doesn't it seem like, when you're young and getting picked on that you're the only one? that's how i always felt, but i'm sure everyone has a story to tell.
i have always been chubby as long as i can remember. my mom always told me that i was very pretty though and had a great personality and that was much more important than being thin. she always said, "an overweight person can change, someone who is ugly or has a bad personality can't." that made since to me, so i could never understand why kids would make fun of me.
even looking back at old photos, i don't think i was fat at all. i wasn't skinny, but i sure wasn't obese.
so i used to get called fat. boys didn't like me b/c i was fat. they all were my friends, but never wanted to be my bf.
the good thing was that, that was the only thing i really ever got made fun of for when i was younger. i happened to be in the cool crowd and went to the same school from kindergarden until 8th grade and my mom tried her best to buy me clothes that were "cool," even though i know she couldn't afford it.
(thanks mom)
the summer before high school, we moved 150 miles away from the only home i had ever known. that summer i was very depressed and lost a bunch of weight. when school started all the boys were going crazy over me. something i had never experienced. the girls hated me though b/c i was the new girl getting all the attention. eventually rumors started that i was a slut and a lot of people didn't like me. i kind of was a slut b/c i was very overwhelmed with all the attention from the boys and i didn't handle it in a very lady like manor, but they made me out to be way worse than i was. it took until my junior year to get my reputation under control.
i have always been pretty much my own person and never tried to be anything i wasn't. people have always admired me for being me. even though i am a little off. i feel that i have always had pretty good selfesteem about me on the inside, but i've always wanted to be thin. i tired to starve myself, but i got hungry and couldn't take it anymore. i tried to make myself throw up, but it wouldn't work. i tired dieting, but that didn't work either.
sometimes i just want to accept that i'm overweight b/c that's me and i'm happy. then other times i am miserable and don't even want to look at myself in the mirror and wonder how my bf can even be sexually attracted to me b/c i'm so disgusting.
i virtually have no willpower. people say, all you have to do is diet or exercise. it's not that easy. i have had this struggle my entire life and i know it's b/c my mom tells me i'm beautiful and wonderful and i shouldn't care what people say, but then someone says something and then it bothers me.
I've never experienced racism (blonde, blue-eyed, fair-skinned) so I can't understand what it was like, but by the same token, you haven't experienced being teased for being fat or nerdy. Soo the moral of the story is, I think it's really good that we can all come to this thread and sympathise and feel empathetic, even though our experiences were different.
![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
Apparently, they thought I had a cocky walk and such, which is funny because I was a very studious and reserved kid. And I had a friend that would beat people up if they screwed with me. 
