CharlesTheHammer
Bluelighter
I was born and lived in N.C. for most of my younger life. Up until 6th grade, I had -0- problems in school with anyone. I wasnt the most popular kid in school, but I got along with everyone. I had friends all along, etc. I dont remember any bullies in school at that point. We had a little 'graduation' party at the end of 6th grade, as we were graduating from Elementary school, and I was voted to have the best sense of humor in our small class of about 75. I liked school, and everything seemed fine.............Then it all changed
After our little 6th grade graduation party, on our way home my father informed me that our family was being transferred again, back up North to Pa, where we had lived for 2 short years already when I was in kindergarten and 1st grade. Turns out, my Mom and Dad had known about the upcoming transfer for several months, and my father had been making trips to Pa(which I thought were just regular business trips). He had already found and bought a house in Pa, but didnt tell my brother and I til the last minute.
So we move, and I start 7th grade in Middle school where I knew no one, and I discovered that some people up North, including some teachers and high level school officials, have some negative, pre-conceived notions about Southerners. They seemed to think that we lacked intelligence, were/are closed minded, maybe racist, etc. So when I got into home room that 1st day, and I uttered my 1st sentence with a strong southern accent, I immediately started catching a hard time from many kids. Then, a few of the bullies decided that they'd pull me aside, one held my arms back, while the others punched me til they knocked the air out of my lungs. This happened regularly for the next 2-3 years. In the first days, When I tried to make friends with the average kids, they would say something like "get lost Hillbilly", or we dont like you, even though none of them knew me at all. This was all very humiliating, frustrating, embarrassing, etc. In fact, i became very familiar with those and other negative emotions til I graduated, even though by then, things were a
little better.
But I did make some friends fairly quickly, both at school, and neighbor kids as well, but they all still seemed to look down at me as being at the lower end of the 'social hierarchy' of our school. I was never able to climb the social ladder in school, because people always seemed to try to prevent it.
All this negativity at a time when you are supposed to be developing self esteem and confidence, prevented me from doing so. So I hated my school ,and most of my classmates as well. I just wanted to get the hell out of there!
When I graduated from that hell hole, and met new people from other schools, other grades, etc., they treated me as an equal, which was very refreshing. People began actually getting to know me before judging me! I started dating girls who i thought were much hotter and cooler than most of the girls from my school as well! But still, I developed a social phobia, and depression from my teens. I used alcohol and drugs to treat the symptoms of depression and social phobia, which some times worked, but often didnt.
After High school, I began vigilantly defending myself, and lashing out at anyone who tried to give me a hard time or start trouble with me. I didnt want to become an angry, hyper vigilant person, but I do try to protect myself. I have become very anti-asshole, and I have often defended others who are being singled out for being different in some way.
I have learned that there are always going to be people who will judge you based on superficial reasons, and people will be assholes and give others a hard time. You just have to learn to deal with these types of persons, who are usually just unhappy with their own lives, therefore they take it out on others.
Sometimes I've had bosses who would have an argument with their wife or something, then come to work and take out their frustrations on the people under them, throwing their weight around because as boss, they can get away with it. You just have to deal with that in a calm, non insulting way that lets your boss know that you dont appreciate being treated that way, otherwise if you get too upset, you lose your job. Ive even been to an online forum very recently, and although I followed all the rules, I brought up a topic which apparently disagreed with the ideological viewpoint of a top moderator, and he decided to throw his weight around, and he insulted me in front of all the other posters, and told me I should try "critical thinking". he was being arrogant, and abusing his position. he couldve sent me a private message, but no! Besides, i didnt do anything wrong anyway! So , I sent him a 'calm' private message that let him know in a nice, non argumentative way that he was being a douchebag!!
So, even though I rarely have to deal with people giving me a hard time because the way i carry myself, and I dont act like a victim, I still suffer from some of the lingering effects of that early humiliation. I have a class reunion coming up next year, and I part of me wants to go to show everyone that I am as good as they are, but then i realize, i dont have to prove anything to these assholes! The other part of me says just to forget about the reunion, cause if I went and someone said something stupid to me, I'd probably get in a fight, and hurt someone.
Have you been through any of this yourself, and how did you deal with it?

After our little 6th grade graduation party, on our way home my father informed me that our family was being transferred again, back up North to Pa, where we had lived for 2 short years already when I was in kindergarten and 1st grade. Turns out, my Mom and Dad had known about the upcoming transfer for several months, and my father had been making trips to Pa(which I thought were just regular business trips). He had already found and bought a house in Pa, but didnt tell my brother and I til the last minute.
So we move, and I start 7th grade in Middle school where I knew no one, and I discovered that some people up North, including some teachers and high level school officials, have some negative, pre-conceived notions about Southerners. They seemed to think that we lacked intelligence, were/are closed minded, maybe racist, etc. So when I got into home room that 1st day, and I uttered my 1st sentence with a strong southern accent, I immediately started catching a hard time from many kids. Then, a few of the bullies decided that they'd pull me aside, one held my arms back, while the others punched me til they knocked the air out of my lungs. This happened regularly for the next 2-3 years. In the first days, When I tried to make friends with the average kids, they would say something like "get lost Hillbilly", or we dont like you, even though none of them knew me at all. This was all very humiliating, frustrating, embarrassing, etc. In fact, i became very familiar with those and other negative emotions til I graduated, even though by then, things were a
little better.

But I did make some friends fairly quickly, both at school, and neighbor kids as well, but they all still seemed to look down at me as being at the lower end of the 'social hierarchy' of our school. I was never able to climb the social ladder in school, because people always seemed to try to prevent it.

All this negativity at a time when you are supposed to be developing self esteem and confidence, prevented me from doing so. So I hated my school ,and most of my classmates as well. I just wanted to get the hell out of there!

When I graduated from that hell hole, and met new people from other schools, other grades, etc., they treated me as an equal, which was very refreshing. People began actually getting to know me before judging me! I started dating girls who i thought were much hotter and cooler than most of the girls from my school as well! But still, I developed a social phobia, and depression from my teens. I used alcohol and drugs to treat the symptoms of depression and social phobia, which some times worked, but often didnt.

After High school, I began vigilantly defending myself, and lashing out at anyone who tried to give me a hard time or start trouble with me. I didnt want to become an angry, hyper vigilant person, but I do try to protect myself. I have become very anti-asshole, and I have often defended others who are being singled out for being different in some way.

I have learned that there are always going to be people who will judge you based on superficial reasons, and people will be assholes and give others a hard time. You just have to learn to deal with these types of persons, who are usually just unhappy with their own lives, therefore they take it out on others.
Sometimes I've had bosses who would have an argument with their wife or something, then come to work and take out their frustrations on the people under them, throwing their weight around because as boss, they can get away with it. You just have to deal with that in a calm, non insulting way that lets your boss know that you dont appreciate being treated that way, otherwise if you get too upset, you lose your job. Ive even been to an online forum very recently, and although I followed all the rules, I brought up a topic which apparently disagreed with the ideological viewpoint of a top moderator, and he decided to throw his weight around, and he insulted me in front of all the other posters, and told me I should try "critical thinking". he was being arrogant, and abusing his position. he couldve sent me a private message, but no! Besides, i didnt do anything wrong anyway! So , I sent him a 'calm' private message that let him know in a nice, non argumentative way that he was being a douchebag!!

So, even though I rarely have to deal with people giving me a hard time because the way i carry myself, and I dont act like a victim, I still suffer from some of the lingering effects of that early humiliation. I have a class reunion coming up next year, and I part of me wants to go to show everyone that I am as good as they are, but then i realize, i dont have to prove anything to these assholes! The other part of me says just to forget about the reunion, cause if I went and someone said something stupid to me, I'd probably get in a fight, and hurt someone.

Have you been through any of this yourself, and how did you deal with it?