Divine Moments
Bluelight Crew
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- Dec 28, 2009
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- 1,782
^ ok sorry, I must have misunderstood what you said. All good 
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AADD Moderators: Tronica
Drugs and your Significant Other
- Thread starter footscrazy
- Start date
p-man
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Apr 12, 2011
- Messages
- 241
Not sure about the rest of ya's, but IME. If there's a problem in the relationship to do with drugs, 9/10 times. That drug is meth
Most of my friends are in relationships, and there's only ever been one drug that has ever gotten between the two of them. So many lies and secrets that I've seen on both parts, sorta makes me sick. Not sure where I'm headed since I haven't read any of the above posts (yet).. but just thought I'd add my 2c for now.
Most of my friends are in relationships, and there's only ever been one drug that has ever gotten between the two of them. So many lies and secrets that I've seen on both parts, sorta makes me sick. Not sure where I'm headed since I haven't read any of the above posts (yet).. but just thought I'd add my 2c for now.
piebald
Bluelighter
wellllllllll...i seen some crackheads get kicked out-oxys seem to have a long term negative effect as does heroin...cokeheads are a pain in the ass..and uhh..what am i forgetting? ok so ive never seen a ghb breakup or a molecule divorce..im sure its happened though...a psilocybin seperation?? ok ill stop im queer sorry
piebald
Bluelighter
i was just jokin with u-meth sucks obviously has to do with where you live and whats around..we don't get to much meth up in these parts.booze will kill a relationship deader than dead too..nothing worse than a drunk angry pissing fool
An Old Bitch
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 8, 2011
- Messages
- 12
Me and my husband both started out doing coke for a couple of years. Switch to "cat", did that for about 8 years. Unfortunately he got so paranoid and totally rockers that he nearly killed me one day. That same day, he quite cold turkey. He's now clean for 5 months. I still use, he has no problem with that, although sometimes I miss the things we did together when high.
yagecero
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2011
- Messages
- 312
I think that it's indispensable that there is complete understanding in a relationship. So for me, it doesn't matter whether or not a SO uses, but that they understand. I had a long relationship with a girl that didn't like to get drunk or high (in any way) and even though she tried to accept what I was doing (at the time, not much: occasionally tripping alone or with friends and daily pot use), in the end it would manifest as frustration on her behalf.
The funny this was that in the beginning I didn't smoke in front of her (she knew I smoked), but I was always very high. As time went on, I thought that it'd be cool to smoke in front of her, but when she saw me smoking she'd perceive me as being higher than I was. So I could sit around with mates and smoke 5 - 6 joints and then go and visit her with no problems, but if I smoked one decent-sized-spliff in front of her she'd think I were far more stoned than I was.
I really think it comes down to understanding. MDMA with a partner is always good for a bit o' the old understanding
The funny this was that in the beginning I didn't smoke in front of her (she knew I smoked), but I was always very high. As time went on, I thought that it'd be cool to smoke in front of her, but when she saw me smoking she'd perceive me as being higher than I was. So I could sit around with mates and smoke 5 - 6 joints and then go and visit her with no problems, but if I smoked one decent-sized-spliff in front of her she'd think I were far more stoned than I was.
I really think it comes down to understanding. MDMA with a partner is always good for a bit o' the old understanding
drug_mentor
Bluelight Crew
For me personally it isn't really so much whether my partner uses drugs or to what extent but rather that they are accepting of my choices so long as those choices don't have a negative impact on them. While at this point in my life I would find it hard to envision myself being truly compatable with someone who doesn't use drugs at all as right now they take up a larger portion of my life than they should and I feel this would have a particulalrly large impact on a relationship with a non drug using woman.
The extent to which they abuse drugs is irrelevant, so long as they are not the drug elitist type to abuse the shit out of one drug and then put unneccessary stigma on another than I may be using. I would have to say that I would prefer my partner not use as many drugs as I do, but at the same time I would be a hypocrite not to be accepting of it if they did.
I definately don't view girls who like their substances as loose or any other negative thing, but in my experience this is a commonly held view among males including ones who are fairly heavy drug users themselves. I would say that I have seldom come across women that I would actually be interested in who use drugs heavily and/or are accepting of 'harder' drugs like meth and heroin.
The extent to which they abuse drugs is irrelevant, so long as they are not the drug elitist type to abuse the shit out of one drug and then put unneccessary stigma on another than I may be using. I would have to say that I would prefer my partner not use as many drugs as I do, but at the same time I would be a hypocrite not to be accepting of it if they did.
I definately don't view girls who like their substances as loose or any other negative thing, but in my experience this is a commonly held view among males including ones who are fairly heavy drug users themselves. I would say that I have seldom come across women that I would actually be interested in who use drugs heavily and/or are accepting of 'harder' drugs like meth and heroin.
SpiritFolk
Bluelighter
I am getting married to a girl who has no history if drug use, I didn't plan it that way as I come from a heavy background of opiate and ice addiction and thought I wouldn't be able to be with somone who didn't understand what that is like. However I have since wanted to stop this addictive behavior as I know in the end it will only kill me, and have found being with someone really straight has helped me keep a healthy perspective on life.
I have no problem with my SO (of 4 1/2 years) being a drug user, being one myself.
I enjoy my drugs but only take drugs once a month (tobacco and alchohol excluded). My SOs drug of choice is weed. The problem that I have with her smoking weed is that she smokes more days than not. I wouldn't mind as much if it was spliffs but she prefers bongs. Theres something about bongs that gets to me. I did my time with bongs but grew out of it.
It's not about what drugs my SO uses but how often.
Its been a difficult part of her to accept. I'm still accepting it. I guess i still associate bongs with being lazy and unmotivated.
I don't think I could be with someone who didn't take drugs. It s part of my life and while i could go months in between drugs its something that i enjoy and don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
I enjoy my drugs but only take drugs once a month (tobacco and alchohol excluded). My SOs drug of choice is weed. The problem that I have with her smoking weed is that she smokes more days than not. I wouldn't mind as much if it was spliffs but she prefers bongs. Theres something about bongs that gets to me. I did my time with bongs but grew out of it.
It's not about what drugs my SO uses but how often.
Its been a difficult part of her to accept. I'm still accepting it. I guess i still associate bongs with being lazy and unmotivated.
I don't think I could be with someone who didn't take drugs. It s part of my life and while i could go months in between drugs its something that i enjoy and don't plan on stopping anytime soon.
footscrazy
Bluelight Crew
I would say that is almost entirely your personal experience and in no way based in reality. But I know you said IME
I believe addiction comes between people - specifically, addictions that have to be on some level disfunctional. Meth addiction is rife in Australia which is why it's such a big problem amongst couples atm. But there are plenty of other addictions that are very often disfunctional.
popeyes mate
Bluelighter
I am very glad my boyfriend does not really use, due to the amount and with the frequency I do, as we just could not afford it! I like that we might get on it together occasionally, but most of the time its just me. He has brothers who were big users of both speed and smack so knows how much it can fuck up your life when it gets out of control. 2 users in one house would be out of control.
We live together and I earn more than him, and pay all the bills but I am probably not always as honest about how much I have spent on it, and if I can use it without him knowing I will, but the magority of the time I just tell him, as he just needs to look at me and is like "Your on the gear.."
We both agree one of our most awesome times together was when we were out walking in the bush on E's on a moonlit night, and just getting to know each other, great fun. Festivals etc yep both love getting fucked up.
But we both work, are paying off a house and we do have 2 very young kids. I justify my use as he gets to go "out" and get on the piss a lot with mates and when he is playing footy, where I just dont really go out with friends drinking anymore. And its a good thing in my opinion that I only have one friend that likes to use, and she lives ALONG way away. I have made it my choice to stay at home when on it.
So I guess.. its bad enough its me, but I am REALLY glad it is just me.
We live together and I earn more than him, and pay all the bills but I am probably not always as honest about how much I have spent on it, and if I can use it without him knowing I will, but the magority of the time I just tell him, as he just needs to look at me and is like "Your on the gear.."
We both agree one of our most awesome times together was when we were out walking in the bush on E's on a moonlit night, and just getting to know each other, great fun. Festivals etc yep both love getting fucked up.
But we both work, are paying off a house and we do have 2 very young kids. I justify my use as he gets to go "out" and get on the piss a lot with mates and when he is playing footy, where I just dont really go out with friends drinking anymore. And its a good thing in my opinion that I only have one friend that likes to use, and she lives ALONG way away. I have made it my choice to stay at home when on it.
So I guess.. its bad enough its me, but I am REALLY glad it is just me.
If im getting fucked up, my missus has every right to be doing the same. Although in my last relationship, it was very one sided, i did alot of the getting wasted which in turn fucked our relationship and my life. Finally getting back on track but eh, it was tough.
chugs
Bluelighter
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- Feb 23, 2004
- Messages
- 2,026
that's a line that my SO and I trying to tread careful. but we tend to share the experience and use till we've run out.
the same with me. I have to do the budget but i always make sure that she gets her fair share
we used to drink it up too and get smashed with mates and go clubbin and stuff but these days if we can get some fun time between 8pm and 11pm then we're lucky. i end up doing the same, just chillin at home to save money, and being daddy whilst mummy has a girls night out.
So I guess.. its bad enough its me, but I am REALLY glad it is just me.[/QUOTE]
ha, so true
MrIbis
Bluelighter
@ popeyes mate
Your behavior and is pretty typical of, forgive me for using this word - junkies. You've withdrawn from social circles, you get high alone alot, you justify your use and spending against your partner, and you actively try to deceive them about your use.
That shit is bad. You're headed to a bad place - both in your relationship and later in life.
My life is pretty fucked, and i've been a junkie, probably still am one to a degree - but it no longer is the driving factor in my life - i make an effort to see my friends etc.
Truth be told that when I was with my girlfriend, I became a lot like you - the relationship could really be the problem.
What drugs are you using? how often etc?
I personally would probably have much less interest in drugs if my peer group weren't also heavily into it - also my family are all drug users (yep, every single one of them - except my son). I find it strange you only have one friend who gets high - yet you feel constantly like you want to be high?
Your behavior and is pretty typical of, forgive me for using this word - junkies. You've withdrawn from social circles, you get high alone alot, you justify your use and spending against your partner, and you actively try to deceive them about your use.
That shit is bad. You're headed to a bad place - both in your relationship and later in life.
My life is pretty fucked, and i've been a junkie, probably still am one to a degree - but it no longer is the driving factor in my life - i make an effort to see my friends etc.
Truth be told that when I was with my girlfriend, I became a lot like you - the relationship could really be the problem.
What drugs are you using? how often etc?
I personally would probably have much less interest in drugs if my peer group weren't also heavily into it - also my family are all drug users (yep, every single one of them - except my son). I find it strange you only have one friend who gets high - yet you feel constantly like you want to be high?
chugs
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2004
- Messages
- 2,026
^ I think your being a little harsh MrIbis.
I read popeyes being no less deceptive then a couple who don't have drugs involved. I think its hard to cover up deceptive behaviour with someone you love and clearly her SO would pick it up if he decided to do so. there are lines to be crossed, for sure but I don't see it going that way.
perhaps your interlacing your own experiences into that of hers, and thus reading way too much into it.
The way I see it as long as you discharge your responsibilities, are accountabile for your actions, pay your bills (mostly and do the right thing by yourself and your family then your free to jab yourself however much you want in the arm with a needle (edit: which is what I am going to do right now)
I read popeyes being no less deceptive then a couple who don't have drugs involved. I think its hard to cover up deceptive behaviour with someone you love and clearly her SO would pick it up if he decided to do so. there are lines to be crossed, for sure but I don't see it going that way.
perhaps your interlacing your own experiences into that of hers, and thus reading way too much into it.
The way I see it as long as you discharge your responsibilities, are accountabile for your actions, pay your bills (mostly
and do the right thing by yourself and your family then your free to jab yourself however much you want in the arm with a needle (edit: which is what I am going to do right now)
footscrazy
Bluelight Crew
Why do you find that strange? Most people pride themselves on making their own decisions, and not just using drugs because their friends want to. What I find strange, is that your opinion on whether or not you should be getting high, is based on other people. Ever tried thinking for yourself? Saying you'd have less interest in drugs if your peer group wasn't into it is fairly pathetic and passive at your age.
MrIbis
Bluelighter
It's hard for me to describe because I come from a solid background of drug use - and in all honesty have no clue what it's like to be around straight-edge people most the time.
It's hardly juvenile to feel the way I do - I doubt i'd be so heavily interested in drugs if it wasn't for my peers, I had ZERO interest in drugs as a kid, up til about 15, i was avidly against drug use.
If I were to have only ONE mate out of all the people I knew who took drugs, i'd have a lot less of an interest in taking them all the time.
everyone has different reasons for using drugs, everyone uses them in different ways with varying levels of sociability.
some people get high in company, some do it alone.
getting high alone doesn't sound like it is necessarily a ticket to being a "junkie" (whatever that word even means) - it sounds like a parent with small kids being bored and stuck at home. i don't really think you can assess someone's use and future use with that little information...unless you're just basing it on your own experiences.
i have a lot of friends that don't take drugs, but i'm a fucking hoover.
having said that, i'm very discerning about what i use (no meth,no "ecstasy", no booze, no cigarettes) and i love that my current girlfriend is cool with that. girls i've dated before haven't been so relaxed about it, but they often sighted "previous bad experiences" with stoner/drug-taking boyfriends. lady at the moment has no such preconceived notions, and we occasionally indulge together - but unlike other relationships i've had, it is not something we do together regularly.
my opiate use is about the only thing i'm secretive about...and unfortunately that can't be helped at this stage. fortunately (i guess) i'm a highly functional user. sometimes i think that your drug use is a personal, private thing, so long as it doesn't impact upon others. obviously though, this is a self-justifying, flawed theory. that doesn't mean that it is completely untrue though.
another great thread footscrazy
some people get high in company, some do it alone.
getting high alone doesn't sound like it is necessarily a ticket to being a "junkie" (whatever that word even means) - it sounds like a parent with small kids being bored and stuck at home. i don't really think you can assess someone's use and future use with that little information...unless you're just basing it on your own experiences.
i have a lot of friends that don't take drugs, but i'm a fucking hoover.
having said that, i'm very discerning about what i use (no meth,no "ecstasy", no booze, no cigarettes) and i love that my current girlfriend is cool with that. girls i've dated before haven't been so relaxed about it, but they often sighted "previous bad experiences" with stoner/drug-taking boyfriends. lady at the moment has no such preconceived notions, and we occasionally indulge together - but unlike other relationships i've had, it is not something we do together regularly.
my opiate use is about the only thing i'm secretive about...and unfortunately that can't be helped at this stage. fortunately (i guess) i'm a highly functional user. sometimes i think that your drug use is a personal, private thing, so long as it doesn't impact upon others. obviously though, this is a self-justifying, flawed theory. that doesn't mean that it is completely untrue though.
another great thread footscrazy