You know, some of yall who talk about how you would be OK with smokin weed in the house or around your kids once you have kids....Or that you would be cool with your teenager smokin weed, or doin other drugs....
I just got one thing to point out, and it aint about MY opinion of none of this.
Its the risk you take when as a parent you keep drugs in the house or around your kids, or allow them to use drugs in the house or even worse use with them.
You dont realize just how dangerous it can be until you come closer to a situation where some shit could really go down.
For example. I love smokin weed. I had to stop over a yr ago when i got on probation, but I def. will start smokin again someday once i get off probation.
But the thing is...I am pregnant now, and soon my job, my role in life, is gonna be Mama, not lacey k who can do watever she want.
I am on methadone, and in NJ, its a state law that any baby born positive for methadone, means that the hospital has to notify DYFS (division of youth & family services, basically child protective services.)
So, i aint really worried, but the fact is that DYFS might be involved in my life for a while.
So as much as i would LOVE to be able to smoke bud once I get off probation....
Imagine if they came to my house for a routine random visit and took a piss test (which they do sometimes, as a suprise on the spot type thing) and i pissed dirty for weed?
Obviously not all of yall, got to deal with somethin like that.
But just the fact that you got drugs in your house is hard enough, but USING in your house....
Just imagine this situation.
You are smokin a blunt in your bedroom at night...Your baby is in the crib in its nursery next door. you and your man/woman is about to go to bed and just havin a little puff before bed....And for watever reason, cuz you never fuckin know especially with the crazy neighbors that always seem to be around, the cops come to the door to ask you about (your loud music, your car parked on the wrong side of the street that is blocking your neighbors parking spot, or maybe even becuz somethin you had NOTHING to do with so you cant prevent it--maybe the wifebeater 2 houses down really fucked up his wife this time and someone heard it and called it in, so they are asking around door to door if anybody heard anything to see if there is any witnesses to the crime)....And you open the door just a crack and talk to them, and they smell bud...
And then you, a perfectly loving, capable, and definately competent parent, are in all kind of hot water with DYFS and family court becuz you were doin somethin private, away from your kid....But the kid was in the house with you. And you are the parent.
Or again....
Teenagers can be real assholes....So yall have a bigass fight, one of many that will prolly go down before their teenagerhood is over....And you know how evil kids can get when they fueled up by hormones and frustration n'all that....So your kid that you wanted to be "Cool Dad" with, is busy schemin up the ULTIMATE "FUCK YOU , GUYS!" And you find yourself in trouble when he rats you out to the cops, or to his teacher, or who the fuck ever, "My mom and dad smoke WEED! and they dont even try to HIDE it from me!"
Sure its a shitty, horrible thing to do to a parent but i have heard many parents have that happen to them. teenagers can be real assholes, capable of doin shit to screw you over, piss you off, and make you want to kill them like you can never imagine til you see how far they can go. As much as you raise your kid to "hate pigs" and never talk to the cops, you never know wat they will do when its a situation like they REALLY REALLY REALLY want THEIR WAY about somethin that you refuse to compromise on, or they decided they TOTALLY HATE YOU, MOM!!! becuz of some stupid argument...And they do shit that aint well-thought-out in no type of way, and can REALLY end up screwin over your whole family.
So im sayin , you cant say , "oh, MY kid would NEVER do that! If i had a kid i would raise him not to ever talk to cops! MY kid would never...." and so on. Becuz they capable of some REALLLLY stupid shit.
Or, like teenagers do....They might brag to their friends...."My mom is so cool, she lets us smoke weed in the house", or maybe you even go for the role of "Super, really cool hip mom" and let your son AND his friends smoke in the house. And maybe you know that YOUR kid is cool and can keep it on the low, but maybe his FRIENDS aint. And maybe his friend goes home stankin like bud, and his uppity, old fashioned, ultra-anti-drug folks smell him and be like damn, you high! you on MARIJUANA! Take this piss test right now! We are goin over to Marquise's house RIGHT NOW to talk to his mother and see if she knows wat her son and his friends are doin over there!
And then the parents go over to talk to you...and the house stanks like bud...in the damn LIVIN ROOM...and they realize....SHE KNEW they were doin this, she LET them do it....
And then you in trouble once again.....
Or maybe your kid posts pics of bud on his facebook account like the dumbass young kid she is, or in some other way she lets people know that she smokes at home in the house and when somebody tries to get on her ass about it, she goes "my dad KNOWS, and he LETS me smoke, so mind your own fuckin bizness!"
you never know how word is gonna get out there, kids got a tendency to talk even when they dont mean to, and ESPECIALLY to not think about how their talkin can affect others.
and maybe raisin your kid to be SUPER secret about it, to treat it like some high level confidentail CIA shit, might help--but the attitudes that yall suggestin here sure dont sound like that. It sounds alot more like "Im a proud weed smoker, and Ima let my kid smoke weed, and smoke weed in the house if they want to, and Ima smoke weed with em, and its gonna be great!"
But you gotta think about the CONSEQUENCES of this....
Honestly.....I hate to say it, becuz if my son or daughter ended up bein a weed smoker, i would like to be able to let my kid smoke in the house and do it safely...But the truth is that now that I am actually gonna be a parent FOR REAL and not just "hypothetical parent", i see it different....And truth is, I feel that its kind of irresponsible to allow that kind of shit. Becuz you risking your parental rights, and your house. by allowin them to DO and POSSESS drugs inside the house its on you if the cops end up ever findin shit....And if YOU keep weed inside the house too...Lord have mercy on your family if some shit goes down. Your kid could get arrested or investigated, a warrant could get brought to your house and when they search shit, they find your stash as well as your kids....And now YOU are a "unfit parent".....
And it dont matter how good of a parent you REALLY are. Becuz the fact that you smoke weed in the house, let your kid smoke weed in the house, keep weed in the house, let your kid keep weed in the house, or smoke with your kid, will ALL make you look terrible in court. It dont matter how good of a parent YOU know that you are....Becuz to the people judgin who are only outsiders lookin in, you are a BAD parent.
So no matter how much we all know weed is harmless for the most part...however much we would all like to be able to make our kid comfortable and say "sure kid smoke in the house , rather have yuo do it here than be out somewhere else, or in a car or somethin and get in trouble...." The fact of allowin that kinda shit, or even havin drugs in the house, even on the OFF chance that some of the wrong people just maybe MIGHT find out, puts your family at risk of gettin tore apart.
So it comes down to, are you willing to risk that?
Like i said. You might be the best mom or dad in the world. you could be totally capable and a definately "fit" mother or father. You could be loving and caring and nurturing and all that shit.
but the fact of you gettin caught having drugs in your house , when a child also lives in the house...And especially using drugs in the house, or around your kid, or in front of your kid, or WITH your kid worst of all...just totally washes all that down the drain and makes you look like a horrible parent in the courts eyes. it sucks but its the way it is.
So as much as i love to smoke....as much as I want all those things I said....I aint gonna do it, not as a parent, not no time soon. Once DYFS is out of my life, and AFAIK, they dont get too involved with the methadone reports but just do a routine checkup and investigation, etc, and once I get off probation, then maybe Ill smoke--away from the house, and i sure as hell aint gonna keep my shit in the house. Ill figure out a hidin place on the property, somewhere safe and LOCKED...And i def. aint gonna smoke AROUND my kid. Kids in bed, sleeping already? great...But I aint smokin in the house, not in my room, not nowhere that anybody MIGHT MAYBE catch a wiff of the smell and call the cops even if its a .0001% chance. I dont wanna be high around the baby, and all that stuff. It dont matter that *I* know i can still be a safe responsible mom if i am rocking the baby to sleep after smokin a little L, becuz as far as any caseworker for DYFS, cop, or family court judge is concerned, I cant.
When it comes down to it in the end....My kid is the most important. WAY more important than any drugs. If i can get high from time to time, away from my child, and know that they are safe and sound, that there aint one little speck of drugs in the house that we live in, I hope i get the chance to indulge once in a while.
But I aint willing to risk my house and my family and my rights as a parent just becuz i wanna keep smokin weed. Like i said--it dont matter wat the truth really is, becuz any authority type person who saw you lettin your kid smoke in the house is just gonna see "endangering the welfare of a minor" by "encouraging drug use", etc. So as much as we all know that technically there really aint a whole lot wrong with it, legally you gotta cover your ass at all times.
A parent should always be loving, understanding, there for their kid....they should always be kind and approachable...never too harsh or scary makin a kid too afraid to come to them if they had a problem or question....i think all that goes without sayin...But there is way too much of this "friends" parenting goin on these days...Parents AINT friends, they are parents, and parents and children AINT on the same level. There needs to be a divide in some way, becuz not everything is appropraite to share with your kids.
There aint gotta be secrets and shit like that, it aint gonna be some kind of big wall between yall. But just sayin, there gotta be a understanding of wat kind of shit is ADULT stuff, shit that dont need to get shared, or really SHOULDNT get shared, with your kids. Your 5 year old dont need to know that the cigarette you smoke at bed time is marijuana and mommy smokes it becuz it makes her back hurt less at night. In a ideal world you COULD share that with your kid but in this one at least, you cant becuz of all the possible consequences if the kid repeats it at school, etc....And even once they are older and you know they smoke...I aint sure how I exactly feel about smoking WITH the kid....If he came home high i would sure as hell cook him up a big bangin meal to eat and some nice dessert and tease him a lil ....But I just aint sure about the using drugs with my kid part. It just honestly feels a lil bit irresponsible to me, until at least they are over 18. then its less of a gray area and i think it would be OK, but not til then.
The fantasy world of "Well, i wish MY parents had been like this, so when I am a parent Ima be super-cool!" dont really work out so good in real life. becuz once u a real parent there is so much more shit u got to worry about, so many responsiblities on the table that u are in charge of, and u gotta keep the welfare and safety of your kid as your #1 priority at ALL times....It dont leave alot of room for bein the "fun mom", you feel me?
) is because it's illegal.
