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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Cutting v. 2

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^well these were, in the NA guys case, all down his legs, and lighter-shaped - it was pretty obvious wat he was doing

as for darko, all his were on his chest, but they were still lighter-shaped (and arranged in a pentagram)
 
^ wow thats really interesting.. darko and his pentagram lighter-shaped burns...
hmmm
and yeah if yu have them all down ur legs then its probs pretty ovious.
but like if its just one every now and then like on the back of ur arm its just like you dropped a straighter or something.
 
I am so close to giving in

SO FUCKING CLOSE


Ughh.

I just don't feel like i have it to owe anyone...
 
pip, 4 months and counting ;)
Woke up without any new wounds.
Go me :)

Thanks so much to Enki, Butterfly kisses and leftwing for the love and support last night, you guys helped more than you know <3

Moments of weakness CAN be overcome!!
 
For fuck sake :(, just ended up slicing open my arm and now feel even fucking worse then before, i'd been doing so well and had gone over a year since the last time aswell :(, I don't even know what came over me, I just found myself staring at the blood in the sink like the "good old days". Why does this always happen? I can go for ages, but then out of the blue something stupid happens and I go and do it again, once a cutter always a cutter :(.
 
No no no, don't think that way...that just allows you to fall back into it. Just like a drug user does, "well I used I might as well just keep it up..." bam, right back where you were and didn't want to be. At least that was how it was for me and cutting. Once I started again I figured what the hell...
accident happen, we all mess up. You just have to stay strong and say nope, I don't want to go back there, so I won't. Don't let it get a hold on you.

I'm over the crap from last week. Stuff with the bf just faded into the background as if it never happened. That is pretty normal for Sean, although I haven't forgotten what he said and what I need to be working on.
I didn't end up taking the lighter to my arm that night either and haven't self injured in awhile. Hopefullly I can keep it up. :)
 
CbRoXiDe said:
For fuck sake :(, just ended up slicing open my arm and now feel even fucking worse then before, i'd been doing so well and had gone over a year since the last time aswell :(, I don't even know what came over me, I just found myself staring at the blood in the sink like the "good old days". Why does this always happen? I can go for ages, but then out of the blue something stupid happens and I go and do it again, once a cutter always a cutter :(.
Click to expand...

Damn, I'm so sorry to hear you gave in after more than a year :( *hugs*
Please don't tell yourself that you'll always be a cutter. You have to believe that you can quit for good. Sure you relapsed this time, but that doesn't mean you have to give in again.
What other coping mechanisms do you have that you can turn to when you feel the urge to cut? Who do you have to talk to about this?
 
Thanks for the replies guys, I know I shouldn't think like that but I just can't help it, I started cutting at quite a young age and did so for a few years but managed to get control and sort myself out and stopped for a long time, but then like this time, relapsed after around the 1/2 year mark, and it just seems to happen everytime I stop, and has done for the past 5 years and it's really disheartening.
As for other coping mechanisms I don't really have that many anymore, as I never really feel depressed or bad, I just feel neutral in a sense, most of the time not happy, but not sad either, and I just get on with it like that.
At the moment I don't really have many people I feel I can talk to, partially why i'm posting here I guess, the talking to someone you've never known or meet is sometimes alot easier to do then someone you've known for a long time I guess.
 
I have no idea what is going on with me tonight but I am in total melt down mod.

I haven't cut in over a year--really haven't even thought of it-- and yet suddenly, tonight, the images are pushing their way into my brain and the skin where I used to do it is starting to feel tight, like it's just ready to be opened. And I did. I am. I forgot how good it feels when you are so tightly wound and just wanting...needing to do it. And then you do...it's like a fucking orgasm or something.

I don't know why I am having this complete meltdown??
 
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^you know im always there to talk darl:) i know youve had some shit go down lately, but don't fall into temptation. you've got many people who care about you and love you on here!<3

be strong chicka! you know how to contact me:)
 
Awww kc I am so sad to hear this :(
But I know exactly how it feels.

I gotta run at the moment but please feel free to PM me anytime okay???
Much love sweetheart <3
 
Somehow I stopped recently. Part of it is because spring is coming and I want to wear short sleeves without being self-conscious. Also, I am entering into a professional internship and I can't let them see fresh cuts that can't be explained away. I might still cut on my legs but it just isn't the same as cutting on my arms and hands...
I don't really have the desire lately.
 
hey guys, sorry if I scared anyone last night....I was just in a really really bad place.

I'm not sure what brought it on though I'm guessing PMS had something to do with it.

I have to say it really scared me though because I haven't felt like that in awhile. And I also had forgot how much tension builds up and then is released before and act self-injury.

I'm doing a little better today; mainly embarrassed over how foolish I made myself look on here last night.

Thank you n30 and lw for your concern and kind words, it means a lot to me :)

Congrats on you recent break wingnut...keep it up :) and congrats on the internship as well!
 
I feel like cutting when shit start going wrong, especially when I can't seem to fix it. Trying just to ignore it. I was looking at the scars last night, I robbed myself of ever being seen as "normal", of being pretty...once they see it, its questions and instant judgement of being "emo". Nothing pisses me off faster than people saying that.
 
wingnut that is great to hear you've broken the cycle! Good for you hun <3

kc, it may be the PMS making it worse, it sure as hell makes it a whole lot worse for me!! So I definitely know where you're coming from.
Good to hear you're feeling a bit better today sweetheart <3
 
i wa told 'tillexis' obsesiv pickin is not a form of selfharm, but what if u did it until you developed a hole in your nose septum? it has happend more thna ppl think
 
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