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TDS Eating Disorders Megathread

Hmm, yeah ive / still do an eating disorder somewhat.

I have always had issues with my weight and still do. Since my parents got divorced, 11 years ago, i used food for comfort way too often. Since 10 id say, ive had terrible terrible self image, zero self esteem and no confidence. I fake them very well though which makes me all the more miserable. I used food as an escape and never seemed to know when to stop, but even now, unconsciously which is what fucking annoys me is that i still turn to food for comfort. My parents' comments never helped either. :| But i have lost weight, still am, and slowly i feel better about myself, when i can wear things that otherwise would have made me feel fat - its a nice pleasing feeling. Its hard, and i think that over-eating is just as fucked up as anorexia. The damage done is just as bad and the addiction is just as tight. I dont think i will ever stop using food to comfort myself. I have been better the past few months, the more weight i lose the better i feel about myself, and i can see the results, its kind of a deterrent. But sometimes its just too easy to binge eat and escape it all. :\ And the guilt is so bad. So so so bad sometimes. I remember reading about throwing up your food after you eat when i was about 12. And i tried but couldnt lol (that time anyway)

I turned to drugs, not to lose weight but to escape. For a while i replaced food with drugs -> speed -> ice -> whatever. Thats been an up and down hill battle for 5.5 years. :\ My body image is very bad. My boyfriend said it best when he pointed out that i only ever see the bad, never the good. And its true. I focus SO much on my bad physical features, because i feel they ruin my good features. I really feel that they do. I feel some features are so ugly and so fat that they ruin anything else good i have going for myself. Hm im going to stop, this is making me sad.
 
**hAyzzZZ** said:
Hmm, yeah ive / still do an eating disorder somewhat.

I turned to drugs, not to lose weight but to escape. For a while i replaced food with drugs -> speed -> ice -> whatever. Thats been an up and down hill battle for 5.5 years. :\ My body image is very bad. My boyfriend said it best when he pointed out that i only ever see the bad, never the good. And its true. I focus SO much on my bad physical features, because i feel they ruin my good features. I really feel that they do. I feel some features are so ugly and so fat that they ruin anything else good i have going for myself. Hm im going to stop, this is making me sad.
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Honey, have you tried some counselling?? You really need to change the way you view yourself. You obviously know you have some good features, so you need to learn to focus on them rather than sabotaging your good thoughts with the things you don't like about your body. Some counselling can help you change your thought patterns.

I really really sucks being unhappy about yourself, especially for so many years. It's just miserable! But you can change, you can be happy.

Good luck <3
 
I used to have an eating disorder too. It was never formally diagnosed but I used to binge and starve myself. In retrospect, I can see that living in an unhealthy situation and having other stuff going on psychologically was driving me to cope by controlling my food intake. It was only after getting psychotherapy for my anxiety/OCD that my eating disorder went away.

I definitely recommend psychotherapy with a compassionate psychologist. It did wonders for my body image and other problems. Remember, you're never alone!
 
*raises hand* i'm anorexic.. kinda relapsing. last time i found that stabilising everything else that was going around instead of focusing on food helped me recover the most - once i felt okay, then it was just... easier. to eat like a regular person.
but then, of course, everything else goes back to poop and i find myself stepping on the scales again :\
its a hard balance to keep. but im hoping its worth it.
 
I think I might have struggled with one...never dxed
Food and I don't always get along. About a year ago I cut myself to 200 calories a day pickles and water and dropped to 90 pounds.
today, I eat maybe once a day, my hair falls out from no vitamins or protein and the rest of me looks like hell I'm guessing I'm at 105... I don't do it on purpose though...
 
what a sh*tful, horrible, entirely useless thing for so many of us to go through.

solidarirty against food issues sistaz! ha.

so much of what sooooo many of you have said, is exactly the same for me too. how do we fall into the trap?

I went to my Dr again today, for the first time in ages, with a great big list/timeline of all the bad stuff i've done to my body the last yr or so, and what symptoms i got when i was doing it.

He read it, turned a bit white and then kicked into action big time. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing doctor, he truly is an angel. So I feel a ^little^ better, but it's that hard time where you've just gotta stop, re-adjust, and then put one foot in front of the other. Erk. I hate this time. I hate it I hate it and i'll avoid it as long as I can! (I know that's not very conducive to actually getting better.)
 
Pillthrill said:
I think I might have struggled with one...never dxed
Food and I don't always get along. About a year ago I cut myself to 200 calories a day pickles and water and dropped to 90 pounds.
today, I eat maybe once a day, my hair falls out from no vitamins or protein and the rest of me looks like hell I'm guessing I'm at 105... I don't do it on purpose though...
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hmm on purpose or not, i'm sure you know that's not very healthy. reading some of your other posts, sounds like you're struggling with quite a few things as well as food, i'm sorry things are so tough for you hun.

do you want to get better in the food area?
 
MidnightBaby said:
I went to my Dr again today, for the first time in ages, with a great big list/timeline of all the bad stuff i've done to my body the last yr or so, and what symptoms i got when i was doing it.

He read it, turned a bit white and then kicked into action big time. I'm so lucky to have such an amazing doctor, he truly is an angel.
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That's so awesome Midnight, it's a big step in the right direction!! <3
Good doctors are the best huh? I'm in the same boat, I've found a winner :)

steelcandyfloss said:
its a hard balance to keep. but im hoping its worth it.
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It is a hard balance to keep! And it IS worth it!!! You know it is :)
Stay strong girl <3
 
Well

Well I hit a wall of depression for about a year about a year 3 months ago and I didn't eat at home at all. I used to be really into sports and stuff then i got depressed and completely stopped, I went from 90kg to about 58kg at 5'11" that's not a good thing. :| I never reached bolaemia or anything but I'm back at 70kg now.
 
MidnightBaby said:
hmm on purpose or not, i'm sure you know that's not very healthy. reading some of your other posts, sounds like you're struggling with quite a few things as well as food, i'm sorry things are so tough for you hun.

do you want to get better in the food area?
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I do, my bf worries and just wants me to be healthy. I try to eat something...although potato chips and icecream isn't good. I tried to eat whtaever my mom puts on the table when she cooks...
 
n3ophy7e said:
Honey, have you tried some counselling?? You really need to change the way you view yourself. You obviously know you have some good features, so you need to learn to focus on them rather than sabotaging your good thoughts with the things you don't like about your body. Some counselling can help you change your thought patterns.

I really really sucks being unhappy about yourself, especially for so many years. It's just miserable! But you can change, you can be happy.

Good luck <3
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I have had alot of counselling before, for everything except this. I cant talk about this to strangers face-to-face. Its very embarrassing for me for some reason. I just feel ashamed to even admit it to someone that wont get it. Maybe they will, i dont know but i dont really care tbh.
 
The more I think about it, if Mary Jane was legal it could be used to treat disordered eating. I mean its not going to work with REALLY serious cases where they won't eat NO MATTER how hungry they may be, but in situations like mine where I never seem to be really hungry getting the muchies at least forces me to take in calories that I otherwise wouldn't, although I find the munchies uncomfortable
 
Have you thought about seeing a dietician pillthrill?

If you find one with eating disorder experience, whether or not you've been diagnosed with an ed, then you can tell her exactly whats going on, tell her your problems with food, and you can both work around that. Maybe you can get plans and stuff based on what you can/can't manage to eat. Harm Minimisation i guess ha! You're eating weird, but at least you might be able to eat as best you can given the circumstances. Just a thought - very worth it if you're worried about your health, which doesn't sound top notch :\
 
No, but I don't think it would be possible... I have no job right now and I can't even get my parents to front the $ for chiropractor which I do need for the headaches and back pain...I just don't complain that much about it...
 
^God. Well, come on here as much as you like and vent or ramble, or don't :) I'm always happy to listen or just chat. PM or MSN too if you like. You feelin' any good tonight?
 
n3ophy7e said:
That's so awesome Midnight, it's a big step in the right direction!! <3
Good doctors are the best huh? I'm in the same boat, I've found a winner :)


It is a hard balance to keep! And it IS worth it!!! You know it is :)
Stay strong girl <3
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N3o you're a darling :) I hope you're still going well.

I've started on some anti-depressants called Luvox, an SSRI, and BAM! my urges to overeat have gone..! It's only my second day taking it, so I've taken like half a tablet each day. Seems really fast I don't know whether it's the medication or just my brain snapping back into good mode. Whatever it is I like it :) hooray!

It's made me really anxious though, it's horrible. Has anyone else had the same thing? Gotten heaps more anxious at first when starting to take an SSRI?
 
I think SSRIs are the devil personally. They made what they were treating worse... Buspar which is a not addictive way of treating anxiety made me way more anxious..I told the Dr. and she tried to up, hello? are you listening at all??
 
SSRIs make anxiety worse for the first 2 weeks - thats why often they r prescribed with a benzo
i agree with pillthrill tho - theyre the devil
pillthrill - r u a heavy pot-smoker? cos if so, that cud explain some of the eating problems believe it or not
yes, pot gives u the munchies, but then the food u crave usually is total junk
and often in between the times ur stoned it can give u nausea cos ur body becomes used to needing it to eat - trust me, i used to b that way.....id need marijuana to eat, then wen i wud eat, id eat shit food
one thing that might help ur eating problem in particular (and also help ur depression) wud b a detox from pot (at least 6 weeks) - ull start off more depressed, anxious and possibly a bit nauseous but within the first couple of weeks this will hav improved markedly and ull b eating normally
the bonus at the end (if u go back to using just recreationally, not daily, esp several times daily) is that itll make u high and ull always get the munchies and feel happy on it
im only assuming ur a regular pot-smoker btw, correct me if im wrong - its just that i kinda had eating problems like that with pot, even before i started using meth which definitely fucked with my eating
 
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