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Cutting v. 2

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n3ophy7e said:
^^ How old is it? Is it getting infected? Or has it scarred over? You could still get some skin layers flake off if it's scarred already.

But if it's infected, please please go and see a doctor to get some antibiotics and/or some Silvazine cream from the chemist.
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It's about a week old. I dunno about infection, it doesnt look too bad. The lighter was like an almost circle with a tiny bit that didn't burn me and a little circle part in the middle. i'm just worried about the part in the middle because its kind of weird texture and color. almost grayish.
 
^^ From memory of my various first aid courses over the years, (someone please correct me if I'm wrong!) when burns are deep or severe they get a greyish-waxy look. Even though your burn is small, it might be deep enough for this to happen?

If it doesn't start to heal in the next few days, maybe get it checked out.
 
Neosporin the shit out of that

^^^ I think I know what you mean about the grey waxy thing on deep burns. I have a nice set of cig burns on my upper left arm. I didn't put them out, I just kind of roasted the shit out of the areas, almost touching the cherry to the skin and holding it as long as I could, then trying again in the same spot. The result were what looked more like cigar burns, big patches with some deeper impressions, 'polkadotted', like the hair folicles had all melted out or something. (you can still see the dots, and the deeper burned area actually scared a darker almost brown color when compaired to the whiter surrounding scared area.)

There was definitely a.. unique.. grey, sort of soft semi-skin thing that formed over them when the first healed. My mind first thought 'infection', it didn't look right at all lol
 
I made a choice to repeat last nights experience again tonight before going to bed. I don't know if it was the relief i gained from it, or just the wanting to do it again, but i just know i am.

I'm pretty messed up at the moment, actually feel like an idiot for posting this, definately something i'll regret tommorow morning.

I havn't really cut yet, i mean i have a little but its nothing serious - I'm intrigued to know how its going to go...

I ended up buying a pack of proper razor blades today...normally i just take of the blades from shavers and use them...but this time i bought real razors.
All i can tell you is their a whole lot sharper, was a little worried at the amont of blood and the deepness of the cut...a little scary...but it didn't hurt and it normally does...
 
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Seems iver fallen into the whole - just one more time trap agian.

It doesn't even amke a difference, i don't relaise until the next morning...jesus

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Up o about 10 standard drinsk now - i think i might pass out soon, this is the only way i can feel like me...its i duno...
Its me, without the anxiety, without the shyness, without the show...its actually me...


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I promised myselfi would never cut my arm - but i'm goign to have to wear long sleeves, at least for the next few weeks - i'm terrifired of what i've done but ... i want to keep doing it...
 
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Noreason, You need to realize that what you are doing to your body is wrong. And that you dont deserve that kind of treatment, from yourself. Until you realize this you will just be stuck in this cycle. Trust me I was there.. a couple times through out the course of my life. You dont deserve that.


Feel better.
 
noreason41 said:
Its me, without the anxiety, without the shyness, without the show...its actually me...
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noreason, I know exactly where you are at the moment. I am going through the process of quitting alcohol, and the part that I am having most trouble with is accepting that I am ME without alcohol. It's scary and confronting to find out who I am as a person without alcohol because it's been part of my life for so long. But like me, you will one day come to know that you are a beautiful and strong person without alcohol and without[i/] cutting. You don't need either of those things in your life to succeed. <3

P.S. please be careful with those proper sharp razor blades. I remember the first time I used a proper razor blade and the cut was so deep, I remember thinking "Oh god, what have I done?!". It was a far more serious cut than I intended. So please be careful.
 
noreason-PLEASE, PLEASE be very careful....... 'nuther cutter here. For too many years. If you HAVE to injure please do not use/drink at the same time. Worst episode for me? 194 staples-yeah-staples because I have so much scar tissue on the insides of my wrists that the dr's can not sew thru it. STAPLES are MF's to go in but 1000 times worse coming out. Blades are lethal. Cutting will fast become one of the worst addictions you'll ever face. Because just like a drug-one needs to see more & blood, you know? Especially if one suffers from abuse issues and/or guilt & shame.
 
Well something pretty big happened today.

One of my friends, the person i talked to, got worried and told the school i go to. This resulted in the school taking me to a doctor, who gave me a referral to see a psychiatrist (after seeing my arms) - and another round of ambien (he doesn't know i got the valium). I'm seeing her tomorrow - Maybe it will finally help me get over my ED, i don't know.

This means i'm going to have to face my dad for catching me out (getting stoned - may not be a big deal to most, but my dad is anti-drug crusader #1).

I don't mind the psychiatrist, i've actually wanted to see one for a while, but i'm terrified of everything else - especially if the school told my dad about the cutting.
 
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dont think they can say anything to your parents now then =)
(Don't quote me on that)
 
noreason, I know it's embarrassing/hurtful/shameful that your parents know what you've been doing to yourself, but they love you and only want the best for you. So one day you might see it as a good thing that they know, because they can help you get better.

Good luck, and take care of yourself <3
 
I've had an utter shit day, today is the first day i've wanted to hurt myself so much that i would cry... and i'm definately not asking for sympathy.

I took the valium and drunk again, I'm further than i was last night, and i've now got a prescription to ambien (yay) - But for the first time i'm doing something productive with my lack of anxiety.

I havn't cut yet, i've got this urge to do it. It's like having a piece of paper in the room that will tell you exaclty what will happen in the next 10 days, you've got this incredible urge to look, but you can't - you don't want ot. I don't know if i will, i wouldn't say i need to...but just want to, really badly want to.

I'm surprised at myself, i just really want to - but i still havn't ...
 
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I haven't cut in yrs, like since a young teenager, but just started college and have started again. For me I just feel like its less destructive, and less a waste, of money than drug or alcohol addiction. I don't like doing it per se, but sometimes I just get so depressed, and even though I have friends, I either feel like they use me or try to ditch me constantly. And this one other girl that used to cut and was kind of helping me, told me I was a pussy and it just doesn't seem the same between us now, so I don't know what to do.:(
 
Dragynfyr said:
I feel guilty coming here now
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Why?? This thread is designed for discussion about cutting, and that includes stories of past cutting, methods of stopping cutting, reformed cutters' stories, and relapses.

Don't feel guilty about coming here :)
 
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