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Dark times! Kicking Suboxone cold turkey

Justinmoore78 said:
Lol thanks sorry I wasn't on much today same deal with notsoprettyinpink just a rough day but I'm making it. I was born and raised in Detroit so I know all about Canada its alot easier for sure but you still wanna quit so it's not easier mentally. Sucks to because I know alot of people that have children get free childcare and abuse the system. They get free Suboxone i guess I gotta have another child. (Jk)

I'm gonna go out tonight and try and meet some new friends because I have none yet , just my alcoholic beverages neighbor lol. But it's better sitting In the house. I also took actions in disposing certain things around me I dont really need anymore and I'm ok right now. I do still have a Suboxone and 2 kps left I'm actually surprised I haven't taken anything in 2days but its starting to hit me now fairly quick. You guys really help alot I'm not know kidding 100%. Helped me so far! For that I am in your guys debt.

And yes I went 6 days without sleeping and eating it was horrible! By the time I did eat I had to force it down and I threw up all night it was horrible. And your eyes need rest like your body obviously. You start seeing shit that isnt there, headaches the whole nine. All in all addiction sucks and I wish I just stayed to smoking weed like I use to. But you live and learn. Thanks again you guys I really appreciate you!
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And all the same to you, Justin. I appreciate people like you. No one better knows what it feels like more then someone going through the same exact thing or who has been through it. To the judgemental? We're just "junkies" who shouldn't exist anyway.

Haha, and look how badly I, myself, contradicted myself within myour own thread about why do some people come on here? Yesterday I was seriously just like; "fu*k life". I'm only adding that here since you said you were feeling that way earlier.

I finally got about 4 hours of sleep, woke drenched in sweat and had multiple "drug dreams". I want to sleep so bad but now I'm just flat out fearing it. Hopefully you don't have to go through it when you finally do sleep.

Anyway, it's nice to hear you're going out. Just be safe:)

Much love,
Bernadette
 
Well I went the 5 days or 6 I don't remember close in the middle with nothing! Sleep ,eat or fluids and withdrawal puts me in nightmares too but the demons in my head are way bigger they don't bother me lol. So with that I did score those last 2 Suboxone on my worse day Monday took a while hole one now i have to take a piece because my stomach hurts so bad I don't want to get sick again. I still have no apatite at all. I didnt at all last night but I finally got to sleep Monday night and Tuesday atleast 4-5 hours . Non abusers have no idea but it's all mind over matter.. I don't mind can cause they don't matter . I've always been strong my whole life I'm a tard theese days dont get it. Get well soon! Ever need to talk about shit i can help too unless I'm outside digging my own hole lol (jk)
 
Justinmoore78 said:
I'm using the mobile site exuse my grammar and spelling lol
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I can only use the mobile site cause I don't have Internet per choice cause I have a great phone. If I go on the "real site", the print is so small that there's no way I'd be able to see anything written....so excuse my grammar at times too:)

I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE what you said about non abusers!!! I've never heard that phrase but that's an AWESOME way of thinking about it:)!!

I wrote on "why are you on here" that my physicals are hot/cold, sleeping and waking with soaking wet hair and the dreams. The rest is PAWS. I'm so happy you can fight off the "demons in your head" though because they can become crazy. Trust me, they are in mine too and I could easily obtain a script from my doctor for 20 mgs per day. But then I ask myself.....will you take JUST 2, 10's per day? Answer; no. And will you take them orally? Answer; never. I've only ever snorted them for the past year or so. But I went into MAJOR withdrawals every, single month. Once with a pulse rate of almost 200, pounding in my heart, vomiting, severely dehydrated and all else. That morning I took my last half of a methadone and sat and waited for the withdrawals to come back but the super dangerous bad ones never did. I even had 3 whole ones but eventually flushed them. I felt so good. Then, crash, boom....PAWS out of the blue.

Right now, I know it's just the methadone lingering in me as for the physical symptoms. Now that I think about it last month I ran out of oxys much too quickly and easily obtained for free from family 15 of them. Plus before joining here had 10 that were given to me again. Tapered, suffered a little but when the heart pounding went away (I have physical conditions that could've made going cold turkey for me extremely dangerous), I took no more.

It you take the Suboxone, isn't that going to be just a quick fix then throw you straight back into the same withdrawals? Sorry, I know little about it.

Anyway, keep talking. I'm trying my very best to and it does help. Perhaps me it helps too much since I write so much within a thread but at least you'll have a mini novel to read daily:)
Much love <3
 
Sounds rough. I would go to my nearest health clinic and inquire about some type of mental health services. I would not do this alone. Studies show those who use a long term taper under the care of a doctor have a better chance of actually getting off ORT's and staying sober.
 
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Prescottdave said:
Sounds rough. I would go to my nearest health clinic and inquire about some type of mental health services. I would not do this alone. Studies show those who use a long term taper under the care of a doctor have a better chance of actually getting of ORT's and staying sober.
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It's all about money my friend unfortunately nothing is free unless your on welfare and I refuse to be. It is hard very hard actually but I don't have a choice I've spent at least 200k or more on drugs it ruined me almost killed me I have to quit I promised someone who couldn't be here to see me actually do it and it burns me. Time for a change . They say like 87% chance I'll fail well that means 13% chance I won't.. I'll take those odds or die trying unfortunately. As gready as it sounds there . It is very hard I wouldn't suggest anyone taking methadone unless they had a heavy heroin addiction and I would never encourage anyone to use but rather try to discourage if I can. It's a demon bigger than the one downstairs. Thanks for advice though
 
@notsoprettyinpink haha thank you I have many weird quotes I say I crack people up with most i got from my wacky father. Yes it's just delaying guess but in my head I'm thinking it's helping (maybe it is) but the methadone stays in your system for so long it sucks.

The demons are bad the one day like I said I almost ended it I was uncontrollably crying and don't even know why I just wanted out I was seriously dancing with devil that night . I say the demons in my head beat it out it's just I figure of speech it hurts bad. I look at it as I've had severally bad truma in my life more than alot of people can handle and I made it through it. I blame myself for my addiction only but I blame certain situations I was In as well. I'm a head case lol I just try and fight it until I can seek help again. I'm supposed to be on Anxiety's medication was for years but also had to quit for now.

The shakes dreams sweats all that is definitely from the main methadone it freaking lingers forever ill be there with you too soon . And the people that say oh go take a jog or do some activity I wanna smack because I can barely get to the bathroom sometimes, wash a dish even lol. Hell on day 2 I cut the grass because obviously I'd never let my mom do it and it's like a acre (push power) I looked like I had a handicap haha it was awful! I came in hit the floor and that was it! No joke everyone is different but I'm same way
 
Justinmoore78 said:
@notsoprettyinpink haha thank you I have many weird quotes I say I crack people up with most i got from my wacky father. Yes it's just delaying guess but in my head I'm thinking it's helping (maybe it is) but the methadone stays in your system for so long it sucks.

The demons are bad the one day like I said I almost ended it I was uncontrollably crying and don't even know why I just wanted out I was seriously dancing with devil that night . I say the demons in my head beat it out it's just I figure of speech it hurts bad. I look at it as I've had severally bad truma in my life more than alot of people can handle and I made it through it. I blame myself for my addiction only but I blame certain situations I was In as well. I'm a head case lol I just try and fight it until I can seek help again. I'm supposed to be on Anxiety's medication was for years but also had to quit for now.

The shakes dreams sweats all that is definitely from the main methadone it freaking lingers forever ill be there with you too soon . And the people that say oh go take a jog or do some activity I wanna smack because I can barely get to the bathroom sometimes, wash a dish even lol. Hell on day 2 I cut the grass because obviously I'd never let my mom do it and it's like a acre (push power) I looked like I had a handicap haha it was awful! I came in hit the floor and that was it! No joke everyone is different but I'm same way
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Oh my God, you're SO funny, Justin:)!!!!! I feel totally crappy but just had a genuine laugh reading your reply. I'm so much into "sarcastic humor":)!!! I even wrote down your other quote. I read it, then read it again and thought to myself; "That makes SO MUCH SENSE"!!!!!:)

I, too can relate to blaming others for my addiction even though I chose to keep using. It just "dulled" and "numbed" the pain and trauma though by taking more and more.

As for the anxiety medication, please tell me you didn't quit that cold turkey too? As is always said; "Withdrawals from most drugs may make you feel like you're dying but chances are you won't wheras alcohol and benzos can cause death if stopped abruptly after drinking/using for an extended period of time." I take Xanax (1mg × 3 per day) and once tried to go cold turkey and it was the worst experience of my life. I was even hallucinating horribly. And shaking? Like crazy but I thought I could do it because I also take anti seizure meds. Not so. So I hope you're not heading for a double "whammy" all at once. I'm sure you already know all about what I just wrote but still wanted to include it for "just in case".

Also, I want to go back to "your demons". I feel like, the more I think about it, I was struggling and fighting my own off the day I didn't come on here. I, too, cried and felt a flood of emotions about the past, present and future. Then today (well yesterday now via my time zone), I was right back on here. We're going to have our severe ups and downs but I for one am going to try my best even on my worst days to at least come on here and disappoint people by just leaving a 2 or 3 word reply to at least say; "I'm ok". Sarcasm, of course about not leaving long messages on threads...haha:)

I'm going to attempt some sleep but I'm sure I'll be back on later.
Much love, Justin, hang in there <3
 
Lol actually I did I was on Xanax for over 3 years. They never wanted stop prescribing it because of the methadone so they quit me in it and gave me valium and I took 1 script and quit them both. Ive over that part , taking on both would of been quite the battle not wanting or probably be able to handle.

Sleep well that seriquil is what's making your symptoms come when sleeping read that other thread thread .
 
Justinmoore78 said:
Lol actually I did I was on Xanax for over 3 years. They never wanted stop prescribing it because of the methadone so they quit me in it and gave me valium and I took 1 script and quit them both. Ive over that part , taking on both would of been quite the battle not wanting or probably be able to handle.

Sleep well that seriquil is what's making your symptoms come when sleeping read that other thread thread .
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No!!! I'd definitely NEVER want to tackle both at once!! I tried JUST the xanax at once and didn't make it through. I gave up after about 2 months. So, in my opinion, you're a very strong willed, determined gut who can conquer just about anything:)!

And I did read what you wrote on my thread. I said about drug dreams and those are usually what I have but then mixed in are some just CRAZY ones. For example; I moved away to a ghetto and got a huge group of friends who kept cutting my hair in all different funky ways and dying it for me red and purple and making me wear certain very odd clothing but I just didn't care. And on real life I like my hair long and dark blonde, stay to myself and never "change up" my look. It was just weiRd. Again, thanks so much for telling me cause like I said on my thread, last night I didn't take it at night and has no dreams, just awful sweats. But not cold or hot.
 
Yea that's the addiction I'm sure adding in. I've had some funky dreams on seriquil especially while detoxing?
 
Justinmoore78 said:
Yea that's the addiction I'm sure adding in. I've had some funky dreams on seriquil especially while detoxing?
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Any intense sweating too? When I wake up my hair is glued to my back and my clothes are soaked with hot/cold flashes STILL.....I said I wasn't counting days but I know. On Sunday it'll be 21 days since I've used either drug.
 
That is totally normal. I haven't taken anything in weeks and I still sweat like a mother giving birth whenever I am working real hard physically or am super anxious. Soaking. Wet.
 
toothpastedog said:
That is totally normal. I haven't taken anything in weeks and I still sweat like a mother giving birth whenever I am working real hard physically or am super anxious. Soaking. Wet.
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You just answered my question here that I asked you on my thread. Besides adding that it's "normal" to still have these symptoms but does that then mean that I'm still in the acute phase? With the depression, I thought it was PAWS.

I can't speak for all but for me personally it makes me feel so much better knowing certain things are "normal" because then I won't freak out. And yes, as you mentioned on my thread my anxiety is high too but I'm a little worried. I've been on Xanax since 2009. I'm almost out (10 days early) due to using more. And as we all know, benzos and alcohol are the worst 2 "killer"drugs if stopped abruptly. I'm scared about this too. I do take an anti seizure med though and hope it helps...
 
I hear that methadone stays in your system quite some time and it is normal to have normal sweats and you could have small withdrawal type symptoms for quite some time. It might be also linked to the drug like you may (want) to use fein (miss spelled) witch could be why the dreams are about using. Not to sound weird but like if you have a dirty dream you wake up horny does that make sense are only because I'm a male? Lol
 
This is one I know far to Baku about. This has only been done by me suck..sesfully in a short time not just stopping from normal dose. But steppin down like within 4 days .With the help of colonidine .2 Mgs and GABBABEANS ... I find them essential for the overfuckin welling anxiety in pit^0 stomach... and this combo has helped . For me . May not for You but dead wringer for me. And the gbean ref. Is for Norontine or gabapentine. I take about 2000 MG 2 times a day sounds like to much but I didn't get in this position by doing things in moderation. . Works well almost with no sub dts. And let me say this I had been on suboxone almost since it's creation. And it's a hell of a great drug saved me. But it's a beast to conquer getting off without a horrible relapse but is definitely doable . I was a hopeless dopfened. But now a dopless hope fend. And no AA for this Ahole. But if anyone is like me I have more trouble with the mental hurtle of getting off the shit than the actual uncomfortablness of the experience.
 
MIKEROSWIM said:
This is one I know far to Baku about. This has only been done by me suck..sesfully in a short time not just stopping from normal dose. But steppin down like within 4 days .With the help of colonidine .2 Mgs and GABBABEANS ... I find them essential for the overfuckin welling anxiety in pit^0 stomach... and this combo has helped . For me . May not for You but dead wringer for me. And the gbean ref. Is for Norontine or gabapentine. I take about 2000 MG 2 times a day sounds like to much but I didn't get in this position by doing things in moderation. . Works well almost with no sub dts. And let me say this I had been on suboxone almost since it's creation. And it's a hell of a great drug saved me. But it's a beast to conquer getting off without a horrible relapse but is definitely doable . I was a hopeless dopfened. But now a dopless hope fend. And no AA for this Ahole. But if anyone is like me I have more trouble with the mental hurtle of getting off the shit than the actual uncomfortablness of the experience.
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Wow just reading your message I can tell we are alike in that sense so I will be stupid not to try your remedy. Thank you for responding, glad your clean man stay on top of it
 
Justin, I don't want to sound pessimistic but I take 2,800 mgs of Neurontin/Gabapentin per day. The max dose and it didn't help at all. But that's JUST me.

Clonidine/Cataprese on the other hand will help you alot. You just have to be extremely careful because although it may cure most symptoms, it can dangerously lower your blood pressure.

And both you'd have to get from a doctor. Do you plan to see a doctor? Or are you just waiting it out to see how you feel?
 
Notsoprettyinpink said:
Justin, I don't want to sound pessimistic but I take 2,800 mgs of Neurontin/Gabapentin per day. The max dose and it didn't help at all. But that's JUST me.

Clonidine/Cataprese on the other hand will help you alot. You just have to be extremely careful because although it may cure most symptoms, it can dangerously lower your blood pressure.

And both you'd have to get from a doctor. Do you plan to see a doctor? Or are you just waiting it out to see how you feel?
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BUT I have seen other people say that Neurontin helped alot.
 
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