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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

cutting

reading through this thread, it seems like a lot of you guys have cut slash are cutting because of anger/depressing/anxiety/etc. are there any reasons for some one to cut? as in, not because they want to hurt themselves...also, what about cosmetic cutting that doesn't bleed much? i guess i don't totally understand cutting, sorry!
 
Anger, depression, anxiety? Are they not reason enough to cut yourself? You say you don't understand why someone would hurt themselves - neither do I. Everytime I've done it is has been because the alternative, be it bad emotions or emptiness, is worse than the actual self harm. I'm not hurting, but helping myself. If you don't do it you can't possibly know how this could work, because you will always try to examine it from your frame of mind, which tells you that cutting is bad. But for some people cutting is not bad. For some people it can be very useful.
 
It is basicly everytime someone feels upset or feels down. Or if I feel basicly without any good feelings at all. I also think anxious feelings bring it on. Thats just me anyways, and many people I have talked to about this, that have these same incidents with cutting.:(
 
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i do it when i am so upset that i dont know what to do.

im so angry that i KNOW i cant take it out on anyone else.

honestly, i dont understand it either.. thats why its so upsetting... i continually repeat this behavior that i dont even comprehend. i get no pleasure from it.. at least in the sense of PLEASURE (like sex or cocaine).. its just sort of.. i suppose a release. a catharsis, of sorts, i suppose.
 
yeah i fell back on it. heartbreak's a bitch eh. at least i came to my senses before i got too deep again but shit... i went like 9 months without it, for this. :( ugh
 
hugs syympho <3

don't be too hard on yourself for cutting again. you have enough to deal with right now without this added burden. you are a strong person and can make it thru this.
 
Well, I have to say, clicking on this thread when i was drunk was a bad, bad idea. I'm just sitting here picturing myself doing it right now, and it looks so tempting... Fuck me, I can practically feel the warmth running out over my arm.

Sorry if that offends anyone, like I said, very drunk. But I get some drugs tomorrow, so life is picking up.... hoorah!

<goes to find razor>

night
 
stellablue75, I'd also add frustration. I'd always do it when I felt this utter sense of frustration, like I'd really gone all out for something, and it still didn't work, especially in the realm of human communication. The frustration felt like it surrounded me like a tiny prison cell, and there was no way out. The pain of rubbing and damaging the skin where my thumb and forefinger meet would feel like it was lifting me away from this prison. I once built up a thick callus there from doing that. The the callus would crack and bleed. Even after 2 years of never doing this anymore, and putting ointment on the spot, the skin there still isn't the same.
 
I used to cut. A lot. I still have a faint scar of the word FAT on my inner calf. When I used coke, I'd do a lot of cutting on my legs and feet. I had to stop b/c it got so bad, I could barely walk or stand. As silly as it sounds, an antideppresant DID help. I think about cutting a lot, the thought is in my head whenever life gets shitty and that is pretty much all the time these days, but I don't. I just don't do it. Unforunately, I turn to drugs instead. Xanax, Opiates, etc. I wish I could find a real coping method that didn't cause me anymore harm than I've already done to myself.

My sympathies and heart goes out to you all. I KNOW what you are going through. Please PM me if you want someone to listen...
 
how many of us have cut the word fat into our bodies at some point? i did years ago...probably 6 or so...but no scaring.

i find its pretty easy not to cut as compared to drugs or drinking. i think ive only cut once or twice this year. if anyone ever wants to talk when thinking of cutting my pm box is worth it. sometimes it just feels good to bleed :(
 
I used to cut myself once for every goal pound i didn't lose... that got bad fast.


In the past year, it's been easier to not cut as opposed to not get fucked up, but i've been going back to it more and more lately and it's starting to be hard to get myself out of the pattern again..
 
I am a cutter too - I don't even know really why - I started when i was 27 (i'm 31now) and I know that this is really unusual - it probably has a lot to do with losing my best friend to brain cancer and then a year later losing my fiancee to a car wreck 4 months before we were supposed to get married. (he was messed up on pills at the time and i was blamed for the accident). I then moved away from where i was living to a different state and i just felt so STUCK. and i HATED myself and what i had become. I had become an addict (methadone, soma, klonopin,ambien,zanex,attivan,fentanyl patches, so much stuff it isn't even funny- my GOD - i've gotten to the point where i'm addicted to Nitros...i'm spending $300/wk on it!) after they both died - and not working - just HATING myself -
i cut with a butcher knife most of the time and the scars on my arms and legs will always be red and raised or indented - i almost bled out on quite a few occasions -god- just talking about it is making me want to go and do it again....so i'll stop- but I wanted to tell you that you aren't alone in it - and i sometimes think that not all of us are wired for what others consider "normalcy" or even "sobriety"
*sigh*
i don't know -
but I agree with what someone else said - just remember - i know what it is like when you are in the middle of it - but try to remember to kind of be careful - you don't want to make a mistake - even though we all believe that we know our limits and we know where to cut and how deeply -
it's always good to be careful.
if you ever want to talk i'm here ok?
M
 
I'm going upstairs to cut now, and not the pussy ass scratchs I have seen some of you post, I use a serrated knife and cut big deap incisions accrss my tricep/bicept. No deaper enogh for stitchs, but almost, then I think i will cut up my ribs some.....oh course, this is the ultimete in attention seeking....which is what a piece of shit like me does.....tell me, how is it possibble to feel so infearior and worthless yet come across as arragant and concieted
 
fuck it, coulb't bee fucked, had my last dexie undder my tountg, mixed it up with some effexor and a bottole of canadian club.
 
Hello!
Why should one cut only when is anxious or angry?
I do it when I am happy also- I mean, two days ago I cut myself. Two little tiny cuts (one is 2 mm lenght, other- 6mm) and I did it not because I was angry. 8)
No, I am not a freak- I have just 5 visible scars from cuts. I do it not too deep, but enough to feel that pain I want .
I just missed the feeling :\
I went through a year without cutting - it is not the only way of coping with sh**s. But I just saw the razor two days ago and before I even think about anything I got that small cut. Then I got the other just in few hours time as I was sitting with friends and holding a pen-knife - no bad feeling for doing it or not. I just went through my skin for a blink of an eye and neither of my friends saw anything.
I am not going to tell you what I felt- you all know it. But my question is - now what? I have done other things like burning, doing drugs (just taking some pills) and nobody was suspicious of anything.
I do not do it for attention, I do it for the feeling you know so well.
And now I end up thinking where to cut so noone could see it- scars are mine and noone else's. Calfs are not the place- it is visible. Then feet? Don't know anymore...
Any suggestions?
WARNING: I do not want anyone to trigger her/himself just because I wrote that. This is the first time I share this with someone thinking like me in such a place. It is not just because someone feels bad - I felt totally well when I cut. And that is why I do not feel miserable shit when I am doing it except sometimes.
Oh, just fuck everything I just said. It does not matter. Just remember the feeling =D
 
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I don't know if I'm preaching to the choir on this, but many people find that when they are tempted to self-harm, then holding ice in your fist helps. It gives that feeling of pain and damage without the risks associated with actually cutting. Try it, maybe it will help?
 
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