Mental Health Depression MEGA Thread - DepressionTalk + Over 100 Links of Info

[Green1]

hey bro it's okay, I take everything seriously and am very sensitive

 

[BrahamCracker]

I know i need to chill. I just have all these expectations for myself and how to live my life and not being in control (unemployed) is something im not used to. venting and getting advice here is always the smart thing to do cuz your good people. thanks.

and the gf thing is still messed up but oh well

 

[dilated_pupils]

really good thread here, lotta good stuff...

heres a little short story, i was diagnosed with mdd last year, attempted suicide, hospitalized twice and suffer severe social anxiety, though oddly enough never been officialy diagnosed.
within this year ive been able to manage my depression without meds, i stopped taking meds because of too many side effects, seems like once you start feeling negative side effects from one drug, its more likely youll get side effects from others.

plus, not one of the many anti depressants i took helped, paxil did slightly, but once again the side effects were too much (extreme twitching)
ive finally noticed that my anxiety drives my depression because if i screw something up, or have a weird/akward moment/conversation and whatnot i dwell on that til the next time i do something akward or wrong and then that affects my depression, until i cant handle it...this is exactly what led to my first suicide attempt.

so with that said, my pcp just rxd me today doxepin and lorazepam until i can get my pdoc appt that he reffered me to, does anybody think this combo would help with said illnesses?
maybe from personal experience or hear say, just opinions...anyways, im gonna look through the rest of the links

Stick with the doxepin and ativan for now until you can find the proper treatment. You will eventually find a med combo that works for you... it does sound like your anxiety is getting the best of you. For example you think about bad side effects and no doubt you're going to notice every little negative thing that a medication does to you. Fixing your anxiety may unlock the key to finding the right medication. Good luck.

im off for summer break from my dream college, after meeting a beaitiful, smart and caring girlfriend and rising up in my major.

So far this summer, can't find a job, girlfriends cheating on me, living at home bored most of the time, depressed, anxious over how im going to pay rent at school 200 miles away from home, not to mention how i feel that my girlfriends cheating. I just got clonazepam and its the only thing holding me from blowing up somehow.

Ive been through rehab and im clean to the point of occasional drinking but i need something to help me. You might say benzo's are bad, id agree, but i need them.

As for the job anxiety, im pretty much fucked. I hate not being in control and I find myself unable to do anything productive because i feel it doesnt matter. I hope somebody can tell me they understand and know how I feel. I'm losing it.

Man we've all been basically in your situation... I just got back from school a couple months ago, I lost my girlfriend of about a year, I'm majorly depressed from my bipolar, my anxiety is still fucking horrible, and now I just found out I'm going to jail for my 2nd DUI. So life ain't too good for me right now either. You just gotta tough out these rough patches until life has some good stuff to offer you. I hope you get through all this bs and get yourself on your feet, as do I hope I get back on my feet as well.

-dp

 

[noreason41]

I've always found my problem with anxiety is its impossibility to cure. I don't want to see a doctor or psych about it, it's the reason for that. I'm terrified of it.

Aside from that, a lack of belief that i will ever be 'normal' in the sense, i act like its fine...but on the inside its eating at me. I'm scared that it's going to limit the rest of my life as it's doing to me now. Socially its extremely hard, and only ever gets harder.

There comes a point where i lose hope, and it causes me to use more and become more depressed...but it just seems like theirs nothing i can do about it...

Theirs so much i wish i could tell my friends, but i can't and probably never will because of my fear of what they'd think of me. It's irrational, it's stupid...but its not something i can change.

 

[ocean]

^You would be amazed at the power of positive thinking
A bit cheesy and in the beginning you may feel like you are lying to yourself but it helps.
But instead of thinking 'there is nothing I can do ' you could try saying to yourself something like 'I will take control and find a way to fix this' - I'm not sure what your 'problems' are but try a little brainstorming and positive thinking and see where it takes you......
As far as anxiety goes- have you tried deep breathing? Meditation?
Are you on medication for it? What sort of anxiety to you have?

I don't really feel there is a 'normal' ya know?
Everyone is different.....
Every family has someone with mental illness,everyone has their faults,their quarks,their obstacles in achieving what they want.........I think there is no normal
It isn't all that unusual to think your friends won't understand certain parts of you-
And I don't think its irrational- but you have to love yourself enough to not let that matter.
Again, I don't know what your problems are or what it is you are afraid to tell your friends but if they can't accept you for your faults, than they aren't a real friend.
A real friend is someone who stands by you and supports you, encourages you and accepts you for your faults and your opposing views.
If you agreed on everything,your relationship would be boring.
It is good to have things and common and relate to your friends, but it is also good to be YOU not someone you want people to think you are, ya know??
You can always talk to us here if you want to get something out that you are afraid to tell your friends......we're a pretty accepting bunch.

 

[dilated_pupils]

I've always found my problem with anxiety is its impossibility to cure. I don't want to see a doctor or psych about it, it's the reason for that. I'm terrified of it.

Aside from that, a lack of belief that i will ever be 'normal' in the sense, i act like its fine...but on the inside its eating at me. I'm scared that it's going to limit the rest of my life as it's doing to me now. Socially its extremely hard, and only ever gets harder.

There comes a point where i lose hope, and it causes me to use more and become more depressed...but it just seems like theirs nothing i can do about it...

Theirs so much i wish i could tell my friends, but i can't and probably never will because of my fear of what they'd think of me. It's irrational, it's stupid...but its not something i can change.

You know your problem, which is anxiety and depression, and you feel you can't do anything about it. I feel very bad for you because you have done the first step of recognizing the symptoms you have, but you are lacking the motivation to get the help you need.

You may feel afraid of opening up, but maybe you need to actually start there with a psychiatrist, or at least a friend. Open up about smaller things at first, then work your way up to your depression and anxiety. If this doesn't work for you, maybe writing your problems down and handing a note to your doctor will work better. Or even an email would work... anything at all that will allow you to open up better to receive the help you need.

Please don't feel ashamed of being depression or having anxiety, I have extreme depression and anxiety alongside my bipolar. My anxiety eats away at me but I keep on keeping on and try to find the right medications for me. I just started on a new mood stabilizer and I'm hoping this will be the right medication for me. I have tried so many different meds and it is hard dealing with it all sometimes, but with the support of family and friends you will find peace within yourself eventually. Even if you think your family and friends will not be there for you, you will have people you meet while receiving treatment that will be there for you, so you know right off the bat that someone will be caring about how you are feeling day to day... a good doctor will allow you to call them when you are having an anxiety attack/horrible depression to talk yourself out of whatever is going on, and I sincerely hope you find the help you need.

Please use the links provided on the first page of this thread that I have put together to find the help that you may need. If there is anything else you need help with, don't hesitate to PM me I know a lot of information on anxiety and depression first hand, plus all the research I've done, so I am able to give good advice in those specific areas. Good luck.

-dp

 

[Mister Superzombie]

My GP, with who I finally had an appointment recently, told me I had depression and social phobia. Social phobia probably caused the other. Anyway he wants me to see a psychologist and see me again in a month or so to decide wheter I should be medicated or not.

The idea of opening up to a psychologist doesn't make me very happy, but the way I see it there isn't much other solutions, if any, so I'll give it a try.

 

[lasthurrah19]

It's hard to open up to a stranger, especially one who you know is trained to analyze your every word and body movement. But if you want to feel better, and want to try and see if meds will help, that's the way to go. Ask friends for recommendations if you are open with your friends like that - better than just picking one at random. And if you don't like the doc, go to someone else. You get to pick someone you like. I passed on the first and love the second one, he's really awesome, and I never expected to have a male psychiatrist I could open up to. Good luck.

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

Depression and anger

I've been working with psychologists and psychiatrists for about 15 years on therapy and medication. I'm not here looking for professional advice.

I was wondering if anyone else have depression with predominantly anger-related symptoms and problems? If so, what have you found helpful?

Some posts mention getting good results by switching to a mood stabilizer instead of SSRI's. There are also discussions about anger management with lots of tips, but they are devoid of depression content altogether, so not sure if they are the same thing.

The symptoms that cause me functional problems are anger/rage, destructive behavior, suicidal tendencies, and insomnia. The other symptoms are a bummer, but don't usually cause immediate social problems, or to be completely immobilized. Nearly always, I will get depressed/feel hopeless ONLY after a series of irritating events that I have maladaptive responses to.

 

[BeckyLee]

May I ask what you are angry about? Those definitely sound like bipolar symptoms to me (I am NOT a dr though); you should definitely look up "mixed state" bipolar. It is very common to feel manic but agitated/angry or depressed at the same time.
I highly reccomend seeing a competent pdoc and writing out your symptoms, bring in research you've found on medical journals online (webmd is a good start), and have a checklist of topics you feel are of serious concern.

 

[toomuchpain]

sorry, im double posting...

Double depression (dysthymia & mdd)

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the more research ive been doing the more i realize i may suffer from double depression, and i remember this term from being hospitalized a year ago.

so before being hospitalized i was dxd with dysthymia by one pdoc, then i tried to kill myself and the institutions pdocs dxd me with mdd.

im not sure how many episodes most ppl get when they have mdd, but i have them quite frequently and today (july 4th) seems to be another day where i am having another episode, you know because ive been home alone all day, too afriad to enjoy the day and festivities (social phobia), i hear all these ppl outside having fun, partying, laughing, having a great time and it kills me inside that i cant.

i feel horrible, no current thoughts of suicide at the moment, but i am hating myself right now, im suppose to see my pcp monday, waiting for my pdoc appt, and i have no idea when that is going to be.

im curious tho, is double depression an extreme level of depression, with the combo of dysthymia and mdd, is it harder to recover from?

 

[dilated_pupils]

^^Have you ever been actually diagnosed with anything before or is it all things you are speculative about? Don't be so quick to jump on the gun, if you're lucky you're just going through some shit right now and maybe over time you will be okay, therapy couldn't hurt. And possible medications could help you out a lot if you really do have severe depression problems, especially if you're feeling suicidal.

When I looked up double depression on wikipedia (yeah not always the best source for info but I just wanted to see what was there) Dysthymia popped up. I just was reading more about it and it's possible you could have that. But I'm not a doctor so I would go to one and figure out what's up with you, never leave your mind at a state that you're not happy with, or you're just torturing yourself.

 

[toomuchpain]

Yes ive been diagnosed before with dysthymia, then after i tried to kill myself i was diagnosed again with mdd!!!

Fuck it, i dont know why i try to get help anyhow anywhere, if things dont get better and drs continue to ignore the real problem i have no worries about me killing myself, im fuckin tired of it

 

[Green1]

^^
hey bro, I totally know where your coming from, myself I've been looking for help, or just someone that understands, I think this is the battle your on your own motherfucker...

I was wondering, when they diagnose you with something?

Does that stay with you ? (Canada)
like do they send it to the doc, and you are labeled this or that, is that a diagnosis ?

after that all the jobs you will have people will know ?

right now I am feeling fucking fucked up
lots of hate

It's such a dilemma, living with a fucked up father, not paying rent or going out in the world
never be free

hmm

I don't think I can work that much it's not healthy

man I would love to die and be done with it

 

[toomuchpain]

i feel u bro, one of the worse things is that even tho i have a mom and brother, their both involved into their own things, doesnt even care about whats happening to me, that lonliness isnt helping me at all

 

[Green1]

yeah I have some kind of scar that appeared on my face, and all I can see is that
and my appointment with the dermatologist is only in october

sure you can say, that's small
but I am obsessive/compulsive

so to me, that's enough reason for me to kill myself
man I am so tired of living

I always find something...

that's just a small thing, but it's much more complicated
it's the whole thing, the why the fuck did I have to go through all this shit, and it just doesn't end, it's everyday

no wonder people kill themselves, and you know what
there is something fucking wrong in the world today...

 

[dilated_pupils]

All the problems we have are only as big as we make them... Having OCD sucks, I have it terribly, more so with my mind set. The OCD propels my anxiety, and then I end up having panic attacks sometimes. Alongside all that bullshit, I deal with the extreme conditions my bipolar disorder continuously throws at me which is a battle that just seems cannot be won. Every medication I've tried either doesn't work, or only works for a short period of time, or there's too many negative side effects to deal with.

Life is a constant struggle, but once we fight off all (or most of) our problems we can life in peace. This doesn't mean you have to be cured of your conditions but at least be able to handle them. Without therapy and medication a lot of people can't ever get to that place of peace. I am still pushing myself to try new medications, seeing new doctors (although lately I've been slacking), and reading all the information I can to learn more about my conditions.

Death is not an alternative to medication/therapy. It really is just a way out of not only your conditions and what you feel from them, but it makes you cease to feel anything every again. In life there is a lot of bullshit to deal with, but honestly, you can overcome a lot of it and still come out on top. Even those people who seem helpless have a chance, everyone has a chance. You need will power, and with the will there is a way.

Seriously, I don't want to see anyone here or anywhere hurt/kill themselves over anything, especially if it's something that can ultimately be treated.

-dp

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

May I ask what you are angry about?

Maybe better described as overly irritable, or a low tolerance to stress. An analogy that comes to mind (when I lose it) is being in a straight jacket and trying to bite something just out of reach... or like a fish flopping around on a deck trying to get back into the water.

Those definitely sound like bipolar symptoms to me (I am NOT a dr though); you should definitely look up "mixed state" bipolar. It is very common to feel manic but agitated/angry or depressed at the same time.

I highly recommend seeing a competent pdoc and writing out your symptoms, bring in research you've found on medical journals online (webmd is a good start), and have a checklist of topics you feel are of serious concern.

That's a great idea, thanks. I'll try doing that with my current docs and see what happens.

 

[Lifeonthepharm]

I take nortriptyline 100mgs a day as of right now.
-dp

Is it prescribed to take all at once, or in split doses?

 

[3dmusic]

firstly, I hope things are going as smooth as possible for everyone on this thread, and for those who feel shit, i hope it is for as short a time as possible.

I'm just working the courage to go to the shops, a whole five minutes away.
Can seem like five days away if you are uncomfy in your own skin.