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Did you get teased at school?

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I was about to go to bed but i wanna reply

During school I was the fat kid, It was such a hard time for me because I was always made fun of it for that. There was a real old boys vibe at the private school that I attended and it was more what football team u were in that decided what group u were in.

I was in different groups.. many groups I felt I was in only because my best friend was in. This led to much insecurity and still makes me think.. do these people really like me.

I genuinely saw people who they were at school and so I was friends with one guy who hated the footies and im sure they loved making fun of him. This guy turned out to be one of my best friends and so I would stick up for him as much as possible... The footies and I got on alright but when I made fun of them in the aid of my close friend, im sure it alienated me from their groups.

Of course I went through that whole teen depression thing... came to extreme lows during the HSC because I had ballooned to an enormous weight for my size. Times were tough and my insecurities about my friends and weight were making me very worried about what the future would bring.

In the past 3 years while at uni, I have really changed, im thinner and am able to socialise with more people. I still have major insecurities with myself over friendships but people are constantly reassuring me that im a top bloke... The thread recently in social is a major comfort as I feel that I have come along way.

I have gone from a person with one friend to about 100. The interaction with bluelighters and how many have become friends is a sure sign of this. I am happy now and thats all that matters.

xxx

Backo
 
dr seuss - It was the victorian town of Alexandra - I went to school there but lived in a nearby town even smaller. It wasn't a pleasant time there, and although my HSC results (yes I'm that old) weren't all together bad, they could have been a damn sight better if I didn't have to worry about being bashed at lunch time and after school.

Backo - props to you dude, from what I've seen on bluelight you have a very kind and gentle spirit - and to all the footies :p
 
thanks man that means alot to me:)

hehe fuck the footies... remember 5 year reunion is on soon... Ill have a job at a big four accounting firm, be slim and have a shame about u attitude %)

nah i could never be like that... but it will be fun
 
i dont post here much,, but i just feel the need to reply to this thread..

throughout my childhood i was always the outcast, i guess this started in first grade.....on my football team i was picked on, but i couldent quit since my parents loved my being there so much, i dont think i could count the number of fights i got in there. In school i always had a few friends through elemtery school, but once i moved up to middle school, every friend i had went to a different school, thus i was completely alone. I was basically tortured from 5th grade till 6th grade. The only reason the bullying stopped was a kid decided to pick a fight with me, i snapped and beat him bloody, breaking his nose and knocking out a few teeth, i was never really "bullied" again. i found a group of friends in 6th grade who werent really my friends, and were a bunch of a-holes, but hell it was better than nothing. Around 7th grade i found another group of friends who werent really my friends, but they are good people, and im friendly with them till this day. In 8th grade u started getting really depressed about being alone constantly and tried to kill myself...no one ever found out and its a secret that only a few know till this day. Ive got a few friends now who i love and trust...(going to be a senior in high school) and i think they really saved my life. Looking back, i was bullied because i was smarter, didnt try to fit in, and was the fat kid. Even till this day ive got serious confidence issues that i just cant shake, and social anxiety that i dont think will ever be gone..
 
Dude, I hear and understand where you are coming from, but let me tell you this. Hang in there and stick to your beliefs and goals, cause when you reach my age they will all seem like insignificant dicks!
 
My saviour with an umbrella!

<3 :)

I just remembered a funny little side note to my primary school days. The people talking about fighting back made me remember it!

There was this one kid - [name removed. blua privacy] - who was worse than all the others. I was his favourite target; and most days he'd corner me after school just to tease me mercilessly for his own amusement until I found a way to escape.

Well this one time (we were both about 8 ) , he had me up against a wall with his arms on either side of me, pushing his face up to mine and calling me names, and I was crying..... when out of the blue, over his shoulder, I saw my MOTHER charging up to us, weilding an umbrella! She's waving it around like a fucking madwoman, saying "You get away from my little girl!" and [name removed. blua privacy]nearly seriously shit his pants. You should have seen his face.

She grabbed him by the jumper and said very slowly: "You EVER touch my daughter again, and you'll regret it. Do you hear me?"

That kid never came near me again .

=D
 
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^^^SLM, that is too funny!

I got to a point in high school when I realized that going toe-to-toe with my aggressors was the best solution. When someone picked one me, I walked right up, got in their face, said something along the lines of "Yeah, I'm a freak - what are YOU going to do about??!"

That helped me out so much. I actually got some respect my last 2 years of school, because I had simply had it with people taking their crap out on me.

I was even in a small scuffle with a girl when I was a sophmore, and I came out with a black eye (long story, don't ask). After that, she used to try to proclaim her superiority over me when she walked by me in school. She & all of her friends expected me to cower in fear - I had no fear of her. Instead, I called out - "Let's go again, I'll bet you don't come out looking so pretty this time!"

That took care of her too - her friends ridiculed her, she had told them all she kicked my ass big time, when in fact, she hit me once. =D I was so happy to see her friends laughing at her - she earned it.
 
Ya know I heard something from a movie once that made my day, and I say to myself often if I start remembering this crap.

"People who reach their prime in high school, you know the hottest guy/ girl, most popular, etc. Thats it for them- its all down hill from there!!! And the people that where un-cool, smart, fat, outcasts basicly(like all of us it seems to some extent, lol )Bloom."

Thats not exactly how it went. But you get what I'm saying I hope. If someone knows where this is from or how it goes please correct me :)

An example I'll use. A girl, well woman now, lol, I forget I'm old, lol. She was the jock, great at every sport she did. Was butt ugly, but she was in the in crowd cuze of sports. I was not a sportsperson, lol. She sometime was nice to me, sometime like shit. She was a asshole basicly, anyways. I knew from the age of six till highschool.
zoooom.............10-12 years, I see her in walmart. Looking about 35, huge! I on the other hand still look 19-23 and am quite thinner than back then. She gave me a look like holly shit,lol. I could probably kick her ass now, lol.
So see its kinda like that.

Sorry this is so long but its such a good subject.
 
Please excuse my long post....

hijinx said:
Nearly everyone in this thread who got picked on seems to have been one of the 'brainy' ones in school.. do you think there's any link? I mean.. do people get picked on because they do well? Do you remember any really smart people also being cool? Or maybe being more studious meant less practice at social skills?
What do you think?
Click to expand...

Reminds me of the head boy in our final year. He was one of the guys who I had come through school with since I sarted grade 1. We never really spoke but there was always respect between us. This guy was brainy, much cleverer than me (I'm one of those who coasted thru doing just enough to get reasonable grades :)). His folks had serious pull with the school and there was serious pressure on him to succeed. Because of the sports he played he wasn't picked on like the rest of us, but I saw what it did to him.

We had a, erm , pagent (for lack of a better word) every year (Mr and Mrs Unnamed High School . Some reason this guy came through as a contestant.

I remember watching him sitting outside on a bench in one of the quads, puking his lungs out into a plastic bag that his father was holding. There were 2 teachers there consoling him. He had drunk too much vodka.

I remember thinking how mad I was supposed to be watching that, had it been myself or one of my friends we would have been kicked out of the school immediately. I knew then that I would never understand the pressure that he had been under - I really felt sorry for him.

I guess we all suffered in our own way....
 
Teasing doesn't even begin to describe it. I can't remember being happy for one single day all the way through to graduation in 1988. I preferred isolation since every interaction I had was negative. The effects of that lasted until the age of 25.

Fast forward to today. 110 pounds lighter, successful in my career, continually dating, stable, lacking any hangups of any kind when it comes to social situations, completely secure and happy in who I am. I have experienced a very wide range of what life has to offer, and I've only just begun.

I didn't attend my 10 year reunion. The only reason I would have gone would have been to burn down the building.

There were maybe two people who were at or near my "intelligence" when I went to high school. Primarily that was because books have been my best friends since as early as I can remember. High school was effortless. I obtained my advanced diploma without ever doing any homework or study of any kind.

Those two have gone on similar success in their careers. I've seen lots of my former classmates since. None recognized me. And I have the satisfaction of knowing that in every way visible to me, I have things better than any of them.

One night stands are something I don't really believe in. I made an exception and effortlessly nailed a girl who tormented me in junior high - and then I didn't return her calls except once, when I said, "Naw... thanks anyway."
 
<3 to all first off...

I would have to say though I wasn't one of the smart, or chunky, or poor kids that got picked on!
In Junior High, I did get picked on for being too skinny, and having no boobs. I also got picked on for not having the best grades. I wasn't dumb, wasn't failing by any means, just wasn't as smart as the rest of my friends.
In High School, I had gone to 3 different schools. Every school I actually got picked on not for being ugly, or fat, but none of the girls liked me because I was pretty. Simply because I took good care of myself, because I had good looks. I wasn't a the dumb blonde that I was accused of just because my hair was blonde, and I didn't have all A's. I didn't sleep around just because alot of boys would have liked me to. I hated it, I went to new schools and the girls never gave me a chance. They never cared to realize that I wasn't there to try to be with their boyfriends, I didn't want their boyfriends.
I don't think personally that people realize that you don't have to be fat, or ugly, or brainy to be picked on. People pick on who ever is not in their tight little click. People are just mean, and heartless at times! Kids think whatever keeps them popular they just don't care about the outcome, how it hurts others. I think it is so sad how people can't think for themselves, and just get to know others for whom they really are.
I ended up being such a bitch in high school, because it was the only way I could get people to listen me. The only way I could get people to hear the real me, and hear how I felt. But I would have rather been nice, and had friends.
I will never forget my senior year going to a new school. My cousin said to me before she introduced me to anyone...Emily no-one is going to like you! I looked at her and said oh well! She says "because you are pretty, and the girls are going to be intimidated by you, and the boys are going to try to be with you" Fuck that! I hated it! I actually wished I was one of the so called ugly kids that no one would care about!
 
Nearly everyone in this thread who got picked on seems to have been one of the 'brainy' ones in school.. do you think there's any link? I mean.. do people get picked on because they do well? Do you remember any really smart people also being cool? Or maybe being more studious meant less practice at social skills?
What do you think?
Click to expand...

I don't think there is a link between the "brainy" people getting picked on. I also noticed that most of the "brainy" ones, weren't actually that smart, (or maybe they were...) they just studied and paid attention in class. When i first started primary school i was probably the "smartest" kid in my grade, i used have to get my reading books from another classroom cause the ones in my room were to easy. i wasn't picked on.
There does however seem to be a link between the more studious the person the lesser the social skills, but its a big generalisation. I think its just that people tend to create thier own limitations, eg. "no-ones perfect" or "can't be good at everything". you can become and acheive everything you want.
My 0.02
 
Oh my, I remember getting teased when I was in kindergarten up through first grade. The kids thought I was a pirate cuz I was forced to wear this big bandaid looking patch over my left eye under my big ugly glasses. The eye doctor gave me these little orange stickers to wear on the patch like that was going to make it any cooler ;)

I had to wear it in effort to fix the fact that I was going blind in my right eye. Of course it's hard to be picked on like such for someone that age. My mother has told me I used to come home crying everyday from school. SO I decided screw the whole pirate look I couldn't deal with it anymore, guess my parents felt bad for me so they didn't force me to continue... Anyway, now I am legally blind in my right eye and will never be able to fix it. All cuz I couldn't handle the teasing I got in school. Damn bullies anyway! Actually I think everyone picked on my, not just the bullies. It was not a great expirience but now I wish I had toughed it out. It had almost completely reversed my condition until I quit wearing it so soon. Now I deal with only seeing out of one eye everyday. And I even get picked on for it to this day.

I believe the nickname was Captain Patch :P

~LP
 
Yeah all the time until I took up weight training in junior year and beat the fuck out of this kid who picked on me since 7th grade

Oh yeah, I wore hawaiian shirts and a cowboy hat every day to school so I sort of deserved to be made fun of
 
Yeah no one really talked to me either unless they were making fun ofme, and I had no friends

God damnit why did I have to read this thread now I'm gonna be thinking about high school again
 
very important points about growing up have been made, esp the connections between intelligence/popularity and confidence regarding consciousness.

well, my mom made me wear girls socks to school (about 1st grade) one winter day (don't know why, don't want to). naturally i resisted but i ended up going to school with them on. i remember bending over to pick up something this other guy had dropped, and my slacks raised (i went to private k-8), and the laughter ensued after he saw the socks i was wearing. another time i remember standing in line to go to the bathroom, and the guy behind me kept punching me. it hurt really bad and he wouldn't stop, i think the teacher knew but wouldn't do or say anything. i remember being teased because i was so quiet, voted most quiet of the 8th grade class. i sat in a group of desks with 2 other guys and they made fun of me, i remember wanting to break down and cry but hey, boys don't cry.

i had very few friends and lost the ones i had as they moved on to bigger and better things. from 5-8th grade i basically had no friends. i was addicted to the internet, the only time i'd leave the house was to eat dinner with my family or other times i was taken out by my father, so most of my time was spent doing the only thing to do: computer.

there are all sorts of vulnerabilities that can be found throughout the teen years. i looked like urkel because i had glasses, i was thin as a toothpick, one time i was mistaken for a girl. when i first started getting picked on i remember attempting to stick up for myself. being the relentless creatures that children are, within a matter of years my concern was worn. i recall being alot more talkative, outgoing, and initiative as a young boy and after jr high i felt deaf blind and dumb.

something that i will never forget is how being shy was something that i was turned into. i was voted most quiet of the class, and i remember wondering why i was so quiet. i came up with this crazy idea that my subconscious took over stopped me from talking. i didn't mind being shy, only being asked about it because it's not comfortable to explain.

i am now 19 and i know i have issues, even though i saw a shrink i have an omnipresent feeling of being left behind and never really enjoying my childhood. i am well on the road to recovery but i have to deal with the fact that i lost out on so many things: dates, friends, parties, memories.

i think that people who have been through these scenarios have definitely had to make a conscious effort to improve or at the least improvise self-confidence. though the past was bad it's important to remember the ugly duckling story. confidence, happiness, beauty, friendship, all these grandeurs of life have been put into perspective by anyone who's gone through any of this, perhaps moreso than those who have not. what is confidence? happiness? beauty? friendship? it's all rather subjective and in the eye of the beholder, but you can bet that people who have been picked on have had their ethical integrity tested. distance makes the heart grow fonder, i went many years without a true friend to call my own, now i have a handful of friends who mean the world to me.

in closing i think that where there's a will there's a way. it's funny how as time passes by, the people that got the most shit end up just like the ugly duckling story. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. people who have the luxury of not dealing with bullshit surely aren't getting any excersize, though
 
I've been sitting here for about 30 minutes trying to put the thoughts racing through my mind into words. I'm totally pathetic, I know...but I have tears in my eyes right now because I'm thinking about all the times I was picked on throughout my life and realizing for the first time how powerful an affect it had on me.

School was really tough on me. I was the quiet and shy one, and I was also the fat girl who always got picked last in gym. Fifth grade was probably one of the worst years. I had a few friends at first, but then they all decided they hated me. From then on it was like the whole class was competing in a contest called "Who can make Melissa cry today?" One time one of the girls sat behind me and kept running scissors along the back of my neck, threatening to cut off my ponytail. Then there was the time I wore a pink sweatsuit to school, and let me just say that if I ever hear anyone oink like a pig again it'll be too soon. That year, and for a few years after that, I felt like I was nothing but a source of entertainment for everyone else, and not in a good way. Every time I did anything remotely awkward or dorky, which was often because I was at that age, there would be giggles and whispers or a new clever nickname of the moment for me. I must have gone home crying 3 out of 5 days a week. Things did get a little better when I got to high school. I still got made fun of sometimes, but most of the time people just ignored me. I was still miserable, though. I didn't have any friends.

I was also on a competitive dance team for most of grade school, and that didn't help matters for me either. My instructor really had it out for me...I was the only one on the team other than her own daughter that she ever screamed at. She commented on my weight a lot, and she would always put me in the easy beginner routines even though I could do the more difficult ones better than some of the girls who were in them. I'll never forget the last competition I ever performed in. I got a platinum trophy...the highest you can get...for my solo. It was the first time I ever won that high of an award, and I was so excited. The next day I went to dance class, and all my instructor talked about was how easy the judging was because I got a platinum. She hadn't even seen me perform my solo that day.

Those are just a few of my horror stories. I could sit here and write all night about the things people have said and done to me, but I don't want to bore anyone. All I know is, every comment they made and every cruel joke they played weakened me. They made me petrified of people not liking me and saying bad things about me, so I worry about every word that comes out of my mouth. I also grew to be very insecure about my looks after being called fat and ugly for years. I still have those tendencies even though I'm a much happier person now than I've ever been before. It just seems that there have been a LOT of people in my life who have done ridiculously awful things to me either for their own benefit or for no reason at all.

Forgive the rambling, I'm about to fall asleep. I'll edit this in the morning.
 
middle school was horrible... i got made fun of a lot of. i think it started when i told a couple kids my uncle died of aids ( he was gay, yes), and they started to harass me and call me a fag and shit, which really pissed me off. i just kind of became slightly insecure after that, a lot of other small things too, but basically middle school was hell. high school was cool, i never got laid but i had tons of friends and was constantly partying. im such a nice guy that no one can really hate on me ... plus ive lifted weights basically everyday ( i have nothing better to do really) so now im bigger than those fuckers who used to mess around with me. i have no spite though. life moves on. the only time i got harassed was a couple weeks ago i came very close to getting a DUI then the week right after that I almost got arrested again ( had a gun pointed to my face actually) and was part of some african american going to jail ( cops were very racist). a lot to deal with, but i did deserve the "dumbass" label from some of my friends to help me get into shape. ive hardly experienced anything and ive came SOOOO close to throwing my life away. actually got marijuana possession and paraphenelia during spring break, but got dropped (thank god, or whoever is up there). after typing this it kind of makes me feel like a fuck up, but oh well its what i went through. i need to shape up my life defnitetly. fuck what was i writing about again, sorry quite hammered. im sure no one is going to read this pointless rambling anyway .
 
Damn well said ishaim, you should post more often. For being the same age as me, i definatly appreciated your writing.

Was i teased? Yup. Almost every day in middleschool. At the moment i'm not up for details, but I was an easy target, being overweight an aving extremely low self-esteem. I was full of delusions of what "real life" was because i spent so much time alone, its almost unbelievable that i've come as far as i have in the years since.


even though i saw a shrink i have an omnipresent feeling of being left behind and never really enjoying my childhood
Click to expand...

I had that horrid feeling of "i'm behind everyone, i MUST catch up I NEED TO" Its a horrid feeling because nothing you do seems good enough because you always feel your behind everyone else. paradoxaly enough, through time I've learned to stop rushing and stop trying to "catch up" and just to relax in everything i do, and life has been much more satisfying. Instead of being one big race, like it always seemed.


I think my tormented, rediculusly traumatic childhood has shaped my personality to have very positive views on life right now. I'm almost happy things turned out the way they did, because I learned a great deal of empathy for other people by being tormented. And i've made some damn good friends that i think i might not have if i were more "popular".


Theres one thing that I always wanted to do in my life, and hopefully it can still happen. And that is, sticking up for someone who is being tormented. I think that is one of the most respectable things a human can do. If you guys ever see it happening, the underdog getting shit from someone and obviously in despair, STICK UP FOR HIM. You can't understand how gracious that person will be towards you.


-peace.
 
^^ Yeah If you stick up for someone your the shit! Thats a good thing by the way ;)

When I was in jr. high a girl who was older and cool said to me if anyone bothers you tell me I'll take care of them. I of course never took her up, but just her saying that in frount of one of my main tormenters was great. Ill always remember her. I think she od'ed a while back.
 
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