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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

DecENDber/LESSember

Haha TAOW my buddy vomits too when he does deadlifts I always use to make fun of his ass over it too lol. But I hear yah man I had to stop doing them myself as my back doesn't agree anymore, same with heavy shrugs I try to do lower intensity shit just to spare my body. Its realistically cause I'm just getting old I think lol.

Calm animal thats awesome man I know the exact spot you're in. I was on bail for 9 months which was all clean time prior to getting handed a 7 year flat. But if I didn't have that initial clean time I NEVER would have made it through that experience. You really need to be sharp/clear headed going into an environment like that. And the biggest tip I have for you (if you haven't been before) is 2 things.
One is learn how to swallow your ego as people do have their bad days in the slammer and most of my fights started over worthless shit like putting my face over someones food. Its not worth catching any bluesheets and I'm not sure where you're going in Jersey but chances are I might have been to the same prison you're going to and know the general atmosphere (although obviously you won't know where you're going till your sentenced sometimes age/history can give you an idea).
And lastly know when to assert your ego the opposite of my last piece of advice. If someone snaps on you out of nowhere thats usually a good time to avoid a fight. If someone is persistently trying to provoke you thats a different situation and needs to be addressed accordingly.

I wish you the best man and if you ever just wanna shoot the shit about it send me a pm.
 
Ramble'ly post

theartofwar said:
smokin herb honestly evens out the vast majority of cravings for me ONCE I am completely physically clean from opiates I've found over the years.

money well spent in my opinion.
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Completely agree on both points. I just haven't had a completely 24 hour, midnight-to-midnight, sober day in over 7 years. Taking some time off from herb wouldn't be the worse thing for me. Got to start working on that.


Lately I feel like I'm waking up in the middle of a life that was in near shambles. I'm trying me best to resurrect it, but I sometimes don't feel like I'm making the best decisions.

I just don't know what I'm working towards. There is no grand plan. There's a bunch of half-baked plans.


I think I'd like a girl again. Feels kind of early to get into any kind of relationship now though.


It's weird not having a single source of feeling complete. Like an 80 might give or a loved one or something that you're really into I guess. I like a bunch of things. I get happy about things. I feel good about things. I am lacking something though. Exercise perhaps....


I'm doing good though. Rough weekend feeling sick, where I did use oxy one night (3 nights ago now). It was 11 nights after the other use, but I didn't really consider this a relapse as much since my stomach was really hurting me quite a lot. Use adderall maybe twice a week, caffeine maybe once or twice.
 
good shit man^ don't give into those cravings.

and thanks BoJ. i have been asking around and have gotten alot of good advice similar to what you have said.
 
I just turned 20 and have been doing drugs since I was 14. Mostly started with weed, alcohol, mdma, shrooms, lsd and amphetamines. It wasn't until 2 years ago that I found my true love: opiates. My opiate abuse has increased in the last few months and lately I've been doing about 40-60mg of OC 3-4 days a week. Wanted to cut down significantly by the end of the month and so far I've been a little better. I also want to cut down on cigs and get back to running regularly but that's kinda a lower priority.
 
Bojangles69 said:
Haha TAOW my buddy vomits too when he does deadlifts I always use to make fun of his ass over it too lol. But I hear yah man I had to stop doing them myself as my back doesn't agree anymore, same with heavy shrugs I try to do lower intensity shit just to spare my body. Its realistically cause I'm just getting old I think lol.

Calm animal thats awesome man I know the exact spot you're in. I was on bail for 9 months which was all clean time prior to getting handed a 7 year flat. But if I didn't have that initial clean time I NEVER would have made it through that experience. You really need to be sharp/clear headed going into an environment like that. And the biggest tip I have for you (if you haven't been before) is 2 things.
One is learn how to swallow your ego as people do have their bad days in the slammer and most of my fights started over worthless shit like putting my face over someones food. Its not worth catching any bluesheets and I'm not sure where you're going in Jersey but chances are I might have been to the same prison you're going to and know the general atmosphere (although obviously you won't know where you're going till your sentenced sometimes age/history can give you an idea).
And lastly know when to assert your ego the opposite of my last piece of advice. If someone snaps on you out of nowhere thats usually a good time to avoid a fight. If someone is persistently trying to provoke you thats a different situation and needs to be addressed accordingly.

I wish you the best man and if you ever just wanna shoot the shit about it send me a pm.
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I always puke when I deadlift and squat, anytime you put that pressure on your stomach its just gonna happen lol.

so far so good - did some K which I don't mind one bit, regrets was got a few ciggs - kinda hard to do K without smokin ciggs not gonna lie. But today up early, training and no smokin so had a good time (plus being away from opiates was nice to have a lil kick back n relax). So far so good.
 
Hey BO or anyone else,I have a ? maybe you can anser.
What do yuo think about me getting a couple 10mg methadone pills to take for 2 or 3 days after i stop my subs.
I remember a while ago i did just that and as far as i can remember i felt pretty good after i did that.
The only reason i wanna do this is cuz its still hard 4 me to stop the subs even at such a small dose.
So i was thinking to get 3 10mg pills and take one a day for 3 days and hopefully due to its long half life i should b fine.
So what you guys think? I really wanna stop wit the sub allready and i am not woried about faling back into addiction cuz of the methadone.
 
Lately I feel like I'm waking up in the middle of a life that was in near shambles. I'm trying me best to resurrect it, but I sometimes don't feel like I'm making the best decisions.

I just don't know what I'm working towards. There is no grand plan. There's a bunch of half-baked plans.

I think I'd like a girl again. Feels kind of early to get into any kind of relationship now though.

It's weird not having a single source of feeling complete. Like an 80 might give or a loved one or something that you're really into I guess. I like a bunch of things. I get happy about things. I feel good about things. I am lacking something though. Exercise perhaps....

I'm doing good though.
Click to expand...

I feel very similar. Most days it's like wtf am I doing with my life? I am trying that is a lot more than I could have said in the past.

edit: oh yeah 10.5 months clean from benzos/opiates, its gotten better GREATLY but it still sucks.
peace.
seedless
 
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Totach I use to talk about this with hamclamp a lot and his friend through 1 dose of suboxone on the end of a pod habit (after a taper) and said he got no wds at all. I also know people will do it at the end of oxy habits with lots of success as long as you taper.
So throwing methadone at the end of a sub habit makes sense due to the longer half life. However, theres really no need for a second or third dose and I'm just being honest. Your body CAN become tolerant much quicker than you'd think, and after that 3rd dose of methadone 3 days later you'd likely feel worse than if you had just took 1 dose right at the end.
It will take any residual wds you would have had and slow down the rate that they manifest, to the point where its spread out over so many days you don't realize you're even wding. It does definitely work, and for anyone who tapers off anything, if you throw just 1 dose of a long acting opiate right at the end of the habit it helps a lot with the intensity of wds. And at the dose of sub you're on now I can almost guarantee you're not gonna have any, especially if you do that with the meth. Just be careful with the second and third doses because its not neccessary and can trigger you to wanna go pick up more.

G/luck!
 
Makes sense Bo thanx i appreciate the help.
That is what i will do.I cant get it until friday so i will stay at my current dose and on friday i will take 1 10mg pill.I am planning on buying 5 total but i will hand them over to my girl.
If i feel like i need more then i would think it would be ok to take a second one 3 days later.Does that make sense?
By the way BO i duno if you remember but i posted in your tapering thread b4 saying how crazy it is that you have so much self control.Im really kinda surprised when you say that you didnt really wanna stop.I think its more like maybe you werent ready to stop.
Point is if you really mean what you say that means this time around you will forsure make it and be clean for good theres no doubt in my mind.You really do have a crazy amount of self control :)
 
Lol thanks! I realized that my last taper was mainly provoked by the fact I was leaving the country, and when I got back from vacation I more or less just stuck with the taper to see if I can do it. I think I just needed to see that I COULD get myself off drugs w/out going to detox and although I went back, it still gave me a certain degree of control over the way I look at addiction now.
When I started using again it wasn't one day where I broke down and just went back. I posted on it here, and gave myself a week to decide and I realized I had no reason to be clean because nothing in my life really compensated for how utterly boring everything was. And using again did give me that excitement back, but its ALWAYS with a price, and it NEVER changes. I didn't give myself a chance to rebuild my life which is what I'm trying now. And I think you're right that once I finish this second taper I can't really decide why I'd ever go back. I was only using again for 2 months and I think just because I'm willing to go through the bs of a taper again so early, it really seals the deal that I'm ready to put this life behind me.
I'd say if after 3 days you are feeling sick then go ahead and take another dose. Just aim on keeping your tolerance low and if you are taking 10mg methadone everyday its going to quickly reverse your tolerance. So spacing it out like that I'd agree with. I really do think though you'll feel largely fine for the first week. Because you seem to be at the same exact point I've seen myself and like 3 other people at with sub. And the first week off is always good, and then those paws hit (if they do) which is really what you gotta plan for.

So take it if you think you must, but you need to give yourself time to see how bad paws will really be. And if you're not depressed and completely void of all energy a week after your last dose I'd take that as a gift from god and just never look back. Just keep in mind though that paws isn't instant, it can take like 6-10 days to really start. And if it does start you can fight it like I did, but it will take away a lot of your motivation to stay clean like it did for me. I'm really going back into this taper now focusing on nothing but the PAWs and how I plan on treating them because I at least know now I'm not escaping it. And my plan is to take a very tiny amount of tramadol (like 50mg) a day for the first 4 weeks of paws. It won't make me happy but I think it'll keep myself from plummiting into hell. And after the first month I know paws tends to lift. Even if its still there it'll just be much easier to deal with. I also was gonna rotate too like do tram for a week maybe and kanna leaf for another week just to make sure I'm not risking any issues with the tram.
But I'm sooooo excited to see how this goes for you because SO MANY people seem to have luck jumping off sub when they actually do it right. Others stop at 1mg and wonder why they can't stay off. You're in a perfect position right now and its really a feeling I can't describe when you take that last dose, a few days pass by and not a single sign of wds show up. I was on cloud nine that first week after sub, I just really hope PAWs don't do you in. And if you must go back during paws pm me and I will help you form a plan to get through it. I think PAWs can be handled with strategic dosing the same way acute wds can.

Keep me posted!! I'm moving down fast now and the odd thing is wds actually seem to be less so far. I'm barely getting hotflashes like over the summer, and its really just fatigue that I feel, but its largely nothing. Lets just hope it stays this way!
 
You know thats what scares me the most is the PAWS. In the past 6 years of my dope use i hav bin clean 3 times for around 3 months each time.
Even after 3 months i still had crazy fatigue i never had energy i was still sweating like a beast n i still couldnt get a normal nights sleep.
I really feel like the xanax helped me out alot thru this detox.
Ive had a decent nights sleep almost evrey nights since i started the subs.
In the past subs never helped me with sleep but since i stared taking xanax latley i feel like since i sleep at night my body is heeling faster.
Anyways right now its bin 48 hours since my last sub dose i will get the methadone 2morrow.
I will 4sure let u know how im doing.
Thanks for the support!!!!
 
I love how when I don't use opiates I party and have a fuckin blast --- chill with good people and enjoy life. I got to sleep like 4am , up to spar at 8ish and lifting by 9:30 --- opiates i can't do shit all. I jus been petting kittens and enjoyin the good life =D
 
theartofwar said:
I love how when I don't use opiates I party and have a fuckin blast --- chill with good people and enjoy life. I got to sleep like 4am , up to spar at 8ish and lifting by 9:30 --- opiates i can't do shit all. I jus been petting kittens and enjoyin the good life =D
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Yes!

Likewise my desire and ability to enjoy and plan other activities has improved greatly!
 
Carl you are really an inspiration to this entire board man I can't say it enough. Just seeing that you are clean now gives me like 150% more power to plow through my own shitty predicament.

So my update is I'm down to 50gms now. 10 days ago I was at 150gms and was there for the last 2 months abusing like a fiend. But I really like the way I feel now and its because I'm on a strong antihypertensive medicine so hotflashes have been almost nonexistent. Its such a HUGE change from the summer when I was stage 2 hypertensive because I actually think I was getting a good deal of hotflashes not even related to opiate wd.
Its truely amazing how much easier it is to take yourself off drugs when you don't have any outstanding health problems going on. I even take doxylamine succinate now and a bit of DXM because getting a good nights rest seems to help me heal that much faster. I plan on picking on some benzos towards the end and after that I'm off for good.

Even if I get slammed with paws I'll be out of school, so I think I should be good this time around. But I can't help keep repeating that I really think its easier to do this shit in the winter. Sure I'm happier during hot weather but hot weather also = stress, and it just seems to aggravate everything.
I'm really hoping this is the last time because everytime I go back my case of the "fuckits" just grows like an animal. I managed to not use more than 80gms for nearly 2 years and as soon as I go back I'm using nearly a half a pound a dose. Its not fun, it never was, I know my brain wants it to be happy but I was soooooo much happier when I was depressed and clean. I know it sounds crazy but its true. PAWs and miserable I still felt 1000times better about myself, and when I went back although I was getting high and emotionally felt good I never felt like such scum before in my life.
That scummy feeling is not something any drug in the world can take away, and its the exact reason I'm choosing to go through hell to avoid it. I'd rather die sad with integrity than happy w/out it, and that took me a really long fucking time to learn.
 
^ really respect that bro I've asked myself if I died what person would I leave behind and it certainly has changed how I view life and my decisions.
 
Went on a 3 day oxycodon binge last weekend, finished last of it monday night. Here I am back to sober life, don't feel all that bad. I think I'm finally getting that responsible thing adults do.
 
ive been going pretty hard for about 10 months now. with the drugs and alcohol.

recently went on a 5 day run, doin alot of meth, xanax. things got crazy intense, not gonna go into details...but it got BAD.

i dont want this anymore. i dont know if ill ever be completely sober, but right now i have to just try. i have to give sobriety a chance for once. i want to be clean on the holidays, for me and my family. i dont want to go through another christmas and new years, fucked up, blacked out, saying "what the fuck happened?" a week later when i come to...


i dunno if i can do it or if ill succeed this time, but i think im ready to try.
 
godlovesugly said:
i dunno if i can do it or if ill succeed this time, but i think im ready to try.
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You can do anything if you put your mind to it!!

It all starts with a desire which it sounds you have. A desire to stay clean. Stay focused and take it one day at a time. We can do it!!!
 
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