Daily Mail - 'Smoked pot, got caught!' Mom forces her 13-year-old son to carry humi..

Newbierock said:
I'm agreeing that you probably shouldn't be smoking weed at 13 (even if it makes me a hypocrite, doesn't stop it from being true.)

but doing something that extreme to punish a kid? What the fuck happened to taking away allowance/privilegse and stuff? Don't give your money to spend on weed sounds a lot more practical than dressing him up in some home made sign. If my mom did that to me i'd have bailed as soon as I hit 16.
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That's exactly the problem.
How to discipline a teenager, and take control over his/her behavior, but not alienate him/her at the same time?
Is it even possible?
My older kid won't be a teenager for 5 years, but that is not enough time to figure out an answer to this question!

For now, all I can do is try my best to communicate openly, be honest, and to listen to my kids.
One big problem: I cannot be honest about drugs.
If I told my kids the truth about drugs, the cops would come talk to me after one of my kids said something in school, or take my kids away from me because they described to their teacher what DMT is, or some other crazy thing that you read about.
Once my kids get close to teenagers, I will become more honest, slowly, as my mom did with me (first telling me that she had smoked weed a few times in college, and then that she had smoked weed many times in college, and then that she had tried LSD once...)

The drug war has the effect of preventing honest communication about drugs within families - something terribly bad, that we often don't even consider when listing the evils of the drug war.
 
slimvictor said:
I dunno.
What she did is likely to just make her son hate her, and keep away from her.
She didn't seem to make an effort to understand his position.

Then again, 13 is just too young to be using drugs, so I understand wanting to send a strong message.
I would do something strong if my 13-year-old were smoking weed.
I agree with Steely J on this one.
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I agree that this can lead to the child losing respect for the parents. She could be making it worse by isolating the child, making him not feel accepted or loved by the parents. 13 is an impressional age so what happens to him now may stick with him through out high school. If my parent did this to me, it would make me despise them when I was that young. That would have lasted years. That's not a good thing when the child is going through physical and mental changes, not tha smoking weed is good either for either one of those.
 
slimvictor said:
^ Yeah, it's true.
Actually, I guess that smoking weed is less damaging for a 13-year old than losing trust and love for your mother.
So there must be some kind of solution that doesn't involve the parent losing trust/love.
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One idea I have is to have the kids talk to people in jail that are there for drugs. Not to be like "don't do drugs, mkay" but to show them that while drugs should be legal, they are not. That no matter how much a person believes marijuana and other drugs should be legal, they are not. That there are consequences for illicit actions.

I use to believe that weed should be legal and it didn't matter if I smoked it with no caution and then I got caught.
 
i dont think its that humiliating especially not to his peers and people his age most teenagers and young adults would probably get a laugh out of it honk there horn and give him a thumbs up (i know i would). and honestly if i were the kid id wear the sign proudly with a huge shit eating grin on my face while i wave at passer bys. sneak off to a friends house after the punishment to get high and laugh about what a tool my mom is.

bottom line is this was a stupid move on her part he probably has less respect for her now and possibly got a number or two from a dealer driving by or an invite to smoke up lol
 
slimvictor said:
That's exactly the problem.
How to discipline a teenager, and take control over his/her behavior, but not alienate him/her at the same time?
Is it even possible?
My older kid won't be a teenager for 5 years, but that is not enough time to figure out an answer to this question!

For now, all I can do is try my best to communicate openly, be honest, and to listen to my kids.
One big problem: I cannot be honest about drugs.
If I told my kids the truth about drugs, the cops would come talk to me after one of my kids said something in school, or take my kids away from me because they described to their teacher what DMT is, or some other crazy thing that you read about.
Once my kids get close to teenagers, I will become more honest, slowly, as my mom did with me (first telling me that she had smoked weed a few times in college, and then that she had smoked weed many times in college, and then that she had tried LSD once...)

The drug war has the effect of preventing honest communication about drugs within families - something terribly bad, that we often don't even consider when listing the evils of the drug war.
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and thats the bitch of it your kid parrots something you say in school the teacher doesnt agree with it and bam cops and social workers are banging on your door taking your children away, it dont matter if your a loving and upstanding parent.

what you said reminds me of a story that made national headlines in canda earlier this year (dont know if you brits or americans heard of it). but basically a 5 year old girl drew a picture of her dad with a gun shooting monsters. the teacher was "concerned" calls police and social workers. the dad gets arrested in front of his kids when he picks them up at school, they detain him in a jail cell don't bother to tell him why hes being detained. after a strip search they search his house top to bottom. in they end i think they found either an airsoft or painball gun or gun that he had a legal permit for. maybe even no gun at all.
what really fucking pissed me off was the school division trying to do damage control/ justify there actions. They actually had the audacity and arrogance to say "we like to think we co-parent our students". BULL FUCKING SHIT THE GOVERNMNET AND ITS MESS OF BLOATED BUREAUCRACIES NEED TO LEARN TO MIND THERE DAMN BUSINESS AND USE A LOT MORE DISCRETION
 
If i knew his mother i would love to beat the shit out of her and i am against beating women.
 
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