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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

^probly a gd thing u dont exercise too much if ur that skinny
i will warn u of one thing tho
wen i was wasting away on meth i was told by my doctors that after awhile, wen u run out of fat, ur body starts burning up muscle instead
and not just muscle around ur arms and legs etc - muscle around ur organs
u can end up with heart, lung, kidney problems, etc
so even if u use drugs heavily its best to make sure u force down some food
the same issue is wat usually ends up killing anorexics, and why they r often hospitalised
 
^very true, and good advice - dxm, YOU NEED VITAMINS, NUTRIENTS, AND ENERGY FOR YOUR BODY TO LIVE. it's very simple. please, if it's possibble for you (i.e you don't have a full-blown ed) work at forcing yourself to eat nutrient-rich food, until you don't have to force it anymore. Our bodies are pretty damn good to us considering the shit we put them through! Return that goodwill!
 
Does anyone else who is slowly letting go/has let go of their ed, feel kinda like you have to grieve for it or something? Like suddenly it's just not there like it once was. And, i guess, just really lost without it?

I feel like I don't have anything to follow anymore to get me out of this shitful place. Or the strict motivation to make me get up and do the things I know will help. (Or even the motivation not to do the things I know will make me miserable.)

I hate where i am, but I'm suddenly realising i dont have the means to get me out anymore.

I was thinking the other day, all philosophical about what and who I am. And you know what I came up with? I'm simply all the things I used to loathe about myself with almost every conscious thought.

How're you sposed to be healthy from that? There's a huge part of who I am that's going away. A part I was proud of, and feels like the only part I liked.
 
^^ I think I also had one of those moments to. A few years ago, I realized the exact same thing as you said. I was already depressed from all the pressures of teenage life and that realization put even more pressure on me. Luckily I got out of that depressive phase and I think I'm mentally healthier. But that dosnt mean that I dont have problems anymore, social anxiety is one Im having great trouble with these days...
I hope you can get over that way of thinking, thinking too much about these issues can be helpful but sometimes It just creats a big mess. Live a healthy life and do what makes you happy.


thanks loads for the advice and the cyber love!! Seriously, I love this place, I wish I had joined a long time ago.

And ya I take vitamins and do force myself to eat sometimes but I think I'm doing far from enough...
and to drug wench: the thing with exercise, my parents have a different opinion on that, they think if I were to work out more Id have a bigger apetite when I do eat. eh, who knows... only time will tell.
Again, thanks for all the advice, all the lovely people here. ahhhh I feel right at home.
 
/raises hand

Binge eater here. For most of my life really. I had been getting it under fairly good control, albeit with occasional lapses, until I went to therapy. Now it looks like I finally have control over the amount of food that I eat. Other than a single (and very minor) binge a couple of weeks ago, I've been pretty good.

It actually frightened me at one point. It was like I could only watch as my hands shovelled more and more food into my mouth, usually faster than I could swallow. Eventually I'd have to stop to give peristalsis enough time to get the food into my stomach (usually aided with a glass of water). That was my chance to get away from the food and re-centre myself.

Thanks to a good diet, increasing exercise, and a period late last year when I stopped eating (a whole other story :p ) I'm now at a point where I feel okay about my body. 6'2", 200ish lbs, 19%BF. If I can get my ass on my bike a bit more often, I hope that I can get down to 15% by the end of summer, and work on getting to 10% by the end of next summer.
 
MidnightBaby said:
How're you sposed to be healthy from that? There's a huge part of who I am that's going away. A part I was proud of, and feels like the only part I liked.
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MB, i just want u to know that although u feel there was only that one likeable part of u, there is a lot else to like
ur a warm, compassionate, intelligent person who is a wonderful member of this community - ever since u joined ive really thought 'this is an awesome person'
if u were in NZ i wud really want to get to know u in real life
i am a creature of self-loathing too
its taken me a long time to b able to look myself in the mirror (i hate my skin, my nose, my hair, so on, so on) and i often find myself thinking im stupid cos im not academic-intelligent
but i know that cos ive bn thru hard times i can b compassionate
that is one thing i can like about myself
and u hav that and more!
so give urself a break, hun! ur worth it! <3
 
wow, thanks for that awesome msg DW :) you seriously seem to have your head so screwed on - a bit off topic but it's hard to imagine people not forgiving your past when they can see what u r now and all your hard work.

Dave - good stuff on getting ontop of the bingeing- not easy! You still seem very highly body focussed, and though yes that can certainly be healthy, be careful. It's easy to just transition from one ed to another. all the best!
 
Oh, I know. I wasn't kidding about the not eating bit. That was more a response to anxiety and IBS, but the pendulum was definitely swinging in the wrong direction there.

I'll always be body focused. Luckily, it's not as negative as it was, but it's always on my mind.

And thanks for the kind words :)
 
I totally don't give a shit about bingeing anymore. I am happy to say that I am over it. I understand the feelings/thoughts that caused it and the feelings/thoughts that kept it there. I am no longer stuck in that desperate, angry, guilt filled, addictive, compulsive cycle. I am no longer angry, caustic, or irritable. I am relaxed. I am happy. I am pleased to say this because I never have been able to and MEAN it. Historically, I would have never wanted to share something so secret. I have never felt this calm and aware before in my life. I had no idea how delicious it is ;)

I began therapy in late December and accomplished my goals by mid June. My first session I said I was unhappy and needed the tools to change. I needed someone to help me get where I need to be. Right choice.

I had been thinking about it for a year. My husband one day, 3 years into our relationship, said "look I don't know why you are so hard to please so wound up all the time. It must be exhausting. I don't think you realize you do this but my god you have to realize it. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Being around you makes it hard for me to be me. I never feel good enough for yo. You are so meticulous in your actions. Standards for everything. If things don't go according to an agenda it drives you crazy and mean. Always the devil's advocate. I don't see you consistently happy. I suggest you talk to a professional. I can't help. I am trying...."

He was so right. I did not want to be this person. I was tired. The only things that made me consistently happy was my husband and our pets. I cried. I apologized for my behaviour and hurting his feelings. I told him I didn't feel right inside. I really didn't. The rest is history.

I told her at our last session that I would make an appt for 6 weeks out but may cancel a week prior (courtesy) it if I don't feel it is necessary. She was so happy she met me. She said I was now goal driven in a positive fashion. I am so grateful to her for helping me really understand me....does that make sense?

My life is lovely. Just as I wanted it to be.
 
Perpetual Indulgence said:
I told her at our last session that I would make an appt for 6 weeks out but may cancel a week prior (courtesy) it if I don't feel it is necessary. She was so happy she met me. She said I was now goal driven in a positive fashion. I am so grateful to her for helping me really understand me....does that make sense?

My life is lovely. Just as I wanted it to be.
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That is so inspiring PI :) Thanks for sharing <3

I have relapses of "grieving" for my ED's. Mostly it's when I am depressed, and I wish I could go back to having the strength to not eat for weeks, to have ultimate control over something in my life. But when I'm feeling fine I don't miss it. It's really disturbing when I talk to my boyfriend about those years I was really sick with ED's. He tells me stories that I don't even remember, I was SO UNHAPPY, so totally messed-up in the head. And then I look at photos of me "back then" and I was this skinny little thing, and I remember how fat I used to think I was 8o

Most days I wish I was skinnier than I am. I have put on about 15kg since my skinniest (62kg, I'm 5'11"), and I wish I was about 5kg lighter. I remember how it felt to be skinny, to have my clothes falling off me. I miss that most days.

But then I look at my awesome boobs haha, I didn't have THOSE when I was skinny!! No sir, I had nothin'. Now they're glorious haha.
Observe:
bewbs2.jpg

Hahaha, every time I get sad about not being ultra-skinny, I go and look at these babies =D
 
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And what a nice set of boobies they are!

Congratulations, you sound like you're in healthy, still gorgeous shape anyway - and I bet your boyfriend loves your shape and the new [natural] additions!

I too miss the days of abstinence. It was easy, and there is an inherent satisfaction in denying yourself something - having control. But in reality, it's actually the exact opposite. You can't control the urges within that are driving you to starve yourself.

This has been, for the large part, an uplifting thread. It's so good to hear stories of those who have beaten it, and are on their way to happiness. Keep it up guys, stay healthy and happy.
 
MidnightBaby said:
seconded! haha that's top stuff n3o =D
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Agreed! If there's a more convincing argument against anorexia/bulimia, I can't think of one :)
 
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