Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

[FunkyDrummer75]

I was told about pristiq by my doctor a while ago, it's the new generation of effexor. It's supposed to have less side effects according to the manufacturers.

The side effects are quite severe with effexor, so it could be a good thing.

BUT, having said that, I honestly doubt that it would ever be able to be used as a taper for long term xanax use. If its working basically the same way as effexor, its does sweet fuck all for extreme cases of anxiety.

Cure the depression-> cure the anxiety, so the theory goes....

Well, reps from these drug companies provide sample packs, pens, notepads for the gp's, claim the virtues of meds, don't really have definitive proof prestiq could help in cases of GAD, then pocket a fistful when you get patients buying it in the hope of achieving release from anxiety.

MEH, its up to the individual to give it a go and see, but a week's worth of a sample of anything will hardly give the patient a clear idea if it helps, just withdrawals if it doesn't.

I'm fairly jaded these days with drug companies. Sure, no one wants to prescribe benzos long term anymore but it would be nice to invent a drug that is just as effective, but not addictive. It just does not exist yet.

Yeah, I hear you on the pharma company stuff...I know they are pushing it hard on doctors, mine gave me about 6 weeks worth of sample packs. I actually seemed to notice a bit of a change w/in a few days- and my issue is more anxiety-related than depression as well. I know it's supposed to normally take more like 2 weeks, but I have also been off/on tramadol, benzos and a bunch of other stuff (mainly lower level opiates) for the past few months so that may have something to do with me noticing the effects quicker, not sure. I was curious to get anyone's take on results of Pristiq over a several month period though....

 

[Jabberwocky]

shibada123, At some point you will just go for it because you know it is time. My assumption is you will gain confidence through doing at some point coming up soon. I could prod or attempt to coach, but those actions will have little to do with anything as things are not going to start til you are good and ready.

 

[paranoid android]

I take nortriptyline 100mgs a day as of right now. I may add something else next month since I've been getting manic lately (never has really happened before, only like a small handful of times ever).

You should really be on a mood stabilizer as well because taking a anti-depressant alone for bipolar disorder is asking for trouble. They can set off rapid cycling, hypomania, mania and mixed states.

Have you tried anything like lamotrigine or lithium? They might help you alot. Lamotrigine has done wonders for me and i was a suicidal wreck before i hit the right dose of that.

I have to see my psychiatrist on friday and im going to have a long conversation with her about what can be done to control my mania. Zyprexa works wonders but i can't afford it and am living off samples. I bought 5 10mg generic olanzapine tablets today and it cost me $30 . What a motherfucking rip off.

So i don't know what im going to do. I may add lithium to the lamotrigine and see if that will help. Thats a common combo actually. Or i may give seroquel another go or maybe the typical anti-psychotic called loxapine. It does not look like a bad drug. Failing all that i may give risperdal another shot. I didnt get along with the stuff really when i was on it but i wasent on a mood stabilizer either so i was really wacky then.

Today im feeling hypomanic and bordering on a mixed state right now and that is not a great sign. Ive been feeling manic on and off all week.

 

[dilated_pupils]

I have a lot of problems, any advice would be greatly apreciated.
I know im worthless, no real job, no experience, fuking whats the word no school shit.
I think the main thing of my sadness would be that ive gone thru pubity I can grow a beard yet my little man and his 2 friends are the same as when I was 12.
I have no confidence, no self-esteem. When I was growing up playing sport coaches would always say I needed confidence, so clearly I dont believe in myself. I cant see myself driving a car, I dont have a license and ive been eligible for 2 years to get it. Never had a gf.
I cant have a proper discussion with anyone it kills me I don't like having attention on me, I can interact with a computer 100 times better then a human. I can say two sentences then i'll have nothing to say while other people talk... Its like im ignoring people but I realy just have no idea what to talk about or what to add to the convo. Do get lonely here with my pc
Im not interested in many things. I need to be smashed on something to be interesting and then I might have something interesting to say. I cant emotionally connect with people unless im on pills.
If i did die the 10k in the bank i have could help my parents, and it wouldnt take long for people to forget me... I have thought about it but i aint there yet.
Cheers, thats about all i can think of atm.

It sounds like you are very young and going through a lot of change (just like we all have to do in our lives). However, you also sound like you could use the help of a therapist very much so, in fact I think it would be key for you to get on your feet. You seem to have some sort of social anxiety disorder possibly, but then again you only told me so much and I'm also not a doctor. But please, use the links in the first post I made in this thread, there's plenty of information and websites for finding doctors. Good luck.

You should really be on a mood stabilizer as well because taking a anti-depressant alone for bipolar disorder is asking for trouble. They can set off rapid cycling, hypomania, mania and mixed states.

Have you tried anything like lamotrigine or lithium? They might help you alot. Lamotrigine has done wonders for me and i was a suicidal wreck before i hit the right dose of that.

I know I should be, and it's been showing that I need it because I haven't been doing 100 percent. I've tried lithium but not lamotrigine, maybe I'll bring that up at my next psych appointment. I hope I can find something that works for me very well, because I've been craving to go back to normalcy for a very long time now to no avail. i'll have to let you guys know what happens.

-dp

 

[dilated_pupils]

*bump*

I have been feeling really down lately, once again... I met a new girl and she fucked me over so fast I couldn't believe it. At least I got laid out of it... but that doesn't even make me happy, I'd have rather gotten a relationship out of it. On top of that, I'm starting to get that 'lonely' feeling again even though I'm constantly surrounded by my family and friends... I hate being bipolar it truly sucks so much.

My mood swings have been horrible, and I have been doing things lately that are against my morals, for example I relapsed again on dope and was shooting it up... Why would I do that when I know where it has gotten me before? My mother actually walked in the room with me blacked out and a needle next to me (shes never seen a needle before, let alone ever thought I'd use one). I bullshitted my way out of it somehow (don't ask me) and she doesn't think I used the needle, but she still is upset that I was around it. I always wished she'd never find out I shot up and now she just about has... the look on her face, the tears rolling down it, just made me want to break down. I am such a horrible son, why do I keep doing all this stupid shit? I just want to feel good, have no pain, and feel mentally stable without having to take drugs... but I feel that will never happen.

Oh well...

-dp

 

[dilated_pupils]

I need somewhere to vent so why not use my depression thread? I am feeling completely lost and broken. I truly am never happy, and have been telling myself things will get better for so many years now that I just don't ever believe that I will be happy. Everything is always against me, because of me, for me, around me, fucking me over etc... I hate this life I hate everything that goes along with it, and I just want out! I'm past feeling suicidal, I'm at the point where I want to just do it NOW and get it over with. I am truly scared for myself because I mentally am shook. I'm a glass vase just tipping over the edge of a table ready to fall and break into pieces never to be whole again. I don't know what to do, I don't want to go away anywhere, no inpatient bullshit, I just want to be NORMAL whatever the fuck that is. I wish my best friend was still around that died, this is the kind of time in my life that he helped me the most, when I was upset and depressed. But I'm so fucking past all that as well, I'm just waiting and willing to do whatever at this point.

Fuck it.

-dp

 

[lasthurrah19]

dp, I'm sorry you feel so shitty. I've been there a lot of times... many, many times... I know you don't want to do inpatient, but maybe it would be a good idea? I often think of suicide and I don't do it because my family would be destroyed. That's really the only reason. I don't give a shit about myself, I feel as if I'm a waste of time and money and resources. I can't work, I can't sleep, I eat just about every other day. I'm on like 8 meds, all for depression/anxiety/ptsd symptoms, except one for asthma and one is suboxone. Look at all that shit I need to keep going - to keep... sitting on my computer and smoking cigarettes and fooling myself into thinking I'm cornering my addiction monster, and my past monsters. I'm not even close.

anyway, I'm sorry. I guess I don't have anything to help, except that I hope you get help from someone in person, and that I'm sending good thoughts into the universe for you... and I don't have many good thoughts, so consider that something special Hang in there.

 

[dilated_pupils]

dp, I'm sorry you feel so shitty. I've been there a lot of times... many, many times... I know you don't want to do inpatient, but maybe it would be a good idea? I often think of suicide and I don't do it because my family would be destroyed. That's really the only reason. I don't give a shit about myself, I feel as if I'm a waste of time and money and resources. I can't work, I can't sleep, I eat just about every other day. I'm on like 8 meds, all for depression/anxiety/ptsd symptoms, except one for asthma and one is suboxone. Look at all that shit I need to keep going - to keep... sitting on my computer and smoking cigarettes and fooling myself into thinking I'm cornering my addiction monster, and my past monsters. I'm not even close.

anyway, I'm sorry. I guess I don't have anything to help, except that I hope you get help from someone in person, and that I'm sending good thoughts into the universe for you... and I don't have many good thoughts, so consider that something special Hang in there.

Wow seriously what you said is sort of scary because it relates to me so much. I am on a lot of medications, including suboxone like you, and I sit at my computer doing nothing a lot of the time smoking cigarettes thinking about the past and how much I fucked up and how I am trying to move forward in life but it seems like everything is against me, like gravity is pulling me down harder than everyone else and I'm just stuck. Stuck to the place I am mentally and psychically. It truly sucks to live life like this, because people are not meant to live a life of pure depression and isolation. I don't isolate myself luckily, but I do in a way. I am very social, I hang out with my friends as much as possible, but when it comes down to it I'm still feeling alone when I'm with people I care about and that's just not right. I really hope as well that I can move past this part/chapter in my life and see the so called 'light' and move towards it (not in any religious sort of way). Anyway thanks again for the thoughtful and kind words.

-dp

 

[lasthurrah19]

Anytime, friend.

 

[imahustler420]

I think we all wish there was something like that, that we invented. You never know, I always wanted to invent a non-addictive opiate... but I don't see that happening anytime soon.

-dp

Welp there is always Kratom which stimulates the opiate receptors and comes in different strains suiting to your needs if you like the opiate sedation then bali is your thing. If you like the speediness you can get off oxy then try Thai/Malaysian.

It will work great with no W/D if used in a recreational manner. I'm personally a daily user for over 2 years now on plain bali leaf, I don't use it to get high but to manage my anxiety and kill my opiate cravings. But it still provides a great mood lift =)

Best decision I ever made was to switch off Rx opiates to Kratom. By the way it contains no real opiate, just other alkaloids that stimulate the same receptors so it would not trigger a positive for opiates on a test.

 

[Excido]

I can empathize with many of you.

I feel so horribly suicidal. I feel like my life is meaningless and pathetic, I have no self-confidence, no self-esteem. I haven't had a gf (I'm 19) and most of my friends are in relationships and every time they talk about them my thoughts instantly plummet into a depressive spiral. Not because I envy them or anything, but because it causes me to reflect on what I don't have. And most of it feels unattainable.

My mind state is precariously balanced w

I think my main problem is the loneliness. And the loneliness is caused by the low self-esteem which is caused by a myriad of physical problems and insecurities. I just want someone to love.

I despise my physical body. I've suffered SEVERE depression for the past year and a half, caused me to drop out of university.

My friends are one of the only reasons I haven't offed myself yet but lately even being with them doesn't mitigate my feelings of overwhelming dejection.

In its early stages the suicidal ideation and depression could be "masked" I guess by things I like doing, hanging out with friends, watching movies, reading, playing games, sleeping. When I felt like killing myself I could sleep and wake up feeling somewhat better. But nowadays nothing helps. The thoughts creep through and are debilitating. I can't think, I can't do anything, all I can do is sleep and even then I wake up wanting to die.

I am becoming increasingly reckless in the hope that my life will be shortened. I seriously don't expect or even want to live to 21. I'm getting my hands on some Oxy which scares me because then I'll have a painless and almost euphoric method of killing myself.

I have been on anti-depressants and all they seemed to do was increase my suicidal thoughts or numb me to the point where I still feel utterly hopeless but the strong emotions that would drive me to suicide were blunted.

My home life is also slowly battering me down. I have a relatively large immediate family and find no peace. My mother is MASSIVELY overbearing and ignorant. I've come now to almost ignore her and humour her just to shut her up.

I feel dead inside. I'm also becoming increasingly bitter and hateful. I feel at wits end, and I don't know what to do.

 

[dilated_pupils]

I can empathize with many of you.

I feel so horribly suicidal. I feel like my life is meaningless and pathetic, I have no self-confidence, no self-esteem. I haven't had a gf (I'm 19) and most of my friends are in relationships and every time they talk about them my thoughts instantly plummet into a depressive spiral. Not because I envy them or anything, but because it causes me to reflect on what I don't have. And most of it feels unattainable.

My mind state is precariously balanced w

I think my main problem is the loneliness. And the loneliness is caused by the low self-esteem which is caused by a myriad of physical problems and insecurities. I just want someone to love.

I despise my physical body. I've suffered SEVERE depression for the past year and a half, caused me to drop out of university.

My friends are one of the only reasons I haven't offed myself yet but lately even being with them doesn't mitigate my feelings of overwhelming dejection.

In its early stages the suicidal ideation and depression could be "masked" I guess by things I like doing, hanging out with friends, watching movies, reading, playing games, sleeping. When I felt like killing myself I could sleep and wake up feeling somewhat better. But nowadays nothing helps. The thoughts creep through and are debilitating. I can't think, I can't do anything, all I can do is sleep and even then I wake up wanting to die.

I am becoming increasingly reckless in the hope that my life will be shortened. I seriously don't expect or even want to live to 21. I'm getting my hands on some Oxy which scares me because then I'll have a painless and almost euphoric method of killing myself.

I have been on anti-depressants and all they seemed to do was increase my suicidal thoughts or numb me to the point where I still feel utterly hopeless but the strong emotions that would drive me to suicide were blunted.

My home life is also slowly battering me down. I have a relatively large immediate family and find no peace. My mother is MASSIVELY overbearing and ignorant. I've come now to almost ignore her and humour her just to shut her up.

I feel dead inside. I'm also becoming increasingly bitter and hateful. I feel at wits end, and I don't know what to do.

First off, I've been where you are right now, actually I'm kind of still there right now, but maybe a tad bit better off than what you're saying. SSRI's never made me feel any better either, they made me worse, and I found out that I'm actually bipolar and that SSRI's can make you worse. So maybe you need to find a new doctor and get re-evaluated.

Next, try and write a list of positive things you can do and make a routine out of those things. It may be tough at first but I'm sure you can do it with a little bit of willpower. After you do that you will feel a lot better and feel more of a purpose in life.

When you're feeling suicidal, try not to surround yourself with people who use, or drugs in general. They may mask the feeling of depression while you're high, but in the long run you will either end up killing yourself by OD or you will have a horrible addiction that makes you just want to die more so than in the first place.

I wish you luck and if you need anything please PM me I'm always around.

-dp

 

[Green1]

hey dilated concerning what you said about my posting

you said it's irrational

I understand why you are rationalizing things

it's the doctors and the medication, science, an explanation to everything

I am rather fearful of taking medication (anti-dep)
the world is the problem not me

but really, if medication does help people (and i'm sure it does, then yeah i'm all for it)

but there is something about taking pills everyday to make it better

what exactly is making so many people depressed ?

 

[dilated_pupils]

hey dilated concerning what you said about my posting

you said it's irrational

I understand why you are rationalizing things

it's the doctors and the medication, science, an explanation to everything

I am rather fearful of taking medication (anti-dep)
the world is the problem not me

but really, if medication does help people (and i'm sure it does, then yeah i'm all for it)

but there is something about taking pills everyday to make it better

what exactly is making so many people depressed ?

First off, medication does help it's all about finding the right one(s) though. People are depressed for numerous reasons, mainly stress and the fact that people have chemical imbalances are what cause depression in the first place.

Some people can naturally deal with depression better than others, and some require help. But you should never feel bad, or down about getting help from another human being... it's part of life. We all need help at some point, living on your own you will come to a road eventually where outside help is needed. I hope you can find the right doctor (if you choose to do so) and the right medications. Because I sincerely hate how my life is I always feel like I want to end it, but in the end it all comes down to how much I've already been through, what could possibly out weigh all that? I surely hope nothing.

-dp

 

[Excido]

Anti-depressants DO work, they've worked wonders for two of my friends, I guess I just got to find the right ones.

Thanks for the kind words dilated, I talked to a friend as well, feeling somewhat better.

 

[Green1]

They just published a study from Vancouver BC

1/3 of university students suffer from mental illnesses

are you surprised ?
worst is they say, some people probably didn't admit it , because it's considered a weakness

welcome to the real world, where people are fucking crazy

there was an ad in the paper, about a support group
I emailed the person

she referenced me to a place for victims of harassment/crime etc

I went there once, but it was closed for the weekend, now it pushes me more to go there

they offer emotional support, god knows how much i've been through

i'd really have to write all my life for you to understand, it's been like a fucking ride in hell

 

[lasthurrah19]

I've had a very fucked up life myself, Green. A lot of people have, that's what drives a lot of 'mental illness'... that 1/3 number wouldn't surprise me. But there is a big continuum of mental illness; some are obviously way worse to function with. There are plenty of people who are so mentally ill, they cannot go to university, they are not currently stable enough. Who knows how many of people are in that boat... I would also imagine a lot of the people are in their early 20's, where people are still in school and a lot of mental illnesses start to really start showing symptoms.
I'm not sure what my point is. Good luck with the reference you got.

 

[dilated_pupils]

They just published a study from Vancouver BC

1/3 of university students suffer from mental illnesses

are you surprised ?
worst is they say, some people probably didn't admit it , because it's considered a weakness

welcome to the real world, where people are fucking crazy

there was an ad in the paper, about a support group
I emailed the person

she referenced me to a place for victims of harassment/crime etc

I went there once, but it was closed for the weekend, now it pushes me more to go there

they offer emotional support, god knows how much i've been through

i'd really have to write all my life for you to understand, it's been like a fucking ride in hell

I'm not surprised at that statistic at all. In fact I would bet it's actually more than that, because there are a lot of variable when it comes down to it.

I'm sure you're life has been very hard, I know mine has been, and yes I understand we both have had different experiences but in the end we all get depressed, that's why I made this thread I want everyone to come together and realize that their not alone.

I've had a very fucked up life myself, Green. A lot of people have, that's what drives a lot of 'mental illness'... that 1/3 number wouldn't surprise me. But there is a big continuum of mental illness; some are obviously way worse to function with. There are plenty of people who are so mentally ill, they cannot go to university, they are not currently stable enough. Who knows how many of people are in that boat... I would also imagine a lot of the people are in their early 20's, where people are still in school and a lot of mental illnesses start to really start showing symptoms.
I'm not sure what my point is. Good luck with the reference you got.

I am one of those people who can't got to college because of my mental illness but I do go anyway, and last semester my grades were terrible I am a very smart person, straight A's all through school until I hit college and my bipolar started showing up. It's just gotten worse, and I may take off this next semester just to get myself more mentally healthy. Hopefully things work out for the best though. And it's funny you said early 20's because I am in my early 20's... but then again I've read before that this age is where things like bipolar start to shine out.

-dp

 

[lasthurrah19]

I'm not surprised at that statistic at all. In fact I would bet it's actually more than that, because there are a lot of variable when it comes down to it.

I'm sure you're life has been very hard, I know mine has been, and yes I understand we both have had different experiences but in the end we all get depressed, that's why I made this thread I want everyone to come together and realize that their not alone.



I am one of those people who can't got to college because of my mental illness but I do go anyway, and last semester my grades were terrible I am a very smart person, straight A's all through school until I hit college and my bipolar started showing up. It's just gotten worse, and I may take off this next semester just to get myself more mentally healthy. Hopefully things work out for the best though. And it's funny you said early 20's because I am in my early 20's... but then again I've read before that this age is where things like bipolar start to shine out.

-dp

I'm just going to do one class next semester, I tried 4 not last winter and it didn't go so well. So I am in that boat as well. I worked full time ++ for several years but I blocked out symptoms with drugs until really close to my 23rd birthday, now that I'm not on drugs all the time (even though I relapse a good amount...), and I've had some treatment for my depression/anxiety/ptsd/did, something just changed and I need to get at least back to where I as was (without drugs this time, or without narcotics anyway), I don't know exactly what that will take but I know i'm working on it with therapy and taking my antidepressant, etc.
Never thought I'd be so depressed/dissociated I couldn't work and/or go to school. Sucks. But it's gotten better since I started getting therapy so I am definitely not complaining.

 

[paranoid android]

Anti-depressants DO work, they've worked wonders for two of my friends, I guess I just got to find the right ones.

Thanks for the kind words dilated, I talked to a friend as well, feeling somewhat better.

I agree that they do work but it takes alot of trial and error. The one that works the best for me is wellbutrin but how often is that the first one psychiatrists or worse GP's try you on? Almost never because 9 times outta 10 it's a SSRI. This is unless you are bipolar in which case wellbutrin is the safest anti-depressant you can take so that's often what they try you on.

Wellbutrin has worked wonders for the bipolar depression i get as well as the SAD i get in winter. It's a real mood brightener. It really works well in combination with my other psych meds which are lamotrigine, clonazepam and zyprexa as needed.

So yes they do work you just have to hit the right one. Too many people get prescribed about 3 different SSRI's then totally give up on anti-depressants.