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Datura is UNPREDICTABLE and CONFUSING (question)

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...this is actually my main concern,anyway,I haven't established any other life goal apart from this one,so I'm going to do my best and finish my tripping journey,if I will be able.
 
Shadowsblaze said:
but I think 5 yrs. is a good study period for what your attempting, hell 2 would be good for my book.
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I thought about that before,but 10 years sounds more epic and ''impossible'' in the same time,actually,my goal is to prove if a 10 year tripping adventure is possible or not.
 
That cocktail for a week seems extreme. A month, a year, 10 of them. I can't imagine what the long term affects might be. And still being high on Datura then taking Muscaria throw in some DXM AND Salvia on other days. I can only hope you you develop a tolerance for your sake. The hypothesis is to see what its like. My theory is "loony tunes" for life. I hope you reconsider, fuck the promise to yourself. Come up with an alternative with something more stable and evaluate that if you must. The risk is too great to take this chance, think it over, than do it again and again.
 
Shadowsblaze said:
Spearfishing Great White sharks could be a challenge up your alley. Or paddleless white water canoeing. Better yet skydiving where you throw your parashute out first and go after it like Arnold. Joking bro, I'm sure you'll find something interesting, but I think 5 yrs. is a good study period for what your attempting, hell 2 would be good for my book.
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:D

@OP you should ground the seeds into a fine powder and dose with a scale. Or just make tea (I don't know if it works with those seeds though).

I feel totally brain damaged after a month on PCP. 2 years with this combo is not something I would make it through intact.
 
Grigore said:
In my case,when I meet the Toloache God while tripping on datura,I instantly realize that I'm high on datura.

Other way in which I realize that I'm tripping is when I have to urinate,while high on datura you experience urinary retention,that's another reminder for me.

And yes,the delirium diminishes when you realize that you're tripping.
Also,the delirium from datura can diminish when you take a cold bath because datura delirium is caused by the fact that your body temp raises dramatically,so,if you stop that,you won't experience mind blown delirium.
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What was the Toloache God like? I know people who have experienced entities on Ayahuasca but they took it in ceremonies and sometimes a small amount of tree Datura or Brugmansia was added to the admixture.

I found this text about a supposed Toloache ceremony: http://www.sacred-texts.com/nam/ca/roli/roli04.htm
 
The Toloache God appears in 2 forms (at least,this is how he/she appeared to me,in my trips)

-A brown cerberus with red eyes,horrific appearance.Most of the times,he/she appears in this form when I have a bad trip.

-A white,pale lady which gets angry easily if you don't show her affection and sympathy.Sometimes,she likes tricking you.

Because of pure curiosity,I've once decided to insult & make fun of her in my delirious state of mind and this made her ''get back into her shell'' and transforming herself into the cerberus form that is extremely scary and intimidating,tears dropped from my eyes every time that hellish creature got too close to me.

In her 2nd form she shows her ''good side'',but if you prove to her that you're not trustworthy to see her in that form,she will come back to her demonic form and terrorize you for the entire trip.

Actually,I'm not sure if she is truly a lady or a hermaphrodite because her lady features are a bit distorted,I've made a portrait of her in my book.

Toz said:
I feel totally brain damaged after a month on PCP. 2 years with this combo is not something I would make it through intact.
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Nobody would make it through intact,I'm glad that I'm still able to socialize with people over the internet but in reality...I have serious problems,whenever I talk with a stranger,my pupils dilate,my face turns red and I get dxm like visuals. (the third eye suddenly appears on their face,their mouth disappears,it's really creepy)

I'm having a lot of trouble from dxm & datura induced psychosis,I always get auditory hallucinations at night and CEV's,sometimes OEV's.
...forgot about deja vu's,I have daily deja vu's and it's not that nice.

But,well,I'm still strong enough to endure this,I haven't lost my motivation,neither my hope.
Unfortunately,I've severely lost my math skills,my memory and my self confidence,but,that won't stop me.
Anyway,I have nothing else to do,I don't even know what else I can do..I'm buried too deep in this tripping journey,I can't give up now.

Shadowsblaze said:
That cocktail for a week seems extreme. A month, a year, 10 of them. I can't imagine what the long term affects might be. And still being high on Datura then taking Muscaria throw in some DXM AND Salvia on other days. I can only hope you you develop a tolerance for your sake. The hypothesis is to see what its like. My theory is "loony tunes" for life. I hope you reconsider, fuck the promise to yourself. Come up with an alternative with something more stable and evaluate that if you must. The risk is too great to take this chance, think it over, than do it again and again.
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I'll consider stopping when I won't be able to do anything else.
As I'm still able to function,I'm still able to continue.
I can't stop yet,I have enough energy within myself that can help me go on.

One of my main concerns is that whenever I stop tripping from the substances that I take,my psychotic episodes begin,so,without taking anything,I start tripping once again.

Sunday,when theoretically I should be sober,I'm tripping almost as hard as I'm tripping saturday,when I take dxm.
I'm glad that I managed to relatively stomp the delusions,whenever I become delusional & whenever I get paranoid,I take 5 zolpidem pills and go to sleep.
When I wake up,I'm tripping but I'm also less delusional,it actually helps.
 
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I really think what you're doing here is incredibly dangerous both in terms of overdose risk and for your ongoing mental health. I would urge you to stop but I think it would be futile.
 
I'm no longer in control of myself and,at least I'm conscious of this..
I would stop if I get rid of the delusions and psychotic episodes.
My main problem might be represented by the fact that I have border personality disorder. (diagnosed by doctor)
I don't even know much about my illness,but I'm totally sure that,if I decide to stop while being in the semi-sober mental state,when I'll start tripping again(because eventually,I'll start tripping again),I will feel guilty and when I feel guilty,I can't stop myself from punishing myself,it's weird I know,so,I would end up overdosing and maybe dying.

That's my fate if I decide to stop my 10 year tripping experiment.The hope of stopping myself is lost...

Or,maybe,someone can help me overcome this mental barrier..? :D
 
To be honest, if you're really intent on tripping that many times a week, why not use much safer and more useful psychedelic tools (I'm thinking about psilocybin and LSD)? At least two of the substances that you're using are probably neurotoxic. Psilocybin and LSD and whatever else you would use instead probably wouldn't be healthy at that frequency, but it would be a whole lot safer than your routine now, and it could help you out with the underlying issues that you seem like you're struggling with rather than just sending you into weird delirious states.
 
Well,there comes the money problem.

I take datura because I can grow it in my backyard.
I take dxm because is inexpensive.
I take salvia divinorum because I have enough money to afford tripping on it once a week.
I take a. muscaria because the forest is full of them from late august to november,this is how I get my winter and spring reserve of A. muscaria.
After that,I buy dried A. muscaria from *no sources. ever*.

and it's not easy to get LSD these days,most of the times when I buy ''LSD'',it's actually an RC:either 25i-nbome or 2c-i or something similar.
about the psilocybe shrooms...they are pretty expensive too and not easy to identify if you go shroom hunting.
 
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Spacemonkey5000 said:
Seriously this cant be for real?
I smell trollol...
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Smell what you want,believe what you want.
I would feel embarrassed for making such an immature insult.
Would I enjoy wasting my time on lying people? Is that a fun thing to do?
I guess not.

well,I'm going to think about that,never thought of growing shrooms before..it's actually a good idea,thanks for your suggestion :)
 
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Grigore said:
Smell what you want,believe what you want.
I would feel embarrassed for making such an immature insult.
Would I enjoy wasting my time on lying people? Is that a fun thing to do?
I guess not.
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Well if you are serious then cudos to you man. You are living on the edge and pioneering in the field.

I just have a hard time imaging anyone being alive let funcional at all after eating datura over 500times or whatever times you have during this time.

But idk some people love that stuff although most of us cant handle it and go nuts or die the first time.
 
Grigore said:
I've written 70 pages of mind blowing trip reports,14 poems & 9 abstract drawings(while tripping),35 pages about my psychotic episodes and 25 pages about the time that I've spent in the mental institutions because of datura and dxm overdose.

As a perfectionist,hard worker and drug enthusiast,I must admit that my book isn't finished yet.
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You will also add real value to your book once you have stopped your experiment and recovered enough to be able to provide a self analysis from a sober state of mind. I know DXM can take quite a while wear away after chronic use. It will be a long and hard road, but the reflection you will be able to provide is the key to making your words reach those of us who live in consensus reality. Otherwise you are sending messages in a bottle from a universe no one will be able to understand.
 
Spacemonkey5000 said:
I just have a hard time imaging anyone being alive let funcional at all after eating datura over 500times or whatever times you have during this time.
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I've mentioned before that I'm not as functional as you might think.
I have serious problems with just going out and socializing with my friends or..better said,with my only friend that I currently have.
Psychotic episodes,panic attacks,delusions sound like something that a normal/sane person might experience?

I'm terribly sorry if I sound rude,I don't want to offend you.. :)

bunnyhentman said:
You will also add real value to your book once you have stopped your experiment and recovered enough to be able to provide a self analysis from a sober state of mind. I know DXM can take quite a while wear away after chronic use. It will be a long and hard road, but the reflection you will be able to provide is the key to making your words reach those of us who live in consensus reality. Otherwise you are sending messages in a bottle from a universe no one will be able to understand.
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Your words are wise,but,I would feel very guilty and my self confidence would vanish if I won't do what I've always wanted to.

So,if you are willing to convince me about stopping,please tell me how can I overcome this guilt,so I won't end up commiting suicide?
 
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Grigore said:
well,I'm going to think about that,never thought of growing shrooms before..it's actually a good idea,thanks for your suggestion :)
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It is a capital idea. Shroomery is your friend.
Also since you seem to be able to handle complete bat-shittery and heavy body loads well. . .Lots of DXM and low/moderate shrooms is one hell of a combo. Look for trip reports sometime.
 
you're gonna want to seriously reconsider that datura twice a week, for the sake of your brain. I'd suggest some coluracetam and other nootropic stacks to help restore your memory. You should DEFINITELY drop the datura and add homegrown shrooms, or k, or L, or WHATEVER you can get that's NOT datura. The A. Muscaria is questionable too, but the datura isn't even questionable, it's just toxic. Do yourself a favor, at least swap shrooms for datura. It will save your brain, and it still counts as long as you're tripping, right? Shit, some 5-MAPB or something cheap, maybe even a SINGLE hit of an NBOME would be better.
 
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