Hey Anonymouse77, for what it's worth I'm a longtime reader who has been thinking about registering an account recently and reading your posts about your experience inspired me to join and reply to you.
I empathize with you and feel bad for you as I read your experiences. What you write does make some sense but maybe not in the way you want. Based on your descriptions and the way I've seen you communicate with the people on this forum, it is very possible that you are accurately perceiving some of these weird behaviors in other people who make faces and act differently around you, and expect you to make a scene. And the simple truth there would be because you are acting out of the ordinary.
For example, a drunk person (I'm not saying you're acting drunk or intoxicated, but just as an example of this phenomenon) will often not realize how drunk they are acting. But everyone around them sees it and rolls their eyes and expects a scene. The others can see that the drunk person thinks nobody knows they are drunk, but to everyone else it is obvious.
There are two basic possibilities, either you are perceiving some of these behaviors in others accurately or you are not. If you are not, then anxiety and mental health issues are causing you to misperceive what is not there, although to your mind that seems impossible. And if you are perceiving it accurately, then it might be because of the way you are behaving, which like with the drunk example is obvious to others but hidden to you. I don't just make this assumption based on your stories, but also on the way I see you interacting with people on this forum. Pretty much everyone is telling you the same advice: try to ignore or avoid focusing on the behavior of others, and just worry about what you can do that is healthy for you. But you seem to consistently ignore this advice and just keep on focusing on how other people are acting. To me, and I assume almost everyone else, this is a recipe for your bad experiences to continue.
Another issue I face in your stories is that they convey that many unrelated people are in on this plot to harass or humiliate you. Public servants, doctors, regular workers, etc, and in many different environments. And why? Because you use legally prescribed opiates. It makes no sense that this vast conspiracy would exist to humiliate you for your medication. If so many powers wished it, they could simply discontinue your medication. It would be no less illegal than all these workers being instructed to conspire against you.
Also, whether you are using legal or illegal drugs, for you or anyone else that is not important enough to warrant all these surveillance and harassment efforts. It seems unhealthy for you to believe that your drug usage is so important that a vast array of people who don't even know you dedicate so much time and effort to subtly harass or humiliate you.
None of it makes any sense to be honest with you. And as you noted yourself, even on a long-standing and official forum dedicated to drugs, other drug users and people who have experienced mental health challenges consistently reply to you that it seems like you blowing the situation out of proportion. And even if not, your only meaningful response is to ignore and let it go, since their harassment is subtle and you could just ignore it and focus on doing what is healthy for you.
Especially since you're saying you don't want social interactions. Then why care how they act? You seem to be giving it a lot of power. I too have had and have social challenges with people, and as long as they do not outright assault me or steal my possessions, I just ignore them and focus on doing what is right for me. I hope you find a way to do that for you. But historically, you may thank me for this reply and then reiterate that your perceptions are correct and continue to agonize about the behavior of others, and dissect their behavior in some other scenario. I hope you find peace within yourself, because these other people won't give it to you.
P.S. I just want to affirm that I am not denying some of your past experiences where you were harassed by family or people who knew you. I am not denying that social harassment exists. I have experienced it myself throughout my life. I am just finding it difficult to believe that you are being harassed by many people who hardly know you (and have no reason to conspire against you) just because you are prescribed opiates or otherwise use drugs.
