December Getting/Staying Sober Thread v. Reflections.

[neversickanymore]

Thank you for sharing. I respect and admire your foresight:D What are you doing to combat this situation and to promote a peaceful enjoyable life without opiates?

 

[whitexrabbit]

That's a good question. I'm still figuring t out I guess. I've been trying to concentrate on my kids lately. Took on a trainee at work to keep me busy. Started watching so good tv. (Which honestly sometimes triggers me to want to use) trying to get into vitamins/excercize/ diet. Curious if I need to be evaluated for a mood disorder. I don't feel I have one, but my entire family is bipolar. My very occasional use could easily be self treating.

 

[whitexrabbit]

I want to tell hubs. I think he would help me, but I want to make some progress first so he believes I can shake it.

 

[shroomster]

Woah... I moved to Florida, and then back to Iowa, which is where all of my substance abuse has happened... I dread the day I run into someone I used to get high with. Way to 'effin go, Shroomster, being master of your impulses.

I know I can do it, too. I seem to stay away from chems when I suffer, and once I start feeling good again, I've got this "Fuck, I'm wiser now. More experienced. I can handle it. I gotta handle on it now." I've done that a few times. I can tell myself, and it's *probably* true, that I don't have a handle on it. I mean, it is true, right? lol I need to get to the gym is what I need to do.

TGIM tomorrow. (the weekends are the hardest)

Gym it up!

Hope you don't mind me just jumping in. 2 weeks now and very doom and gloom today. Craving hard core. Probably would have used if I had something on hand. Grateful I don't.

Hey, i read your other thread. Good work, man..2 weeks is a long time at first!

That's a good question. I'm still figuring t out I guess. I've been trying to concentrate on my kids lately. Took on a trainee at work to keep me busy. Started watching so good tv. (Which honestly sometimes triggers me to want to use) trying to get into vitamins/excercize/ diet. Curious if I need to be evaluated for a mood disorder. I don't feel I have one, but my entire family is bipolar. My very occasional use could easily be self treating.

I want to tell hubs. I think he would help me, but I want to make some progress first so he believes I can shake it.

You can do it, white - everyone has the ability to enjoy life sober; it's just a matter of relearning how. Exercise will help a lot, especially with the cravings (IME)

 

[itsALLfake]

Man, I really can't believe it is about to be a year.. I'll never forget a clean date for NYE..just worked out like that. Life is smoothing out even more so than it has. 5-6 month mark seemed like I was heading back into everything again, but I got out of that rut, and my daughter, Saida, is smiling about any little thing. So that really lights up my day.. I'm going to be spending my 1-year mark in Atlanta with Sound Tribe and friends. I'm really powered up today, even if I didn't sleep to make it into work... I'm getting my first kayfun(clone) today. If I could just work sleep into the schedule of baby and vaping, life would be overly grand.

Really glad to see you're still truckin, stardust.

I'm never at the office(at a computer) anymore, so I might not get the chance to get back on here, but I wish you all a wonderful holiday season, and happy new year!

 

[Pleh]

Hello all. I have quit drinking and today is day number twenty two.
I am convinced that every now and then I will be able to post here with a larger number. I truly believe the difficult part is maintaining a proper mindset and as mentioned knowing that living sober is a serious choice that may need time and practice to get accustomed to. A place to track progress in a pleasant way really helps.

 

[Space Firebird]

Why'd I let myself relapse?

I'm in opiate w/d and I wanna scream. The joint pain is killing me.

Because you're a dummy like me.

Just kidding, well, sort of...

I screwed up again myself, joining the thread because this is the month I taper back down to zero!

What a pain, I wish I would learn my lesson.

Good work everybody!

 

[Space Firebird]

^ addiction is fucked.. it makes us want what will never happen again.. those craving whisper i will make you feel amazing.. they lie.. when you just went back and tested the water it wasn't what you remembered was it. yeah it might have been ok for a minute but that minute was over quick and then the pool started to look just like the myre that you threw your all into and were able to navigate out of months ago.. don't listen to her nonsense. she lies.. dont get played by that slut.. Throw back into her face what it will really be like.


Addiction is defined as “a chronic relapsing condition characterized by compulsive drug-seeking and abuse and by long lasting chemical changes in the brain.” - MedTerms
The term relapse is the most significant in the definition of addiction. Mark Twain’s famous quote “Quitting smoking is easy, I’ve done it dozens of times” helps express how addiction becomes a physical and psychological disorder.

"The Three Headed Dragon"
The metaphor of the three headed dragon was first popularized by a therapist in San Francisco. The first head is physical. Addiction is a chronic illness requiring a lifetime of attention. The second head is psychological. Addiction is a disorder with mental, emotional, and behavioural components. And the third head of the dragon is spiritual. Addiction is an
existential state, experienced in isolation from others.

“Chasing the Dragon”
The term “chasing the dragon” is a term used by addicts in an effort to catch the first high they had on their drug of choice. “Because of the
unique reaction that the genetically addiction prone individual experiences to his drug of choice, he or she programs his or herself belief
system with the deep conviction that the substance is ‘good,’” writes Richard Seymour. “This is where self-help becomes intrinsic to recovery. Unless one deals with the third head, unless one changes the
belief system and effects a turning-about in the deepest seat of consciousness, there is no recovery…”

- “The Chemical Carousel”
by Dirk Hanson

when we crave we are given pictures of a lala land that no longer exists if it ever did.

Good stuff NS, I can relate to it all.

 

[shroomster]

Hello all. I have quit drinking and today is day number twenty two.
I am convinced that every now and then I will be able to post here with a larger number. I truly believe the difficult part is maintaining a proper mindset and as mentioned knowing that living sober is a serious choice that may need time and practice to get accustomed to. A place to track progress in a pleasant way really helps.

Good stuff NS, I can relate to it all.

Congrats man. 22 days is a long time for people likke you and I!!

 

[neversickanymore]

Hey Space damn good to see ya!!!

 

[Space Firebird]

Hey Space damn good to see ya!!!

Damn good to be seen! :thumbup:

Good to see you too!

SF

 

[Space Firebird]

unless one changes the belief system and effects a turning-about in the deepest seat of consciousness, there is no recovery..."

- “The Chemical Carousel”
by Dirk Hanson

I'm fascinated by this comment.

It is a reference to a line from the Lankavatara Sutra, which I consider to be a somewhat obscure Mahayana Buddhist text...

"After experiencing the "turning-about" in the deepest seat of consciousness, they will experience other Samadhis even to the highest, the Vajravimbopama, which belongs to the Tathagatas and their transformations. "

http://www.sacred-texts.com/bud/bb/bb16.htm

 

[neversickanymore]

Thanks for the link.. do you have another one where I can reference the terminology as I don't know a whole bunch of what they are talking about space so im going to need to do a little reference and studying.

But yeah when I read that line it fascinated the hell outta me as well.. still does.

I think there is a monumental difference between wanting not to do something and no longer wanting to do something.

As far as the changing ones thought on a level that deep.. take a look at this thread and especially the link to the chapter about the elephant and the rider.. possibly thinking about the idea of training the elephant in respect to this idea. I know the title of the book "hapiness hypothesis" is kinda cheesy.. but the other part of the title.. "finding modern truth in ancient wisdom" I like allot better but then agian never judge a book by its title or I guess its cover.. and i think this was one of the most beneficial books I have ever read so I would say give it a gander if you have a minute.

The Brain and Addiction (under construction)

 

[j_rod]

No subs for 6 days no opiates for a day. Im going into day two. Last night was tough but I managed. Got up this morning and went to work. I ate some vitamins and struggled through. Im tired now, and looking forward to a steaming jacuzzi. I know a day is not much but im thankful. I have delt with the sweats and chills. Im a little nauseous right now and extremely tired. I do feel better though over all now than when I attempted last week. I feel like I can do this. I want to be clean and break this cycle.

 

[ad lib]

Because you're a dummy like me.

Just kidding, well, sort of...

I screwed up again myself, joining the thread because this is the month I taper back down to zero!

What a pain, I wish I would learn my lesson.

Good work everybody!

You can do it! I'm on day 8 of no opiates

 

[neversickanymore]

No subs for 6 days no opiates for a day. Im going into day two. Last night was tough but I managed. Got up this morning and went to work. I ate some vitamins and struggled through. Im tired now, and looking forward to a steaming jacuzzi. I know a day is not much but im thankful. I have delt with the sweats and chills. Im a little nauseous right now and extremely tired. I do feel better though over all now than when I attempted last week. I feel like I can do this. I want to be clean and break this cycle.

Keep at it J.. your doing great.. the way you feel isn't permanent.. just temporary.. only tales a little while to wander out of hell but the benefits are amazing

 

[neversickanymore]

24 more yuall

 

[VanWeyden]

Day 15!

And you better believe those last days have been tough, PAWS were almost killing me.
Saturday night I had really weird nightmares like I didn't experience them in a long time I would fall asleep just to wake up in my sweat an hour later, fall asleep again and so on. Managed to make my way through sunday, which always was my chillout and using day, and once I tried to get some sleep, I started to worry about everything I possibly could, which kept ke up until 2 am, and I have to get up at 5:30...

What frightens me the most is that I have to learn for my state exam the next 4 months, so I have no appointments, no work schedule, no one who is aware what I'm doing thdouout the day.

The second is, last week my girlfriend found some paraphernalia I used the last time I relapsed. At first she was horrified, shocked and felt betrayed, but I could explain her that I had forgotten to put them in the trash and wasn't even aware they were still there, which is the truth.

But now that old fear of getting caught is back. I'm positive that I don't have any drugs nor paraphernalia anymore, but I distrust myself with that.

I ruined so many relationships with that behaviour, and many times the last blow was finding something I didn't even think about or know it was still there.

Fuckin brain!

 

[stardust.hero]

Day 110 for me

I'm so happy to see so many people doing so great love you all!!!

 

[caseface99]

210 days!! I haven't posted in a month or two, but still going strong here!!! coming up on 7 months.

How's everyone else doing??

I'm doing well, go myself registered to go back to school! Finally! I'm so stoked. Going to major in Chemistry. (possibly) Things are going well with my girl as well, haven't been any major situations since i last posted.

Hope everyone is doing well!!!!