Misc Doctors being watched?

[anonymouse77]

Whats the seroquel prescribed for OP?

Just anxiety and to get to sleep at night. They hand it out like candy. I am also prescribed Lyrica and diazepam.

 

[anonymouse77]

Hey man, I agree with your post on the chemist side of things where I've seen that sort of thing happen, but I'm having trouble believing this.

There's actually a pretty rational explanation for this type of thing happening. To be frank, you're not important enough to hang stalk, or follow around. Very few people are. It's time consuming, requires coordination of many participants, communication... That stuff costs money too, so you would need to be someone pretty important for this to be happening to.

I get what it's like to stick out in public. I'm trans, and I didn't pass as cis for two years before I started testosterone and I constantly got comments about being a he she, it, girl boy, or shemale. It was relentless. But it was just a bunch of random people doing this stuff.

I've actually been targeted on the forum by a couple of people since becoming active in December and it escalated to being an actual problem which needed to be officially addressed. That was just mainly people deciding they thought I was lying about everything I posted, and didn't like how I communicated which is largely due to my autism. Some managed to completely misinterpret my first two threads and misunderstand everyone I wrote to paint me as a selfish prick, and when I refuted their comments by quoting my statements which proved their remarks wrong, they just disengaged and didn't correct themselves. They still pop up from time to time and try the same thing, with some even dismissing everything I ever write as being a meth induced rant when my autism makes me write huge essays as well and the two are almost indistinguishable from eachother unless you know what I look for.

So I get it, like this ended up being a small group of people following me around, but they had a motive to reveal me as a fraud. If there's no motive to you being stalked, I can't really see why anyone would bother.

However I would suggest that your statement that you have experienced a lifetime of bullying that you have been conditioned to perceive any minor indication of a negative interaction as evidence that it's happening again, and your brain cherry picks the evidence. Same with seeing police cars and stuff. Sometimes I see none, sometimes I see several. They're out and about. No one is interested in you for taking legally prescribed opiates unless you're diverting them. I have dexamphetamine which is also a schedule 8 medication, AND I have a massive history of substance use and I'm flagged as a drug dependant person. If this were a widespread issue, I'd clearly have people trailing me because I'm a hot candidate for being busted for doing something wrong with my meds. But I'm not.

I think you have really, really extreme anxiety. Like, very severe. I think you see threats everywhere, when they aren't there, and because now you 'cant be that unlucky to experience that many problems' it has to be a conspiracy.

Dont take this the wrong way please as I do think you've been victimised especially in the chemist, but that is very common for pain clients and maintenance therapy customers so you're far from the first to report that, which makes it a reliable account to me.

I think what you experienced is very real to you, but your past experiences are really interfering with rationally looking at things. I don't mean you're psychotic either. I think you have extremely severe anxiety, and maybe even cPTSD from bullying throughout your life which results in many symptoms, including a tendency to view everything extremely negatively and see threats everywhere.

I actually suggest you talk to someone about the impact the bullying has had on you. I do not think you are imagining things. I think your life experiences are filtering events through a threat lense.

I get what you're saying. I don't want to do talk therapy any more. I have nothing left to say and I can't be helped. I do have severe anxiety. Also why should I have to seek help when I was never accepted by society JUST so I can fit into that same society that rejected me? I honestly have nothing left in me and I won't be bullied into seeking help. I just want to live and let live peacefully.

 

[Eligiu]

I get what you're saying. I don't want to do talk therapy any more. I have nothing left to say and I can't be helped. I do have severe anxiety. Also why should I have to seek help when I was never accepted by society JUST so I can fit into that same society that rejected me? I honestly have nothing left in me and I won't be bullied into seeking help. I just want to live and let live peacefully.

It isn't to make you fit in, it's so that you stop seeing threats everywhere because your nervous system is conditioned to do that, it's for your benefit not anyone elses. I didn't do trauma therapy to 'fit in' with society, I did it because my life was, and sometimes, like currently where I've been set back massively and realised I now have to talk to my social worker and psychologist about some really fucked up shit that came out yesterday and today, still is, miserable.

I've been fucked this last two days. I said stuff about myself that was so fucked up I couldn't comprehend it and when I told my GP he was horrified. Turns out I pulled up a negative core belief I have which drives my self destructive behaviour out of nowhere suddenly and now it's out in the open and it's terrifying.

But I'm going to talk about it with my team tomorrow because despite having been engaged in therapy for over 10 years, there's still shit I gotta work on. My friend who I said the fucked up shit to called me later that day and said something innocent that triggered a PTSD episode and I yelled at him to shut up over and over on the phone then just suffered while he talked me through it, and I actually cried about it to him saying I thought I was better now and this shit didn't happen to me anymore.

I could not do anything about what I've just uncovered and stay all fucked up like I am now indefinitely, and that would be easy. And I could talk about how unfair everything is that I have to deal with this (and it is fine to be angry about trauma, at the right time. Just not constantly, that doesn't help anyone). Or I could go and see my social worker tomorrow and have an hour long discussion about something I hate and which caused me to have my first episode in 2 years and really get to the bottom of why I continue to harm myself after all these years.

One of those results in a better life for me, even though it's much harder. It isn't suppose to be easy. But this is obviously causing you a significant level of distress as you have made multiple posts about this happening to you, and I've seen others comment on how they think you're imagining it. To be clear I disagree firmly with them, and don't like that they're entirely dismissive towards you because it's very real for you.

But to tell you the gods honest truth man, you won't be able to live and let live if you don't get some help for this because nobody (bar the chemist, and maybe a couple other unfortunate incidents I'm unaware of but could be plausible) is doing what you think they're doing. It's your trauma, they're going about their day and are paying you no mind, and because you see threats everywhere you will continue to do so, indefinitely until this is addressed mate. You won't get the peace you are looking for.

Trauma therapy is very different to regular therapy. If you haven't had anything targetting your trauma history then frankly you haven't done therapy at all that will help you. My first years in therapy were for depression and anxiety and I got nowhere until I started doing trauma therapy. It was wasted time and wasted money.

It's up to you man, but I know what I would do in a situation where my previous life experiences were causing me to feel immense distress and affecting my life in a significant way.

And I get being an outcast, I'm autistic so that has been me my whole life. And trans, so like I'm othered by definition. I won't change that to fit in and nor should you.

But you can change the fact that your brain is causing you to experience distress.

 

[cdin]

It isn't to make you fit in, it's so that you stop seeing threats everywhere because your nervous system is conditioned to do that, it's for your benefit not anyone elses. I didn't do trauma therapy to 'fit in' with society, I did it because my life was, and sometimes, like currently where I've been set back massively and realised I now have to talk to my social worker and psychologist about some really fucked up shit that came out yesterday and today, still is, miserable.

I've been fucked this last two days. I said stuff about myself that was so fucked up I couldn't comprehend it and when I told my GP he was horrified. Turns out I pulled up a negative core belief I have which drives my self destructive behaviour out of nowhere suddenly and now it's out in the open and it's terrifying.

But I'm going to talk about it with my team tomorrow because despite having been engaged in therapy for over 10 years, there's still shit I gotta work on. My friend who I said the fucked up shit to called me later that day and said something that triggered a PTSD episode and I yelled at him to shut up over and over on the phone then just suffered while he talked me through it, and I actually cried about it to him saying I thought I was better now and this shit didn't happen to me anymore.

I could not do anything about what I've just uncovered and stay all fucked up like I am now indefinitely, and that would be easy. And I could talk about how unfair everything is that I have to deal with this (and it is fine to be angry about trauma, at the right time. Just not constantly, that doesn't help anyone). Or I could go and see my social worker tomorrow and have an hour long discussion about something I hate and which caused me to have my first episode in 2 years and really get to the bottom of why I continue to harm myself after all these years.

One of those results in a better life for me, even though it's much harder. It isn't suppose to be easy. But this is obviously causing you a significant level of distress as you have made multiple posts about this happening to you, and I've seen others comment on how they think you're imagining it. To be clear I disagree firmly with them, and don't like that they're entirely dismissive towards you because it's very real for you.

But to tell you the gods honest truth man, you won't be able to live and let live if you don't get some help for this because nobody (bar the chemist, and maybe a couple other unfortunate incidents I'm unaware of but could be plausible) is doing what you think they're doing. It's your trauma, they're going about their day and are paying you no mind, and because you see threats everywhere you will continue to do so, indefinitely until this is addressed mate. You won't get the peace you are looking for.

Trauma therapy is very different to regular therapy. If you haven't had anything targetting your trauma history then frankly you haven't done therapy at all that will help you. My first years in therapy were for depression and anxiety and I got nowhere until I started doing trauma therapy. It was wasted time and wasted money.

It's up to you man, but I know what I would do in a situation where my previous life experiences were causing me to feel immense distress and affecting my life in a significant way.

And I get being an outcast, I'm autistic so that has been me my whole life. And trans, so like I'm othered by definition. I won't change that to fit in and nor should you.

But you can change the fact that your brain is causing you to experience distress.

I am in a similar position at the moment, and also on a mission seeking interventionary trauma therapy again. to OP -- I'm not sure what youre previous experience was, but mine has been that having providers I can trust that really have my back is what makes the difference any time i slide back into hypervigilance/PTSD accusatory mode at those around me (which has happened several times over the years) - I had to really shop around to find someone good, and currently I have to find someone new. I anticipate firing at least 4 or 5 counselors before finding someone I feel I can trust and work with. If i get one before that, it will be luck. Just saying, the interventionary therapies really do help these kind of anxiety problems, and it does take some time to find the right fit. I really hope you get some relief.

 

[anonymouse77]

It isn't to make you fit in, it's so that you stop seeing threats everywhere because your nervous system is conditioned to do that, it's for your benefit not anyone elses. I didn't do trauma therapy to 'fit in' with society, I did it because my life was, and sometimes, like currently where I've been set back massively and realised I now have to talk to my social worker and psychologist about some really fucked up shit that came out yesterday and today, still is, miserable.

I've been fucked this last two days. I said stuff about myself that was so fucked up I couldn't comprehend it and when I told my GP he was horrified. Turns out I pulled up a negative core belief I have which drives my self destructive behaviour out of nowhere suddenly and now it's out in the open and it's terrifying.

But I'm going to talk about it with my team tomorrow because despite having been engaged in therapy for over 10 years, there's still shit I gotta work on. My friend who I said the fucked up shit to called me later that day and said something that triggered a PTSD episode and I yelled at him to shut up over and over on the phone then just suffered while he talked me through it, and I actually cried about it to him saying I thought I was better now and this shit didn't happen to me anymore.

I could not do anything about what I've just uncovered and stay all fucked up like I am now indefinitely, and that would be easy. And I could talk about how unfair everything is that I have to deal with this (and it is fine to be angry about trauma, at the right time. Just not constantly, that doesn't help anyone). Or I could go and see my social worker tomorrow and have an hour long discussion about something I hate and which caused me to have my first episode in 2 years and really get to the bottom of why I continue to harm myself after all these years.

One of those results in a better life for me, even though it's much harder. It isn't suppose to be easy. But this is obviously causing you a significant level of distress as you have made multiple posts about this happening to you, and I've seen others comment on how they think you're imagining it. To be clear I disagree firmly with them, and don't like that they're entirely dismissive towards you because it's very real for you.

But to tell you the gods honest truth man, you won't be able to live and let live if you don't get some help for this because nobody (bar the chemist, and maybe a couple other unfortunate incidents I'm unaware of but could be plausible) is doing what you think they're doing. It's your trauma, they're going about their day and are paying you no mind, and because you see threats everywhere you will continue to do so, indefinitely until this is addressed mate. You won't get the peace you are looking for.

Trauma therapy is very different to regular therapy. If you haven't had anything targetting your trauma history then frankly you haven't done therapy at all that will help you. My first years in therapy were for depression and anxiety and I got nowhere until I started doing trauma therapy. It was wasted time and wasted money.

It's up to you man, but I know what I would do in a situation where my previous life experiences were causing me to feel immense distress and affecting my life in a significant way.

And I get being an outcast, I'm autistic so that has been me my whole life. And trans, so like I'm othered by definition. I won't change that to fit in and nor should you.

But you can change the fact that your brain is causing you to experience distress.

Thank you for your reply and sorry to hear you are going through a tough time at the moment. It seems to me like if a friend pushed you to the brink of where you were begging them to shut up and then they consoled you later about - maybe it's time to find new friends? Sounds a lot like gaslighting to me.

As for the whole breakthrough thing in psychology - I don't think it's really a thing. That's just my opinion. If it helps then keep it up but for many it has not helped.

I have barely addressed any of what I have experienced in my posts here so I take it with a grain of salt when people tell me I'm delusional. I have had people contact me and say they believe me and post in the thread. I haven't said anything ludicrous or that I think I'm special in any way to be targeted. If anything - I believe it's because of my issues and they likely go after the weakest and those who are what they consider a drain on the system. I have had my home broken into and had a drain cover in front of my toilet removed for me to find on my return and many other things. I won't elaborate further.

I will leave a link which describes some of it and it's honestly not out of the realm of possibility that it happens to people they might consider troubled to try to "save" them. I won't dismiss that it leads to PTSD (if you don't have it to begin with) which will lead a target to see threats everywhere which is why I try to give people the benefit of the doubt to the point where I go the other way and let myself be walked all over by others.

The Problem of Gangstalking in Australia

I am writing this blog in support of all Australians who have found themselves the target of campains designed to destroy them, using any nu...

pavlovianexperiment.blogspot.com

 

[Eligiu]

Thank you for your reply and sorry to hear you are going through a tough time at the moment. It seems to me like if a friend pushed you to the brink of where you were begging them to shut up and then they consoled you later about - maybe it's time to find new friends? Sounds a lot like gaslighting to me.

As for the whole breakthrough thing in psychology - I don't think it's really a thing. That's just my opinion. If it helps then keep it up but for many it has not helped.

I have barely addressed any of what I have experienced in my posts here so I take it with a grain of salt when people tell me I'm delusional. I have had people contact me and say they believe me and post in the thread. I haven't said anything ludicrous or that I think I'm special in any way to be targeted. If anything - I believe it's because of my issues and they likely go after the weakest and those who are what they consider a drain on the system. I have had my home broken into and had a drain cover in front of my toilet removed for me to find on my return and many other things. I won't elaborate further.

I will leave a link which describes some of it and it's honestly not out of the realm of possibility that it happens to people they might consider troubled to try to "save" them. I won't dismiss that it leads to PTSD (if you don't have it to begin with) which will lead a target to see threats everywhere which is why I try to give people the benefit of the doubt to the point where I go the other way and let myself be walked all over by others.

The Problem of Gangstalking in Australia

I am writing this blog in support of all Australians who have found themselves the target of campains designed to destroy them, using any nu...

pavlovianexperiment.blogspot.com

Look man, you actually just illustrated my point. This friend is not gaslighting me. He called me in the afternoon because I was so unsettled from what happened earlier and knew I needed support, and because he is one of very few to know very extensive details, not just the paraphrased version that I generally tell people about the CSA I went through with my dad and the survival sex work I did, he had the context to understand the situation and he's never treated me like a freak because of being a victim of that much sexual violence.

What actually happened, and I'm telling you this because I'm actually a bit upset that you're projecting your seeing threats everywhere onto probably one of the best friends I have, who came into my life after someone who helped me a lot left and made it clear to me he thought what that other person did was wrong, is that we talked about the messed up stuff I had said trying to figure out why it even came out when it did and what it meant, and when we figured it out, I realised it was super important that I get professional support for it because it was so fucked up that my friend cannot possibly help me through this, as much as he might want to. It is way, way beyond his skillset. He said he will always listen and hear me when I need to talk but he can't help me work through this, and that's fine. I don't want to put that on our friendship when I actually have professional support trained in exactly this. I said I was scared, because I was scared of doing more trauma therapy and how difficult it is and painful it can be. He asked why I was scared, which is a reasonable thing to do but I have structural dissociation so I can flip out in an instant if someone says the wrong thing and it used to happen a lot, so because I suddenly was confronted with explaining how I was scared of trauma therapy, I thought about doing more trauma therapy and *that* set me off, it wasn't him at all. He stopped talking as soon as I started yelling, then after a bit he was reassuring me that I was safe, talking to him on the phone, reminding me who he was, asked me to ground myself by describing where I was in my house, then for 15 minutes or so just talked randomly about the show he was at and what was going on there to distract me so I had something to pay more attention to than how much pain I was in. Then he asked if I needed some water, and I said yes so he told me to go up and get some. I did that, and moving around helped it go away.

He could have hung up on me as soon as I yelled that. He didn't have to stay on the phone, and may I add, he missed more than half of the show he went to when we originally agreed on just talking on his way in the uber, because I needed it. And when I later apologised for making him miss the show he said it didn't matter because he goes to shows all the time and I come first.

When I apologised for yelling at him, he said not to worry about it, and that he knew something was wrong because I'd never been like that before, but I'd told him before about when this has happened other times with friends in the past so he said he knew what was happening. Then he told me if I need to swear at him, tell him to shut up, hang up on him, if it's because I'm set off like that, all that then I can do that, as long as after I'm back to normal I get in contact with him and make sure he knows I'm okay and tell him why I did it and what caused it so he can avoid it happening again.

He does this for me because I was the only person on the discord who messaged him when he vanished for 2 months wondering where he went and asking if he was okay cause before we had talked heaps and he shared stuff about his life with me, and he said my message made him sort of come out of his depression and re-engage because someone had finally checked on him. So it's not one sided at all. I teach him how to get stuff he needs. And I listen to him complain about his shitty job all the time.

I dunno man, despite my trust issues I feel like I have a pretty great friend. People like that are rare.

The fact that you read that as him gaslighting me and thinking I should get rid of someone who is my main support because *I* have cPTSD issues and *I* got triggered over something that came up (not deliberately) really kind of sums up my point about how entrenched this mindset is with you. You managed to view a person supporting their friend through a PTSD episode as gaslighting.

Please man, don't resign yourself to this for the rest of your life, it's going to suck for you.

I'm not really sure what you mean by the whole breakthrough thing in psychology not working. My life before I got targetted therapy for cPTSD from multiple sources was hell. I actually requested to check if I had a child protection file because I convinced myself if there wasn't one, then I could tell everyone I lied about the abuse for sympathy, and an excuse for my drug use and I was a piece of shit fake, but that it would mean my symptoms would go away because it was that awful. I had to read out detailed accounts of sexual abuse to my therapist and usually I couldn't even read what I wrote the first 2 sessions and sat there having an episode because I couldn't verbally talk about it. Even now, I can write about it in detail but I struggle when it comes to saying it out loud, but I can do it when before I couldn't even hear someone say the word 'dad' without exploding. I barely left the house most of the time, had to sleep at friends places. Hell, for a full year I slept on the floor in my studio between the bed and the wardrobe because it felt safe and I couldn't sleep in a bed because I got flashbacks. I couldn't sit with my back to a door, and I can now. I flinched at every sudden noise, and I don't now. A friend hugged me when we first became friends and I physically assaulted him because of that, and another time he woke me from a night terror and I did the same thing. I can hug people now, and I don't get night terrors anymore.

You wouldn't believe me and that person are the same person. I didn't have one single breakthrough, it was years of relentless hard work. I did extra free trauma groups, any I could find. Probably 3-4 of them. Went and got trauma informed drug and alcohol counselling, found out my government pays for free specialist CSA counsellors for victims and referred myself.

A life without this is possible, but you need to work on the real issue.

 

[cdin]

Hugs all around I hope everyone in this thread, myself included, finds peace of mind from their current suffering. this shit is hard af

 

[anonymouse77]

Look man, you actually just illustrated my point. This friend is not gaslighting me. He called me in the afternoon because I was so unsettled from what happened earlier and knew I needed support, and because he is one of very few to know very extensive details, not just the paraphrased version that I generally tell people about the CSA I went through with my dad and the survival sex work I did, he had the context to understand the situation and he's never treated me like a freak because of being a victim of that much sexual violence.

What actually happened, and I'm telling you this because I'm actually a bit upset that you're projecting your seeing threats everywhere onto probably one of the best friends I have, who came into my life after someone who helped me a lot left and made it clear to me he thought what that other person did was wrong, is that we talked about the messed up stuff I had said trying to figure out why it even came out when it did and what it meant, and when we figured it out, I realised it was super important that I get professional support for it because it was so fucked up that my friend cannot possibly help me through this, as much as he might want to. It is way, way beyond his skillset. He said he will always listen and hear me when I need to talk but he can't help me work through this, and that's fine. I don't want to put that on our friendship when I actually have professional support trained in exactly this. I said I was scared, because I was scared of doing more trauma therapy and how difficult it is and painful it can be. He asked why I was scared, which is a reasonable thing to do but I have structural dissociation so I can flip out in an instant if someone says the wrong thing and it used to happen a lot, so because I suddenly was confronted with explaining how I was scared of trauma therapy, I thought about doing more trauma therapy and *that* set me off, it wasn't him at all. He stopped talking as soon as I started yelling, then after a bit he was reassuring me that I was safe, talking to him on the phone, reminding me who he was, asked me to ground myself by describing where I was in my house, then for 15 minutes or so just talked randomly about the show he was at and what was going on there to distract me so I had something to pay more attention to than how much pain I was in. Then he asked if I needed some water, and I said yes so he told me to go up and get some. I did that, and moving around helped it go away.

He could have hung up on me as soon as I yelled that. He didn't have to stay on the phone, and may I add, he missed more than half of the show he went to when we originally agreed on just talking on his way in the uber, because I needed it. And when I later apologised for making him miss the show he said it didn't matter because he goes to shows all the time and I come first.

When I apologised for yelling at him, he said not to worry about it, and that he knew something was wrong because I'd never been like that before, but I'd told him before about when this has happened other times with friends in the past so he said he knew what was happening. Then he told me if I need to swear at him, tell him to shut up, hang up on him, if it's because I'm set off like that, all that then I can do that, as long as after I'm back to normal I get in contact with him and make sure he knows I'm okay and tell him why I did it and what caused it so he can avoid it happening again.

He does this for me because I was the only person on the discord who messaged him when he vanished for 2 months wondering where he went and asking if he was okay cause before we had talked heaps and he shared stuff about his life with me, and he said my message made him sort of come out of his depression and re-engage because someone had finally checked on him. So it's not one sided at all. I teach him how to get stuff he needs. And I listen to him complain about his shitty job all the time.

I dunno man, despite my trust issues I feel like I have a pretty great friend. People like that are rare.

The fact that you read that as him gaslighting me and thinking I should get rid of someone who is my main support because *I* have cPTSD issues and *I* got triggered over something that came up (not deliberately) really kind of sums up my point about how entrenched this mindset is with you. You managed to view a person supporting their friend through a PTSD episode as gaslighting.

Please man, don't resign yourself to this for the rest of your life, it's going to suck for you.

I'm not really sure what you mean by the whole breakthrough thing in psychology not working. My life before I got targetted therapy for cPTSD from multiple sources was hell. I actually requested to check if I had a child protection file because I convinced myself if there wasn't one, then I could tell everyone I lied about the abuse for sympathy, and an excuse for my drug use and I was a piece of shit fake, but that it would mean my symptoms would go away because it was that awful. I had to read out detailed accounts of sexual abuse to my therapist and usually I couldn't even read what I wrote the first 2 sessions and sat there having an episode because I couldn't verbally talk about it. Even now, I can write about it in detail but I struggle when it comes to saying it out loud, but I can do it when before I couldn't even hear someone say the word 'dad' without exploding. I barely left the house most of the time, had to sleep at friends places. Hell, for a full year I slept on the floor in my studio between the bed and the wardrobe because it felt safe and I couldn't sleep in a bed because I got flashbacks. I couldn't sit with my back to a door, and I can now. I flinched at every sudden noise, and I don't now. A friend hugged me when we first became friends and I physically assaulted him because of that, and another time he woke me from a night terror and I did the same thing. I can hug people now, and I don't get night terrors anymore.

You wouldn't believe me and that person are the same person. I didn't have one single breakthrough, it was years of relentless hard work. I did extra free trauma groups, any I could find. Probably 3-4 of them. Went and got trauma informed drug and alcohol counselling, found out my government pays for free specialist CSA counsellors for victims and referred myself.

A life without this is possible, but you need to work on the real issue.

I'm sorry you experienced all that. Sounds like you are confident you have a good friend in this person and that's all that should matter. Not what some internet stranger thinks. Just like I am confident that something is going on with me and I suspect it's connected to my prescription addiction (to highly scheduled meds) which is why I post here. Others have reported of such programs. There is much, much more I could describe but there's no point.

I will just leave with a link to a psychologist speaking on morning Australian television about workplace mobbing. It happens and it's real and not a delusion on those experiencing it. It's not a stretch to think that such a thing could happen to people in communities in the real world. If I go to a place where I never go to and I know no-one knows me I can experience really pleasant, normal interactions.

 

[andyturbo]

I'm pretty sure I am being watched but it's at that stage that I pretty much have nothing left to lose so I don't care any more. I rang someone like a private investigator about seeing police cars every time I go out once a while back as I knew that's a bad sign and he said something along the lines of unless you're involved in very illegal activities then not to worry about it. What are they going to do if I'm not breaking the law anyway?

Australia is definitely a nanny state and it has the mentality of "fit in or fuck off". Not sure if anyone has heard of that but I feel that's the premise of gang stalking and what's being done. Like a modern day witch hunt. Sorry to hear you struggle to get decent sleeping pills. I know they are very hard to get unless it's on a short-term basis of a week to 2. I saw a post on instagram recently which I assume was from someone in America who left a comment somewhere and then came back to say that they genuinely forgot they left the comment as they had taken their sleeping pills. I found that funny and asked what they took and they said stilnox and serepax. I have heard of stilnox but never even heard of someone been prescribing it in Australia and didn't realize it was still used. I remember it being a medication that made people binge-eat and forget they had done it after taking it.

So part of me just wants to go fuck it and make things as hard as I can for them and stick it to them. I see you watching me watching me watching you....

Hello,

Just to clarify I am certain that person was NOT from the US. Reason being Zolpidem Tartrate (The actual drug) Is sold under the name Stilnox in all countries OTHER than America. There brand name is Ambien.
Also I have found it very easy to get stilnox. My regular family GP gives me a 10mgX14 script every fortnight. Once he was away so i saw a new doctor at a clinic i hadn't been to and was offered Temazepam or Stilnox. Stilnox is great for sleeping but if u dont stay in bed you go into this whole different zone.

 

[hotgirls.jpg.exe]

I'm sorry you experienced all that. Sounds like you are confident you have a good friend in this person and that's all that should matter. Not what some internet stranger thinks. Just like I am confident that something is going on with me and I suspect it's connected to my prescription addiction (to highly scheduled meds) which is why I post here. Others have reported of such programs. There is much, much more I could describe but there's no point.

I will just leave with a link to a psychologist speaking on morning Australian television about workplace mobbing. It happens and it's real and not a delusion on those experiencing it. It's not a stretch to think that such a thing could happen to people in communities in the real world. If I go to a place where I never go to and I know no-one knows me I can experience really pleasant, normal interactions.

I understand that you're living in a constant fight-or-flight cPTSD hell but I am really struggling to see how the video you linked could in any way be related the kinds of personal experiences you're talking about. That sort of workplace bullying, which I have witnessed, is almost always the result of someone with NPD-type tendencies deciding to target someone they've taken a dislike to often for completely bullshit reasons and said NPD-ness is what allows them to corral others into the bullying. As @Eligiu said, this kind of surveillance is expensive and time consuming, they certainly wouldn't be wasting resources on this just to mess with someone's head, especially if as you say you're not doing anything illegal. Why would it be happening? It sounds like you've got some severe hypervigilance going on (as a fellowc/PTSDer I can certainly relate) combined with a hell of a confirmation bias - the latter is something every human being on earth suffers from but adding it to the degree of hypervigilance that PTSD/anxiety gives you is a recipe for paranoid misery. I hope you are able to find some peace and healing. Don't give up on therapy, look into trauma therapy and DBT. Even if all of this IS real there's still lots of work you can do to lessen your suffering

 

[anonymouse77]

I understand that you're living in a constant fight-or-flight cPTSD hell but I am really struggling to see how the video you linked could in any way be related the kinds of personal experiences you're talking about. That sort of workplace bullying, which I have witnessed, is almost always the result of someone with NPD-type tendencies deciding to target someone they've taken a dislike to often for completely bullshit reasons and said NPD-ness is what allows them to corral others into the bullying. As @Eligiu said, this kind of surveillance is expensive and time consuming, they certainly wouldn't be wasting resources on this just to mess with someone's head, especially if as you say you're not doing anything illegal. Why would it be happening? It sounds like you've got some severe hypervigilance going on (as a fellowc/PTSDer I can certainly relate) combined with a hell of a confirmation bias - the latter is something every human being on earth suffers from but adding it to the degree of hypervigilance that PTSD/anxiety gives you is a recipe for paranoid misery. I hope you are able to find some peace and healing. Don't give up on therapy, look into trauma therapy and DBT. Even if all of this IS real there's still lots of work you can do to lessen your suffering

It *is* real but thanks for your reply. My suffering is no ones business and it's not up to outsiders to declare that I should be targeted to seek treatment. Just putting that out there. I won't back down or be gaslit further.

 

[anonymouse77]

Here is an example of the online harassment I experience. There are too many to write up every "coincidence" that seems more than just a coincidence. Also if you want to gaslight me to say what I wrote sounds crazy and doesn't make sense - don't bother as I already know it makes sense what I am trying to say.



I watch youtube livestreamers in my spare time. They are not mainstream but kind of degenerates and they will do IRL and play media and messages that anyone can send them for money. Often these messages are sent by people who are out for a reaction. Anyway there's one I watch and she mentioned in one of her livestreams that a certain youtube video about schizophrenia always comes up on her recommended list and I have had the exact same recommendation. I have watched the video before and know what it sounds like - it's a recorded interview of a patient with schizophrenia talking to a psychiatrist about piano playing or some such thing. You can probably search and find it if you are inclined.



ANWAY I ended up adding this livestreamer lady on my instagram. I messaged her and said about how I get that recommendation of that video as well and she did respond with something just laughing about it. Some people might see these livestreamers as celebrities or whatever but they're not really - just for people who know about them maybe.



So they travel around in an RV and they had the camera set up to record in the RV one time and they all left to get some food so it was just watching the empty RV. Hundreds still watch and I just keep it on for company as I am disabled and have chronic fatigue syndrome.



So someone donated some media this time when they were all out of the RV and none of them could hear it. The idea of the media is for someone to hear it. The donator said it was this livestreamer (it could have been anyone as you can put anything for your name when you donate) and the media that played was this youtube video of the schizophrenia interview....


I didn't imagine it - I rewound the video and heard it clearly again and saw comments about it in the chat.


I knew it was a message by whoever that they are watching and know I am watching and have read my instagram messages. There is no other reason to send this particular media donation. It costs money and takes effort to do so it wasn't just a random thing.


Why they are wasting time and resources to do this to me I cannot answer but that doesn't change the fact that it's happening.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

I didn't read your whole post but when I looked into an opioid friendly country Australia seemed worse than American even though we get the same shit here from the pharmacies and doctors when you're in bad pain.l amd need opiates. They treat you like shit

 

[anonymouse77]

There is another example which happened yesterday if anyone cares to hear.

 

[Vagabond696]

There is another example which happened yesterday if anyone cares to hear.

Go for it.

 

[hotgirls.jpg.exe]

I didn't read your whole post but when I looked into an opioid friendly country Australia seemed worse than American even though we get the same shit here from the pharmacies and doctors when you're in bad pain.l amd need opiates. They treat you like shit

It is worse - we never had anything like the overprescription of opioids as in the US (it was like pulling teeth to even get 20 5mg IR oxycodone) but prescribing has been cracked down on just as hard. You need a letter of authority from a pain management doctor to get any opioids prescribed ongoing (which has to first be approved by the TGA, our version of the FDA), most GPs won't give even one off scripts for painkillers anymore for fear of the TGA revoking their licence to prescribe anything, and so called pain management clinics pretty much all have a mission statement about 'getting people off painkillers' regardless of if you're a 'model patient' who's been on them for a long time, for serious issues, with no problems. We don't do piss testing of pain patients to make sure they're not diverting their dose/taking more than they should - yet. I'm sure it's coming though.
And now the TGA is expressing surprise that there's more overdoses related to paracetamol in the last few years as people overuse the only thing that's still available to them. Who could have seen that coming?

 

[anonymouse77]

Go for it.

I definitely will but I would like to know if the example I wrote above makes sense and sounds like harassment before I do.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

It is worse - we never had anything like the overprescription of opioids as in the US (it was like pulling teeth to even get 20 5mg IR oxycodone) but prescribing has been cracked down on just as hard. You need a letter of authority from a pain management doctor to get any opioids prescribed ongoing (which has to first be approved by the TGA, our version of the FDA), most GPs won't give even one off scripts for painkillers anymore for fear of the TGA revoking their licence to prescribe anything, and so called pain management clinics pretty much all have a mission statement about 'getting people off painkillers' regardless of if you're a 'model patient' who's been on them for a long time, for serious issues, with no problems. We don't do piss testing of pain patients to make sure they're not diverting their dose/taking more than they should - yet. I'm sure it's coming though.
And now the TGA is expressing surprise that there's more overdoses related to paracetamol in the last few years as people overuse the only thing that's still available to them. Who could have seen that coming?

Austrralias authoritarian government is scary in a variety of ways.

so are lots of the US. But on the west coast of the US it's not as bad. Drugs were fully decriminalized in oregon...I mean I'm sure you can't get a pain script but u can legally buy pills if u have an "illegal" connect

 

[anonymouse77]

Austrralias authoritarian government is scary in a variety of ways.

so are lots of the US. But on the west coast of the US it's not as bad. Drugs were fully decriminalized in oregon...I mean I'm sure you can't get a pain script but u can legally buy pills if u have an "illegal" connect

Too right! Australia is often referred to as a "nanny state" which I believe I mentioned previously. I think I read it has the population of approximately texas in a land mass the same size as the US just for comparison. So I think it would be easier to track and monitor people. And there are fewer cities and people are located mostly in these main cities which is different to the US where they are populated across the whole country.

 

[Vagabond696]

I definitely will but I would like to know if the example I wrote above makes sense and sounds like harassment before I do.

It sounds like potential gang stalking, yes. We can't actually prove what is happening, only speculate and offer advice.