DecENDber / LESScember

[izzy66]

lotsa work n no play makes izzy bored, sleepy, and clean as it ever gets.

 

[Mariposa]

Update.

I have stuck to everything except for keeping a good diet, keeping a cheerful disposition, and getting on an antidepressant.

I have not snapped or yelled at anyone in I do not remember how long. I have been moody and apathetic much of the time.

I have stayed away from alcohol besides beer and about 1/2 bottle of red wine in the past 2 weeks. I have not had more than a couple beers at a sitting.

I don't smoke pot every day anymore.

I have taken my scripts, but halved my dosage as the benzos were starting to make me more depressed. I don't cry every day anymore.

I have forced myself to get out and do things, and to spend time with people, even when I have not wanted to do so.

My financial situation is improved due to savvy saving, and I will be entering 2010 with my bills paid and enough left over to eat. THIS is an enormous load off my mind.

I need to improve my diet by eating 3 meals a day, even if they are small and laying off the caffeine. I have trouble eating when I am sad or stressed. I have started an exercise bike regimen for my ankle and am pushing through it, though it hurts like hell still. I have been walking without my cane for almost 3 weeks now, just a compression sock... and I have avoided ordering tramadol which is HUGE - abstinent since early/mid November It was not as hard to come off of it for me as it seems to be for others.

Self-help books and techniques, particularly those of Eckhart Tolle (others as well), have been of assistance to me and I am continuing this self-exploration in 2010 to answer the question: how do I feel like a whole person instead of an addict, and why do I feel the need to drown my consciousness rather than expanding it?

It's a big task but I think I'm up for it.

 

[CoffeeDrinker]

Well since we are nearing the end I might as well tell people about my progress. I have stayed sober from everything since the 8th. I quit coffee on the 26th. And I have started working out regularly although I haven't been to the gym in 2 days because I'm feeling really sick from a cold or something. I am getting back into drinking healthy teas, and cooking healthy meals.

I am planning on doing something fun this New Years Eve, but IDK what. Maybe some MDMA, maybe some pot, maybe a little alcohol. Those are the three things that I would be willing to do most likely. I wouldn't want to be tripping or anything while out on the town. Whatever I do I am not going to go overboard.
I am leaning towards just the pot because I haven't smoked in nearly a month I know my highs would be pretty fun, especially if I am at a concert. Maybe I won't do anything if I'm still feeling sick.

EDIT: And I just broke up with my girlfriend. whew...