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EADD Gibberings CXXX v.Kids, Who'd 'Ave Em?

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I've just found out that I broke my leg on holiday in June and walked around, danced, ran, jumped and generally acted the cunt on it until it got better of its own accord. Nails, me.
 
Broken legs are famously unproblematic. 90% of all rugby players currently playing at any time have broken legs, FACT! It's the feet that get you.


Pretty sure Usain Bolt's legs were broken during the London Olympics too.
 
Ben, good to know you've been grinning, and carefree :)

I'm sorry I was wrong when I said I had quornages in the fridge, all I had was sausages - so I ate them :|

Feel slightly better but not as good as if I'd had proper quornages.

Thank you Knock. It's good feeling good. But wait! No Qournages. I feel your pain. Well I do have one in the bag, but one? Why did I leave one? I mean you can't have a sandwich with just one Quornage can you?

Just in jobcentre about to sign on see what crap they come out with today. CYA soon people.

How long do they leave you sat there twiddling your thumbs now Maxalfie?

I've just found out that I broke my leg on holiday in June and walked around, danced, ran, jumped and generally acted the cunt on it until it got better of its own accord. Nails, me.

Blimey. Bionic man. With the added benefit of cornering at high speeds down to the odd angle you leg now petrudes at. I did something like that. Had a bad foot for ages then gave in and went to casualty. Been walking round on a broken foot for ages. The Doctor was impressed with the x-ray and said he was going to show his colleagues. Around the bone the image was all fuzzy and he said you only normally see this from soldiers. Made me feel big tough and macho.
 
Really? Are these actual truths? Maybe I'm not as tough as I thought.

Yes. Geoff Hurst's World Cup winning hat-trick, Franz Klammer World Champion downhill skier 1980 and Princess Di's wedding are other famous examples of things accomplished with broken legs.
 
The Doctor was impressed with the x-ray and said he was going to show his colleagues.

Ha, I love the feeling of being a medical curiosity. I think it plays on my childhood belief (probably not a unique one) that I was destined to develop superpowers.

Yes. Geoff Hurst's World Cup winning hat-trick, Franz Klammer World Champion downhill skier 1980 and Princess Di's wedding are other famous examples of things accomplished with broken legs.

You're pulling my... nob. You must be, right?
 
Sankeys Manchester finally closing its doors, again.. Oh well its been a load of cack lately anyway, focusing on the club in Ibiza now.
 
Just noticed, while I was fucked last night someone did the dishes! It's not the first time either. Often happens when I've "gone overboard".

Thank you dishdrug fairy!
 
^ must've been your latest murder victim before you did them in and got rid of the body before you sobered up :)
 
That makes more sense than pretending that I did them, anyway, and it would explain the trail of blood down the stairs, and the fact that my car is not where I thought I'd left it.
 
Ben So Furry said:
How long do they leave you sat there
twiddling your thumbs now Maxalfie?
They used to leave me sitting around for ages sometimes Ben but now I give them 5-10mins after my appt time was due then if I'm still not being seen then I found that if I start to masturbate where I am sitting that they suddenly get me signed on and outta there pretty sharpish.
 
Well I do have one in the bag, but one? Why did I leave one? I mean you can't have a sandwich with just one Quornage can you?

Now, that is a valid complaint. The bastards sell them in packs of five. You can only really have two on a roll, or a sandwich (sliced lengthwise), so without fail you're left with a spare quornage.

The only solution is to buy another five pack. It's like feeding a drug habit.
 
They used to leave me sitting around for ages sometimes Ben but now I give them 5-10mins after my appt time was due then if I'm still not being seen then I found that if I start to masturbate where I am sitting that they suddenly get me signed on and outta there pretty sharpish.

Hahahahaa Max, brilliant, I'll remember that one next time I'm waiting at a parents evening. =D

Now, that is a valid complaint. The bastards sell them in packs of five. You can only really have two on a roll, or a sandwich (sliced lengthwise), so without fail you're left with a spare quornage.

The only solution is to buy another five pack. It's like feeding a drug habit.

I know Knock, they know what they are up to these Quorn fellas. Sliced length ways is the way of course as standard with all sausage or Quornage food stuff.

How's your hangover man?
 
What is Quorn made from?
I'm sure they used to give it to us in prison in things such as stew as it's cheaper to use than meat.
From what I recall I didn't taste too bad, better than the dodgy green meat we got at times anyway.
 
Soya protein I think Max. Not that I know what that is. Obviously they add herbs and things to the sausages or 'Quornages' as we now call them.

How are you doing now mate? All done down the Job Center?

Oh and fuck, arse and big hairy donkey bollocks. Just spilt a load of GBL and it's proceeded to strip the outside of everything it touched. I have a leather case for my phone and its now all over my fucking hands. Jesus Christ that stuff strong. Fucking hell, I can't believe I ingest the stuff after seeing it make short work of everything it came into contact with. I'm going to clean up my community and clean up all the graffiti. Well I needed some space to leave my own tag tbh.

Yeah my town is going to be covered with the word 'Benjaminge' from now on. Dawg.
 
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