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Do you prefer lies or the harsh truth?

I'm not sure what thread you are alluding to. Maybe the alprazolam one? You offered some really good HR on that one but I think the OP was either exaggerating or was being a bit of a troll. Had he REALLY wanted help the thread would have had a different vibe to it.

I like to help in TDS, Recovery, and MH too. I don't have a lot of experience so I just offer a kind word. They do however, like you noted, do a one and done thread and don't usually come back to even read the responses. If they do see them, they don't throw a like on there so it's like wth, I just spent 20 minutes trying to help and now poof you are gone. Noticed it's mostly greenlighters. I still do it though just in case they DO see it.

But back on topic. I want the truth. I want it said to my face and not in writing. I want it to be straight to the point and with kind words. No aggression and no finger pointing. When done in that manner I will almost always change my behavior.
 
@Atelier3

I'm sorry for quoting a DM in a thread. I have done this less than half a dozen times in my two (plus) decades here. I was careful to not include anything I assumed should remain private, but I shouldn't assume. I will ask next time. Apologies.

@dalpat077

No offense taken. I'm kind of an emotional nihilist. In the moment, I might have a certain reaction but I'm quick to remind myself that free will doesn't exist and people are just like trees. When a tree falls and squashes your car, it's not the tree's fault. Thing just are the way they are.

I am much more forgiving of conservative people than liberals. Often: the further right the person is, the happier I am to have a long conversation with them. This includes some people who are openly racist. I think they're fascinating.

You come from another planet. (I've called you a dinosaur in the past. You can now add alien to the list.) Everybody I've ever met from Joberg is crazy one way or the other. Love the accents, though. Definitely in the top 5.

...

There's a big part of parenting that I don't quite understand how to tackle, because I'm fundamentally honest. People misunderstand my intentions a lot of the time because I communicate differently. It isn't what I'm saying, it's how I'm saying it.

There is a truthful way to communicate... assuming you're being fundamental about truth, there must be.

A truthful truth.

Sometimes I speak from the heart, but - most of the time - that voice is muffled by fear and anxiety. We have trained ourselves to ignore as much as possible and people are endlessly imperfect, so the truth is hard to hear a lot of the time even when it's right in front of you.

I tend to think that lying is the core of the social disease.

How do you raise children without lying to them?

More importantly: how do you transition from lying to not lying. This (for me) wasn't handled delicately. Children are treated like royalty when they're old enough to start forming memories, but it's all downhill from there.

I think there's probably a way to raise children without lying to them - in fact, I'm sure there is - but it's definitely more difficult.

Telling someone what they don't want to hear means you have to deal with the reaction. Everybody shoots the messenger.

People lie because it's easy.

I'm not convinced (either way) if it's ethical. I work with people who need at least one person to look after them at all times, 24 hours a day. I've worked with a lot of people over the years who socialize with their carers. We are their friends. We are family, sometimes. I know a lot of people who deserve Oscars.

I lie as little as possible. I am just myself. This is better (I think) than doing backflips trying to please people. I know when people are lying to me. I tend to go along with it most of the time, because it feels good, but it makes me doubt myself... Do they think I am incapable of hearing the truth?

People with disabilities aren't stupid and neither are kids.

I didn't want to do Santa Claus with my kids (and it's still going to feel super unnatural) but I'm going to do it. I'd rather do a traditional Christian Jesus-related Christmas. I'm not Christian. Jesus and Santa are both idols. One of them is about giving and opening your heart and the other feeds capitalism... but I can't deprive my children of Christmas. Not in this society.

Kids are increasingly lied to. We are lying to generations now, more and more.

Conservatives lie. (Some people will check out at this point, assuming anybody left-leaning is still reading.) Liberals lie more. The left-wing is the one that feeds society white lies.

The problem is: society is a computer program... and truth is important.

Clearly, religion has caused immeasurable destruction throughout history.

Lies lead to errors.

The truth is uncomfortable, but necessary. I don't like putting animals out of their misery. (More people will check out here, assuming anybody is left at this point.) I've always found those last moments fascinating. I envy them, in a strange way.

I am afraid of death, but (at the same time) I think of it is as life's last surprise.

When everything else is exhausted, at least the end will be something new.

dalpat077 said:
Harsh truth though: I hate it when people start threads on serious topics and then do a disappearing act!
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Yeah, I have a tendency to do that. It's mostly driven by insecurity. I hate myself a lot. Not looking for a pat on the back. Just being factual.

The world rewards liars.
 
Not sure if this is going to be modded.

assclass said:
Gimmie the truth.
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1. I think (like me) sometimes you intentionally provoke negative reactions from people because you are lonely.

2. I like you, but I think you're a bit of a troll sometimes.

3. I think most people who frequent forums are guilty of trolling to one degree or another. There is socially acceptable, passive aggressive trolling (that doesn't violate the holy BLUA) and then there is trolling. Harassment (and labelling) of trolls on forums always distinctly reminds me of bullies in high school, rather than the other way around.
 
I prefer telling lies but hearing the truth. This isn't actually true but my last woman would say it.
 
birdup.snaildown said:
Conservatives lie. (Some people will check out at this point, assuming anybody left-leaning is still reading.) Liberals lie more. The left-wing is the one that feeds society white lies.
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how are you objectively measuring something like that?

i have no idea who lies more and it's hard to measure objectively because the side who are deemed to lie more will just brand the analysis as biased, etc.

i think that, on balance, right-leaners and left-leaners probably lie about the same.

i do think that donald trump took lying to a level we have not previously seen before but he's just one man - who happened to be president - and, so, just a single data point.

alasdair
 
In a nutshell, preference doesn’t come into it for me. Give me the hard truth anyday.

Depending on topic, I’m highly inclined to massively dislike it, but I honestly will never live what I know deep down, or clearly to be a lie.

Outside politics, daily natural living, I’m as open and honest in everything as you can be. No fear in that either. Actually the greatest strength. (Just gotta be careful where I stick my big mouth lol!)

Truth is....lol....wonderfully high on a morning clean cannabis buzz, slept long long time, 60 grams kava since 3 am rise, strong edibles Bluedream vapor.

Cannabis is great. You just need enough sleep to be able to really properly enjoy it in my experience.
 
Now, again, as long as “the truth” doesn’t turn out to be us planet here as a long term crop, crickets effectively, for harvest by a nefarious, purely self serving alien race, who genetically brought us into being god knows how many eons ago....


Then all other alternatives my imagination has pondered are preferable, and far less Disturbing to me personally.

But back to my point again if that really was the truth then I would honestly want to know about it sooner rather than later no question.
 
@alasdairm

I wasn't really talking about politicians. They're all liars. It's very hard to say who lies more. They're just lying about different things. I based my statement on observations of people and how they self-identify on the political spectrum.

I don't know anyone personally that likes Trump who believes his lies. Obviously there are people out there that believe anything he says, but some people are dumb as dog shit.

I'm honestly not convinced that he was more of a liar than other presidents, he just lied about shit that you're not allowed to lie about. They all lie, constantly.

I don't want to go off into a political discussion.

I shouldn't have mentioned left/right.

My opinions are not objective.
 
birdup.snaildown said:
@alasdairm

I wasn't really talking about politicians. They're all liars. It's very hard to say who lies more. They're just lying about different things. I based my statement on observations of people and how they self-identify on the political spectrum.

I don't know anyone personally that likes Trump who believes his lies. Obviously there are people out there that believe anything he says, but some people are dumb as dog shit.

I'm honestly not convinced that he was more of a liar than other presidents, he just lied about shit that you're not allowed to lie about. They all lie, constantly.

I don't want to go off into a political discussion.

I shouldn't have mentioned left/right.

My opinions are not objective.
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Its not that he lied about bigger or more forbidden things. It's that he fucking sucks at even lying. He's like the used car salesman played by Eugene Levy in the original National Lampoons Vacation. Completely full of shit, everyone can tell but he strong-armed everything to try and make himself look like the 2nd coming. He was so obviously winging basically everything but yet his followers ate it up. There are thousands, if not millions who actually believed and/or supported his bullshit.
 
The truth. Always. Even if it costs me my sanity cause I can not accept it. I never liked "the white lie" concept. If you don't want to know then don't ask. If we are talking about personal relationships (or business, or even semi-personal). I will not apply that with the cashier at the grocery store and will not expect that from an advertisement or politician. The bitter truth is the way to go.
 
Classic @alasdairm. You took what I said out of context.

sometimes people post opinions online with a degree of weight that suggests/implies that it's a factual claim.
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That's pretty vague. Sometimes people decide that opinions aren't opinions because they want to treat them as such. There was nothing about my statement that implied it was a fact.
 
I try not to have too many opinions online (or IRL). There are a few reasons for this. The first is that in my academic career a lot of my unwoke opinions would be career limiting were I too express them. I could quickly become a pariah. The second is that my opinions may turn out to be wrong, and I hate having to walk back claims that I have made when I have been in error. However, none of this means that I don’t have strong views about things.

Over time though, I’ve found that facts and circumstances change so much that even the strongest opinions are best held only provisionally. I learned this from studying and using the philosophy of Critical Realism that holds given the imperfect state of our knowledge of reality all wise truth claims are necessarily conditional or provisional. They are merely what we can say on the best available information that we have now.

So rather than having a battle of wills with someone having a different opinion to me about something, I’d rather ask them questions about the foundations of their opinion in order to test my own supppositions on whatever the topic is and see if there is cause for change. I try not to have any sentimental or egotistical attachments to my opinions on anything for this reason. Just on Bluelight over the last 18 months my views on a wide variety of things have shifted 180 degrees through dialogue rather than attempting to win debates.

That said, sometimes some views are so gob-smackingly dangerous or ignorant it’s impossible to hold back on attacking or dismantling them.
 
The number of people who've claimed they prefer the truth is inconsistent with my experiences in conversation.
 
The truth, if couched in a respectful manner. I don't want people blowing smoke up my ass in order to boost my self-esteem. Having said that, if I constantly heard the truth, I'd believe that most of it would be negative, and therefore further compound my self-esteem issues.
 
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