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cutters - you are not alone. (merged)

^^^ If we are not alone, then you should prove us;). And the best proof is a board bout cuttin:):) IMO. I think, "your not alone" aint just that enough.

I believe, self inflicting is an art, and deserves a board:p.
peace:)
 
thank you dr suess this has really helped me clear out my head and organise what has been happening to me... i have going thru some extreme things the last month and i think i may know why now. i meet someone who was like me we both cut ourselves so we made a deal that we wouldnt do it anymore and if we did the other would cut themselves to teach the other a lesson. it was never about suicide it was more of punishment or a release (the punishment was because i hated myself) but i have found now that it becoming more and more about suicide and im also getting absolutly desperate to cut myself....tonight i was crying that much that i couldnt see and i was tearing up my room to find this one little razor, i have never been that bad ever. my friend keeps really pressuring me to stop he even made me throw out all my blades and for some reason it has made me mental. i dont know what to do anymore and i realise that im really close to the edge and it scares me cos in the heat of my passion for the blade god only knows what i will do......
 
I believe, self inflicting is an art,
Click to expand...

no its not, body modification is an art form, scarification is a part of that - which in itsself is cutting, but there is a difference between cutting for modification and cutting to release anything
 
^sometimes the line is blurred tho...when i was burning myself i did it in a pattern to pass it off as art...but really it was mostly for the release because i definately got pleasure from it.
 
^^^I dunno, I think you're getting into dangerous territory there. I understand what you're saying and I understand that the need for release can coincide with creative expression, but I don't think it's really a good idea to promote the idea that cutting yourself = artistic expression. I don't mean any offence to people who are into body modification, scarification etc...I just don't think it's a wise idea to confuse that with self-injuring, or to promote the idea that they're always one and the same thing.

On the idea of a cutting forum...while this thread has seen a lot of traffic, I really don't think the subject is deserving of an entire forum to itself on bluelight. There are other forums specifically for people who self-injure, there are links to those forums in this thread...I just don't know that it's in bluelight's purview to set up a whole forum for cutting, and I don't know if it would get enough traffic to justify its existence. Just my opinion of course, not shooting anyone down or anything.. :)
 
Though I appreciate this thread more than just about any other currently on bluelight, I certainly agree that there is no need for a cutting forum.

There are a lot of differences between those who self-mutilate and those who body-modify. People who do scarification with serious intent have to schedule the session for which they want to endure... cutters aren't anything like that. I'm very implusive about my cutting, though I plan it, it isn't like an appointment. Besides, those who do this are *proud* of their scars while every cutter I have seen has not been. Even if I used scarification as some sort of excuse I couldn't bring myself to lie like that.. talking about it is difficult enough. I guess this long stupid rant could be summed up by saying that I think those that make something from pain art are seemingly in a completely different (and relatively healthy) mindset from regular cutters/burners.
 
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i was just saying that when i DID burn myself and realized that i liked it alot and would probably wind up with a decent amount of scars, i just made sure to do it in a pattern...so if anyone ever saw it, i could just tell them it was body-art, because i just felt so ashamed and fucked up that i could get so much pleasure from it...this was in the very beggining of my SI and i didnt quite know how to feel about it...or how to respond if someone else saw it.
 
i have a friend like you guineaPig. he is not into scarification or anything, but burns designs into himself. he does it not for the design, but for the same reasons many people in this thread do. the patterns he makes just make what he is doing less obvious to his parents and friends. he does not show them off, nor is he proud of them. they are just there, like anyone's scars, only his make pictures :\
 
AmorRoark...i know how u feel. im finding it really hard not to cut whilst my friends are here. actually imfinding it hard not to cut full stop. i've been doin it way to much latley and all my friends are starting to find out about me and it makes it much worse for some reason. life is shitty. i think thats all it will ever be... i would like to think better but i have seen no evidence to suggest other wise.
 
People, I just wanna say....cutting may not be the most healthy coping mechanism, but it's still a coping mechanism. Just because you're not as flawless as you might like to be, it doesn't change the fact that by cutting yourself you're doing what you can to protect yourself from greater hurt.

It's not something to be proud of, but don't ever think it makes you a bad person either...
 
i can feel myself losing control of my emotions
the emptiness--i feel so hollow
i might even watch myself cry
studying myself, as if im not in my own body
sadness overwhelms me
hysterical, i lower the metal to my skin
i drag it.
sometimes deep. sometimes shallow.
often times slow; other times quick
horizontal, vertical--sometimes words
but my main goal is to draw blood
draw the pain out
release it
to replace this lack of control
with a more tangible prospect
suddenly i am pacified, like a child
the intensely euphoric rush consumes me
the emotional pain ceases
the physical pain never comes
nor will it
and as i continue to bleed myself
and any scars that remain will not be shadowed by regret
this is my COPE
my happy place
 
^ <3 <3 <3 I can't tell you how much I loved that poem. I can never explain what cutting does for me... you can which is pretty fucking powerful.

I was going to quote the parts that I thought which I could relate to the best but I actually couldn't find anywhere that I *didn't* relate to perfectly... though I found

sometimes deep. sometimes shallow.
often times slow; other times quick
horizontal, vertical--sometimes words
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the most beautiful :)
 
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