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December Getting/Staying Sober Thread v. Reflections.

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Everything is so Christmassy around this time. It does make me want to bunker down in my house sometimes, just to avoid any tempting environments.
All these suggestive party themed advertisements and bright flashing colors can bring up cravings or dumb thought patterns.
Gotta remember that enjoying this time of year in a healthy manner is something worth celebrating in its own right; something that you can be proud of in the future.

Just keep pushing through it. I don't know about you, but it wasn't just the holidays that triggered me. Everyday was a trigger for me when I was new to sobriety. Seeing an early 2000 Nissan Altima was a trigger. Life and all the ups and downs were a trigger. Just think though, if you can get through this it'll give you a lot more hope once the holidays are over. You can do it!
 
Not even sure what day. I know it's been at least 3 weeks. I feel great! I had a chance to use yesterday and just chose not to.
 
I think I'm at day 108. Pretty cool! This is a new personal best. Still going strong.. most of the time.

NSA really has it right when he talks about separating fantasy vs reality. Recovery is not willpower. You can't willpower your way to recovering a drug addiction just like you can't willpower your way to recover from cancer.

Gotta slowly, day by day, change that mindset and make positive improvements to your life.

Most of the time, I don't want to drink. That's making me happy. I still crave pretty heavily off and on. A month ago I wasn't craving that bad but now I am pretty bad, but that's just how it goes sometimes. Learning to separate that fantasy from the reality. Yes I am suffering from depression and anxiety, but drinking isn't going to help me.

Hope everyone is doing well.
 
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Photo i took a few weeks ago.

The light is there! just keep heading towards it!


Been struggling a lot lately with making friends. I have my girlfriend which i met in recovery, however i haven't really met anyone else i see myself being good friends with and it really sucks. It's also difficult in that my girlfriend went to santa cruz for school, i see her every weekend at the very least, but its made me realize how little friends i have besides her. I suppose it's actually a good thing right now, because if she was still at arms length 24/7 and i don't make any new friends it could become codependent really quickly.

I have a really hard time putting myself out there and meeting people. I can talk real shit with people, things that matter in my life or the world that i know about - but i can't do small talk.. at all. I can't have simple mundane conversations with people 98% of the time. I don't know why... I just have nothing to say. Nothing comes to mind. This is by far the most difficult thing i have been struggling with, more difficult than not using itself. In my addiction it didn't matter - The people i was surrounded with, we always had common ground in drugs. Using, selling, whatever. Because of this and the fact that i did nothing that wasn't drug related from when i was 16 till 22 and video game addiction for years before that, i missed out developing key social skills i think. It really sucks. And if you can't have simple mundane small talk conversations with people just joking around shootin the shit, then you can't make friends. 98% of the time when i meet someone at a meeting or whatever i never get more then a minute or two past introducing ourselves before I'm not really saying much and they say something like "well good meeting you" and walk away.

I went to a new meeting tonight, haven't been to a meeting in a month or two cause i was getting discouraged, but i know that won't help either so i went to one tonight finally and met with my sponsor for the first time in a while earlier this week. started step 8 and whatnot so I'm back to working a program and i've been staying sober, but i really need to figure out social skills and make some friends cause I'm pretty badly depressed about this right now. :(

deleted everyones phone numbers when i got sober, and starting over from scratch is fucking hard when you have no social skills. :(

Case, I get that too. It's hard to just relax when you feel like everyday is a struggle staying sober. Being lonely sucks. It just sucks. Keep on trying.

Maybe try joining things outside of AA.
 
Day 120 for me :) Love rounded numbers <3.

Sorry I haven't had a chance to reply individually. I like to do that as I think we all deserve a little feedback on our progress from one another <3. Holiday shuffles got me all tied up.

whitexrabbit-- keep your head up and start with a nice day 1. Don't let this get you down. It happens and has happened to us all. Just gotta pick it up! Do it!

I trust everyones doing great! Lets make this Christmas, and end of December a great one <3. Whether it be 1 or 100 days <3. Love you all!!!

Keep it goin strong guys! <3
 
had 7 months recently! :) I'm stoked. Keep up the good work guys!!! Stay positive.


I'm back in New Jersey visiting family for the holiday. This is where my addiction began, and my first time visiting in recovery. I'm feeling good about it though. I have a list of meetings everyday of the week and I finished my 8th step with my sponsor last week before coming here, so I'm ready to do a bunch of my step 9 amends now while I'm here. Excited and anxious at the same time about it. I know some of them will be great, but I am really nervous for many of them as well.

wish me luck guys, I'm sure for the most part it'll go great.
 
Good luck, Caseface. I found that going back to where it all started, as a different man, was a step forward. Make better choices this time around. You are a different person today than you were then. To moving on, being the best man you can be. :) Good luck, again.
 
Good job case and stardust.

I'm doing fine on day 2. To be honest, only just coming off the high now. It was stupid, didn't feel good, and I totally regret it. If anything I'm hoping it scared me off for good.
 
I'm so ready for 2013 to end, Jaggy! (That's your new nickname =D)

Hopefully I'll be able to consistently stay clean in 2014.
 
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