Embarassing sex stories...

errrr, probably the time that i was having sex with my girlfriend in my room. We were getting rather enthusiastic and pretty vocal. So vocal that we didnt realise how loud the bed was bashing into the wall. (sound travels pretty well in this house)
What we didn't realise was that my parents were having a family lunch downstairs with close to ten people.
All of a sudden we could hear fits of laughter and my brother in law and uncle shouting 'GO GO GO! while clapping in time to us thumping against the wall.
we decided we weren't hungry.
[ 02 July 2002: Message edited by: Tasty Mushroom ]
 
So my friend tells me this story about one of his friends going down on his girlfriend slipping up and ending up tongeing her ass. I tell him this is complete bullshit...I mean how can you miss and end up in the ass?
Fast forward a couple months to trying to go at 69 in the dark guess what I did :-).
It is kinky if you mean to do it but when you aren't expecting their ass it is quite a surprise.
 
most embarrassing thing - i was 17 and very new to sex esp head. i was seeing this 21 yr old guy, someone i was totally infatuated with. after going out to dinner, we went back to his place and i went down on him. i didn't realize my gag reflex was so sensitive and i threw up all over his lap without warning. i ran to the bathroom ashamed. after i cleaned up i came back out and saw that he had cleaned himself up. then he said something that even 7yrs later i still don't know if he was joking. he said, i think somethings wrong with me, this has never happened to me before. i sat there for a few minutes and i finally said something like i'm sorry i got sick. to make matters worse he said it was time for me to go home and on the drive home he was laughing.
on the vaginal farts - i get a little embarrassed but my b/f moans and gets excited. i think that he kinda takes it as i'm relaxing and he's turning me on. i love him for that.
[ 02 July 2002: Message edited by: jujube02 ]
 
so we're all at this party-- back in high school. not one sober person in the house. my best friend (not at the time) decides her drunk ass is going to lose her virginity in the danky cold basement of the raging house. as her and the dude are getting all freaky.. he says "Oh shit.. the condom broke" the broken rubber gets discarded into a half empty beer bottle. fast forward 2 hours. a nother guy friend walks down into the dark basement, sits down next to the de-flowered girl and tries hitting on her. too bad she's completely passed out. eh, whatever, he shrugs it off and to his surprise finds a half full beer bottle!! "Didnt think there was any beer left!" he exclaims and merrily chug-a-lug-a-lugs it down. he stumbles out of the danky dark basement and finds another girl who lures his drunk arse upstairs. he's going down on her and she's a bloody girl and guess what..... RALPH RALPH RALPH into her cooch. vomit in da hole.
*the end*
 
Originally posted by ~*MEOW*~:
you LET your cat suck on your nipple?
Click to expand...
Jeez, from reading this forum, there are a whole lot more fuckd up things that people do.
From reading that post, it wasn't a fetish or anything...not like she was getting off on it.
 
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This didn't happen to me, it happened to my boyfriend and one of his ex-girlfriends. He had picked her up at a bar and they had gone back to her house. They thought no one was home and started getting it on in her bedroom...and then her mother barged in and stuck a shotgun in my boyfriend's face. He was terrified so they grabbed their clothes and ran outside, where they continued in her dad's car.
Ah, the joys of being drunk....
 
Well it's not hugely embarassing but quite funny.
One time while round at my girlfriends watching TV we decided to get a little freaky.
So sitting on her sofa she climbed on top of me, I undid the top of my trousers and let her sit on top.
So we are fully cloathed except for my balls hanging out with me sitting normaly on the sofa and her facing me with her legs down my side.
Anyway where going at it like crazy when her room mate walks in not noticing what we had just been doing and sat down on a chair to watch TV.
Anyway she thought we where just sitting in a funny possition untill she see my balls hanging out between my jeans.
Fucking priceless.
We had to sit totaly still as to not expose any pussy or the dick burried inside and wait till here room mate had left the room.
 
This from a few months ago would have embarrassed the hell out of most ppl. It turned me on something fierce tho.
I'm out for drink with my then partner. We end up at one of my fave places - this really cosy bar with old fashioned booths. So we're sitting there n playing footsie and I decide to umm "slip under the table".
So I'm under there, with my mouth busy and his friends walk into the place, spot him and come over to sit down. Note: I am still under the table. They stayed for ages, while I played him like a bloody violin. They stayed so long that in the end I had no choice but to finish him off and pop up back into my seat.
Classy huh, you should have seen the faces on those guys. Figuing i was in for it, i decided to make the most of it and I looked each one in the eye as i wiped my bottom lip with my finger, licked it clean then calmly replaced my lipstick.
 
This embarassing moment is not mine but it happened in my presence so it qualifies. I was on a dbl date in high school with my G/F and my best friend and his G/F. Went to dinner/the movies, the usual stuff, then at the end of the night, it made more sense to take my girl home first. So we drop her off and that leaves me, my best friend and his girl in the car for a 35 mile drive home. I'm driving and they're in the back seat getting freaky. Now bear in mind this is in the middle of NO-WHERE in Indiana, I was driving pretty fast, in excess of 75 mph. My friends girl decides to go down on him in the back seat. Now- she'd been bobbing up and down for a while, his head was all thrown back in the back deck of the rear window, so I'm the only one watching the road. We were rapidly approching a railroad crossing with a significant rise to it. We hit it still at about 75mph, and as we crossed the tracks at that speed, the car left the ground momentarily. Well, ole girl is in the backseat with mouth-full-o-member, and on a downstroke. We hit the ground on the other side and the cars shocks bottomed out and so did she. Now were talking about a girl that had sucked exactly ONE dick in her whole life and it was in her mouth at the time, deep-throating someone was NOT in her sexual repatoire. I hear a loud "GLAAAUGHCK" and I saw in the rear view mirror, she was holding her hand over her mouth. She'd triggered her gag reflex and my homey was about to hammer it home when she gagged, so now he's cummin and she's pukin' in his lap. I was laughing so hard I had to stop the car, she was so pissed she was threatening to walk home and probably would have if not for the remoteness of our location at the time. I giggled most everytime I saw her for weeks, I couldn't help it. I kept seeing her face in the rear view mirror in my mind, her eyes were enormous and her hand was trying not to let her spew, but spew she did. I still laugh when I think about him blowing his load and her pukin all over him. But alas, my lil joke had to remain private, I was threatened with castration if I were to reveal it to a single soul at school, but it didn't stop me from giggling my fuckin' ass off. HAAA HAAA
PEACE
EXPATRIATE OUT!
[ 06 July 2002: Message edited by: expatriate ]
 
i was dating this guy for almost a year and his parents loved me. it was christmans eve at their house and we were waiting for the rest of the family to show up. we went into the basement to get it on. but we heard his mom coming downstairs, so he bolted to a dark corner and i just covered up with a blanket. she asked me what i was doing and i said, taking a nap cause i didn't feel well. she got me some hot tea, said she hoped i felt better and started to leave. i was so relieved to get off so easy, just then she tripped over his pants that had been thrown across the floor and realized what was going on. before i could do anything, she turned on all the lights and there was my boyfriend butt naked. that was the last christmas i spent at the goldie residence.
 
^^^^ reminds me of a story i was once told, don't know if its true though but after reading this i think its true! but the stroy ended w/ the guy not minding going down on a chyck then going in2 the bathroom & saying something like 'i loook like freddy kruger' grossed me out, but thats my personal choice!
TC
 
Last week this girl i really dig took a nighttime stroll with me onto the beach to lay by the water's edge and soak up the white-noise vibrations of the crashing shorebreak, and as the energy between us tends to leap from cool to hot and back again, we found ourselves grinding furiously and making out on a lonely-feeling expanse of sand at a time where most people would be out at bars, getting their major-league swerve on.

As the expansive tendency of heat would dictate, one thing led quickly to another and we found ourselves grinning evil grins and deciding that here and now would be as good a time and place as any to feel each other a little more deeply, with a little more abandon than our first time together. What is it about fleece tops, breaking waves, sarongs and outdoor sex?

One would need a machete to cut through the thick air of anticipation as we decided what must happen, will be.
She had abundant swell to ride, my tongue was flowing with her flooding tide. So we stripped our lower halves and got down to the pleasurable business of fucking, immediately signing on the dotted line. And despite the funky logistics of sex on the sand, she soon found her express train to lala land.

As she's cumming, these kids a few hundred feet away coincidentally, i should say simultaneously, fire off some bottle rockets into the water, unaware i think, of our presence. The 'bonus fireworks' synchronize quite nicely with her own internal show, and all is quite fine and dandy in her world.
We switch positions and i am just starting to find a comfortable rhythm, just starting to feel the potential flavor of fucking this awesome creature. Fucking like I Like To Fuck on my birthday thank you. Energy, synergy, chemistry, it's time to tear her asunder.

Out of the blackness a hovering police chopper decides it's time to supremely block my cock and ice my vibe by shining his spotlight on us, causing us naturally to get a couple more tasty pumps in before we scurry to pack up and roll. Uh-oh, naughty kids having public sex, beware the reach of the long arms of the law.

I have yet to properly fuck this woman, and it's driving me up the wall. I see my dick in the eerie glow of the helicopter spotlight, and wonder if i'll ever see it through a mosaic filter on Cops. We make light of the situation and return to the walking path. I now curse those blasted kids, only allowing me a teasing taste of her before spoiling my despoiling of her yummy body and vibe.

The reinforcements pour in as an ATV piloted by a uniformed protector of the peace comes in to question us as to our activity. When asked, the girl straight-up admits to having sex on the beach, shocking me and catching him off-guard. He then gets to the Meat of the Matter, catching us by suprise by asking us if we were The Ones Shooting Off Fireworks. We respond dumbfounded, wondering what sort of sexual acrobatics and zen mastery would be necessary to achieve both at the same time.
We point him in the vague general direction of the alleged perpretators and ask the cop for a light. He obviously has none and bodes us well as he slips into the darkness of the night, his two-stroke hum a laughing reminder of this funny episode. More like a another cosmic mocking from the mysterious origin: she gets an orgasm and fireworks, i get the romantic glow of helicopter spotlights. :)
 
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After a long day of snowboarding, me and my gf at the time are coming down the mountain in the gondola. My friends are in the next gondola and can't see so we start going at it doggy style. Well I don't know why exactly but it turns out there was a gondola full of people going up the mountain. I didn't see them but my friends in the next gondola said all they saw was a gondola full of people laughing and giving each other high fives.
 
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