Drugs opened up a window of perception that was better off closed

[1ll0gic]

It's not news that drugs and cognition go hand-in-hand. Drug use has lead me to different realms of my mind that I never thought existed. Through my journey of drug use thus far, my perception of life, and everything that life consists of, has been greatly altered. My mind is at a higher level of awareness and consciousness than before. Many people embrace drugs because it helps them reach a higher level of spirituality, a new view on life that can only be reached through drug use. However, I believe that ignorance is sometimes truly bliss. I was better off to not have opened up that window, because not everything is bright and radiant on the other side, and now I forever won't be able to close it even if I stopped using drugs.

Thoughts?

 

[Jamshyd]

You're going to have to better explain the view outside that window for us.

Is the view distracting you from doing your daily activities (while sober), or is your social life suffering from such a view?

Or is it that you see something you simply aren't happy to see, and having a difficult time living with seeing every day?

 

[1ll0gic]

You're going to have to better explain the view outside that window for us.

Is the view distracting you from doing your daily activities (while sober), or is your social life suffering from such a view?

Or is it that you see something you simply aren't happy to see, and having a difficult time living with seeing every day?

In simple terms, my years of experiences with drugs have altered my thought-process in a negative way. So yes, you are correct, my sober life is suffering from this new way of thinking (this new window that I speak of). Drugs have made me perceive things in a way I've never perceived before I started doing drugs, and that perception stays when I sober up. Drugs have made me see much more of the "ugly side" of life. Before I started doing drugs, I was more ignorant and less aware of the problems and flaws of my life, but was much happier.

Its basically a "what he doesn't know, won't hurt him" kind of thing.

 

[Jamshyd]

So can you give examples of how this new knowledge is negatively-effecting your sober life? What is new with this knowledge (aside of it being ugly), that wouldn't have been there had this window remained closed?

 

[1ll0gic]

Drug abuse usually results in the lost of "magic" and leads to misery, and that is what happened to me. Once I started feeling this way, I started to think a lot and evaluate my life and notice all the mistakes I've made in the past. All my flaws seem to become more profound. I started having trust issues when I began to question the genuineness of my friends. I pretty much saw myself as a waste of a human body. My outlook on life just became pure negativity. The drug culture looked ugly as hell. Everyone seemed fake. I felt distant and detached from everyone. I started to become extremely self-conscious.

Had this window not been opened, my mindset would've been perfectly fine.

 

[SKL]

Your experience resonates with me because more or less the exact same thing happened to me. I initially embraced drug spirituality as a sort of savior, and thrust myself into a world wherein this was greatly valued, and then I found that I was not "saved," that I had many of the same problems that I had before, and some new ones, as did all of the people around me, and everything seemed fake, and ugly. So I separated myself from it all, and now am more or less sober (minus some suboxone maintenance) and now I occupy myself with the academic study of drugs, not so much their application in life. I think they have huge potential therapeutic benefits but only in a controlled setting, in an uncontrolled setting, I think that experiences like ours are highly likely to wind up happening again, and again, and again. There is some interesting discussion of this at my site in a number of places, which I invite you to check out.

 

[Jamshyd]

Drug abuse usually results in the lost of "magic" and leads to misery, and that is what happened to me. Once I started feeling this way, I started to think a lot and evaluate my life and notice all the mistakes I've made in the past. All my flaws seem to become more profound. I started having trust issues when I began to question the genuineness of my friends. I pretty much saw myself as a waste of a human body. My outlook on life just became pure negativity. The drug culture looked ugly as hell. Everyone seemed fake. I felt distant and detached from everyone. I started to become extremely self-conscious.

Had this window not been opened, my mindset would've been perfectly fine.

I understand what you mean.

There is one thing I know for sure: the ability to actually identify a problem within one's self, and admit it, is the MOST difficult step in solving it.

The window had been opened. It cannot be unopened. It also cannot be ignored, as it is letting in all manner of bugs. What can you do to remedy this? Perhaps install a screen?

My personal advice would be to try and see how you can turn this into a learning experience, and how to remember not to repeat the same mistakes again.

 

[rickolasnice]

Drug abuse usually results in the lost of "magic" and leads to misery, and that is what happened to me. Once I started feeling this way, I started to think a lot and evaluate my life and notice all the mistakes I've made in the past. All my flaws seem to become more profound. I started having trust issues when I began to question the genuineness of my friends. I pretty much saw myself as a waste of a human body. My outlook on life just became pure negativity. The drug culture looked ugly as hell. Everyone seemed fake. I felt distant and detached from everyone. I started to become extremely self-conscious.

Had this window not been opened, my mindset would've been perfectly fine.

It sounds like you might be suffering from depression?

Eat healthy and exercise.

This new view of yours isn't necessarily correct, but then it might not be necessarily wrong. You're just looking at things in a really negative way and making yourself believe they are more important than what they actually are..

What drugs were you using? MDMA / Amphetamines?

 

[Legerity]

Seeing the ugliness of life is a necessary part of being whole, whether it is pleasant or not. This gives you the opportunity to accept and make peace with it. You do not need to get caught in it and spend the rest of your life being miserable, it can simply be a temporary transition until you reach a point of greater acceptance.

I can relate to what you are saying because I'm currently in the process of opening up my awareness to new things and experiencing difficult emotions that have pushed back for a while. It's not a pretty process but I don't really see any way around it.

Seeing and exploring the darkness is necessary in order to appreciate the goodness within and around us. When one of these is suppressed so is the other, and our energy is diverted to keeping things out of our awareness rather than allowing us to experience the full richness of our moment to moment experience.

 

[Jabberwocky]

drugs have opened my mind. for example i really appreaciated and noticed how complex nature, earth, etc was after i shroomed during the day and walked around outside

 

[1ll0gic]

It sounds like you might be suffering from depression?

Eat healthy and exercise.

This new view of yours isn't necessarily correct, but then it might not be necessarily wrong. You're just looking at things in a really negative way and making yourself believe they are more important than what they actually are..

What drugs were you using? MDMA / Amphetamines?

Depression is exactly what I have. Now that my perception has been forever altered, I fear my depression will be irreversible. I used to be heavy on MDMA, shrooms, xanax, vicodins, and weed-abuse (as in I would still smoke even though I started to get the infamous weed "anxiety")

 

[rickolasnice]

^ Yah i started gettin alot of negative affects from drugs i normally love after MDMA / amphetamine / cannabis abuse. I'd hate myself, the world, everything.. paranoia, anxiety, depression, everything..

It goes away.. just eat healthy, excercise and abstain from drug usage for a while.. thing's aren't as dark as you think they are

Good luck..

 

[malakaix]

Once I started feeling this way, I started to think a lot and evaluate my life and notice all the mistakes I've made in the past. All my flaws seem to become more profound. I started having trust issues when I began to question the genuineness of my friends. I pretty much saw myself as a waste of a human body. My outlook on life just became pure negativity. The drug culture looked ugly as hell. Everyone seemed fake. I felt distant and detached from everyone. I started to become extremely self-conscious.

Had this window not been opened, my mindset would've been perfectly fine.

I can relate here with your experience, but understand that it is often through pain and suffering that we learn and develop.

Your flaws have become more profound because they are no longer masked, but present.

You also began to question the genuineness behind your friends, maybe these friends were reflections of who you use to be and not who you want to be..

I have found with myself, the extreme self-consciousness is a byproduct of wearing your issues on your sleeve for they are now a present part of your consciousness and will remain so until they are gracefully accepted and integrated.

I have become distant from friends, from the drug scene i was an active participant of, I've been through bouts of depression and mania, the life i knew years ago is but a distant memory.. and during this time i was unable to understand why this was happening and believed i had ruined apart of myself.. when in fact i was been guided by my own awareness to move on from old unfulfilling activities, so that i could pursue more enriching en-devours.

Take your time with understanding your altered perception; it may seem hopelessly painful right now.. but this too shall pass.

 

[DOB]

It's not news that drugs and cognition go hand-in-hand. Drug use has lead me to different realms of my mind that I never thought existed. Through my journey of drug use thus far, my perception of life, and everything that life consists of, has been greatly altered. My mind is at a higher level of awareness and consciousness than before. Many people embrace drugs because it helps them reach a higher level of spirituality, a new view on life that can only be reached through drug use. However, I believe that ignorance is sometimes truly bliss. I was better off to not have opened up that window, because not everything is bright and radiant on the other side, and now I forever won't be able to close it even if I stopped using drugs.

Thoughts?

no seriously,same thing happened to me,same ideas travelled trough my mind.Theres more than one level and more than one direcion of mind expansion,trough it may not seem all bright and radiant,if you get to the ultimate level of ultimate direction of mind expansion,the so called Satori,the darknes of lower levels will disapear,it will not be all good but it will be all god and that is zilion times better than any bliss comming from darknes

 

[Tomer]

Am I the only here that thinks his "view" on life has not drastically changed at all, but simply his abuse of drugs have depleted him, leading him into depression.

I don't think your view of the world is different at all. I just think you abused the hell out of the cocktail of drugs you were using. Now you're facing the music.

 

[DOB]

Am I the only here that thinks his "view" on life has not drastically changed at all, but simply his abuse of drugs have depleted him, leading him into depression.

I don't think your view of the world is different at all. I just think you abused the hell out of the cocktail of drugs you were using. Now you're facing the music.

you can never know,brain is so complex... theres so much more than depresion or ugly realization.It isnt like its this or that,we know nothing about this person.I think it isnt just depresion

 

[Tomer]

DOB, fair enough. It is unfair for me to be so quick to judge.

How have you been, by the way? I will never forget you keeping me at ease while I was on lucy a while back.

 

[Changed]

I've found that if you stop using psychedelic drugs, you eventually return to a some-what normal state.

I had the opposite experience-- total bliss for a while, but things have returned to slightly higher than baseline (so to speak) after I quit using psychedelics.

In the end, I think you'll be the better for this experience...

 

[DOB]

DOB, fair enough. It is unfair for me to be so quick to judge.

How have you been, by the way? I will never forget you keeping me at ease while I was on lucy a while back.

who you are? did we ever had some interesting experience together on this forum? I dont remember,how have I been? bad man,I wish to die but I my self preservation instinct is like prison cell for me,pushing me futher on the way of life witch is one big nightmare for me

 

[1ll0gic]

Am I the only here that thinks his "view" on life has not drastically changed at all, but simply his abuse of drugs have depleted him, leading him into depression.

I don't think your view of the world is different at all. I just think you abused the hell out of the cocktail of drugs you were using. Now you're facing the music.

My view has definitely changed in a drastic way when contrasting the pre-drugs me and the post-drugs me. But you're absolutely right, I did abuse drugs and I am depressed and I now have to pay for it. Through all those experiences, I've gone to realms of my mind that only drugs could have taken me there, and now that I have been there I can never undo what I have seen (this is just a vague expression, I didn't literally see Lucifer or something). This is something I have to live with.

By the way, good replies by everyone, thanks