My father was a great guy..hard worker, well known, amazing dad with a killer personality. Rest his soul.
Because he was a single father, with a daughter that was trying to mature, he was very blunt with his words about certain things.
He commented "LiLi, you're getting boobs, go find a bra" , "Lili, go shave under your arms", "Lili, you better have not had sex yet". He was just blunt, nothing sexual. If anything, it was hard for him to deal with a maturing young daughter.
Where your mother is concerned, is it possible she was just blunt like that? Maybe she was in shock that her kid was maturing so fast?
It's hard to determine if this is sexual, maybe if she has groped you or used different wording, yes. It sounds like it made you really uncomfortable.
The shape your mom is in, you have to be careful with your approach, due to stress possibly setting the stage for another stroke.
It also sounds like she made a few mistakes in her life. Question is, can you forgive her? And be careful, the mind plays tricks, and can give false memories.
Sorry that you're having issues, hope you can resolve it peacefully.