Does anybody have any longterm damages from abusing drugs?

[augustaB]

I had a bad acid trip in 1967.
For years after I would get flashes and have panic attacks.
One of the effects was to make me cling to things that I knew were real.
I could no longer enjoy weed.
For the first two years I lived on the edge of paranoia.
I had a nervous crisis and seizure after about a year.
I isolated myself from people because they were too unpredictable.
Often I was too frightened to go to sleep and could only sleep in the day.
After about 6 years I was normal enough to hold down a job (night shift)
After 8 years I managed to start studying again.
I would still get an occasional panic attack even 10 years ago.
Fortunately somebody introduced me to mdma and I've been able to overcome some of things that triggered the initial bad experience.
Even so I still only go to bed at 4 in the morning and sleep to noon.
I am now 65.

 

[lars90]

I had a bad acid trip in 1967.
For years after I would get flashes and have panic attacks.
One of the effects was to make me cling to things that I knew were real.
I could no longer enjoy weed.
For the first two years I lived on the edge of paranoia.
I had a nervous crisis and seizure after about a year.
I isolated myself from people because they were too unpredictable.
Often I was too frightened to go to sleep and could only sleep in the day.
After about 6 years I was normal enough to hold down a job (night shift)
After 8 years I managed to start studying again.
I would still get an occasional panic attack even 10 years ago.
Fortunately somebody introduced me to mdma and I've been able to overcome some of things that triggered the initial bad experience.
Even so I still only go to bed at 4 in the morning and sleep to noon.
I am now 65.

Wow did you go to a therapist?
THat sounds horrible how many drops/tripps of aci did you take?

 

[dhopeless]

I'm 23 years old and have been on opiates since I was 17. I ended up on subutex like most people do, and that's where I'll be forever. The only problem is I shoot all my pills, and now I have anemia, collapsed veins, and God knows what else. I've also abused pretty much every other drug out there and have been addicted to almost everything out there at point or another; alcohol, MDMA, DXM, LSD, benzos... currently struggling with cocaine. And there's always that constant need for bupe/clonazepam in the background. I'll never be able to get off of those two drugs. I can't be happy without doing some kind of drug, preferably IV'd. I see a $20 bill and it turns into a crack rock/line of molly/insert-current-DOC here... I'm on the verge of suicide right now. I lost my job yesterday because I have back pain and couldn't do the work. "Fuck my life I want to get high".... that's all i ever think about.

 

[dhopeless]

Also... my circulation is shit. My arms fall asleep all the time, I'm constantly cold, which makes me have to take more subutex. Its a vicious cycle. After a recent DXM binge I started getting sleep paralysis that lasted through the entire night. Imagine waking up and not being able to move for six hours... I ruined my digestive system from drinking too much wine. Now if I drink even ONE alcoholic drink I have to take antacids for the next two days. My life is shit. My bedroom is a mess with needles and cotton balls over my coffee table. Needles on my computers keyboard. Burnt spoons, pot pipes, razor blades... it looks like hell. I guess it's a good analogy to the way I feel inside. However, outside my home I dress well, shine my shoes, wear a suit and pretend to be a functioning member of society. You would never know just how fucked up I really am.

 

[slackhands]

Also... my circulation is shit. My arms fall asleep all the time, I'm constantly cold, which makes me have to take more subutex. Its a vicious cycle. After a recent DXM binge I started getting sleep paralysis that lasted through the entire night. Imagine waking up and not being able to move for six hours... I ruined my digestive system from drinking too much wine. Now if I drink even ONE alcoholic drink I have to take antacids for the next two days. My life is shit. My bedroom is a mess with needles and cotton balls over my coffee table. Needles on my computers keyboard. Burnt spoons, pot pipes, razor blades... it looks like hell. I guess it's a good analogy to the way I feel inside. However, outside my home I dress well, shine my shoes, wear a suit and pretend to be a functioning member of society. You would never know just how fucked up I really am.

lol that last bit was jokes man.

 

[lars90]

lol that last bit was jokes man.

I dont think so

 

[slackhands]

Yeh it was to me buddy, very much so. Anyway from my pretty limited experience with drugs it's all been cloud 9 shit for me. Prob would have commited suicide by now If it wasn't for MDMA tbh. It's hard to feel as bad as you do good when on Molly. Anyway kid, it's way past your bed-time now...

 

[dhopeless]

No, I'm serious. I look like buisiness man all the time. Looking good saves me a lot of trouble. It's no joke.

 

[augustaB]

Wow did you go to a therapist?
THat sounds horrible how many drops/tripps of aci did you take?

I have no idea of how much acid I did. I was in a group and a guy was handing out bits of blotting paper. I took one. I don't think it was very much in fact.
I'd only tripped once before and that was extremely low intensity.
The setting was bad. There was a drunk guy who was having delirium tremens and somehow I was picking up on the bad things he was seeing.
I tried speaking to a psychiatrist but he was an overfed ass in a suit who had absolutely no comprehension of what might be involved.
Not every psych from that period was like Ronny Laing alas.
Life goes on, even if you are insane!

 

[lars90]

That sounds a littlelike Post traumatic experinces. You should go to a good pychytrist and ask for EMDR therapy that would make everything go way faster. If oyu dont beliv me ask Dave and read his blog about hterapy. All the waight which your body was trying to build of and all the bad experince goes away with in a fes sesshions cause your exposed to it all at once and it stays away.

I know What a bad high is like I my self had 3 bad highs in 6 times DXM. Its like everytime you say this is the alst time if it goes wrong I wont do it again it gives you a perfect high again. Well the last time I did it was 7 weeks ago and Im still fighting with the side effeks:
Bad sight
Bad concentration
Bad memory
Fast heat beat and high blood pressure
Muscel tiks my leg will just move for no reason.

So The first 2 weeks were a hang over cause I think I didnt drink enough water at that time. I was justr high for 2 weeks slightly instead of feeling the
full high over 6 hours. Well sadly after that I the side effeks kicked in which amde me feel high for 2 more weeks. I was swaeting all the time had deprshions, panic attacks, Strong Stong Strong dream more like Closed eye visuals, My heart was powniding like hell, My memory was bad very bad both long term and short term, Muscel tiks, My vison was extrmly wierd things would move slightly after looking at them and thier werte little particles moving over my eye, I felt drunk all ther time not the god type of drunk jdsut the hangover drunk which ismmore in your head than in your body, shivering and last but not least sickness for 7 days straight.

Belive me these were the worst weeks of my life I can prowdly say Im of DXM and never will use it again the mental cravings are still their but getting weeker.

Good luck on your problem though

 

[slackhands]

Maybe you just can't take drugs, or you're too young/immature to deal with it all. Not judging (much) but that's how it seems boy. I waited until I was 18 to even think about any drugs, and only dabbled with hard drugs once I was 21. Drugs are a very dangerous thing to get into unless you know a great deal about them and possible consequences.

 

[lars90]

Maybe you just can't take drugs, or you're too young/immature to deal with it all. Not judging (much) but that's how it seems boy. I waited until I was 18 to even think about any drugs, and only dabbled with hard drugs once I was 21. Drugs are a very dangerous thing to get into unless you know a great deal about them and possible consequences.

Before I took DXM I spent 2 weeks reading reports on it. I spent more than 1o hours on it tell me thats not finding out a great deal about the concequesnses.
Yeah I am to young to take drugs WAY WAY WAY to young! But I didnt juge DXM as a drug I dindt belve something leagl could be a drug. It sounded like full nonesence. I trtied I liked and I dint have a bad feeling about it at all I tried it again and I liked it still didnt feel anyhing. COntiued on 3 more times and dint feel anything but the anxity disorder which I dintknow came from DXM. I did it becasue the internet blends out all fucking negativ parts of the drug. I am gonna creat a web site about DXM tell the kids what the real dangers are. I have a freind that I met here that went to the 4th pletau 2 weeks ,long and had the same withdrwal/side effkts symtoms that I had. It shows that DXM is a very unsave drug. Difrent people react diffrent to the drug. But DXM is a very powerfull drug. Its powerfull enoughf to stop the addiction of opiates (I dont wanna give anyone bad Ideas with this) if its only a mental one. It tells you have to stop every other drug and jsut continue breking yor mind with DXM. In higher doses DXM is extremly powerfull and its very sick what it does to your body. I do belive it can cause long term damges but Im not quit sure its more like it gives you temperarly brain damges which cause strong depreshions. I do belie that DXM is also a little bodyly adictive as well. Cause the only way to get rid of the side effkts is to take DXM again but after a while if you keep doing this to get rid of side effkts you have to increase your dose else it wont help and stil then you get ther side effkts.

Id rather have you or anyonbe else taking opiates than DXM cause DXM destroyes your brain chemitry while opiates only distroy your body which can regerate. Also DXM causes Anxity disorders which are hard to get rid of.

THis is what I have found out. I belive all this is true cause I have studyed the drug alot. Call me crazy but this is how i think about it lol :D

 

[slackhands]

Before I took DXM I spent 2 weeks reading reports on it. I spent more than 1o hours on it tell me thats not finding out a great deal about the concequesnses.
Yeah I am to young to take drugs WAY WAY WAY to young! But I didnt juge DXM as a drug I dindt belve something leagl could be a drug. It sounded like full nonesence. I trtied I liked and I dint have a bad feeling about it at all I tried it again and I liked it still didnt feel anyhing. COntiued on 3 more times and dint feel anything but the anxity disorder which I dintknow came from DXM. I did it becasue the internet blends out all fucking negativ parts of the drug. I am gonna creat a web site about DXM tell the kids what the real dangers are. I have a freind that I met here that went to the 4th pletau 2 weeks ,long and had the same withdrwal/side effkts symtoms that I had. It shows that DXM is a very unsave drug. Difrent people react diffrent to the drug. But DXM is a very powerfull drug. Its powerfull enoughf to stop the addiction of opiates (I dont wanna give anyone bad Ideas with this) if its only a mental one. It tells you have to stop every other drug and jsut continue breking yor mind with DXM. In higher doses DXM is extremly powerfull and its very sick what it does to your body. I do belive it can cause long term damges but Im not quit sure its more like it gives you temperarly brain damges which cause strong depreshions. I do belie that DXM is also a little bodyly adictive as well. Cause the only way to get rid of the side effkts is to take DXM again but after a while if you keep doing this to get rid of side effkts you have to increase your dose else it wont help and stil then you get ther side effkts.

Id rather have you or anyonbe else taking opiates than DXM cause DXM destroyes your brain chemitry while opiates only distroy your body which can regerate. Also DXM causes Anxity disorders which are hard to get rid of.

THis is what I have found out. I belive all this is true cause I have studyed the drug alot. Call me crazy but this is how i think about it lol :D

1) Like I said, do your homework properly next time; You obviously didn't research enough....

2) It's already been done kid, It's called Erowid.

You've learnt something important today, actually you've learnt 2 important things today:D... *Now sleep*

 

[lars90]

1) Like I said, do your homework properly next time; You obviously didn't research enough....

2) It's already been done kid, It's called Erowid.

You've learnt something important today, actually you've learnt 2 important things today:D... *Now sleep*

Just because Erowid has alredy studyed it it does not mean that their FAQ is all correkt or that they ddint miss some things. And I dint learn I know! Ive been though this I can say now my body can produuce enoughf sertoin for me to feel happy again .

I only have 1 queestion. I meen I know what Anxity disorder is but what makes your haert beat fater or cause the depersonalysation? I meen like u usally get a fats heart rate from salt but why does anxity do it is it cause your body is mmissig resorces or more like a mental issue like you get exsited to fats what is it?

 

[trypsygypsy]

After that my depression was unbearable, and anxiety was also a huge issue, I self medicated on opiates. I ended up becoming physically addicted to them, and ended up in 3 month inpatient rehab. Me before abusing drugs on a heavy basis, I was an intelligent, witty, and quick learning. I do not have any of those attrubutes anymore. I also had hobbies, and other interest in life apart from drugs... well even after getting clean I live a miserable existance, and all I can basically think of every day is " I wanna get high"

-PLUR

^Right there with ya... No rehab but definitely an addiction I've been dealing with as well. It's just too wonderful of a high. I've definitely noticed a decrease in memory, attention and motivation... At least until I have the opiate in me. Sigh... Mornings are always rough too when you don't have that warm blanket to motivate ya.

-I can attribute the memory/attention problems to excessive MDMA use as well though... Ah well.

 

[lcrlover]

I used meth for maybe 5 or so years, like 1992-1997, when I started me & gf used to get .25gr and we'd make that last for 2 weekends (4days) by 1997 I had broke up with that gf & was now using 1/4oz every week. One day an aquaintance pointed out just what an incredible waste spending $500/wk was, and the fact that I was not happy even so. I thought about that & quit the next day. My crack whore gf left me along with the homeless guy I had taken in a couple months before. I was so depressed that I used to constantly think about shooting myself, that went on for a year. After the year was over my depression eased and I began to feel better. Unfortunately the thing that seems to have changed most was my ability to easily speak with customers & friends. Almost seems like a mental stutter, I will have what I want to say in mind & then as I am saying my piece, I will forget one of the words & all that I can immediately come up fits together with difficulty, and doesn't really sound right. Been the better part of 15 years since I quit, but I think this will stay with me for life. Also, for the first 10 years or so everything I felt, saw, tasted, heard, smelled & generally experiencen was pale in comparison to the daily excitement that doing meth gave me.

BTW Lars, I would be happy to relate my meth experience, but you hafta empty your mailbox first.

 

[belfort]

well, i was hooked to opiates for years(oxy, heroin, methadone) ..ive used alot of Ghb mixed in with adderal or ephedrine..this is what i feel has hurt me the most..

-like others, i have a very hard time just getting amped or excited about much of anything..if i do, its a much more reserved form of anticipation..the things that get others all crazy have me feeling numb..

-low sex drive..i need to get my test levels checked but overall my sex drive is pretty low...im 33 and rarely think about sex..im clean now..

-hard to feel satisfied or 'content'..it takes alot for me to feel even small amounts of contentment..and they fade fast..

-very hard to experience true joy..it seems my pleasure center has been worn out to some degree..

-low motivation and ive grown much more asocial now that im sober..i just find socializing to be quite boring now that im sober..really hard to get around this problem..

 

[Machtlos]

I did MDPV daily for about a year and a half. Never obscene doses or binges, but a small daily dose. Loved the stim and the euphoria. Kicked ass at work. Never had the psychosis people speak of, but I totally screwed up my heart. The daily tachardyia for the year and a half ended up with me getting stage 2 hypertension in my late 30's. I haven't done PV in 8 months, and my average BP was 170 over 116 with a pulse rate of 102 resting 8 months on. I have been on bp meds and have gotten it down to an average of 130 over 90. Pulse hovers around 93 bpm. The PV may have damaged my kidneys causing over production of angiotensin which ups the BP. I was a walking stroke waiting to happen, or a heart attack. I blame the MDPV use...folks, if you use this one, watch your ticker. Even when you stop, the damage is done and chronic.

 

[lars90]

I used meth for maybe 5 or so years, like 1992-1997, when I started me & gf used to get .25gr and we'd make that last for 2 weekends (4days) by 1997 I had broke up with that gf & was now using 1/4oz every week. One day an aquaintance pointed out just what an incredible waste spending $500/wk was, and the fact that I was not happy even so. I thought about that & quit the next day. My crack whore gf left me along with the homeless guy I had taken in a couple months before. I was so depressed that I used to constantly think about shooting myself, that went on for a year. After the year was over my depression eased and I began to feel better. Unfortunately the thing that seems to have changed most was my ability to easily speak with customers & friends. Almost seems like a mental stutter, I will have what I want to say in mind & then as I am saying my piece, I will forget one of the words & all that I can immediately come up fits together with difficulty, and doesn't really sound right. Been the better part of 15 years since I quit, but I think this will stay with me for life. Also, for the first 10 years or so everything I felt, saw, tasted, heard, smelled & generally experiencen was pale in comparison to the daily excitement that doing meth gave me.

BTW Lars, I would be happy to relate my meth experience, but you hafta empty your mailbox first.

Oh I dint know that I waswondering why I wasent getting any messages anymore :D here emtyed it .....
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Guys help me with this well how some of you know I am onDXM withdrwal for 7 weeks now. Well all side effektssuch as depersonalysation schizefornie and schwiering has gone the only thing which is really pnicing me now is Ianot picture faces very goodI have very big troubles picturng my best frien(alost girlfreind) face. I only seem to have this problem with people I met during the 7 week period of being of DXM everyone beforeI still have little dificulties picturing but I can. Will this fade does anyone know? Becaue thisis really panicing me.


Also my heart -.- its beating to hard and to fast sadly

 

[michael]

I have often thought and had the "why me"'s and now I know "why me". I am here to help others not make the same mistakes I did, and hopefully they can read my story and make some changes in their life and do all the things they have always wanted to do. My whole existence is here to help others learn what not to do...And thus far, I can honestly say I have seen some success stories of people who took my words to heart and made differences in their lives, and some have either stopped their self destructive behaviors, and there is no better compliment then that.

for years i told myself that i would be fine because i knew many people who drank much more than i did (although had i been in a better position financially i certainly would have drank much, much more) with few long-term problems from it. in the back of my head i always knew that was garbage reasoning, but as you may know it is easy to rationalize something like this when you are drinking. it took quitting for my head to clear and realize just how lucky i am to not suffer any long term problems from my years of heavy abuse.