Did you get picked on/bullied when younger?

[theartofwar]

What I meant was they are honest with their feelings. Most of my views changed, but I am still the same person essentially. But now it is not okay to do somethings I would like to do. I lie to not hurt feelings, I lie because I don't want to hurt people. But I am not honest, and I even trick myself. I guess what I'm trying to say is they are not intentionally bad, just doing what they do based on what others do, or what they are trying.

Cruel is the intention of inflicting pain upon others for yourself. They probably aren't really being mean, just imitating others, maybe adults, maybe other kids, but most kids at heart are not bad, at least not evil.

n3ophy7e, sorry about your experiences, it sucks that a childhood was ruined that way for you. Mines was ruined by inactivity and lack of interaction, not negative nor positive, and still I am nowhere.

Its easy to see someone as a model or entity, but in reality everyone is quite similar. They are just interacting in a different manner, sometimes in a way that damages you.

I see what you mean about kids - but being picked on as a kid by adults would be totally different then, yes ? I mean the dude who went to town on me - that mother fucker was pure evil, I honestly don't care what anyone says theres some good in everyone ... I don't believe it - some people are fucking twisted.

Just to make sure - kids imitating , agree not evil / cruel (depending on word use) but certainly hurtful.

An independent adult action - can be cruel / evil in your line of thought ?

Sorry I get confused with this stuff , it brings back hard times and I think about those times often to try to get more peace of mind.

 

[paranoid android]

I honestly don't care what anyone says theres some good in everyone ... I don't believe it - some people are fucking twisted.

I would have to agree with you there. I wouldnt call people evil but i have met some people who don't have one feeling for anyone else. Not good not even hate really just total sociopaths.

 

[theartofwar]

I would have to agree with you there. I wouldnt call people evil but i have met some people who don't have one feeling for anyone else. Not good not even hate really just total sociopaths.

numb bro, just totally numb. When you see it and recognize it its terrifying , it's completely surreal - and it absolutely exists.

 

[paranoid android]

numb bro, just totally numb. When you see it and recognize it its terrifying , it's completely surreal - and it absolutely exists.

Ive met a few people like that you look in their eyes and there is nothing there at all. It always makes me edgy and im always worried they might try something so i take precautions when i can.

 

[theartofwar]

I can't be around them honestly , I become a liability , I have my LTC and im not gonna be put in a situation where I feel like my control is a liability at all. I refuse to risk myself / those I love.

Sociopaths of any nature put me in a bad state of mind - it's just not worth it to me - problem is how well they can blend in - that's why I'm always aware , awake and prepared. Never gonna be taken for a fool again my dude - not a chance.

 

[NotQuiteAnonymous]

I was emotionally tortured by my Catholic school peers 3rd-5th grade.

I was naive, socially inept (today i would be diagnosed with ASD), very religious, a 'sensitive' girl who was cruelly tormented for gapped buck teeth, having more armpit/leg/arm hair than the boys in my class (my mom forbid shaving at such a young age) and a little blonde moustache (i'm 1/2 italian), being uncoordinated and initially not able to catch/kick a ball, having terrible b.o. (couldn't shave my pits and the shit rollon stuff my mom gave me did nothing), i had allergies and undiagnosed exercise-induced asthma (couldn't run fast or very long), i was tall but chubby (my fat was all on my upper thighs and midsection so i had thin arms/small cone-shaped gross boobies, thin calf muscles/feet a spare tire and thunder thighs). i was an emotional eater which ended at age 12 when i stopped eating much at all...i was called a man, fattie, cousin it, crybaby, a yeti, a dog, bugs bunny...etc. popular boys would pretend to be nice to me for a few days then ask me out and laugh in my face and sic the popular girls on me when i said yes. When i said i didn't like boys anymore i was called a fag, gay, and a lesbian.

One day the popular girls were in the restroom. i overheard their plot to ruin my only friendship. They were going to tell her she could be popular if she was mean to me. They planned on telling her she wasn't really popular and dumping her after the damage was done in a few weeks. When they realized i heard everything they bolted and got to her first. I confronted them while they were talking to her...she akwardly called me nasty names while they laughed gleefully and i told her what i heard them say. Joke was on them cuz she annoyed everyone and was 'popular' until i moved away because i had told her their plans, they denied everything, and i told the lot of them if they fucked her over i would fuck them up and with one hand pushed their leader onto her ass in the dirt to get the point across. Kids are FUCKING CRUEL!

 

[i roll balls]

Never bullied had beef with a few kids way back but always settled it with a good old tackle on the football field up until high school when i got into one real fight at school

 

[Depressicaa]

Ive met a few people like that you look in their eyes and there is nothing there at all. It always makes me edgy and im always worried they might try something so i take precautions when i can.

Unfortunately I am one of those people. No one can tell, but yup, I'm completely amoral. I've grown up so that I'm completely emotionally dumbed down. I want it to go away but its not something that washes off.

I've actually grown up manipulating people around me so they couldn't see it, but I couldn't care less about the people around me. Of course I'm good enough so that no one can notice it, and arguably it can even be a good quality, its just not something I want.

And I do see what you mean. I say that most people are not like that. You can hurt them. They bleed, piss, get rashes and have problems just like you and me. Most of the time they are misunderstood, not saying that they are worth knowing, but they interpret the world, albeit wrongly.

 

[Teetowl]

I went through alot of hellish bullying for 3 things, I have over productive sweat glans, I was alternative and after being in a few fights/being beat up a deformed nose..

I was suersidle, My daily school life for around 5 years or more was being kegged, having yogurt thrown on me, being spat on, primary school friends running away from me, People being passive aggressive People beating the shit out of me I was almost a bin victim but I managed to escape that one but now I am very well known person alot of people get on with me and a lot of people class me as a popular kid, But I always have paranoid trust issues I think when someone isnt putting as much effort in as me to meet up that there is something wrong. I am often paranoid about letting anyone in as I feel like I will be backstabbed or get an attachment thats too hard for me to loose.

I feel that being bullied at school has made me a stronger person and helped me deal with what I am dealing with now. I treasure people and understand people quite often and seems to be quite a good judge of character on first meets which is handy. I also find myself sometimes having to calm down if I have been pushed over, Yeah I can take being poked so much but eventually I will bite and it will be hard. I find it often hard to feel much emotion anymore I don't get as excited and happy about things as easy, But that might of been all the drugs I have indulged in the past to drown my sorrows.

 

[n3ophy7e]

I'm going to come at this from a different perspective...

I used to be somewhat of a bully at school, I wouldn't beat people up but I would often make fun of people which often resulted in laughs from everyone else. I was somewhat popular around my school and I enjoyed the attention. Until one day I was particularlly harsh towards one person, really put them down and obviously went too far because they started to cry.

Man did I feel like shit... I immediately apologised and promised that I would never make fun of them again. I did my best to try make it up to them by being especially nice and they eventually warmed to me and we became friends. I eventually got around to apologising to everyone I singled out and ended up befriending most of them. Anyway I found it worked out a lot better when I started to make fun of teachers because then everyone laughed along.

I always feel like a gigantic asshole whenever I think back to the way I used to act. I guess it was a defense mechanism because I used to be one of those people that could dish it out but never take it so I would always go after others. Disgusting behaviour in hindsight and I remember for the longest time I would feel bad about the way I acted.

I know that this doesn't really make you feel better about the way you were treated but maybe if you end up attending your graduation you will get the closure that your looking for. People change, at least give them a chance to apologise like I was given.

Hey man thanks heaps for your input, it's important to see things from the other perspective sometimes

I come from a family of educators and administrators so have heard all the behind the scenes bull that goes on between everyone from the parents and teachers to the school board politicians - the sad thing is how much more cruel the adults that surround those kids can be. The difference I think is that the children don't usually tease and bully with the intent to utterly devastate each others lives. I really believe that a lot of those kids are just mimicking what the see from adults. The gotta learn it's acceptable behavior somewhere- what's the saying:"children don't follow rules, they follow examples"

Man I totally agree, it's really really sad huh. Where else would these kids learn to behave in this way other than directly viewing how their parents treat each other, and other people etc

I was emotionally tortured by my Catholic school peers 3rd-5th grade.

I was naive, socially inept (today i would be diagnosed with ASD), very religious, a 'sensitive' girl who was cruelly tormented for gapped buck teeth, having more armpit/leg/arm hair than the boys in my class (my mom forbid shaving at such a young age) and a little blonde moustache (i'm 1/2 italian), being uncoordinated and initially not able to catch/kick a ball, having terrible b.o. (couldn't shave my pits and the shit rollon stuff my mom gave me did nothing), i had allergies and undiagnosed exercise-induced asthma (couldn't run fast or very long), i was tall but chubby (my fat was all on my upper thighs and midsection so i had thin arms/small cone-shaped gross boobies, thin calf muscles/feet a spare tire and thunder thighs). i was an emotional eater which ended at age 12 when i stopped eating much at all...i was called a man, fattie, cousin it, crybaby, a yeti, a dog, bugs bunny...etc. popular boys would pretend to be nice to me for a few days then ask me out and laugh in my face and sic the popular girls on me when i said yes. When i said i didn't like boys anymore i was called a fag, gay, and a lesbian.

One day the popular girls were in the restroom. i overheard their plot to ruin my only friendship. They were going to tell her she could be popular if she was mean to me. They planned on telling her she wasn't really popular and dumping her after the damage was done in a few weeks. When they realized i heard everything they bolted and got to her first. I confronted them while they were talking to her...she akwardly called me nasty names while they laughed gleefully and i told her what i heard them say. Joke was on them cuz she annoyed everyone and was 'popular' until i moved away because i had told her their plans, they denied everything, and i told the lot of them if they fucked her over i would fuck them up and with one hand pushed their leader onto her ass in the dirt to get the point across. Kids are FUCKING CRUEL!

Hun I am so sorry to hear about your experiences
I really hope you have adjusted okay despite the horrible things that happened to you in school. I hope that you can make peace with the whole situation and that you love yourself for who you are regardless of your difficult childhood

 

[Lysis]

I was emotionally tortured by my Catholic school peers 3rd-5th grade.

Ugh..yeah, I went to a private Baptist school, and holy fuck those kids are mean. I didn't go to public school for long, but it was great. I could just do my thing and I thought the people were nice. My ex also went to private school, and he says the same thing. WTF is up with private school bitches? LOL

 

[Missykins]

There was this girl in my class named Hope. When I was in the seventh grade, she dropped my hamster after it tried to bite her (my hamster was an excellent judge of character), and when I told my mother about it, Hope threatened to beat me up. I went to school the next day and she was waiting for me at the school bus. A teacher was there and stepped in to stop it. I weighed about 60 lbs in junior high, and she was already "developed." Two weeks later she invited me to a sleepover at her house and my mother would only let me stay until eleven. That only made things worse. I BEGGED my parents to send me away to a private school. No girl does that! So I would come up with reasons not to go to school.

I guess the moral of the story is that girls can be just as bad as boys--even meaner, IMO. There's no way I would put my daughter in public school where the teachers and parents don't care.

 

[Lysis]

Wow, Missy. It's so weird the contrast between your experience and mine. I really hated high school...seriously hated it. I was one of those kids who just didn't care about the bullshit, so I would talk to anyone even though I was a loner. This made me NOT COOL with everyone. LOL I thought public school was so much more relaxed. In private school, if you weren't friends with the popular crowd, you were socially screwed. LOL

I just met up with a high school friend of mine, and I loved it. I really enjoyed seeing her. She was one of the popular girls who was actually a good mix between mean and nice.

 

[Dave]

Yes. By both fellow students and teachers. I'd rather not go into details, as I've been able to for the most part leave that in my past (thanks to professional counselling). I do still have speech-related anxiety and some minor avoidant quirks leftover from that time, but it's just detritus compared to the mountain of shit that I used to carry around with me.

 

[T. Calderone]

I'm sorry for everyone here who was tortured in school. I was always the teeny tiniest one in each grade and feel lucky that nobody really messed with me (well, I'm a girl) But noticed the way girls and boys bully differently. Boys tend to act out and pick fights with whoever's fair game. They slug it out quickly, idk what happens next.

I'm not saying boys don't have the "pack mentality" because they definitely do. But girls take it to a higher level because they are more conniving, yet subtle when they choose their victim. They enlist the support of xx amount of friends then plot to annihilate her. They tend to mindfuck more than boys I believe.

 

[lowlow345]

No, I don't allow other people to judge me, unless they are my friends and I can trust their judgments. I don't allow strangers, who don't know anything about my character or self, to dictate who I am or what I am capable of.

 

[User Name Here]

What an awful story =/ I'm sorry you had to go through any of that. I really feel like parents and schools should be doing a lot more to curb bullying, especially now that bullies are using the internet as their main weapon (which is horrible because a victim can't even escape being bullied while they're at home). Punishment for this sort of thing should be much harsher. I would even like to see it considered a punishable assault or harrassment-type crime.

Thankfully I was never bullied growing up. I can only remember a few situations in which some little girls said negative things but it wasn't exactly bullying. I remember being in fifth grade and this girl (who is now a very famous pop star and a Disney darling) got mad at me for losing an earring during practice because our coach stopped everything so we could look for it. She told me I was stupid and kept going on and on about it. I have a feeling that she was cruel because her mom often was. She has a younger sister who is morbidly obese like the mom is, however, this girl I'm talking about was so very thin and her mother monitored everything she ate, even to the point of bullying her own daughter so that she remained thin. I think she was just doing the things that she had experienced at home.

The only other times involved me being at horse shows and little girls would sometimes make some rude comments in an effort to shake my confidence and bolster theirs. It was satisfying when I almost always beat them though

 

[paranoid android]

Ugh..yeah, I went to a private Baptist school, and holy fuck those kids are mean. I didn't go to public school for long, but it was great. I could just do my thing and I thought the people were nice. My ex also went to private school, and he says the same thing. WTF is up with private school bitches? LOL

I am very fucking glad i always went to a public school. Even the what 4 grades maybe ? i went to a catholic school it was for all intensive purposes public. It was always a rough school and that never changed when it went non denominational.

I am also glad i went to school before the internet came about or atleast became popular. Alot of shit should be nothing but a memory

 

[Missykins]

The Catholic schools in my home town were for kids who caused trouble. If you got kicked out of the public school, you went to Catholic school where corporeal punishment was permitted.

 

[Asclepius]

^
I wouldn't call them cruel, I would call them honest. If kids at a playground make fun of you because you are fat, well chances are you are very fat. If they tell you something, it comes from their heart, its not something that they trick you, of course there are manipulative ones, but they aren't common, and even when they are its very transparent, at least to me. Then again, I've always been good with kids and animals.

^This is not true at all ; with regard to Bullying , seems your confusing this issue with something far more benign like Banter/Taunting/Buffoonery etc. Most kids(or Adults for that matter) that Bully, are often trying to desperately make themselves look good at the Expense of someone they choose to deem as 'Inferior to them', it is a corrupt, strategy used solely to facillitate the bully in their desire to make themselves be seen as chief of the pecking order; through humiliation and degradation of another persons Self Esteem. It has nothing to do with Honesty. It is manipulative and often stems from the Bully's own lack of self worth and therefore nothing genuinely productive or rational results from these measures used to attain some pseudo-social status. Purposeful and aggressive Ignorance is redundant and need not be tolerated in any shape/form!

So sad to hear some of the accounts of bullying on this thread. I was bullied by a parent into my Teens and when I was a very small child, by some older kids but luckily it didnt escalate into anything too serious; I got someone to intervene. Urge anyone putting up with mistreatment/abuse by ANYONE to seek help by any means possible, even if your stonewalled, keep searching for support through any avenue possible.

Here is an outline of a True Story of a Girl who was recently bullied. It is an account of the vicious, thoughtless and destructive acts which highlight some of the ugliest side of human nature. It is just one of those extreme cases that I'm sure will sound all too common to alot of people. They havn't told all of the sordid details of what happened, to Phoebe Prince. She was a Pretty, Intelligent and kind person who also suffered from depression. Some finer details are omitted from this report ie she was subjected to rape and intolerable psychological and Social cruelty instigated by those who jealously bullied her.
Anyone who tolerates bullying promotes it and therefore perpetuates it.