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TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

Perpetual Indulgence said:
Life is too short to be occupied with such things. Wasted thought and worry.
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QFE

There are so many more important things to spend our precious time and energy on!
 
My mom mentioned today that I need to eat more.
She said that my dad hugged me and I was all bones...
Idk, I'm 95% sure that I haven't lost any weight or changed eating patterns really. Hmm she gets pissed when I get stoned, but wants me to eat, ha, yeah right. One or the other pretty much.
 
^^ Yeah I remember when my mum called me "skinny malink" in passing, and it was such a shock and in my fucked-up state at the time I went in to complete denial and didn't eat for a week after that. It was kinda like "She thinks I'm skinny? I'll show her skinny!"
Totally fucked...

But she was right, I was very skinny.

Pillthrill, if there's one person in the world who's concerned about your health and wellbeing, it's your mum. So maybe she's right? Do you think you need to eat more? How could you make food a bigger part of your daily routine?
 
That is very fucked up n3o, I can relate.

pillthrill n3o is very right. But I'd add how can you make food a bigger part of your daily routine WITHOUT daily pot?
 
No, not really. I've tried, I just go totally the other way. I get remarks about how little I eat and how tiny I am...but how do I know what is ok and what isn't? What is normal and what isn't? What is acceptable and attractive and what isn't?
Maybe my therapist did him something when she asked about my relationship with food in our first meeting. Is it apparent? I feel somewhat normal, I don't obsess, I don't even think about it anymore...
 
I'm no Dr, but I think it's a physical manifestation of the stuff inside you. A way of showing people you're suffering. A way to shrink away and be small and fragile so maybe looked after, cared for, shown concern. A way of saying "I'm sick". A way to show you're different and you need help.

Also punishment and self-hatred.
 
I still think you should try really hard to get to see a nutritionist/dietician. Even especially one who specialises in depression/eating disorders.
 
hmm maybe it stems from my desire to be cared for...
I can't really afford to see anyone, and there isn't much for options in a small Midwestern town. Maybe its something I could touch on. Idk. I really don't know if its a issue or not.
from looking an online charts
5'3"
111-124 pds
and I usually waver around 100pds these days...
 
Hey guys....I really don't want to hijack your thread as it seems very supportive and positive.......however you seem like the right people to be asking this question and I appreciate any advice you can offer.

I'm a guy and have a flatmate that I'm worried has some sort of eating disorder. I've only known her 6 months but in that time I'm sure she's lost weight and I've recently started thinking she might have a problem.

She's always only ever eaten vegetables. I eat meat, potatos and veges for dinner and am not too shy to eat junk food now and then so initially this was strange for me although I know many people are vegetarian. She says she's not, but for every single meal she eats microwaved veges and thats it. Lately she has had a craving for custard and she makes a point of saying that she is going out for custard. I know she takes iron tablets (ferrus) every day too.

Every time I offer her a biscuit or a chip she deny's me, however if she does take it she will complain about her weight (she is tiny, admittingly she is really short and small but she is now tiny) and then she will go for a run. Sometimes I have watched her accept the cookie and then leave it on the bench and sooner or later it disappears although I'm sure it goes in the bin.

Now the eating isn't the only thing I think is out of control....she is a complete exercise freak. She gets up at 4.30am to run for an hour or so and then she will run during lunch and run and cycle at night time for hours. She can't keep still and is always complaining she hasn't excercised enough.

In terms of sleep she gets about 4 hours a night and will never sleep with the lights out or door closed. In fact she showers with the door open. Even though I have pointed out the shower thing and she has actually denied she does it, she still does it! I don't know if this means anything....

When she has been away at her mums she will complain that her mum keeps on trying to feed her. This is when I notice more than usual that her bathroom smells like acid, or cleaner, or something not very nice. Last night after being at her mums she complained about feeling sick from eating and I'm nearly positive she was throwing up. She would go to the bathroom and run the tap but not always flush the toilet. Eventually she started closing the toilet door afterwards and I'm sure I could smell something. Each time she came out she would make some sort of tea (with no milk of course) and make a drama out of eating seaweed paper really loudly. She drank about 7 cups of tea last night.

I asked her last night if she had an eating disorder and she said "oh I know I can seem like that but of course I don't". She has a habit of lying about many things so I didn't really believe her but I don't really know her that well so am not sure how hard to press her.

She has just finished a law degree and prior to finishing I had asked her to move out when she finally finished as I found it hard to live with her. Now she has finished but recently quit her job due to "bullying" by her boss so now I don't want to ask her to move out for two reasons...1/ she hasn't got a new job yet, and 2/ I'm thinking she has bulimia or anorexia or something and don't want to make things worse...... She doesn't appear to have any close friends (no one has been over in 6 months) so I am unable to talk to her friends or family about this.

So I guess my question is does she have an eating disorder?

If so....what do I do about it?
 
^^ chimp, it definitely sounds like she could have an unhealthy obsession with not only food but exercise. It also sounds like she may have a distorted body image. Being her flatmate you get to see more of the nitty-gritty stuff that goes on in someone's life and from what you've described, I can definitely relate to personally when I was obsessed with not eating food and over-exercising.

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure you can do anything...I know that sounds really harsh because it's obvious you are worried about her and recognise that something's wrong. Does she trust you as a friend? Would she talk to you about something she was worried about? Is she an open kind of person? If the answers to these questions are no, then unfortunately I think your chances of personally being able to help her are slim...

Do you have any way of contacting her mum or close friends? If you do, tell them that you think there might be something wrong because you never see her eat much and she is always exercising. Then maybe they can take it from there.
 
Thanks, n3ophy7e. I'd agree that she has a distorted body image and is definately obsessed with food and exercise. I just don't know how much is too much and how obsessed she really is.

She is the type of person to say a lot but not mean a lot if you know what I mean. She likes to talk a lot but only about how busy she is and talks to herself about what she is doing next. We don't have the type of relationship where we chat about stuff when home together. I tried to forge that early on but found it difficult as she is very superficial and totally uninteresting to me. We are nice to each other and never fight or anything but we would never hang out together outside the house....

I guess I want to get her help but not be the one to actually be helping her.... I know that sounds harsh but it's true.

I will try to get in touch with her mum although have no idea how to do that. Thanks for your advice! :)
 
Chopped chimp, sounds like a classic eating disorder and you sound amazingly perceptive! Well done on noticing the small details you have. I completely understand that you want her to get help, but you don't want to be the one to give it directly. So natural and it doesn't sound like direct help from you is very appropriate anyway.

I definitely agree find someone she is close to and make sure they know, in no uncertain terms, everything you just wrote down. Maybe you could just give them that even. You've definitely picked up on something, it's really great you want to help.

One thing - don't ever try to force her not to act on her eating disorder. Like, say if you hear her throwing up, don't go banging on the door. Talk to her about it after. It's too distressing for her otherwise.

I think you might be in a good position to show her some kindness. She might not get that very often.
 
I've just had a really hard time not putting myself on a starvation diet. Less than 500 calories a day. But I keep telling myself that it won't make me any happier.
 
No, it won't make you happier - it'll prolong the shittiness, and make it even shittier. The only way to feel good is to let go, and fake it, until you get enough real things making you feel good about yourself the way you are.

For what it's worth, you by nooooo means need to go on any bit of weight whatsoever. Try to think about all the compliments you've gotten from your last few lots of photos - I for one wouldn't think you were so gorgeous if you looked like a walking skeleton in them. You're beautiful as you are, you really are. And you've got some control at the moment, no? Of other parts of your life, like work. Don't bring things back down where they were.
 
MidnightBaby said:
Chopped chimp, sounds like a classic eating disorder and you sound amazingly perceptive! Well done on noticing the small details you have. I completely understand that you want her to get help, but you don't want to be the one to give it directly. So natural and it doesn't sound like direct help from you is very appropriate anyway.

I definitely agree find someone she is close to and make sure they know, in no uncertain terms, everything you just wrote down. Maybe you could just give them that even. You've definitely picked up on something, it's really great you want to help.

One thing - don't ever try to force her not to act on her eating disorder. Like, say if you hear her throwing up, don't go banging on the door. Talk to her about it after. It's too distressing for her otherwise.

I think you might be in a good position to show her some kindness. She might not get that very often.
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Thanks MidnightBaby, I'll try to speak to one of her friends. The trouble is that I haven't met anyone except for the guy that helped her move in earlier in the year. We had a conversation last week about me wanting to live by myself and she accepted that pretty easily as she wants to move to a suburb closer to the park she liks to run at. Hopefully when she moves out I can grab the opportunity to talk with whoever she gets to help her move.

I feel so sorry for people with eating disorders as it seems like such a lonely thing to have and I can imagine it really messes with your head.

Lots of <3 to anyone that is currently dealing with this sort of thing.
 
MidnightBaby said:
No, it won't make you happier - it'll prolong the shittiness, and make it even shittier. The only way to feel good is to let go, and fake it, until you get enough real things making you feel good about yourself the way you are.

For what it's worth, you by nooooo means need to go on any bit of weight whatsoever. Try to think about all the compliments you've gotten from your last few lots of photos - I for one wouldn't think you were so gorgeous if you looked like a walking skeleton in them. You're beautiful as you are, you really are. And you've got some control at the moment, no? Of other parts of your life, like work. Don't bring things back down where they were.
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Its just kinda sad that I don't see that. AS I was getting dressed the other night, everything made me look fat. It really irked me.
 
It is it's really fucking sad! Unfortunately it comes with the territory. You've gotta realise that what you see isn't what everybody else sees. In effect, what you see isn't true. Think about this- I don't feel attractive either, and for a long time n3ophy7e didn't, nor Perpetual_Indulgence, nor iwish. Does that mean they ARE fat/unattractive/unlikeable??
 
You made you look fat...it is in your head. This week has been a carb loading fest without much exercise. Although the carbs I eat are complex they also contribute to further fatigue. Low energy for me means poor self reflection equals irritability and anger which results in excessive eating. I am becoming more aware how proper diet and exercise affects the way I think and feel so I can get out of or avoid these cycles.

Foods high in carbohydrates have the ability to reduce your energy. Since carbs take more energy to digest, you are actually going to feel an overall reduction in your energy level.

I got back on track yesterday. When I looked in the mirror I thought my ankles looked bloated. I KNOW that wasn't true but that is what I saw in the mirror. I went to the gym, ate well all day, and felt much better.
 
i had anorexia... and when i started to eat more i started bulimia and it was sooo tiring and i was scared of dying bc i'm a hypochondriac. now i'm into binge eating. i eat so much candy and it is disgusting. i just want to be healthy... and everyone tells me i look better than i did when i was 98 lbs (which i don't believe) but i think each day i am starting to feel a little better jsut by tryin to accept myself. it's hard though bc now i live in new york city and i see beautiful model thin people everywhere. but whatever. and i still think everyday i should try to lose a few lbs. it's hard but we need to realize we have a warped impression and we need to find people who can support and not judge us. <3
 
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