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Cutting v. 2

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zombiesarepeaceful said:
Jesus fuckign christ, the more i go sober the more I wanna cut. "just stop its that easy" have you ever been tehre motherfucker? get out of my business. i know i'm moving into your house but its not that goddamn easy, ive been clean like you wanted but you don't understand, when i speak like i've been told i kick myself for it, for my thoughts, i think and feel too much i'm nto the only one but goddamn when you live alone inside your head for 18 years it drives you mad. i cant find a happymedium, i'm either catatonic, high, or dangerously agagressive. i cant take being sick in the head and body.
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I can relate, I have always been a loner. I actually feel comfortable being a lone all day every day. It's something we need to work on but it's NOT!!!!!!! easy. Good post.
 
The desire to cut lately has been getting worse. I try to remind myself of how bad the scars look and how it makes me feel when people ask me about them, but as some of you know, it doesn't always help.
I'm just looking for some words of support. Thanks.
 
^^ Would it help if you actually physically wrote a list of the reasons you shouldn't cut? The reasons you stopped doing it in the first place? The reasons you've held out from doing it for so long?
Some people are "visual" personalities so for them actually seeing something written down on paper helps cement it in their minds. Does this apply to you??
That's all the constructiveness I can think of at the moment, I haven't had my morning coffee yet.
Hope that helps Pillthrill. From what I've seen/read on here, you've been going really well lately, and you've showed us the strong happy person you can be.
 
Thanks. Maybe I will try that, can't say I can come up with very many. But I'm sure my therapist would like it. I'm glad that someone is seeing positive changes. I'm working harder on becoming and projecting the person I want to be.
 
I am doing the same thing Pillthrill, everyday can be a struggle but I try to focus on the things I have at hand. Everyday I get through these things I feel stronger and sometimes I feel better, but sometimes it's just hard, and I try to take a day to rest my emotions, and just reflect or help someone else until the next day arrives then I tend to feel better. This has been working for me for sometime now.
 
People who slash their wrists

Is this usually attention-seeking/a cry for help? Or do people who do this generally mean to commit suicide?
 
There are many reasons that people self-injure. It can be a different reason each time or more than one. Just like most things no person or situation is alike.
 
People being mad at me is what triggers me the most. But even though I've lost at least two friends recently, I've managed to abstain from cutting. Mostly because it's the summer and I don't want to be wearing long sleeves all the time. All cutters should move to places with warm weather because it's a good motivator to stop!
 
I played water polo when I was cutting so I had to cut on my hip so a Speedo would cover it, that didn't motivate me to stop.
 
^^ Yep, people who want to cut will find a way to do it regardless I suppose.
Do you still cut? If not, when did you stop?
 
I stopped cutting two years ago after a fail suicide attempt put me in various hospitals for two weeks. I have cut once since then but I started doing a lot more drugs since then and that's replaced my need to cut.
 
The desire to cut happens after the feeling of intense loneliness overtakes me. I'm not sure why, perhaps I need some way to let that feeling out or to convert it into physical pain...
 
To be perfectly honest I don't know what leads to me cutting these days. Most of the time I'm drunk. And now that I think about it, most of the time it's just after I've had a big fight with my partner. But now that we don't fight much anymore (mainly due to reduced alcohol-consumption) I've been cutting less.

And then sometimes I cut for no reason at all. It's just from recalling the endorphin rush that comes afterwards and wanting to feel that.

I started cutting when I was a teenager because I grew up in a family that didn't really encourage discussion about controversial things, e.g. I discovered I was in love with a female schoolmate and I didn't feel that I could talk about it to anyone close to me. This caused a lot of depression and I felt that I had no other outlet than to cut.
 
i still have urges to cut, but i just feel these days like it's not worth the scars... i like swimming, what can i say ;)
 
leiphos said:
i still have urges to cut, but i just feel these days like it's not worth the scars... i like swimming, what can i say ;)
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That's great! Whatever reason gets you to stop cutting, it doesn't matter, as long as you stop :)
Keep up the good work :)
 
Scars of the Past

Found this today I must say its the most poignant video on SI I have ever seen...Please be safe when watching this, it is *Triggering*

Be Safe

<3
 
Wow that was intense.
I wonder who that video is aimed at?? Cutters? Ex-cutters? Family and friends of cutters?
 
Craving that sweet high of that blade against my skin
its been 4 or 5 weeks past the last time.
I think part of the reason is i cant get any drugs
i need help.....
 
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