm no oh thats right"(where i remember falling out of bed)
Friend" thats right what??"
me:"oh I fell over looking for my ciggies"
Sorta got out of it...
On a funnier not I remember going to a house warming party where the girl who lived there had a whole bunch of friendss from out of town staying. She was giving the grand tour of the house and walks in to the "Spare" roomabout 10 people behind her she turns on the light. One of her high school mates was getting it from behind (backs facing us) and it took them till the laughter to realise that the light was turned on. Now that would be embarrassing.
danathebum
Bluelighter
I was giving head for the first time in a car, and these little kids came up and started looking in the window, then their parents were comming to get them and it was scarry and embarresing, yeah thats my story.
Look I'm sorry but these stories are just not cutting it. Being caught or observed engaged in some kind of sexual activity is hardly a chart topper in the embarrassment stakes.. you lot would make lousy porn stars. And what's the big deal with blood round your mouth? Oh come on.
*** EMBARRASSING ***
*** EMBARRASSING ***
PsychoKitten
Bluelight Crew
In Australia it's illegal to sell handcuffs without a safety release, however my then boyfriend was a bit of a smart ass and decided they'd be better if he shaved the release off, which was fine cause we had the keys on a hook near the bed.
So we're staying at a swanky hotel on a dirty weekender when he gets the cuffs out and we start playing which was great until we get to the uh-oh moment where he realises he didn't pack the keys. So what does he do? He calls the concierge who says he'll send a maintenance man up. 3 maintenance men later and I'm still cuffed to the bed naked with a sheet over me, waiting for the locksmith to arrive.
Everyone in the hotel knew, and for the rest of the weekend we couldn't go anywhere without people getting the giggles when we charged things to our room, not to mention that the 3am call out fee from the locksmith put a bit of a dent in our budget.
[ 25 November 2002: Message edited by: PsychoKitten ]
So we're staying at a swanky hotel on a dirty weekender when he gets the cuffs out and we start playing which was great until we get to the uh-oh moment where he realises he didn't pack the keys. So what does he do? He calls the concierge who says he'll send a maintenance man up. 3 maintenance men later and I'm still cuffed to the bed naked with a sheet over me, waiting for the locksmith to arrive.
Everyone in the hotel knew, and for the rest of the weekend we couldn't go anywhere without people getting the giggles when we charged things to our room, not to mention that the 3am call out fee from the locksmith put a bit of a dent in our budget.
[ 25 November 2002: Message edited by: PsychoKitten ]
this is just one of the many stories that happened to a friend of mine who always tries kinky shit with her boyfriend.
one night they were getting a bit tired of the usual fucking and so the boyfriend goes into the kitchen in search for vegies. he finds a cucumber in the fridge but thinks that it will be too cold and hurt his girlfriend- or atleast be uncomfortable. he puts it in the microwave for afew minutes and heads proudly back in to bed. he shoves the cucmber up her pussy and then my friend lets out an almighty scream as the cucumber bursts, releasing hot, bubbling and burning cucumber juice. she cried non stop for houuuurrs.
another time the same couple were "experimenting" with a mobile phone on vibrate and a pencil. they think they hear the guys mum coming down the hallway and my firned jumps up. the pencil gets stuck and she searches for it for 1/2 hour until she finally pulls it out.
oh brother..
one night they were getting a bit tired of the usual fucking and so the boyfriend goes into the kitchen in search for vegies. he finds a cucumber in the fridge but thinks that it will be too cold and hurt his girlfriend- or atleast be uncomfortable. he puts it in the microwave for afew minutes and heads proudly back in to bed. he shoves the cucmber up her pussy and then my friend lets out an almighty scream as the cucumber bursts, releasing hot, bubbling and burning cucumber juice. she cried non stop for houuuurrs.
another time the same couple were "experimenting" with a mobile phone on vibrate and a pencil. they think they hear the guys mum coming down the hallway and my firned jumps up. the pencil gets stuck and she searches for it for 1/2 hour until she finally pulls it out.
oh brother..
sydpinkroger
Bluelighter
About 2 years ago my then girlfriend and I had been out drinking at the bar. We get home and start going at it. Now we are both totally shitfaced by now, to the point where neither of us can stand or walk very well. We decide we want to get a little freaky so we break out the handcuffs. I handcuff both her hands to the top of my bedpost. So I go down on her and the next thing I remember is the sun shining in the windows and my back being really sore. I look up and low and behold there’s my ex girlfriend still naked, and still handcuffed to the bedpost. She had finally fallen asleep sitting up. Turns out my back was so sore from her kicking me for about five hours straight before she finally gave up . I’m a really sound sleeper especially when I have been drinking. There’s no waking me up until I’m ready to get up. We didn’t see much of each other after that.
My wife and I are visiting grand parents at an old folks condo. We decide to stop the elevator between floors so we can get kinky and have a little sex in the only place with any privacy. With both of our pants around our ankles and her mouth sucking my throbbing cock, all of a sudden the elevator doors open and a bunch of old people gasp in horror at the sight of us and they all just stare and watch as I try to fold and stuff an erect penis back into my pants and as my wife bends over shooting them all a full asshole and beaver shot as she bends over to pull up her pants.
It seems that we didn't actually stop the elevator between floors, but rather had stopped at a floor, and had simply pushed a button that kept the door closed. Those that are still alive are probly still talking about us.
It seems that we didn't actually stop the elevator between floors, but rather had stopped at a floor, and had simply pushed a button that kept the door closed. Those that are still alive are probly still talking about us.
Being caught in the act is bad , but at least it carries some kudos with it. There was a girl that I'd fancied for a long time, and we finally decided to have sex (my first time). When it came down to it though, i couldn't get out of my head the story that my friend had told me about not being able to get it up. Sure enough, I flopped. There was much despair, and I ended up going to see the school councillor. Somehow the girl came back to my house the next weekend, and having been psyching myself up for a week, I was petrified of the same thing happening. So when I got an erection I was delighted, and was only concerned with keeping it. As I got into position, finally about to lose my virginity, the goal in site...Oh dear - just couldn't control myself and ended up all over her before she'd even touched me.
I think I win.
I think I win.