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TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

heylushx3 said:
i had anorexia... and when i started to eat more i started bulimia and it was sooo tiring and i was scared of dying bc i'm a hypochondriac. now i'm into binge eating. i eat so much candy and it is disgusting. i just want to be healthy... and everyone tells me i look better than i did when i was 98 lbs (which i don't believe) but i think each day i am starting to feel a little better jsut by tryin to accept myself. it's hard though bc now i live in new york city and i see beautiful model thin people everywhere. but whatever. and i still think everyday i should try to lose a few lbs. it's hard but we need to realize we have a warped impression and we need to find people who can support and not judge us. <3
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I'm sorry I haven't answered you til now heylushx3! I've been on holidays. Read your post again, can you see that the only time you refer to 'we' ("we need to realize we have a warped impression and we need to find people who can support and not judge us.) is when you're talking about taking steps and getting better? I think you're subconsciously separating yourself from 'realising your warped impression' and also from accepting that you need to, and will, change. You can see the logic and apply it to others, but not yourself.

I know, I was there. Still am in lots of ways. I hope one day you truly believe your last sentence. To you and everybody else who's SO stuck in the depths of an ED,
I have two things to give you-
Understanding,
and the knowledge that it got better. It really happened.
<3 <3
 
Life Blows

No and more no...I was a borderline anorexic...and now I'm at the other extreme...Binge eating disorder...Shot up from 119 for 5'8" to 275 where I presently am at...Bah, life blows...*grabs more pain meds* :\
 
That must be indescribably fucking hard hannah. At one stage I'd put on 30 kilos(70-80 lbs?) in about 3 months, so I know how it feels somewhat. Don't lose hope OK? I'm getting there. And by that I don't mean I'm getting thin, I mean I'm getting better. Getting more real control over food and lifestyle. And by doing that I'm also losing weight, and keeping it off under amazing circumstances(ie before, the weight would have hurtled back on me in a matter of 2 days as fat).
It's not hopeless lovely.
 
wow, alot of ppl are on common ground here,
i was bulimic in middle school because food was a quick and easy way to feel good and enjoy something, and it was all i had time for because i was a 4.0 student and running cross country and playing soccer. I'd eat so much and enjoy it so much and then just feel gross and want it out. When i started smoking i found a new quick and easy way to feel good, and i stopped obsessing about food. The difference is, now i feel happy almost everyday and the smoking is just adding to it.

a little nervous because recently i've lost weight accidentally, but was pretty happy about it, and now i kind of see myself not eating as much for fear of gaining it back/wanting to lose more.
my friends and parents are concerned with how how i look and my eating habits, but it looks like i got nothing compared to alot of people here.
i hope everyone finds help and get/stay healthy.
good luck
 
^Thanks lovely. You're right to be aware of your habits. You need to be reasonably aware of your own actions and motives, without focusing your whole life on it! A hard balancing act! You can always come into this thread even if it's way down the list of pages and someone will give you some love/help :) Look after yourself ok? Keep up the variety of things filling your life, I'm sure you know that's so important.
Mwah :)

p.s be careful, that balacing act is hard to maintain and it sounds like something might be slipping for ya. Remember there are SO MANY things more important than what you eat in your short life. In a years time if you look back on this time, you won't regret bingeing, or under eating, or throwing up, you'll regret how much it controlled and restricted your life.
 
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lbcgirl7820 said:
my friends and parents are concerned with how how i look and my eating habits, but it looks like i got nothing compared to alot of people here.
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That's so great that you overcame your bulimia by yourself. :)

Be careful though, try not to compare yourself to other people's experiences. You are unique, therefore your life, opinions, body, actions etc are all unique too. If your family and friends have expressed concern with your weight loss, then perhaps you should go to your GP or a dietician to get their professional opinion? Your friends and family are the people who care most about you so if they're worried it usually has some merit to it :)

Just going back to something I've shared in this thread before, my mum voiced concern about my weight (or lack thereof) back in late 2004. I was in complete denial at this stage and although I'd knew I'd lost a bit of weight (I'd hardly eaten anything for like a month), I still thought I was fat and had heaps more to lose. But looking back at photos, I was fucking skinny and looked really unhealthy.

The point of my story is that although you might think you're eating normally and that there's nothing to worry about, if other people are commenting, then there's usually something going on.

Do you think this applies to you at all?? I could be well off-track because I don't know what you look like or anything!

One thing I've learned though is that it feels SO GOOD to be healthy =D I could never go back to anorexia/bulimia.
 
MidnightBaby said:
^Thanks lovely. You're right to be aware of your habits. You need to be reasonably aware of your own actions and motives, without focusing your whole life on it! A hard balancing act! You can always come into this thread even if it's way down the list of pages and someone will give you some love/help :) Look after yourself ok? Keep up the variety of things filling your life, I'm sure you know that's so important.
Mwah :)

p.s be careful, that balacing act is hard to maintain and it sounds like something might be slipping for ya. Remember there are SO MANY things more important than what you eat in your short life. In a years time if you look back on this time, you won't regret bingeing, or under eating, or throwing up, you'll regret how much it controlled and restricted your life.
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thanks very much for the care and support, its good to talk to good people. Luckily right now its not so much a focus in my life as a side-note if that makes any sense, although the weightloss and all is pretty recent. I will be sure to come back to this thread for support if things do progress at all, thanks again, your advice is received and i'll try to keep it in mind
 
n3ophy7e,
your story sounds similar to what is going on right now. I was having some appetite problems that were really bothering me, so I did ask my mom to make a doctors appointment. But before that came around, I continued to lose weight until apparently it was noticeable. My mom keeps making comments about my clothes being lose and asking what I've eaten, etc. and it was driving me crazy because i thought she was overreacting. Then friends, girls and guys, started commenting on how I look very skinny. Some of the comments were complimentary and some were from concerned friends. It wasn't until i heard all this input that I determined that the appetite thing really wasn't all that bad. I'm feeling better now, but I've found that the comments flattered me and I think I like the thinner version of myself better. I still don't think I look anything but healthy, but I guess others see it differently. No worries though, I should be fine as long as I just stay around the weight I am at now
 
I had anorexia long time ago, lost about 40 lbs. I went from 140 to 100 in a few months, the only reason I really stopped was 1) I quit doing coke and had mad sugar cravings and instantly gained 5-7 lbs back. and 2) Met my boyfriend who makes sure I eat enough. Also caused me to gain back anoth 7-9 lbs.

It's hard to deal with. I tried the bulimic thing, but it always just fucked with my chest. I have a real hard time with compulsive over eating as well but I'm working really hard on not eating if I'm not hungry, and stopping when I'm full, and not eating past like 8 or 9 o'clock at night. Even though I'm no longer starving myself, it's still in my head constantly. It's haunting and I hate it. I'm constantly plagued with thinking about what I'm eating, the next time I'm eating, how much weight I'll gain from this one sandwich, How if I hadn't eaten that meal I'd look so much better. Just all these stupid little thoughts that I obsess and dwell over. It's superlame. But I'm dealing with it. Getting better.

<3
 
Ashtonmuffin said:
Even though I'm no longer starving myself, it's still in my head constantly. It's haunting and I hate it. I'm constantly plagued with thinking about what I'm eating, the next time I'm eating, how much weight I'll gain from this one sandwich, How if I hadn't eaten that meal I'd look so much better. Just all these stupid little thoughts that I obsess and dwell over. It's superlame. But I'm dealing with it. Getting better.

<3
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Ashton I know exactly what you mean about it haunting you!! I still think about it all the time and while the thoughts are getting less frequent and less controlling of me, they are still there.

Over time it will diminish. You WILL get better. As long as you're eating healthily, and have a caring boyfriend who takes notice when you're not doing the right thing for yourself. <3
 
Yeah he definitely helps a lot, and I try to eat as best I can as well as exercise or walk when I can fit it in, that way I don't feel bad about what I eat if I get some sort of exercise.

<3
 
^^ Plus, exercise releases endorphins so you feel happier too!
Everybody wins! :D
 
food is just like any drug of choice... and it can be just as dangerous as cocaine, heroin, or meth...

it upsets me people trying to play off an eating disorder as a "lifestyle" it is a disease and without treatment you will face real problems and possibly death.

so please, treat your diseases seriously, and learn to love your body, yourself, and your life!!
 
Ummm I stopped eating again...I feel like such a hypocrite with all the advice and stuff I've said in this thread so I apologise.
I dunno what happened though. My partner is away for work and I've hardly eaten anything since he's been gone (nearly 3 weeks). I've lost 8kg in that time. I'm eating tonight because my stomach really hurts cos I've been drinking a LOT of alcohol lately. My body is not liking the food at all though.

My psychiatrist is going to just love this 8)
 
^^^^^

try something really gentle on your system, like broth to get you back started again... or even a fresh fruit smoothie would probably be good for you!!!

no food=death. plain and simple.
 
Pillthrill said:
I'm actually starting to eat more. 3 times a day even somedays. YAY ME!
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That's great!! Keep up the good work hun <3

I had lunch today. I didn't really have a choice cos we had a work function on. I now look in the mirror and see a fat person. I fucking hate this disease!!! :X
 
^^^ try to turn that image of a "fat person" into the image of a healthy person sustaining life and treating her body as it should be treated!!!

3 times a day pill thrill!!?? you go girl!!!
 
n3o-- I've seen pics of you in the lounge (I think), and you are not fat. Lunch is brilliant, I like to eat at least three of them a day!

Pillthrill-- Kudos! Something that I found helped is to eat small meals often. Your stomach capacity is probably pretty low, and that way you'll be getting the calories you need without feeling bloated and overfull. Plus it's healthier to eat that way, it boosts your metabolism. Just make sure that you're getting your calories, and some protein at every meal.
 
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