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H&R Moderators: streaM Freak
December Getting/Staying Sober Thread v. Reflections.
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shroomster
Bluelighter
And when they're out running errands, they dare not make eye contact. But we all know who they are.
I live in a drug infested apartment complex. People making deals, neighbors with too much traffic and lights on all night long. I know who they are, but even they don't make themselves available.
24 more down%)
day 90!!! chyea boi lol. i would say i am going to pick up my 90 day chip today but i dont collect those silly tags 
WOW! thats awesome man!!! keep up the good work, stay positive, and keep yourself occupied!
WOW! thats awesome man!!! keep up the good work, stay positive, and keep yourself occupied!
%)Very Nice Work On 90 LaCster !!!!!!!!!%)NSFW:
I'm doing pretty good.. But I think I need to evaluate where I am and what I need to do as I have been becoming a little complacent with my self and I have also noticed that I am isolating a bit. So I guess I need to get back at it in a few areas. This time of year is always a little rough for me as I get some seasonal symptoms. This was always the time of year that I used in very high amounts.
Just A Guy
Bluelight Crew
Same here, man.
Was perusing the old vendor pages... licking my lips. Then I hung out with an old friend and swapped "crazy-dayz" stories. I'm home now, not too worried, but kind of.
I'll be OK.Hope you stay in control of everything.
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
day 90!!! chyea boi lol. i would say i am going to pick up my 90 day chip today but i dont collect those silly tags
Thanks LaC
Congrats to you on 90 days--3 months, phenomenal work . Truly an inspiration, and honestly especially for me because I've known (do I sound stalker-y--sorry I'm not 
) and watched your posts in other sections. You truly made a complete 180. Good for you!I'm proud of you too babe! You picked yourself right back up.
Definitely can agree on that point
. So glad you're sticking with it. It won't be a drag forever. We just gotta rewire what we unwired and rewired as an addict so that we can learn how to enjoy the simples and joys of life again . I would have never guessed it by your positive, uplifting demeanor. I have no doubt you'll be able to correct your side-step and get right back on the track you want to be on.
. I agree the seasonal symptoms are a big weight on myself as well. I think it affects a lot of people. I even discussed it with my psych and she agreed that she even has it. Love you bud . Same here, man.
Was perusing the old vendor pages... licking my lips. Then I hung out with an old friend and swapped "crazy-dayz" stories. I'm home now, not too worried, but kind of.
Hope you stay in control of everything.
I know you'll be okay
. I believe in your ability.As for me, I didn't have the chance to post yesterday so today is my 108th day
. (my 112th day will be 4 months, I'm really looking forward to it . 3 months seemed like a long time but 4 months is passing a quarter of a year. It honestly feels like yesterday was day 1 (in a good way) time sure does fly by.)
spork
Bluelight Crew
You can, love. Just take it moment by moment.
stardust.hero
Bluelight Crew
Day 109
shroomster
Bluelighter
6 months here. I think I said 9 in my last post, my bad - i dont count days, and I'm generally under the impression it had been longer than it actually has.
Man, this week has been so weird. I've been obsessing over drugs nonstop. I'm unsure what triggered me, but once triggered, the thoughts and fantasies just pour the fuck in.
So anyway, here I am, craving shit, on my way to the gym for some endorphin action, and I run into the last guy I used with. I haven't seen this guy, nor thought of him in ages, yet here he is, at the height of my cravings. He was clearly under the influence. He just asked me for some money or whatever (he lost his apartment, now homeless) , and I went on my way. But damn, when I saw him, my heart felt like it was going to EXPLODE.
Man, this week has been so weird. I've been obsessing over drugs nonstop. I'm unsure what triggered me, but once triggered, the thoughts and fantasies just pour the fuck in.
So anyway, here I am, craving shit, on my way to the gym for some endorphin action, and I run into the last guy I used with. I haven't seen this guy, nor thought of him in ages, yet here he is, at the height of my cravings. He was clearly under the influence. He just asked me for some money or whatever (he lost his apartment, now homeless) , and I went on my way. But damn, when I saw him, my heart felt like it was going to EXPLODE.
Just A Guy
Bluelight Crew
Woah... I moved to Florida, and then back to Iowa, which is where all of my substance abuse has happened... I dread the day I run into someone I used to get high with. Way to 'effin go, Shroomster, being master of your impulses.
I know I can do it, too. I seem to stay away from chems when I suffer, and once I start feeling good again, I've got this "Fuck, I'm wiser now. More experienced. I can handle it. I gotta handle on it now." I've done that a few times. I can tell myself, and it's *probably* true, that I don't have a handle on it. I mean, it is true, right? lol I need to get to the gym is what I need to do.
TGIM tomorrow. (the weekends are the hardest)
I know I can do it, too. I seem to stay away from chems when I suffer, and once I start feeling good again, I've got this "Fuck, I'm wiser now. More experienced. I can handle it. I gotta handle on it now." I've done that a few times. I can tell myself, and it's *probably* true, that I don't have a handle on it. I mean, it is true, right? lol I need to get to the gym is what I need to do.
TGIM tomorrow. (the weekends are the hardest)
whitexrabbit
Greenlighter
Hope you don't mind me just jumping in. 2 weeks now and very doom and gloom today. Craving hard core. Probably would have used if I had something on hand. Grateful I don't.
Hey white.. and welcome to Blue Light. Hey congratulations on two weeks.. thats a pretty amazing accomplishment If you feel comfortable share what type of drug you are battling as this sometime can help. If the drugs did what the cravings tell you they do then why would we all be trying to stop.. cravings lie so take their nonsense with a grain of salt.
. Hey congratulations on two weeks.. thats a pretty amazing accomplishment If you feel comfortable share what type of drug you are battling as this sometime can help. If the drugs did what the cravings tell you they do then why would we all be trying to stop.. cravings lie so take their nonsense with a grain of salt.
whitexrabbit
Greenlighter
I'm an on and off narcotic user. I've been one to get hospitalized need narcotics and end off polishing a script super fast, but never needed to obtain more outside of far spaced medical issues until recently.
I started iving dilaudid a couple months ago, can't even remember how it started. Then it was almost every day. Then the dilaudid dried up and I was using whatever narc I could get my hands on. Percs, Vicodin, whatever. Then that dried up and I started to have mild withdrawl symptoms and it kind of shook me awake. I have young children and many responsibilities, so I'm trying to sort this out before i end up seeking out street drugs or getting caught doing something super illegal. My husband doesn't know. The narcotics made me fel more emotionally stable and a better person, but I was constantly vomiting, and lying about "stomach bugs"
I started iving dilaudid a couple months ago, can't even remember how it started. Then it was almost every day. Then the dilaudid dried up and I was using whatever narc I could get my hands on. Percs, Vicodin, whatever. Then that dried up and I started to have mild withdrawl symptoms and it kind of shook me awake. I have young children and many responsibilities, so I'm trying to sort this out before i end up seeking out street drugs or getting caught doing something super illegal. My husband doesn't know. The narcotics made me fel more emotionally stable and a better person, but I was constantly vomiting, and lying about "stomach bugs"
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